Are You Mentally Strong?

Last week I wished I wished you a week to examine something you’ve done in your life and what lessons you learned from that experience. What did you learn for yourself?

“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.” Thomas Jefferson

I recently read an article by Amy Morin, a psychotherapist, entitled, “Mental Strength Can Make You Unstoppable.” Why is it that some people are able to overcome THE most horrific events in their life, a tough upbringing, and other hardships yet others are unable to move on? In this article, Amy has some interesting insights which I’m sharing this week.

Who beats the odds? Those that maintain a positive outlook on life seem to be the ones that can stand back up each time they’re knocked down. There are also those you “succumb to their environments. They feel sorry for themselves, considering their situation to be worse than others. They spend time and mental energy stressing about things they can’t control. They’re resistant to change, often believing nothing will improve, their situation. As a result, they often stay exactly where they are.”

Amy found, in her experiences as a psychotherapist, that it’s the tenacious individuals who all had one thing in common: “an insatiable desire to build mental muscle. They were determined to reach their potential despite whatever challenges life threw at them.”

Wouldn’t you agree that it’s easy to feel mentally strong when all is going well? It’s those tough times that sooner or later will happen and that’s when you truly need all the mental strength you can come up with. It might be a health crisis, a financial problem, a relationship challenge, divorce, or a challenging child.

Sometimes it’s just the everyday stressors like traffic jams, disagreements with co-workers, long lines at the grocery store when you’re already running late etc. that can wear you down if you aren’t taking care of yourself and feeling strong mentally. It’s not just the big problems that keep us from being our best, it can be the everyday challenges. Our job is to ACTIVELY and CONSISTENTLY build ourselves up!

According to Amy, how you respond to challenges is what is going to make a difference in your overall well-being. Can you turn your struggles into strength? OR will the problems be roadblocks?

“The hurdle that keeps someone from crossing over the space between a mediocre life and an extraordinary life is a lack of mental strength. Your mind can be your best asset or your biggest weakness. If you don’t train it well, your negative thoughts will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.”

You can’t create positive change until you take back control of your thoughts, and you can’t perform at your peak without a strong mindset. “When you’re mentally strong, you become the best possible version of yourself.”

Take time to reflect on your own mental strength. Are you challenging yourself to grow or maybe you’ve grown complacent and comfortable. There’s always room for improvement no matter who you are.

You might be mentally strong in one area of your life and not in another. You might be able to handle the challenges when it comes to the inconveniences such as long lines but you’re a “mess” when it comes to paying the bills after Christmas and your financial situation isn’t strong.

“We’ve all seen elite athletes resort to using performance-enhancing drugs that ultimately tarnish their legacies, and successful people who fall prey to get-rich-quick schemes.” Amy suggests “we all stay vigilant to avoid the common traps that drain our mental strength. Becoming mentally strong won’t guarantee success. But it will help you learn from your mistakes and rebound from failure. The more mental muscle you build, the easier life’s inevitable challenges become.”

In the article there’s a chart which distinguishes between “acting tough” and “being strong.” The difference in this article is “acting tough is about surviving” whereas “being strong is about thriving.”

For example:

Acting tough…	Being strong…
Masks your insecurities	Addresses weaknesses
Denies pain	Recognizes shortcomings
Makes you believe you’re indestructible	Strives for self-control
Suppresses emotions	Acknowledges emotions
Turns you into a controlling person	Learns from pain
Focuses on your reputation	Focuses on character
Pretends failure isn’t an option	Believes failure is part of success

We all have a choice. Every day, you make choices from the moment you wake up to when you lay your head down to sleep. Are you going to let your emotions decide whether you’re going to work out or stick to your goal to lose weight? Are you going to blame, complain or defend your actions or take ownership that you are where you are in your life because of your choices or lack thereof?

OR you can choose to be better than you were yesterday, even when it’s uncomfortable and maybe even painful. I celebrate my niece, Kelly, who started with 100 days of happiness finding the little things that made her happy. She posted these on FB. Her original 100 days turned into 200 and then daily for one full year. Now she has continued with her posts with the day followed by happy 2.0. Despite some relationship challenges, Kelly, continues finding happiness each day. She has been building her mental strength.

The 100 days of happy started with one day, then two, then three etc. etc. It took a decision. Then it took consistent action. Now it has become a habit. Mental strength. ”Despite the advantages mental strength can offer in your personal and professional life, most people don’t pay much attention to their mental muscle.”

Reread the chart above and see where you fit. Be honest with yourself and then decide what area or areas you want to focus on. Eventually, your mind will begin to strengthen and see the difficult choices as opportunities for growth.

“It takes energy, mental toughness and spiritual reinforcement to successfully deal with life’s opportunities, and to reach your objectives.” Zig Ziglar

 I wish you a week to look, in depth, at your mental strength.