What's On Your Adult Christmas List?

Last week, I wished you a week of reflection, peace, and observation. I hope you are making yourself a priority and getting in some personal, quiet time!

Two things caught my attention this week. First, we ask the kids to make up their list for Santa. What about an adult list? Second, I heard Tim McGraw’s song, “Always Stay Humble and Kind.” With these two in my head, here are my thoughts for the week.

If you haven’t heard Tim McGraw’s song, the gist is what actions to take to always stay humble and kind. Some of his references are:

         Visit Grandpa and Grandma every chance you can - it won’t be a waste of time.

         Hold the door.

         Say please and thank you.

         Don’t lie, cheat, or steal.

         When work put in is realized, let yourself feel pride.

         Don’t expect a free ride from anyone.

         Don’t hold a grudge or have a chip on your shoulder as bitterness keeps you from       flying.

         Know the difference between sleeping with someone and sleeping with someone you love.

         Don’t take for granted the love this life gives you.

         When you get where you’re going, don’t forget to look back and help the next one in line.

         And always remember to stay humble and kind.

With this song in mind, I started to develop my own adult Christmas list remembering to always stay humble and kind.

Dear Santa,

This is what I want for this Christmas season and for 2018:

         Continue with my good health. I promise to continue working out at least six days a week.

         More special times with my 90 year old mom especially sharing stories of when she       was little.

Continue my experiences with all 7 of our grandchildren and pictures to commemorate our times together!

         Continue my daily gratitude for each day spent with Jon.

         Enjoy each beautiful sunrise and sunset, never taking it for granted.

Continue to be appreciative for the little things – making sure please and thank you are always a part of my appreciation.

To always enjoy each moment, to be present and not miss what is happening.

To spend more time reflecting on what I need to do to be a better person for me – not comparing myself to others.

Continue to read at least one book a month.

Continue to look for ways to make life better for someone else each day.

Continue to learn and grow in my physical, emotional, and spiritual life.

Continue to smile, have sincere conversations with friends and family without any phone interruptions.

Continue to look for information and be informed based on facts not what is being construed as fact on social media.

Continue to support and encourage our WorldVentures team in all they are doing to build their own business. 

Always remember the true meaning of Christmas – to keep Christ in Christmas.

Keep this feeling of positive, loving, grateful, and healthy attitude each day throughout the year.

I wish you a week of enjoying your family and friends. I will not be posting a blog on the 26^th, as I also plan to be enjoying my family.

Merry Christmas to each of you. I appreciate your friendship throughout the year.

          

        

        

Does Your Life Reflect Your Values?

Last week I wished you a week of reflecting on your priorities for the rest of this holiday season and for the priorities you set for yourself to guide you in your thoughts and actions throughout this holiday. How are you doing? Have you allowed time for yourself to truly enjoy being present and taking in each moment? OR are you telling yourself the same thing you tell yourself every year…I’ll do that next year.

There are times it’s very difficult to be positive when there is so much divisiveness in our world. You can’t read a newspaper, turn on the news, or turn on the radio when you aren’t hearing the anger and frustration people are venting. I’m reading an article about “The Problem of Identity Politics and Its Solution,” which is fascinating. In my opinion, we are more divided along racial, ethnic, gender, and religious lines than at any other time I can remember.

The colleges and universities, businesses etc. want us to be identified as belonging to a specific group, the media breaks down the demographics in specific groups, the entertainment world does the same. If we disagree with a particular line of thinking, we’re called “racist” or “homophobic” or “misogynist” etc. More labels. It’s not acceptable to have differing viewpoints. 

Even during this holiday season, we are bombarded with what is and isn't acceptable. What? According to who? 

I live in Boulder and Boulder has always been known to others in Colorado as more “out there” and “doing its own thing.” It’s often referred to as the “Republic of Boulder.” There’s definitely some truth to that and like anything else there are the pluses and minuses. Yet, I see the “group think” much more prevalent in this area than what I remember when I moved here 42+ years ago.

