Life is Fragile

Last week I wished you a week of reflection. I hope you took time to examine areas of your life you may feel you’ve neglected or areas of your life you know you didn’t give your all. In today’s world we are challenged to take a hard look at life and how we’re spending our days.

Be grateful for the gift of today. That can’t be said enough especially when you see how swiftly life can be taken away. Whether it’s the horrible events in NY City, Vegas, and now Sutherland Springs, or it’s a drug overdose, a drunk driver killing innocent people, loss of a military family member or friend being killed in battle etc. etc., it seems we’ll take a few hours, maybe even a few days to feel sad. Yet, our lives go on and in a relatively short period of time we push the “lesson” back into our memory. Life goes on with little regard to the fact that these horrific life changing situations can happen to any of us.

What’s our challenge? The challenge is to develop a heart and voice of gratitude EACH AND EVERY DAY. It’s easy to focus on the negative especially when that’s what seems to be prevalent in our world today. The name calling, the stereotyping, the direct assault on Christian prayer and the list goes on and on seems to be common place and acceptable. SAD! The challenge comes down to focusing on what’s good and right in our own little corner of the world.

We all have our own challenges and struggles. Remember that each time you meet someone. I can’t help but think that my own petty complaints are nothing, when I think about the families that lost their loved ones through these acts of horror and disregard for life. How do I and how do YOU take this feeling and keep it in the forefront of how we will live our life this day forward?

First, there needs to be ACTION taken EVERY day for at least 21 days for a new habit to be created. I propose you begin with understanding that Life is Fragile which also means it can be taken away from us in an instant. Next establish a habit of Being Grateful for the Gift of Today!

Gratitude is like a muscle. The more we “exercise” it the stronger it gets. How do you start each day? Do you wake up with the “to do” list scrolling through your thoughts, and you’re on autopilot with the morning routine missing the fact that your child needed some extra cuddle time or a spouse needed an extra kiss before tackling a tough meeting? Did you miss the incredible sunrise or the beauty of a fresh blanket of snow?

Maybe you wake up each day dreading going to school or work or having to deal with a difficult boss. Take stock in what your body communicates to those around you when you wake up with negativity. Does your family know to stay away when they see that dark “cloud” that surrounds you? With that mindset, you have set the tone for the day. What you didn’t realize is you missed an extra hug and an I love you from your spouse or your kids. You missed out on someone else’s need to share an honor or celebration. You missed out on the laughter and joking at the breakfast table before everyone headed off in their own directions.

Missed opportunities! What a shame and all because you had a negative mindset. Unfortunately, the things that go through our minds when we’ve lost someone are all the things we could have said, all the things we could have done – could have, should have – regret.

Tony Robbins says, “The words you consistently select will shape your destiny.” I would add to that…The lack of conversations will also shape your destiny. We have people who are no longer having conversations. They’re too busy texting, checking emails, checking Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest. There is silence with the TV in the background. There’s not a focus to check in and see how the day went for the other person or to follow up with upcoming events, or even brainstorm ideas of problems or challenges. SAD! I would venture to guess those “wish I had…” thoughts would come to mind when reflecting on missed opportunities.

It doesn’t necessarily take a death. There have also been horrific situations such as fires, hurricanes, and earthquakes in the news these past months. It’s loss. When listening to the people, though many lost everything, there were words of gratitude that they still had their life and were saddened for others.  

There are MANY things in life we cannot control. You can’t control the boss who constantly is putting up blocks and does everything to make your life difficult. You can’t control the parent who is critical and judgmental, you can’t control the negativity of the media, you can’t control whether someone else stands for the National Anthem, you can’t control the language of others, you can’t control the professor who isn’t willing to listen to your viewpoint, you can’t control the fact others don’t see the need to send thank you’s or to even say thank you, you can’t control fair weather friends. The list goes on and on.

You WILL have struggles and disappointments. That’s life. BUT, there are far more things in your life that you CAN control. First, it takes YOUR focus on what’s good and right in your life. It takes a focus on what you value and where you want to put your energy. Sometimes those challenges mean you must rethink your goals and what you want your life to look like. Often, it just takes a change in your mental strength.

When our focus is on the fact that Life Is Fragile and we want a Heart and Voice of Gratitude, it’s amazing how life will begin to change. I AM grateful that I’m in control of who I want to be around (and that includes family), I AM grateful I’m in control of putting the phone down and engaging in conversation, I AM in control of ridding my life of negative people who only complain without wanting to find solutions. I AM in control of what I read and what I watch/listen to. I AM in control of avoiding “group think,” and find my own facts.

WHO’S READY FOR A CHALLENGE? Who’s ready for a challenge that’s for a lifetime of behavioral change? Here’s my list of ACTION steps:

1.    Be GRATEFUL for the Gift of Today!

2.    Start each day with a word of thanks and gratitude.

3.    Make thank you as a staple in all that you do. Words of thanks, thank you notes, small acts of kindness reflecting your gratitude.

4.    Tell the people around you that you care about them. That means EVERY day! Words such as I love you, I appreciate all that you do for me and our family, I appreciate your friendship and willingness to listen to my frustrations etc. etc.

5.    When things don’t go your way, use that time to share your frustrations with those who care about you. Be sure to ask for help coming up with solutions whenever possible, but most of all, thank them for listening!

6.    Be grateful for all you do have. That list may be small right now, but it’ll grow the more you can focus on good vs. negative.

7.    Replace complaints with gratitude or solutions.

8.    Take a walk or a run with the focus on all that you’re grateful for in your life.

9.    Word swap – exchange the words “have to” with “get to.” Sound silly? I thought so too until I tried it. It’s amazing how quickly your mind flips to a more positive mindset. You’re exchanging a complaining voice to an appreciative heart.

1.  Put down your cell phone during meals and engage in conversation.

1.  Put down your cell phone before going to bed and have a conversation about your day with your spouse, your roommate, your parents etc.

1.  Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. (That seems to be lost these days.)

I wish you a week of starting each day with a grateful heart. I hope you either use the list above or come up with your own action list then follow through on a 21 day commitment to change your occasional actions into life time habits beginning with Gratitude.