Humility, Hunger, Hustle

Last week, I wished you a week of observation. What did you see and hear from people in this generation? In your opinion, how are these young people impacting our world both in a positive way and in a way that we may question. I also asked that you pay attention to YOUR words. Remember, words contain tremendous power. My hope is that these questions of reflection for the week may be a point of awareness and “ah ha” moments for you.

In continuing with the ideas and thoughts from the sermon I heard a couple weeks ago, this week I wanted to go into more detail about not only the millennials but also part of our own development as we get older.

We spend a lot of time in our 20’s and 30’s trying to figure out our purpose in life; what is God calling me to do? Maybe, according to Heather in her sermon, the real question is, “Who does God want me to become?” What if we focus our time, effort, and energy on developing our character? She refers to three areas to look at in more detail; humility, hunger, and hustle.

Humility. According to Heather, this does not mean to have low self-esteem. What it does mean is to have an accurate level of self-esteem. Each of us needs to take an accurate view of ourselves NOT trying to be someone we are not and not downplaying who we are. It’s not thinking less of ourselves it’s thinking of ourselves less. Read that last line again. It’s powerful…It’s not thinking less of ourselves, it’s thinking of ourselves less.

How often have you compared yourself to others, thought less of yourself because you didn’t have some of the skill sets others had which you admired? That’s part of that journey in our 20’s and 30’s where we are constantly comparing ourselves and feeling less. Focusing on our own feeling of self- worth and where our particular strengths may be is a different mindset and would move us forward in a positive way on our life journey.

That issue of self-esteem seems to be an issue throughout all of life but it takes a different form in each decade. Why do we need the acceptance of others to feel that our life has value? What if we had the mindset that that we are here on earth with a journey that God has planned, and we are a valuable human being?

Hunger. This addresses the question of “Where am I going?” Heather suggests that we be an example for others to follow, and we need to be in offense with our life. “The trick is to play offense without giving into offense.” In other words, we need to move forward taking control in a positive way versus lowering our behavior, words, actions to an offensive level. She cautions millennials, in particular, to not give in to every difficulty, not give in to every barrier, every lost opportunity. There is the impression that millennials lack a strong work ethic, they give up when the going gets tough, and they don’t know how to handle disappointment.

“Some of you have not been paid what you are worth, you haven’t gotten the promotion or the opportunity that you may deserve simply because someone thinks you are too young.” This is not new and not reserved just for the millennials. We all had that same barrier to cross at some point early in our careers. It really comes down to learning and growing with each situation both positive and challenging versus using these barriers as an excuse without taking any responsibility for what is happening.

The challenge for all young people is to “keep your head down and walk with humility.” Learn all you can to be better at the job you are doing. With the right mindset, there is learning in every situation. There is no learning if you quit.

“What if you thought about these not as setbacks? It may be that you need to recognize that you have been given a small stage and dim spotlight right now so you can take risks, make mistakes, and experience some colossal failures when no one is watching. It’s a lot better to fail in your 20’s when no one is watching versus in your 40’s and 50’s and the world is watching.” Heather suggests that “anonymity can be an incredible blessing in your 20’s, so take advantage of it.” I love her perspective.

Hustle. This refers to, “How am I going to get there?” I love watching the young people who show up early, they go past the “normal” expectations, they go that extra mile, they do the extra things, they do things that no one else is willing to do and all without demanding to be seen or demanding to be rewarded/recognized. Have you seen this in the young people around you?

Entitlement is a people issue but seems to be quite prevalent with millennials. How do we get past that? Gratitude will always kill entitlement. Curiosity, service, communication etc. will all kill entitlement. We need to be present, make the most of every opportunity, and live in wisdom.

I think “living in wisdom” refers to the fact that some things are not necessarily wrong but may not be wise. We all need to get in the habit of asking ourselves more questions, “Is it wise to spend my time with people who are not studying, who are only partying all weekend? Is it wise to make a specific purchase knowing that I don’t have the money? Is it wise to be in a relationship with someone who’s turning me into a bad version of myself? Is it wise to get into a relationship with someone who doesn’t share my values? Is it wise to go to that party where I know alcohol and drugs are going to be there, and I’m an athlete on scholarship?” The point here is to “walk in wisdom.” We all can be an example, at any age, of how to live life walking in wisdom. It’s asking ourselves the tough questions and being willing to accept the tougher answer rather than the “easy way out.”