Yet, then I go to Ulysses, Kansas or Okawville, Illinois and I see the small, Midwest towns that continue to have the values I remember growing up with in Iowa. Okawville has their yearly Wheat Festival with a parade, carnival, and families young and old gather in the park. There are USA flags waving, the police, fire and first responders are all part of the parade being cheered as they drive down main street.

There are school programs, during the holidays, that sing Christmas carols and have  Christmas decorations on display. The national anthem is played at all sporting events and people stand with their hand over their hearts and caps are removed. Young children are taught to stop and pay attention.

These are hard working families that depend on the land for their livelihood. These are families; young and old, that aren’t spending their days worried about what name should go on the bathroom doors. These are people celebrating our country’s history and working to make life better for each person no matter their race or religion. These communities don’t think twice that a Nativity scene is on the front lawn of the Court House. There is a definite, true sense of community.

I say all this because I’m making it my own personal mission, to stay in touch with the values I grew up with and the values I see my children have passed on to my grandchildren. A key value is what God has taught all of us which is “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” Those values, for me, include saying Merry Christmas to the clerk checking me out at the grocery store or the barista making my coffee. Those values also include personal relationship time. That may be having coffee to catch up, enjoying time with family and friends without cell phones ringing. It’s those times playing games, putting together puzzles, making fudge or holiday goodies together because it’s the conversations that happen doing those activities that are so memorable.

It’s also my personal mission to pay attention to my environment. I “hide” anything on my FB or Twitter pages that have any negative political commentary and definitely there can be NO foul language. If I want a political conversation I will talk with you one on one. There is a definite difference in areas of our country and what people believe. That’s always been the case, however, it’s much more apparent because of the media, entertainment world, social media, and the identity politics. Instead of conversations, we seem to be far more into name calling, threats, and fear mongering. 

I hope and pray that you will take a sincere and realistic view of your life this past year. Each year we talk about doing things differently. Each year we make new resolutions for a change in our health, finances, relationships etc. I hope that also will include asking yourself if you're leading the life that God has created for you or are outside influences taking control of what you think and your actions? Have you been caught up in "group think" at work? in your social group? in your church group? in your politics? 

“Change can be scary, but you know what is even scarier? It’s allowing FEAR to stop you from GROWING, EVOLVING, and PROGRESSING.” It's the "group think" that has more control over you than knowing what is really The Best You.

It’s December 12^th, 2017. There are 13 days until Christmas and 19 days until New Year’s Eve. At that time another year has passed by. My prayer for you, no matter your age, is that you will take stock in what is important to you in ALL areas of your life, and you will make changes where changes are needed. Life is way too short. I pray you do not have another year of same old-same old because you “don’t have time.”

I pray for you to have gratitude in your heart and that you rise above the negativity and hate which can be overwhelming. A great quote I read recently said, 

“Positive thinking is not expecting the best all the time but accepting whatever happens is the best for the moment.”

I wish you a week of reflection, peace, and observation.

Tis the Season to Be Jolly - REALLY?

Last week, I wished you a week of deciding your PRIORITIES for this holiday season. The goal is to make a difference for yourself THIS year! This first step could be what “winning in life” means to you through your ACTIONS! What will you list as all your successes come January 1^st, 2018?

21 days of a consistent behavior done repeatedly each day will create a habit. Three weeks ago, I challenged you to take on an attitude of GRATITUDE. How many of you took that challenge? I’d love to hear your thoughts and reflections. Each day I read my niece Kelly’s gratitude for the day as she posts it on Facebook. Good way for accountability. She’s been doing this for over a year…do you think she could ever stop now? NO WAY! It’s beyond a habit. Now it’s a part of her daily routine.

Gratitude is a powerful mindset. It’s also a way of keeping us observant and sensitive to all that is good versus the negative. Unfortunately, that negative voice seems to be the loudest, and we seem to listen to it more. NOT, however, if you have a grateful mindset that is a habit.

This week, I want to reference a commencement address that Brian Dyson, CEO of Coca Cola gave several years ago yet applies even today -  especially during this holiday season.

“Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them work, family, health, friends, and spirit – and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – family, health, friends, and spirit – are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.”

Remember that word BALANCE? Even during the next few weeks with all that is on our plate to be ready for the holiday, the word BALANCE is even more challenging than usual. Yet, it’s also THE most important word to keep in mind especially now.

Here are a few suggestions on how you might BALANCE things this holiday season and beyond:

1.    Avoid comparing yourself to others. This only undermines your own sense of self-worth. It’s ok to have store bought cookies at a cookie exchange.

2.    Set goals that work for you NOT what others deem important. You are the only one who knows what is best for you. Be careful when you’re finding what others are saying does not coincide with YOUR goals.

3.    Avoid taking for granted what is closest to your heart. That includes family, friends, your home, your children etc. Are your actions reflecting your priorities?

4.    Live your life one day at a time! Be present and enjoy each moment. That means not going through your “to do” list in your head while you’re “listening” to your child’s music program.

5.    Haven’t we all heard,”I don’t remember what I got for Christmas, but I do remember the memories and experiences we created together?” Keep that in mind when you’re shopping and stressing out about finding THE perfect gift.

6.    Give yourself permission to be late in sending out Christmas cards if that is a stressor for you. I remember sending them out in July when I was teaching and people loved it. I got more responses since people had time to sit down and read my letter.

7.    Keep in mind that a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated. That might be a tip or special food item for your mail carrier, beautician, milkman etc.

8.    Even the UPS and FedEx guys/gals who work long hours and days during this season could use a few smiles of appreciation. It could be as simple as opening the door and saying thank you when they bring the packages or a gift certificate for coffee/tea.

9.    The easiest way to show appreciation is to have a constant mindset of patience, a smile, and a thank you when in a long line, on the phone, in a crowd or in traffic.

10. Remember EVERYONE is busy and EVERYONE has their own TO DO list. Yours isn’t THE most important. 

Be ok with saying NO to something that will not add value to your goals and desires for the holiday season.

11. LET GO of having everything perfect! YOU will be the only one who notices. What people WILL notice is if you’re stressed out, short tempered, and frowning.

12. Remember the TRUE meaning of Christmas or Hanukah.

13. Take 15 minutes of quiet time every day! Surround yourself with music that you love and relaxes you, read from an uplifting book, or just sit and “be.”

What will you think and feel after this holiday season on January 2^nd 2018? Will you be exhausted, worried about how you’ll pay the bills that are already coming in, and “swear” that you’ll do things differently next year? OR will you have beautiful memories of the people and the fun times together, you stayed within the budget you set, and you’re feeling pleased with how everything went this season?

I wish you a week of reflecting on your priorities for the rest of this holiday season and for the priorities you set for yourself to guide you in your thoughts and actions throughout this holiday.

WINNING in Life Part 2

Last week I wished you a week to reflect on the question, "What does winning in life" mean to you? Though I’m sure it was busy, I hope you were able to find some quiet reflection time.

The hustle and bustle of the holidays is officially in full swing. Black Friday, Cyber Monday, Giving Tuesday and Christmas is 29 days away. The “To Do” list keeps getting longer, there are school programs to attend, church programs to attend, parties, baking, cards to get out etc. etc. etc. What’s your mindset right now?

Are you going into this holiday season in the same place as you were last year? Dreading the financial burden? Feeling stressed out which translates into being short tempered especially with the kids as they ramp up? If everything feels like a “must do” rather than a “get to” then why are you doing some of the things you’re doing?

Your “winning in life” goals will tell you if you’re in alignment with your body, soul, and spirit. Maybe this is the year you PRIORITIZE that “To Do” list and some things just don’t need to get done.

In Chris Widener’s article, once you have defined what “winning in life” means to you, the second step is to PRIORITIZE. If you are truly PRIORITIZING, you must let other, non-important areas drop off your list. Commitment to developing a plan to succeed in a balance of areas in your life is the ultimate goal. So why not start now with THIS holiday season? Take that first step!

