Happy Thanksgiving

I feel a need to add to my blog this week after the Ferguson Grand Jury decision came down last night.  Whether you agree or disagree with the decision and/or the process, we can choose to either focus on all that is wrong or use our efforts to make change. Some of you may say that this is easier for me to say as I’m white. I haven't had to experience the prejudice, the racial profiling etc.  True.  I don't pretend to know what it’s like to walk in the shoes of anyone of color.  What I do know and believe is each and every one of us no matter color, ethnicity, religious belief etc. are blessings, add to the beauty of this world, and have contributions to make.  Polly Anna thinking?  I don't care if that’s the perception.  I know that if I spend my time listening to the news and everyone else’s opinions and “take” on the events that have occurred these past months; I feel down, discouraged, and it’s easier to focus on all the negative.  When I listen to talk around solutions, moving forward, we don't have to accept “the norm,” and what actions we can take to make a difference, I feel empowered and ready to move forward. Those choices are my choices.  I choose to make a difference one day, one friend, one situation at a time.

 

“Each year on the fourth Thursday in November, Americans gather for a day of feasting, football and family. While today’s Thanksgiving celebrations would likely be unrecognizable to attendees of the original 1621 harvest meal, it continues to be a day for Americans to come together around the table,” according to History.com. 

How do you celebrate Thanksgiving?  Do you have specific traditions that you follow each year?  What about those special recipes?  Do you have special memories of that day?

In 1976, our family and friends were all gathered at my parents’ home not only to celebrate Thanksgiving, but the next day Jon and I were getting married.  We wanted the wedding to be exactly one year to the day we met on our blind date, however, in 1976, that meant it would be on Thanksgiving Day.  Guess what…that doesn't work.  So Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, one year and one day later, became our wedding day.  To also “set the stage” for how we would celebrate Thanksgiving in the future, the Friday after Thanksgiving was always the day Oklahoma and Nebraska went head to head on the football field.  Because of that, the time of our wedding was held at 11:30 in the morning so our reception would be winding down by the time the two teams played.  With Jon working in the CU athletic department, we wanted Oklahoma to win which would mean CU would play in the Orange Bowl.  The end of our reception had moved in front of a TV set to watch Oklahoma win, so now we were also celebrating CU playing in the Orange Bowl for New Years. 

Fast forward to 1994 when CU moved from the Big 8 to the Big 12.  That now meant a CU vs. Nebraska match up on the Friday after Thanksgiving. Over these many years, football has meant we were either celebrating Thanksgiving in our home when the game was in Boulder, or we celebrated on Wednesday as Jon would be in Lincoln with the team.  As Jason and Elsa were older, we traveled to Lincoln, and we all ate our Thanksgiving dinner at the Cornhusker Hotel with other Buff fans.  And, yes, there were also times our anniversary did fall on Thanksgiving Day, so we had a double reason to celebrate.

There were five years, when Jason was a player at CU, that our Thanksgivings took on a whole new “look.”  If the game was here in Boulder, we had many football players and parents filling our home.  It was such a fun time with great food, great fellowship, much laughter, and many wonderful memories. 

Now our Thanksgiving plans vary from year to year.  Our children are married, and they have their own demands to juggle.  Jobs, basketball games, and needing to balance sharing time with in-laws come into play.  I must admit, that that was hard for me at first.  I love being surrounded by my children, grandchildren, family and friends.  Yet, I also had to remember… I was not available to spend time with either my family or Jon’s.  We were having to work around Jon’s job and rarely were available to have a Thanksgiving together with other family members. So now, I relish each time we get together no matter when that may be. 

Whatever your memories, traditions, and circumstances are this year; I am grateful for your friendship, the blessings you bring to my life, and all the memories we have shared.  Happy Thanksgiving to you and to your family this November 27^th, 2014!

What Does Your Paradise Look Like?

