Who Is Packing Your Parachute?

Thank you to those of you who shared experiences where “you never know when something may change” has been a reality for you too. What makes a difference when the news comes of a loved one’s sudden death, that diagnosis of cancer etc. is the support system surrounding you.  (More on that later.)

I also want to celebrate those of you who have communicated your desire to make health changes for the better and also the number of you who have communicated that you’re making a commitment to continuing your healthy lifestyle!!

My question this week is, “Who’s Packing Your Parachute?” I was listening to a Joel Osteen radio broadcast late last week and this was the question he was asking.  Whether you are in your 20’s, 30’s, or in my case 60’s, there have been a multitude of people who have contributed to where we are in life, those who have helped “pack our parachute.” Our parents, siblings, spouse, teammates, teachers, special friends, church friendships, employers and colleagues, etc. etc. are all a part of making our lives what they are today. 

Some people play an important role for a period of time; they added to our parachute, however, they are no longer in our lives. Some people are in our lives for us to learn a lesson. Instead of the toxic “contributions,” what they end up adding is a new realization and a new learning of what NOT to do. So instead, we “packed our own parachute” with a positive lesson leaving the toxic, negative behind. Then there are also those people who are at our side “through thick and thin,” day after day, year after year no matter what.

We don’t live in isolation. We need people around us for support, for teaching us something new, for love and acceptance.  We need people who will encourage us to be the best we can be, to push us past our own limiting beliefs, to hold us accountable to being our true self. We need people to forgive us when we’ve “messed up” but continue to love us no matter what happened. Our parachutes, in my opinion, are full of life experiences, learning, growing up, and lessons of not only what TO DO but also what NOT to do.

I encourage you to look around and see who is in your life that is helping you pack your parachute.  Who is your cheerleader, your support system, the people that love you unconditionally, the people who make your life easier?  Have you taken the time to thank them?  Have you let them know that you appreciate what they do?  It may just be a verbal thank you, it may be a quick email or text, and it may be flowers sent for no reason. It’s voicing appreciation regularly.  It’s not voicing your appreciation once and think that’s enough. It’s making appreciation a part of your life.

Many people are helping you “pack your parachute” to live a life of being the best you can be. It’s a head football coach at CU thanking the ticket office after a game. He understood the power of saying thank you to all the people “behind the scenes.” Another head coach publicly thanked his wife for taking care of their two young children, and putting up with his very time intensive focus on coaching.  He acknowledged that because she was supporting him, behind the scene, he was able to live his dream. Sending a card to a friend throughout the first year after the loss of their spouse is a way of support. Sometimes it’s just telling your children that you noticed they picked up their toys without being asked.

Each time we acknowledge the people in our lives who are helping us “pack our parachute” of life, we are giving AND receiving at the same time!!  Blessings all around. 

I wish you a week of recognizing and acknowledging those people who are helping you pack YOUR parachute.  I look forward to hearing from you.

   

  

You Just Never Know

Last week, I wished you a week of choosing health as your number one priority for the rest of your life!  This was my challenge to you.  What did YOU choose?  Congratulations if you chose health!!  My hope for you is that if you are still “waffling” making any kind of commitment, then this week’s blog may give you more “food for thought” to choose health.

Although I watch as little TV as possible, except for sports, I couldn’t escape the horrific pictures of the refugees running for their lives with their families. Young children, pregnant women, fathers who knew they must leave their country, their homes, EVERYTHING in order to survive. These refugees are making the toughest of choices.  It’s their lives. They are willing to do whatever it takes.  It’s not their choice, it’s not because they have done anything wrong, it’s the choice of others to not respect the lives of people in their country forcing the innocent to flee for their lives.

In addition, this past week, I have learned of a close family member who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, and I went to a memorial service for a 30 year old young woman and granddaughter of friends.  It’s other family members now who are having to deal with the repercussions of what’s happening around them.  It’s the fear of a husband and a son.  It’s the sadness of a grandparent who’s not only lost a grandchild but also now watching their child deal with the death of their child.