“When we manage our time and schedule, we are simply making choices in regard to our PRIORITIES.” Our tendency, however, is to do whatever is the most fun and procrastinate on the “not so fun” things, or we take action on what is “screaming” the loudest at the moment which eliminates any kind of PRIORITIZING.

According to Widener, “Winners reflect on what they desire to achieve, make a plan, and decide to eliminate the rest.” Once again, it comes back to having defined FIRST what it is that we want our successful life to look like. That also means, we must be willing to go against what others think our priorities should be. Are you into the “keeping up with the Joneses?” or what your mother-in-law thinks you should be doing? or are you trying to be “Super Woman?” 

When this holiday season is over and 2018 begins, where will YOU be? Right back in the same place as 2017 with changing still a goal without action behind it? (That's really only a wish, you know.) 

Or are your actions showing you have spent 2017 PRIORITIZING where you spend your time, and you are in a different place financially, with your health etc.? Most research states that only about 5% of people are willing to change. The majority of people don’t like change and are more comfortable blaming, complaining, or defending their actions.

Until you know what you want in your life, until you PRIORITIZE those actions in all areas of your life, there will be NO change. Widener states that the last step is to DO IT! That’s the hard part. “This is where we are all alone. We all make this step on our own, but having a written plan is as good a preparation as you can get.”

Will Rogers said, “Even if you’re on the right track, you won’t get anywhere if you’re standing still. There has got to be ACTION.”

I wish you a week of deciding your PRIORITIES for this holiday season. What will you list as all your successes during this past holiday season on January 2^nd, 2018? Make a difference for yourself THIS year! Begin what “winning in life” means to you through your ACTIONS!

WINNING in Life

Last week, I wished you a week of starting each day with a grateful heart. I hope you either used the list I posted or you came up with your own action list. Did you agree you’d commit to a 21-day action plan to change your occasional actions into life time habits beginning with Gratitude?

I addition, I hope you’ve been able to dedicate some of your time to reading a new book each month. That’s a wonderful way to continuously learn and grow!

Recently, I came across an article by Chris Widener “Insights to Influence.” There were many points which resonated with me, and I want to share, in my blogs, for the next two weeks.

I think we’d all agree that we’d like to be considered a winner rather than a loser in life. That begs the question, “What does it mean to win in life?” Going to sporting events it’s easy to define a winner or loser just by the score. Even playing Old Maid, there’s a winner or a loser. Deciding what it means to win in life is much more challenging!

Defining what it means to win in life isn’t quite as easy. Would you agree? For some, winning may be the accumulation of money and possessions. Others it might be longevity or their health or even what they consider a happy family. For my own thinking, I can’t focus on just one area. It seems to me that to succeed or win in life includes several areas.

According to Widener, “To truly win, to be a success, is not to overachieve in one area, but to maintain balanced achievement in all areas of life.” We’ve all seen the mega stars making multiple millions yet have addiction issues. Or we see those with a title in a large corporation making lots of money yet have no time for their family.

Where are you in your life? Do you feel you have things in balance or are you more focused in one area?

Obviously, we can’t answer the question if we haven’t taken time to DEFINE what our definition of “winning in life” means to us personally. As you begin, Chris Widener recommends we focus on three main areas: Body, Soul, and Spirit.

For this “assignment,” consider Body as the connection with the physical world; physical health, financial health, family, work, and relationships. How would you define winning in these areas?

Consider Soul which deals with emotions, will, and intellect. In other words, it’s our thoughts, ideas, and attitudes.

Consider Spirit as the part of us that transcends life – the part that communes with God. Inner peace. Zig Ziglar said, “Money will buy me a house, but not a home; a bed, but not a good night’s sleep.”

“What does winning in life mean to you?” is a deep question and one that takes a committed time of quiet and reflection to really determine your beliefs. Before we go into the second step, I’m stopping here for this week. Yes, we have the holidays coming up and lots of things going on yet, this is also one of the best times for this reflection. It’s time we spend with family, it usually involves our finances, and we are continually challenged with our priorities. In addition, we are only about 7 weeks away from the end of 2017. Now is a great time to reflect over the past 10 months and reflection on whether or not we’ve been able to make 2017 different than 2018.