Darren Hardy, publisher and founding editor of Success magazine in the December 2014 issue titles his Publisher’s Letter “Dissatisfied?  How to Find Paradise.”  It’s an interesting question as I assume, no matter whether you’re 16 or 60+, at some time or another in your life, you questioned the life you were leading.  Maybe you envied the life your best friend had or you thought you’d be further ahead in your job, your finances, your relationships.  Maybe it appeared others had a “better life,” a more loving marriage, or you wished you didn't have to worry about money.  The “grass looked  greener on the other side.”  According to Hardy, “Every one of us desires Paradise.  The confusion of where to find Paradise is the problem.  The desire for Paradise is not itself a crime. Paradise is a choice.  It is a state of mind.  It comes from within.  Paradise doesn’t exist unless you create it and unless you choose it every day."

Are you spending your time looking at everyone else and comparing yourself?  Are you finding you spend a lot of time “wishing” you were back in time at a younger age, wishing you were doing something else, wishing you were with someone else? Etc. etc.  Or are you living in the present and focusing on all your blessings and gratitude?  Remember Jim Rohn’s words, “What you focus on expands.”  If you’re using other people’s lives as your definition of success or your paradise, chances are you are focusing on lack.  If you’re focusing on you, your successes, your gratitude’s then chances are you're focusing on abundance.

“Negative noise is everywhere in our society, but even more so it’s inside our heads,” according to Shawn Achor, a Harvard-trained researcher. “By emitting positive energy and canceling out that internal noise, you can get back the signal that leads to meaning, success, sustained happiness, and even a longer healthier life." Just like a few week’s ago, I asked you to come up with and write down your personal philosophy – what you want to stand for in all areas of your life.  If your personal philosophy is in place then your picture of paradise has already started to formulate.  It’s not comparing yourself to others, it’s all about YOU.  Zig Ziglar author of Born to Win: Find Your Success Code suggests more areas to consider for your paradise, your successful life.  How do these fit for you?

·       * At the end of the day, do you know and focus on that you did a great job?  The successes?

·        *Are there people in your life who love you and you love them in return?

·        *Financial security is often an area of worry and concern.  If your financial affairs are not in order, what actions are you taking to change it?  Are you moving forward and focusing on abundance or using excuses with no action and focusing on lack?

·        *Do you have the kind of faith that lets you know where to turn when there seems to be no place to turn?

·        *Work is only part of your day.  What brings you joy and peace?  An interest?  A hobby?

·        *Do you really know who YOU are?  It’s back to your personal philosophy once again.

·        *Are you making your health a priority, actively taking care of yourself, and waking up each day with a healthy mindset? 

·        *Do you end the day with a list of gratitude’s?

Are you actively creating and living your paradise?  Are you focusing on how unique and special you are?  Are you changing, learning, and growing daily so your paradise can change and grow too?  Amy Van Dyken Rouen could spend her days lamenting on the “if onlys” or “wishing” things were different.  My sister-in-law has every reason to “wish” things were different after her life threatening stroke.  We all know people who could spend time wishing, hoping, comparing themselves to others who seem to “have it all.”  We also know or know about those people who have every reason to live in the wishing mode or “if only” mode.  After all, we are human.  Yet, they choose to focus on moving forward.   The key question…what do you focus on?  Lack and self-pity or abundance and developing a paradise life for yourself?

Remember Darren Hardy’s words, “Paradise is a choice.  It is a state of mind.  It comes from within.  Paradise doesn’t exist unless you create it and unless you choose it every day.”  YOU are the only one who is control of YOU.  

Veterans' Day!

Today is Veterans’ Day.  We all have a little understanding of what this day represents, but as we are dealing more and more with the world in such turmoil, I wanted to know more about our country’s history and this day in particular.

First of all, there is a difference between Memorial Day and Veterans’ Day.  According to History.com, “Memorial Day (fourth Monday in May) honors American service members who died in service to our country or as a result of injuries incurred during battle.  Veterans’ Day, on the other hand, pays tribute to all American veterans-living or dead-but especially giving thanks to living veterans who have served our country honorably during war or peacetime.”