 

It’s not my intent to compare what is happening with the refugees to what is happening to my family and friends.  But what is common is the sadness, the fear of the unknown, the courage to go on, and the challenge to move ahead despite all the adversity.  Why is it that it seems to take extremes and adversity for us to realize that life is short, precious, and we never know when life will change?  For those of us living in America, we take our freedoms for granted. Admittedly, we have a lot to change and do differently; however, we do have so much to be thankful for.

Unlike the refugees, we have a choice.  We can choose health and wellness, we can choose health experts to deal with the cancer, we can choose our own faith and spirituality to deal with the loss of a loved one.  All of these are choices and opportunities that help and support us as we move forward. The various religious beliefs and opportunities to pursue those beliefs are available.  The medical communities whether it be conventional Western medicine, holistic, naturopathic, or a combination of approaches are all available to us.  For these things, I am grateful!

Are you a smoker?  Do you have issues with drugs and alcohol?  Are you overweight?  Do you watch more than 4 hours of TV daily?  Do you find yourself unable to do much of anything physical either because you’re overweight, you’re tired, or both? If you answered yes to any of these questions, the next questions are...Are you married?  Do you have a spouse/significant other? Do you have children? Do you have a job? Do you have friends? 

If you answered yes to any of these questions then WHY HAVEN’T YOU QUIT SMOKING, DRINKING, TAKING DRUGS? WHY haven’t you lost those extra 10, 20, 100+ pounds?  WHY haven’t you committed to walking daily for at least 20 minutes until you can do more?  WHY haven’t you committed to cutting out sugar and junk food?  I know, I know, you’ve tried before, and it didn’t work.  It’s hard etc. etc. EXCUSES, EXCUSES, EXCUSES! 

I would tell you that the real reason is you’re being lazy and selfish. WOW! How’s that for putting it on the table?  If you have a spouse/significant other, children and people that count on you and love you, then if they truly were important, then you would NOT have ANY excuses.  You would do whatever it takes to be healthy!  You would not be satisfied until you are 100% free of the addictions, the extra weight, the lack of energy due to inactivity etc. And if you were unsuccessful with previous tries, you’ll try again.  You’ll find a different support group, a different approach…you will NEVER quit trying to get out of the addictive behavior. 

The refugees fleeing for their lives are willing to do whatever it takes to reach their freedom despite all the dangers.  My family member now facing cancer will do and is doing whatever it takes to get cancer free and healthy once again.  The death of a loved one, especially one so young, is a daily struggle, however, this family will rely on their faith and are looking for ways to make a difference in others’ lives so her death is not in vain.

My challenge to you is that you take a good look at your health…no more procrastinating!  No more excuses! If you can’t do it for yourself, originally, do it for the ones you love. Eventually, you will have to come to terms with the fact that you ARE important to others, you ARE loved, you ARE a special person in God’s eyes.

If you are taking care of yourself, then your commitment is to continue doing what you’re doing. No matter where you are on the continuum of health, I will be there to support you in any way I can. All you need to do is let me know you need help.

I wish you a week of committing to change something in your health. 

    

Each Decade Make Health a Choice

How was your week of reflection and gratitude?  Can you write down at least 10 things, right now, that you’re grateful for in your life?  When you think about your gratitude’s do you find they fit into one part of your life or are they in all areas of your life?  For example, do you only list family, friends, and relationships?  Was there anything on your list that related to your health?  What about your finances? I encourage you to continue to look at even the littlest things and to make gratitude a part of each day throughout your entire day.

The past two weeks have been filled with decade birthday celebrations: 70, 60, and 10.  Our granddaughter, Sophia, was 10 yesterday.  She’s in the 4^th grade, learning violin, and loving the play time with the neighborhood kids.  She is an avid reader, a protector of her brother (most of the time), enjoys hiking, biking, and exploring the world around her. It’s amazing as we watch her learn more about who she is as a young girl - her whole life ahead of her. 