Happy Thanksgiving, and I wish you a week of reflection on the question,

“What does winning in life mean to you?”

Life is Fragile

Last week I wished you a week of reflection. I hope you took time to examine areas of your life you may feel you’ve neglected or areas of your life you know you didn’t give your all. In today’s world we are challenged to take a hard look at life and how we’re spending our days.

Be grateful for the gift of today. That can’t be said enough especially when you see how swiftly life can be taken away. Whether it’s the horrible events in NY City, Vegas, and now Sutherland Springs, or it’s a drug overdose, a drunk driver killing innocent people, loss of a military family member or friend being killed in battle etc. etc., it seems we’ll take a few hours, maybe even a few days to feel sad. Yet, our lives go on and in a relatively short period of time we push the “lesson” back into our memory. Life goes on with little regard to the fact that these horrific life changing situations can happen to any of us.

What’s our challenge? The challenge is to develop a heart and voice of gratitude EACH AND EVERY DAY. It’s easy to focus on the negative especially when that’s what seems to be prevalent in our world today. The name calling, the stereotyping, the direct assault on Christian prayer and the list goes on and on seems to be common place and acceptable. SAD! The challenge comes down to focusing on what’s good and right in our own little corner of the world.

We all have our own challenges and struggles. Remember that each time you meet someone. I can’t help but think that my own petty complaints are nothing, when I think about the families that lost their loved ones through these acts of horror and disregard for life. How do I and how do YOU take this feeling and keep it in the forefront of how we will live our life this day forward?

First, there needs to be ACTION taken EVERY day for at least 21 days for a new habit to be created. I propose you begin with understanding that Life is Fragile which also means it can be taken away from us in an instant. Next establish a habit of Being Grateful for the Gift of Today!

Gratitude is like a muscle. The more we “exercise” it the stronger it gets. How do you start each day? Do you wake up with the “to do” list scrolling through your thoughts, and you’re on autopilot with the morning routine missing the fact that your child needed some extra cuddle time or a spouse needed an extra kiss before tackling a tough meeting? Did you miss the incredible sunrise or the beauty of a fresh blanket of snow?

Maybe you wake up each day dreading going to school or work or having to deal with a difficult boss. Take stock in what your body communicates to those around you when you wake up with negativity. Does your family know to stay away when they see that dark “cloud” that surrounds you? With that mindset, you have set the tone for the day. What you didn’t realize is you missed an extra hug and an I love you from your spouse or your kids. You missed out on someone else’s need to share an honor or celebration. You missed out on the laughter and joking at the breakfast table before everyone headed off in their own directions.

Missed opportunities! What a shame and all because you had a negative mindset. Unfortunately, the things that go through our minds when we’ve lost someone are all the things we could have said, all the things we could have done – could have, should have – regret.

Tony Robbins says, “The words you consistently select will shape your destiny.” I would add to that…The lack of conversations will also shape your destiny. We have people who are no longer having conversations. They’re too busy texting, checking emails, checking Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest. There is silence with the TV in the background. There’s not a focus to check in and see how the day went for the other person or to follow up with upcoming events, or even brainstorm ideas of problems or challenges. SAD! I would venture to guess those “wish I had…” thoughts would come to mind when reflecting on missed opportunities.

It doesn’t necessarily take a death. There have also been horrific situations such as fires, hurricanes, and earthquakes in the news these past months. It’s loss. When listening to the people, though many lost everything, there were words of gratitude that they still had their life and were saddened for others.  

There are MANY things in life we cannot control. You can’t control the boss who constantly is putting up blocks and does everything to make your life difficult. You can’t control the parent who is critical and judgmental, you can’t control the negativity of the media, you can’t control whether someone else stands for the National Anthem, you can’t control the language of others, you can’t control the professor who isn’t willing to listen to your viewpoint, you can’t control the fact others don’t see the need to send thank you’s or to even say thank you, you can’t control fair weather friends. The list goes on and on.