The origin of this holiday dates back to U.S. President Woodrow Wilson who proclaimed Armistice Day on November 11, 1919 marking the end of WWI. Armistice between Germany and the Allied nations ended WWI although the war didn’t have an official end until seven months later when the Treaty of Versailles was signed. Initially we “celebrated” with a two minute work stoppage at 11:00 am on November 11^th.  On June 4, 1926, Congress passed their own resolution asking then President Calvin Coolidge to issue a proclamation to observe November 11^th as a holiday designed to celebrate world peace and the end of WWI.  “In 1945, Birmingham veteran Raymond Weeks, a veteran of WWII, led a delegation to then Army Chief of Staff General Dwight Eisenhower to convince him to turn Armistice Day into a time to honor all those who served in the armed forces. Weeks led the first national celebration in Alabama in 1947 which he continued to do until his death in 1985.”   

The history of this day continued when Eisenhower, by then president, signed a bill into law in 1954.  Congress voted to change the name from Armistice Day to Veterans’ Day.  With the name change the date was also changed to the fourth Monday of October in 1971, however, in 1978, the date was changed back to its original November 11^th.  “Veterans’ Day is now observed on November 11^th, regardless of which day of the week the date falls.  Federal and state offices are closed on the day, as are most schools.”

As we observe yet another Veterans’ Day with many of our men and women continuing their service around the world, continuing to put themselves in harms way to serve our country and protect our freedoms, there are also many who are back here in the States recovering from both physical and emotional wounds.  Let us not forget to say thank you to those veterans but in addition to the spouses and children who have also had to make a sacrifice.  

Take time to express a voice of gratitude for all our men and women who continue to fight for the freedoms which we, often times, take for granted. What a wonderful opportunity to find a chance to give out random acts of kindness to these special members of the military and to their families.

Though this video speaks primarily about men, we all know there are a tremendous number of women who are also on active duty or are veterans.  The message is…let’s say Thank You, in some way, today!!

http://www.history.com/topics/holidays/history-of-veterans-day/videos/history-says-thanks

Here's to your physical health at any age!

If you don’t have your health, it is difficult to function on a daily basis no matter what age, and the “enemy” is inflammation.  It’s not just the athlete, but it’s the stressed mom with young children, it’s the single parent working several jobs to just put food on the table, it’s the professional doctor, teacher, CPA with high demands and expectations on their time who’s getting little beneficial sleep, it’s the main bread winner working full time but also going back to school at night, and, yes, even our young college students meeting the demands of all the assignments, projects, mid-terms, finals.  All of these examples are people with some level of inflammation. 

According to Dr. Lyndon McGill, chiropractor out of Salem, Oregon, “our bodies are bombarded with pro-inflammatory conditions.  Inflammation is a response; our bodies want to fight this invader.”  There are two types of inflammation.  The first is acute inflammation which is our body’s initial response to an injury or trauma and is a good thing, it can even be life-saving.  However the second type of inflammation is chronic inflammation.  This, on the other hand, is definitely a problem. Too many things are perpetuating this inflammatory response with the result being autoimmune diseases and more.  According to Dr. McGill, “so many people are headed toward dialysis because of the damage to the liver and kidneys due to medications such as prescription meds and over-the-counter anti-inflammatories.”   

Having dealt with rheumatoid arthritis since I was 36 and being on an injection of methotrexate once a week for over 13 years, I've definitely been concerned about the implications for my health long-term.  However, I’m also learning, there are a multitude of reasons our bodies, at ALL ages, are fighting inflammation.  It’s not just that sore shoulder or knee due to over use playing golf or tennis as a recreational sport.  It’s not just the former college/pro athlete who now, later in life, is “feeling the effects.”  It is EVERY ONE of us.  We are surrounded by challenges such as: chemicals in the environment, allergies, migraines, job-related stressors, lack of sleep, lack of good nutrition, high consumption of junk food and junk beverages, joint aches and pains, obesity, and the list goes on and on. 

With all that said, I want to introduce you to a product that has changed my life as well as many others.  Hear me out. DO NOT stop reading.  I am not someone who will bombard others “advertising” products, however, this one is changing lives, its proprietary, clean, and the focus is on reducing chronic inflammation.  What is it?  It’s a small beet capsule called Limitless.  Like a vitamin/mineral benefits us, this small capsule taken two times a day, preferably on an empty stomach serves to strengthen your body and how it functions.  Testimonials range from high school athletes, to my 87 year old mom, to former college and pro athletes, those of us concerned about aging, and also ob/gyn professionals, dentists, and even veterinarians. 