I wish you a week of reflection on how you are living your life through these three areas: humility, hunger, and hustle. 

Who Are the Millennials?

Last week, I wished you a week of reflection on whether or not your personal and/or work environment is holding you back. If the answer was yes, did you check the list of 10 and see which areas are in your control to make the environment a positive one? What did you learn about your environment? Did you decide to take action on making a change? If so, what specifically did you decide to do?

Thanks to my niece, Jessica, I listened to a 30 minute podcast from Heather Zempel one of several preachers from the DC area. Jess lived in DC for a couple years and happened on the church which was housed in a movie theater on Sunday mornings. After moving back to Wichita, she was searching for a similar experience. Not finding what she was looking for, she tuned into these podcasts. After listening to one, she sent the link on to me. POWERFUL!

So, thank you, Jess, for adding to my learning and growing each day. I hope to share some of these ideas through my blogs over the next two weeks.

Many of you are aware of the book iY Generation which I have referenced many times. This particular podcast focuses on millennials. We all have people in our lives in their 20’s whether it be a relative, an employee, a student, an athlete, or a friend. Take a look at a snapshot of the various generations as an overview:

Traditionalists: born before 1945

·       WWI, WWII, Depression

·       Called the Greatest Generation

·       Strong work ethic

Baby Boomers: 1946-1964

·       Went through critical times in history

o   Civil Rights Movement

o   Woodstock

o   Vietnam War

o   Watergate

Generation X: 1965-1980

·       Atari MTV, Aids Crisis, Missing children on the milk boxes at school lunches

·       Respond to everything in our culture either with cynicism or parody

Rise of the Millennials: 1980 – 2000 Largest generation today

·       Saw things like: Columbine, Y2K, explosion of the spaceship Challenger, Sept. 11^th

·       These all drastically changed their world

·       First generation to see social media and technology define so much of their lives

·       Technology is NOT a second language – they are natives

In Time magazine, an article was written about the generation that had trouble making decisions, they’d rather climb the Himalayas rather than the corporate ladder, they had no style to call their own, they crave entertainment but their attention span is short, they avoid marriage because they dread divorce, and sneer at Range rovers, Rolex watches, and red suspenders.

It goes on in the articles to say that this generation holds dear to family life, national parks, mountain bikes, possess a hazy sense of their own identity but seem to have a monumental preoccupation of all the problems preceding their generation that they will need to fix.

When I first heard these descriptions, I was sure the article was talking about the Millennials. However, that’s not the case. The Time magazine article was written in 1990 and was referring to Generation X!!  WOW. 

I think this brings up a point that Heather had in her sermon. “We need to all be careful not to confuse what’s true of a specific generation with what is just true of a certain age.”

So, what are the distinctions that make millennials unique:

1.    First generation to get participation medals for just participating

2.    They’ve always gotten a toy in their kid meals

3.    They’ve had instant connection and information at their fingertips

4.    They’ve never had to ask a preceding generation how to do something because they just Google it. (This has caused fracturing of the generations.)

5.    They’ve become accustomed to “leveling up” when they master a certain skill. (I was blown away by this realizing the connection that this has had in their lives especially once in a job.)

We need to all realize and understand that these young people are a product of the culture we handed them. Words like lazy, entitled, and privileged are oftentimes thrown out to describe this age group. Obviously, this is not true of every one of them so we need to be careful with our labels.

As this part of the sermon continued, Heather related a conversation when asked about which movies she watched over and over as a kid. She didn’t have a quick response since her family didn’t have a DVR until she was in the 5^th grade. Today, kids can watch their favorite cartoon, show etc. any time they want and as many times as they want – much to the chagrin of their parents and grandparents. “Life on demand.”

I will add that in the iY Generation book, Tim Elmore separates the millennials into two groups those born in the 80’s from those born in the 90’s. It’s those in the 90’s who are more apt to exhibit the above characteristics that I’m referencing. A few other descriptions to help you “get the picture” of this generation:

·       Doing things as a “tribe” is important

·       Where’s my prize? It’s expected to “level up” when a skill is mastered. (Showing itself in millennials expecting to start as a manager and not have to work their way up or that a raise is expected when skills are mastered.)