You WILL have struggles and disappointments. That’s life. BUT, there are far more things in your life that you CAN control. First, it takes YOUR focus on what’s good and right in your life. It takes a focus on what you value and where you want to put your energy. Sometimes those challenges mean you must rethink your goals and what you want your life to look like. Often, it just takes a change in your mental strength.

When our focus is on the fact that Life Is Fragile and we want a Heart and Voice of Gratitude, it’s amazing how life will begin to change. I AM grateful that I’m in control of who I want to be around (and that includes family), I AM grateful I’m in control of putting the phone down and engaging in conversation, I AM in control of ridding my life of negative people who only complain without wanting to find solutions. I AM in control of what I read and what I watch/listen to. I AM in control of avoiding “group think,” and find my own facts.

WHO’S READY FOR A CHALLENGE? Who’s ready for a challenge that’s for a lifetime of behavioral change? Here’s my list of ACTION steps:

1.    Be GRATEFUL for the Gift of Today!

2.    Start each day with a word of thanks and gratitude.

3.    Make thank you as a staple in all that you do. Words of thanks, thank you notes, small acts of kindness reflecting your gratitude.

4.    Tell the people around you that you care about them. That means EVERY day! Words such as I love you, I appreciate all that you do for me and our family, I appreciate your friendship and willingness to listen to my frustrations etc. etc.

5.    When things don’t go your way, use that time to share your frustrations with those who care about you. Be sure to ask for help coming up with solutions whenever possible, but most of all, thank them for listening!

6.    Be grateful for all you do have. That list may be small right now, but it’ll grow the more you can focus on good vs. negative.

7.    Replace complaints with gratitude or solutions.

8.    Take a walk or a run with the focus on all that you’re grateful for in your life.

9.    Word swap – exchange the words “have to” with “get to.” Sound silly? I thought so too until I tried it. It’s amazing how quickly your mind flips to a more positive mindset. You’re exchanging a complaining voice to an appreciative heart.

1.  Put down your cell phone during meals and engage in conversation.

1.  Put down your cell phone before going to bed and have a conversation about your day with your spouse, your roommate, your parents etc.

1.  Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. (That seems to be lost these days.)

I wish you a week of starting each day with a grateful heart. I hope you either use the list above or come up with your own action list then follow through on a 21 day commitment to change your occasional actions into life time habits beginning with Gratitude.

Mental Strength + Faith

A quick note, I am back to sending out my thoughts on Tuesdays as we’re not traveling as much now.

Last week I wished you a week of looking, in depth, at your mental strength. What did you learn about yourself? Understanding yourself in this area will either allow you to move forward on a journey of success and abundance, or you will continue to face the roadblocks and lack which you have faced in the past.

My thoughts and emotions are reeling with another senseless tragedy and loss of life this time at a church in Sutherland Springs, Tx. The youngest was an 18-month-old baby, the oldest a 77 year old grandmother, eight members of one family were killed, and so many more stories of people from this small town of 400.

So much heartache and tragedy. Unfortunately, many are using these situations; the Vegas assault and 50 people killed, the 8 killed on the path in New York City, and now the 26 killed in a small church in rural America to have yet another debate on gun control and immigration. As far as the gun control is concerned; do I think some things can be changed, yes, do I believe in getting rid of the 2^nd Amendment, no. In fact, with this latest tragedy; because there was a man with his own legally held gun who went after this killer, there were far less deaths than there could have been.

I’m not writing on gun control. Where my thoughts are right now centers around what is happening to our country. We have those that only want to condemn the history of this country and justify taking down statues that they disapprove of, changing the names of schools, erasing history from the history books, no longer teaching civics and understanding our democracy. We’re seeing protests during our national anthem, and name calling; racist, bigot, misogynist, Islamophobic, and white supremist thrown out any time there’s a disagreement. Violence has taken over some college campuses with the police being told to stand down, some extreme liberal professors are subjecting all students to their political view and not tolerating differences. Some students have been asked to leave the class, others have seen their grades plummet, and many are afraid to say anything to the contrary.