What makes this capsule so powerful?  It contains one ingredient which is a targeted concentration of pure beet root powder containing a superior source of betalain.  The patent-pending process to extract the betalain allows for the purity, zero calories, and zero sugar.  What are the benefits:  *fights fatigue   *fights free-radicals   *promotes joint health   *improves mental alertness   *promotes healthy aging   *reduces chronic inflammation     Did you know there is even a correlation between obesity and inflammation markers?  Not only is there more stress on the joints, but fat cells themselves cause a release of inflammatory markers around the fat cells creating an adverse environment to losing weight. 

The latest “buzz word” is beets.  Even Dr. Oz proclaims that red is the “new green.”  Whether you do or do not like beets will not be an issue as the capsule is tiny and easy to swallow.   In addition, you will receive the benefits of eating 500 beets to get the amount of betalain nutrition in only one Limitless capsule but NO sugar. 

Jon and I have been taking this product for almost two years now, and we will continue with Limitless as part of our daily routine just like taking our vitamin D3 tablet.  There is a 100% money back guarantee if you try this product for 84 days.   We are all about helping people be the best they can be physically and mentally in order to have a high quality of life, and it starts with acknowledging chronic inflammation is a huge problem for all of us at any age.

Here’s to a healthy week.  Message me back if you’d like more information about Limitless.  For those of you who are already taking Limitless, I celebrate your focus on your own health now and in the future!!

Is there an angel inside you?

Did you take some time this past week to sit down, in a quiet space, and write YOUR personal philosophy?   Granted, without small children demanding my time, I was able to actually find that quiet space.  Although for many of you, who do have those little ones needing you and pulling at your time demands, I would contend that THIS is important for not only you but those little ones.  Knowing yourself and what you believe in is going to be reflected in all that you do.  If you didn't get that chance this past week, take time this week.  

I found the process to be incredibly insightful with some things clear and others made my list that I hadn’t previously verbalized.  I knew, and I wrote it down, that I wanted to be a significant influence and role model especially to my children and grandchildren.  I wanted them to see me “walk my talk.”  The surprise was that I realized I have begun to only judge myself and my actions when I would ask myself the question, “Is this a reflection of God’s image?” That’s now on my list.  My day begins by reading my six principles along with all my gratitude’s.

For me, things are never by chance.  I am a true believer that everything happens for a reason and at the right time.  I may not always agree that the timing is right, but I do believe the timing is right according to God’s time.  I have just finished reading two extremely powerful books by Chris Widener.  The one I'm reflecting on today is called The Angel Inside.  “Coincidentally”, I read this book while reflecting on my personal philosophy.”  

Chris’s book is a book to read over and over again as I found many discoveries the first time through and even more the second.  His style is to weave a life lesson into a storyline that makes the reading easy and relatable.  “According to legend, when a young boy asked the great Renaissance artist Michelangelo why he was working so hard hitting the block of marble that would eventually become his greatest sculpture, David, the artist replied, ‘Young man, there is an angel inside this rock, and I am setting him free’…Chris Widener uses Michelangelo’s words to explore the hidden potential that exists within us all.”

As the story reveals the various lessons, readers begin to learn what Michelangelo’s  work can teach all of us – “the power of following your passion.”

Among the lessons learned include:

*The beauty is in the details

*Your hand creates what your mind conceives

*Every great accomplishment starts with a single swift action

*No one begins by creating the Sistine Chapel

If you want to find true meaning in your work and life, reading The Angel Inside will help you design your personal philosophy AND find that angel inside that is YOU.  Your assignment this week, if you choose to accept this challenge, is to read this book.  I would love to hear your thoughts and reflections.

 

It has been a glorious few weeks of fall here in Colorado.  Blue skies, cool mornings, in the 70’s during the day, and the trees still brilliant with color.  I wish you a fantastic week.

Do you have a personal philosophy?

Do you have a personal philosophy?  You probably do, however, until we can put words to what that is exactly, how can we proceed with purpose in our lives?  What generally happens is we think we know what we want, we set our goals and hopefully even write them down, and then we take action.  If we get a roadblock, or we sway from the original path, how will we find our way unless we understand our personal philosophy?  For me, I had an intrinsic feeling of what I was meant to do; however, it wasn't concrete in my mind.  After reading an excerpt from Dr. Phil last week, I began to think about my own personal philosophy.  What exactly is that philosophy?  What do I, as an individual, stand for?