·       Email is snail mail

·       Communication and technology are linked

·       They are passionate and are out to change the world; they want to make a difference

 (That’s also an age thing not just this generation)

Heather, in her sermon, referred to Paul talking to Timothy, “Don’t give people any room to disrespect you – be an example.” In Heather’s words, examples are referring to patterns. Timothy was told to establish good patterns in his life so his life would become a pattern for others to follow…what you say, how you live, your love, your faith etc.

“Be an example in what you say, speak intelligently. Being an example means elevating your language. The Bible talks about not using foul or abusive language. ‘Let everything you say be good and helpful so words will be an encouragement for those who hear them.” Words contain tremendous power to either build up or tear down. Words can either breathe life or breathe destruction.”

This week I wish you a week of observation. What are you seeing and hearing from this generation? How are these young people impacting our world both in a positive way and in a way that we may question.

In addition, I wish you a week of reflecting on YOUR words. Remember, words contain tremendous power.

Next week will be a continuation of this topic and my thoughts.

Is Your Environment Holding You Back?

Last week I wished you a week of challenging yourself to do two things (1) begin a new reading regiment with the focus on expanding your world through personal development and (2) put the words of wisdom from Coach Mac on a card and read it each day for the next week. How did you do?

John Maxwell is one of my favorite authors and speakers. I recently read something of his that caught my attention. “Is your environment holding you back?” Hmmm…that’s an interesting question. Are you living or working in an environment that’s conducive to growth? Or are you living/working in an environment where growth is not only ignored but is discouraged?

One of John’s many talents is his ability to put together lists which support the point he is making and translates easily to the learner. The question here is whether or not the environment we live and/or work in is conducive to growth and what does a growth environment look like.

Maxwell’s list of characteristics are: (1) Others are ahead of you, (2) You’re continually challenged, (3) Your focus is forward, (4) The atmosphere is affirming, (5) You’re often out of your comfort zone, (6) You wake up excited, (7) Failure is not your enemy, (8) Others are growing, (9) People desire change, and (10) Growth is modeled and expected.

Others are ahead of you. Maxwell contends that we grow faster with others versus being isolated. “At least some people in your working environment are ahead of you on your journey and can be your encourager, challenger, or mentor to do more than you think you can do.” 

I know I definitely was better and stronger as a teacher when I was working on a positive team versus by myself. The key is we need to have those mentors who are there to help and support us in our growth. I was also, in unhealthy team situations where my team partner was all about being the “top dog” and competing versus working together. It was definitely an environment that was holding me back. I grew to understand more about healthy teams and navigated to those vs. the competitive ones.

Are you continually challenged? Are you growing and changing as you get older in both your home life and in your professional life? Continual growth is when we are at our best. When was the last time a boring relationship or a boring job made you want to grow? Isn’t that a part of Being the Best You that You Can Be? After 40 years of marriage there’s been a tremendous amount of growth and that growth was also true in my 30 years of teaching.

Looking back I realize I was always looking for more current information, or information on a topic I needed to learn more about.

When I was out of the classroom for three years I was part of a Professional Development team. We were constantly learning, growing, and preparing classes for not only teachers but administrators, School Board Members, secretaries etc. Those three years were years of continuous growth, continuous learning from many more “seasoned” teachers and administrators.

According to Maxwell, being out of your comfort zone is part of that environment. “Stay in your strength zone but be out of your comfort zone. The skills you focus on growing should be in areas of your natural abilities versus shoring up your weaknesses. You get out of your comfort zone when you take on a challenge that’s bigger than you. Bigger challenges yield bigger rewards.” Strengths versus comfort. That’s an interesting concept. Do you agree or not? Every time I moved to a new school or I was in the staff development job I was definitely out of my comfort zone but still doing what I loved.

Think about your personal life. There needs to be learning and growing there as well. Relationships in a marriage or a living situation involves people and people mean differences and a need for continual communication. One of my favorite books that I give to most newlyweds is the book The Five Love Languages. If you haven’t read it, add it to your book list. If you are a parent you probably bought every book you could find on pregnancy and raising healthy children. As they get older you find other material to learn about a particular age group such as toddlers, pre-teens, teens etc. 