My recent reading has been more historical books. It’s eye opening to know that these events I mentioned, and even more are not the first time our country has seen this. Reading and learning about our past is critical to us all making changes that will last. Denying our history does not make it go away! As far as the racial issues in this country are concerned there is much to be embarrassed and saddened about. However, what has been a focus moving forward, changing laws, having a dialog, understanding first hand and making a difference through ACTION rather than just rhetoric and name calling.

Our young people can’t even answer basic questions about our history and seem to have only talking points they’ve heard or read on social media. When challenged with facts, they’re amazed and have no response. Social media has totally changed how we communicate, how we gather information, and what is read on Facebook etc. is now being accepted as fact by so many. SAD!

What is the missing link? In my opinion, we have tried to push aside those who have a belief in God and have a belief in goodness. We have taken God and prayer out of our schools with the rationale that it’s a separation of church and state. Personally, that’s an excuse and up for interpretation. It wasn't politically correct to say Merry Christmas so we were all saying Happy Holidays. Guess what? I say Merry Christmas!

Students have asked for a time of prayer set aside at the beginning of a school day for those who were wanting to gather. It was not mandatory, it was not done over the intercom, it was only a quiet time of gathering. It was not granted by the administration until lawyers got involved. SAD!

One of my former students posted her thoughts Sunday after attending her church in Florida. Unbeknownst to Annie, the shootings at the Baptist church in Texas had already happened. Here are thoughts she took away from the sermon and are QUITE appropriate: "The brokenness of this world is not going to be healed by politicians. It won’t be healed by those yelling in the streets. It will only be healed by those who bring the light of FAITH, HOPE and LOVE. The goal of discouragement is to rob us of our HOPE. Without HOPE we will not accelerate through life. Discouragement desires to make us eternal couch potatoes. Without vision. But HOPE is the strength that keeps us moving forward, fuels our courage and excitement to get up and do what we dream of doing! God says, “My GRACE is sufficient for you.” Often times we think it means we should just sit and accept our current struggles and know that at least we have GRACE. The pastor at Annie’s church stated that’s NOT the case. It DOES mean GRACE is sufficient to OVERCOME any and all struggles that life and the world may throw at us. His GRACE is enough to conquer hopelessness and discouragement. Three things will last forever – FAITH, HOPE, and LOVE – and the greatest of these is LOVE."

Let’s keep these words in front of us at ALL times. It is a part of our mental strength that I talked about last week. When I think about the horrific loss of life in this latest tragedy, I especially focus on the deaths of the young children. They were in church; a place we thought was sacred, with a family member and surrounded by their church family. I look at my own grandchildren and can only say a prayer that they stay safe. How will these people, the church family, the town be able to move forward?

Part of that journey has already started. Pictures of people praying, and statements of faith abound. The press conference Monday morning ended with a pastor coming to the microphone and praying!! I LOVED it. The people’s faith is strong, and I would also add that because of their faith their mental strength is also strong. They will turn their struggles moving forward into a strength. “It takes energy, mental toughness, and spiritual reinforcement to successfully deal with life’s challenges.”

May God bless each of you this week. I wish you a week of reflection.  

  

Are You Mentally Strong?

Last week I wished I wished you a week to examine something you’ve done in your life and what lessons you learned from that experience. What did you learn for yourself?

“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.” Thomas Jefferson

I recently read an article by Amy Morin, a psychotherapist, entitled, “Mental Strength Can Make You Unstoppable.” Why is it that some people are able to overcome THE most horrific events in their life, a tough upbringing, and other hardships yet others are unable to move on? In this article, Amy has some interesting insights which I’m sharing this week.

Who beats the odds? Those that maintain a positive outlook on life seem to be the ones that can stand back up each time they’re knocked down. There are also those you “succumb to their environments. They feel sorry for themselves, considering their situation to be worse than others. They spend time and mental energy stressing about things they can’t control. They’re resistant to change, often believing nothing will improve, their situation. As a result, they often stay exactly where they are.”