“’The way you do anything is the way you do everything’ and how it applies to life,” became Dr. Phil’s personal philosophy.   Whether or not this resonates with you, take the premise that a personal philosophy is necessary, read these thoughts, and come up with a philosophy that fits YOU.  I recognize many of you will respond with such thoughts as:  Here we go, one more thing I'm supposed to do when I already don’t have time.  Is this really that important? I’m doing just fine, thank you very much.  I already know my personal philosophy; I know it but it’s hard to explain.”  Etc. etc.  I would suggest this may be one of THE most important activities you put on your “to do” list for this week.

“For many of us, the way we do anything is the way we do everything.”  Dr. Phil suggests taking a look at the areas of our lives that could use some improvement.  “Is your credit score the pits because you don't pay your bills on time?  Think about how that neglect could be showing up in your relationships.  Are you just going through the motions at work?  If so, chances are you're just going through the motions, period.  As I have learned, the good news is – it’s never too late to change no matter how small the change.  If anything is going to change it’s definitely up to me, and no one else.  As Darren Hardy repeatedly speaks to in his book, The Compound Effect, it’s the “principle of reaping huge rewards from a series of small, smart choices.”  It’s interesting to me that what both Darren Hardy and Dr. Phil are speaking to is that the individual steps along the way, don’t “feel” very significant but may have massive results.  It may be as simple as wanting to take better care of your health and lose a few pounds, but you realize you're snacking throughout the day.   “Once you pay attention to the things in your life that need tending, you'll make it a priority to tend to yourself.”

So how do I get started?  First of all, building on a personal philosophy to guide all areas of my life must be a priority.  That’s the foundation I now build everything on, and that foundation needs to be strong.  Next, I must come up with what’s really important to me.  I have to say that at age 62 it would be easy to “blow this self-development stuff” out the window.  I've “already lived my life” so why should I spend time on developing a personal philosophy now? According to Dr. Phil, “You have a philosophy, even if you're not conscious of it; everybody does….you need to be able to clearly articulate your own guiding principle.”  Hmmm, if that’s the case, I need to examine what it is that I stand for at this point in my life.  I still have a lot of living to do.  :)

In reflecting over my life, I have begun to see some patterns. With this nudge to articulate the things I have unconsciously based my life on to this point, I am now focusing on articulating those things on a conscious level.  After taking some time to think, reflect, and examine my actions, my feelings, my choices, etc. I am beginning to create a true path of focused awareness.  My personal philosophy has begun now on a conscious level.  Again from Dr. Phil, “The next step is to live by it with every choice you make.  After all, you don't become a champion by winning the Super Bowl; you become a champion by practicing.  And remember: If you don’t live your life as if everything matters, you’ll never become everything you’re meant to be.” 

You may be in your 20’s, 30’s or older.  You may be male or female; formally educated or not, single or married, parent or not…it doesn’t matter.  If you take the attitude that God has given you this life then I would propose that He is waiting for you to actively and consciously participate in your life.  No excuses.

These blogs have been my personal journey of learning and growing on a daily basis.  I come away with an even truer sense of who I am as a person and feel much more content with myself and my life.  I only hope that in reading these, YOU will gain YOUR own sense of who YOU are, that YOU will create YOUR own personal philosophy for YOUR journey in this beautiful life.

I wish you an awesome week of joy, reflection, and FUN!     

Our Greatest Battles

“The greatest battles you will ever fight are with yourself, and you must always be your toughest opponent.” 

Excuse.  Exactly what is the definition of the word excuse?  According to the dictionary; excuse is, “an attempt to lessen the blame, to seek to defend or justify; a reason or explanation put forward to defend or justify a fault or offense.”  How often do we “battle” within ourselves trying to justify or defend an action we took, a conversation we had that didn't go well, or a conflict etc. etc.?  How does that conversation go in your head?  I know, for me, my first tendency is to point the finger at someone or something else – an excuse, a justification for my actions or words.  But then again, Jim Rohn, says that for every finger pointing outward there are three pointing back.  Hmm.  My first “take” on my excuse or justification is I had a reason to react or respond in a particular way.  I don’t want others to think I’m weak, I need to be able to stand up for myself or people will take advantage of me, I should be better at getting my point across etc.  Sound familiar? Yes, a “battle” I fight within myself.