I look over John’s list and I totally believe in the fact that waking up excited is a key component to a healthy environment and a healthy attitude. Yes, there were days of frustration and sometimes even feeling as though I was on a plateau and stuck. But, those are all signs to pay attention to and make something happen to achieve change and more growth.

Failure is not your enemy nor mine. When something happens either in your personal life or business life, it’s really a time to focus on solutions NOT blame. A growth environment gives us permission to make mistakes and admit those mistakes. Failure is a big part of growth. It is NOT something we need to fear. 

For our math classes, I taught those that had a harder time with math, probably because I did too. We actually had celebrations when the students made mistakes and then learned from that mistake. There are a lot of examples of people who are successful today but had failure after failure in order to reach that success.

Change is encouraged and celebrated in growth environments. If you’re a parent, do you remember that first time when you brought your baby home? Life definitely changed and you adjusted. You were much better at parenting and knowing what to expect if you had a second child. At work, I was fortunate enough to work for a principal, my last 15 years, who celebrated teachers who tried new things, who were willing to get out of their comfort zone to be a better teacher. That was a school and an environment that definitely celebrated a growth environment.

So the question is, “What kind of environment are you in?” Are you in a relationship that nurtures and encourages personal growth? Are both of you pushing forward to be a better person, a better spouse, a better friend? Check out the list of 10 and compare how many of these are true in your relationship. What do you want to continue and where is there need for improvement?

If you’re a parent, do you nurture and encourage personal growth and learning in your children? This list of 10 can be applied to parenting too. You will give your children a gift that they’ll use the rest of their lives.

Personal growth is challenging and involves making mistakes and having failures. A good environment makes it easier to grow. Whether you’re in a good environment or not, you can learn and improve where you are. That IS in your control. Use Maxwells’ list to guide you.

I wish you a week of reflection on whether or not your personal and/or work environment is holding you back. If the answer is yes, check the list of 10 and see which areas are in your control to make the environment a positive one.

Good, Better, Best

Last week I wished you a week of reflecting on your own personal MINDSET. Are you growing and moving forward or are you stuck? Once again, “what you focus on expands. MINDSET. What did you learn about yourself and your MINDSET?

What book are you reading or listening to on audio right now? What are you filling your mind with each day? We seem to be inundated with “stuff” from social media to biased media coverage, to a lot of negativity throughout the day, so it’s our job to make sure we’re putting in “good stuff” to be able to live that life we’re meant to live.

If you’re in the car for a longer commute it’s easy to get books on tape or on your phone. If you like to read but never seem to have enough time or fall asleep as soon as you sit down, try a goal of reading just four pages to begin. You will be amazed at what the rest of your day will be like if you start your day putting in positive or you end your day filling your brain with positive before you fall asleep.

This was a great week spending time with a dear friend over coffee/lunch being able to catch up and also have an open and honest conversation on a variety of topics. Jon and I had dinner with friends and also had open and honest conversations on a variety of topics. Then we met up with two high school friends who happened to be in town – once again having special time with open and honest conversations on a variety of topics.

Each encounter this week left me feeling blessed that I had opportunities for great conversations, differing views were accepted with respect, and I came away learning something new. I felt uplifted, blessed, and invigorated.

As Jon Gordon says in his book, The Energy Bus, we are each the driver of our own bus. We are in control of what we focus on, we are in control of what we think about, and we are in control of how we handle situations. Do you look at each challenge as temporary and a chance to learn from it? Do you trust that the lessons you learn along this journey of life will make you stronger, wiser, and better? Do you figure out the lesson from each challenge?

I would challenge you to take time each day to reflect on how you are a better YOU today. It’s important to understand that we can either go through life on autopilot, or we can go through life present and mindful that learning and growing is key to being a better YOU at any age.

Thanks to a dear friend, Mark McIntosh, who writes his thoughts each week shared these encouraging words from Coach Mac, former CU head football coach:

“Good, better, and best; never let it rest until your good is better and your better is best.”

What a great mantra to have each day in all we do.

I wish you a week of challenging yourself to do two things (1) begin a new reading regiment with the focus on expanding your world through personal development and (2) put the above words of wisdom from Coach Mac on a card and read it each day for the next week.