Each decade, for me, has had its own challenges and its own growth, but isn’t that what life’s journey is all about?  Hopefully, what remains constant is the mission to continually learn and grow mentally and emotionally, and a constant focus on personal health and wellness.  Stages in adult development show our 20’s being the time to establish careers, marriage, and children.  In our thirties, we are gaining more confidence in our jobs, children are probably starting school, we seem to be juggling more activities and time commitments which often times means we’re spending less and less time on our personal self.  At 40, we begin to look at our life as half over.  The issues and problems we had earlier in life seem much less dramatic as the ones which we’ll face in the next 40 years.  Things like taking care of ailing parents, the loss of a parent(s), children leaving home and establishing their own lives, retirement, the loss of a spouse, our own death.

So how do we make the most of each decade and still enjoy every decade?  First and foremost, I would venture to say that if we don’t have our health our choices are extremely limited.  It’s a choice.  It’s a choice to quit smoking, it’s a choice to address addictions, it’s a choice to make exercise a part of the day, it’s a choice to eat healthy and reduce portion sizes!  It means paying attention to your weight and not settle for the couple pounds that seem to add on each year.  It means paying attention to your balance and flexibility.  It means not ignoring and not giving excuses for your lack of physical fitness. We are all aging; however, the key is what do you plan to do about it?

Darren Hardy, editor and publisher of Success magazine, wrote the book The Compound Effect.  The Compound Effect is the “principle of reaping huge rewards from a series of small, smart choices…These small changes offer little or no immediate results, no big win, no obvious I-told-you-so payoff. So why bother? What most people don’t realize is that the small, seemingly insignificant steps completed consistently over time will create a radical difference.”  Once again…it’s all about the choices we make.  Choices are at the root of everything we do and therefore, our results. “You didn’t intend to sabotage yourself, but by not thinking about your decisions – weighing the risks and potential outcomes – you found yourself facing unintended consequences.” We don’t intend to get “out of shape” or become obese, “but often (if not always) those consequences are the result of a series of small, poor choices.” 

So if our health is a key component to how we live our life what do we do if we find ourselves with aches and pains, not as flexible, and not being able to keep up with the kids/grand kids?  Yes, we’re back to that key word again…CHOICE.  Jon and I have been working out for many years using a variety of programs.  Each seemed to have its benefits, and we enjoyed them.  Recently, however, we were watching a PBS program on Aging Backwards also known as Essentrics.  As it turns out, it’s also the program our nephew’s wife, Jenny, had told us about a while ago, but we didn’t pursue it. She is a fitness trainer using this approach and has people in her class ages 20-80+.  Because we have worked out, Jenny suggested we try the Classical Stretch CD which has 30 different workouts lasting 23 minutes each.  Each workout targets different areas.  Jon and I have now focused three days a week to doing these workouts.  They are totally different than anything we have done before, and we’re finding great results. 

Here’s an excerpt from some of the information about Aging Backwards:

DID YOU KNOW... THAT WE CAN CHOOSE HOW WE WANT TO AGE?

The human body is designed to remain pain-free, energetic and healthy throughout its lifespan. With Aging Backwards—gone are the days when we had to accept the negative consequences of aging as inevitable and a “normal” part of getting older. In reality, we should never have to surrender helplessly to chronic pain, hip and knee replacements, loss of energy and mobility, poor posture, weight gain—regardless of our chronological years. Most of us are unaware that the process of aging is triggered by cell death. In Aging Backwards, Miranda explains how you can slow down and reverse the speed in which your cells die—showing scientifically, how anyone can stay feeling young and vibrant their entire life!

Everyone, no matter their age—can benefit from the breakthrough knowledge and advice provided in Aging Backwards .It’s never too late to take control of your body and never let aging get in your way!

Check out these websites for more information:

http://essentrics.com/

http://classicalstretch.com/

It doesn’t matter if you’ve never worked out or you have a regular workout routine; it doesn’t matter if you’re in your 20’s or in your 70’s; it doesn’t matter if you’re a professional athlete or just a weekend hiker, biker; it doesn’t matter if you are 100 pounds overweight, need to lose a couple pounds, or you don’t have a weight issue, this is a program that will make an impact on your health from the first time you do one of the 23 minute CD’s.  Thanks, Jenny for bringing this to our attention!!