Maybe its age, but I also think a lot of my thought processing changes are due to personal development and learning more.  As I've written about before, situations are my own judgment and rather than putting a right/wrong or good/bad label on things I need to learn to accept others as they are, but also accept and celebrate ME for who I am.  Does that mean I give in and change my position?  Absolutely not.  Instead I can stand on my position and equally respect someone else’s position.  I may try to understand where they are coming from, but I don’t necessarily need to agree.  I did that for too many years.  I am naturally a people pleaser, and I did feel intimidated around some people and situations.  I am an intrinsic “feeler.”  I “know” when something doesn't feel “right.”  I don’t often have facts to back up my perception.  In the classroom, when I didn't think something was “right” with a student, but I couldn't identify the specifics, I would call in an incredible special needs team, and they would test or have another set of eyes.  99% of the time, I was right on, something was amiss.  Then we could move forward with a plan to support the student. 

It wasn't until I was out of the classroom and through some self-development workshops did I come to realize my strengths and be comfortable with them therefore, also becoming more comfortable with me.  My strengths are intrinsically “knowing” how people are feeling, I watch the nonverbal body language, I can “tell” when things are right or something is wrong. No specifics just a feeling. However, I grew up with a trial attorney father who relied on facts as that was his profession.  I was told my feelings didn't count, what were the facts?  I remember at age 16 telling him that I always felt like I was on the witness stand.  It was a new revelation for him, but as he said, that’s all he knew.  I can appreciate that now, but not at 16. 

Later in life, I would experience situations where people were quoting from a book or some documentation.  The facts and quotes “rolled off their tongue,” and all I had were my feelings on the subject.  I had also read and heard information but my strength was not to recall those facts but to interpret them in my intrinsic way.  I tried for many years to be like the others who were fact oriented, but I eventually got to the place where I didn't feel adequate, I couldn't “compete” on the same level, I wasn't smart enough, (internal talk) so I just wouldn't participate in discussions.   Here was my need to be accepted coming out “in spades” as well as my conflict avoidance.  At one point, I did think two people should be able to agree to disagree, we could meet in the middle, respecting one another’s opinions/views and move on. That may be the case for some people; however, for me I was met with the “fact people” not “hearing” my thoughts and opinions. Their focus was only to convince me to their way of thinking, through facts, and deny my feelings. 

So what has changed for me?  First and foremost, I now embrace who I am, what my skill set is, and celebrate other’s strengths that are different than mine.  I did use excuses before.  I did try to justify my actions. But that was without really understanding what the differences were and how I was and am a valuable person in my own right.  I learned to listen, to acknowledge and celebrate someone else’s thoughts and views different than my own, thank them for those thoughts and views, but now add, I don’t happen to agree and that’s ok.”  I learned to use the “broken record” strategy with my adult conversations just like I had used the “broken record” when talking with my children or my students.  I quit trying to convince someone that my way was the right way.  When I was doing that, I was essentially doing what I complained others were doing to me. I am much better now at accepting differences, letting those differences just “be” and avoid convincing someone that I have all the answers.  I can share my experiences, hope there is something that will resonant with them, but that’s all I have control over - me .  I come away with an even truer sense of who I am as a person and feel much more content with myself and my life.  Comparisons are still difficult, self-judgment is still there, but the difference is I now recognize those thoughts and can let them go.  (Thank you, once again, Jim Britt.)

So yes, “The greatest battles you will ever fight are with yourself, and you must always be your toughest opponent.”   That's also called growth.  

This blog began after reading an excerpt from Dr. Phil about the “first steps to making meaningful change in your life.”  That’s for next week.  Thank you for reading my blogs, I hope I give you something to think about and reflect on in your life, and always welcome your feedback.  It’s a beautiful fall day, and I’m feeling extremely blessed.  Have a wonderful week.