Amy found, in her experiences as a psychotherapist, that it’s the tenacious individuals who all had one thing in common: “an insatiable desire to build mental muscle. They were determined to reach their potential despite whatever challenges life threw at them.”

Wouldn’t you agree that it’s easy to feel mentally strong when all is going well? It’s those tough times that sooner or later will happen and that’s when you truly need all the mental strength you can come up with. It might be a health crisis, a financial problem, a relationship challenge, divorce, or a challenging child.

Sometimes it’s just the everyday stressors like traffic jams, disagreements with co-workers, long lines at the grocery store when you’re already running late etc. that can wear you down if you aren’t taking care of yourself and feeling strong mentally. It’s not just the big problems that keep us from being our best, it can be the everyday challenges. Our job is to ACTIVELY and CONSISTENTLY build ourselves up!

According to Amy, how you respond to challenges is what is going to make a difference in your overall well-being. Can you turn your struggles into strength? OR will the problems be roadblocks?

“The hurdle that keeps someone from crossing over the space between a mediocre life and an extraordinary life is a lack of mental strength. Your mind can be your best asset or your biggest weakness. If you don’t train it well, your negative thoughts will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.”

You can’t create positive change until you take back control of your thoughts, and you can’t perform at your peak without a strong mindset. “When you’re mentally strong, you become the best possible version of yourself.”

Take time to reflect on your own mental strength. Are you challenging yourself to grow or maybe you’ve grown complacent and comfortable. There’s always room for improvement no matter who you are.

You might be mentally strong in one area of your life and not in another. You might be able to handle the challenges when it comes to the inconveniences such as long lines but you’re a “mess” when it comes to paying the bills after Christmas and your financial situation isn’t strong.

“We’ve all seen elite athletes resort to using performance-enhancing drugs that ultimately tarnish their legacies, and successful people who fall prey to get-rich-quick schemes.” Amy suggests “we all stay vigilant to avoid the common traps that drain our mental strength. Becoming mentally strong won’t guarantee success. But it will help you learn from your mistakes and rebound from failure. The more mental muscle you build, the easier life’s inevitable challenges become.”

In the article there’s a chart which distinguishes between “acting tough” and “being strong.” The difference in this article is “acting tough is about surviving” whereas “being strong is about thriving.”

For example:

Acting tough…	Being strong…
Masks your insecurities	Addresses weaknesses
Denies pain	Recognizes shortcomings
Makes you believe you’re indestructible	Strives for self-control
Suppresses emotions	Acknowledges emotions
Turns you into a controlling person	Learns from pain
Focuses on your reputation	Focuses on character
Pretends failure isn’t an option	Believes failure is part of success

We all have a choice. Every day, you make choices from the moment you wake up to when you lay your head down to sleep. Are you going to let your emotions decide whether you’re going to work out or stick to your goal to lose weight? Are you going to blame, complain or defend your actions or take ownership that you are where you are in your life because of your choices or lack thereof?

OR you can choose to be better than you were yesterday, even when it’s uncomfortable and maybe even painful. I celebrate my niece, Kelly, who started with 100 days of happiness finding the little things that made her happy. She posted these on FB. Her original 100 days turned into 200 and then daily for one full year. Now she has continued with her posts with the day followed by happy 2.0. Despite some relationship challenges, Kelly, continues finding happiness each day. She has been building her mental strength.

The 100 days of happy started with one day, then two, then three etc. etc. It took a decision. Then it took consistent action. Now it has become a habit. Mental strength. ”Despite the advantages mental strength can offer in your personal and professional life, most people don’t pay much attention to their mental muscle.”

Reread the chart above and see where you fit. Be honest with yourself and then decide what area or areas you want to focus on. Eventually, your mind will begin to strengthen and see the difficult choices as opportunities for growth.

“It takes energy, mental toughness and spiritual reinforcement to successfully deal with life’s opportunities, and to reach your objectives.” Zig Ziglar

 I wish you a week to look, in depth, at your mental strength.