CHOICE.  Choose a program that you will stick to. Choose a program that you will see results no matter your age or physical fitness level.  There are many different programs available.  Aging Backwards/Essentrics is one to definitely consider adding to your regiment or starting a new commitment to your health.

I wish you a week of choosing health as your number one priority for the rest of your life!

Gratitude Changes Your Perspective

How did you do this week responding to Maria’s quote, “respond, not with anger or weakness, but from a place of intestinal fortitude? After all, that is where the strength is, that’s where true power lives.”  This past week was one focusing on strengthening your own person intestinal fortitude.  Will you move forward, never short change yourself, and NEVER QUIT?  What were your personal results?

I realize I have had several blogs on the topic of gratitude, however, I recently read an excerpt from Manfred Kets de Vries who wrote an essay, “The Power of Gratitude.”  He is a professor of Leadership and Change at INSEAD. He brought up several interesting points which I think are worth passing along and also happen to be timely for me on several levels. Besides, a reminder of being grateful can never be brought up enough, in my humble opinion.

According to the professor, “Grate originates from the Latin ‘gratus,’ meaning the readiness to show appreciation for, and to return, kindness.  Grateful people count their blessings, have the ability to appreciate the simple pleasures of life and are always prepared to acknowledge whenever good things happen to them.  They are also the kinds of people willing to give something back.”

Gratitude is literally waking up each day and being grateful for one more day on this earth and having family that we love. My niece, Kelly, started a 100 day challenge of finding something to be happy about each day.  Isn’t that gratitude?  After the first 100 days, she decided that she would go for an entire year – 365 days!  I love reading her posts on FB about that day’s happiness. My guess is that this has now become a wonderful habit of gratitude/happiness that will continue well past her 365 day goal although it may no longer be necessary for her to “report” on the specifics. Your financial bank account may not be where you want it to be, but are you grateful for the fact you do have a job and you do have money?  Your fitness level may not be where you want it to be, however, are you grateful for the fact you’re beginning to exercise and see a difference? As Jim Rohn, John Maxwell and so many other leaders remind us, “We will never get more of anything until we can show God and the Universe that we are grateful for what we already have.”

“Gratitude is a powerful emotion.  It’s your true nature; your essence; your center; one of your deepest emotions and get this…You’re born with an endless supply of gratitude you can tap into at any time.  Gratitude remains.  It never lets you down,” according to Kets deVries. Kelly’s gratitude is ongoing and a part of her day.  I would imagine that before she began her 100 day goal, she would reflect on things.  However, now it’s a part of her essence, her true nature.  “Gratitude is a moment to moment choice.  And every thankful moment you have makes you healthier and happier….Thoughts of gratitude translate into bodily feelings in your heart and mind.  Feelings such as gladness, joy, peace, and love are flowing through your mind and body.” Those feelings of gratitude are very different than the toxic, nonresourceful feelings of jealousy, anger, fear, regret, holding on to past disappointments etc. Those are the “weeds” that we need to get rid of and move on.

Being grateful has been a long time goal of mine, however, I think in the past few years I’m consciously being grateful of so many more things throughout the day and right before bed. It’s past being a habit; it’s a way of life for me.  Watching my grandchildren as they play, as they sleep, as they interact with people and the world around them is always a precious gift and one I don’t take for granted.  As I look around the home we built 29 years ago, the memories of raising our children here and all the experiences we had as a family and now sharing with Jon is one of my gratitude’s each day as I wake up to the rooster crowing.  Having my spouse of almost 39 years beside me each morning as I open my eyes and each evening as I end my day, having the health that I do have and that Jon has are also a daily focus of gratitude for me.

My question for you is what is your focus?  Do you focus on the positives or do you focus on what you wish something would be?  Our bodies are always a focus of attention but is that focus on what we like about our bodies or what we don’t like?  I just read a great quote that basically said hundreds of industries would be nonexistent if we didn’t want to constantly change our appearance. Hmmm. I continually refer back to Jim Rohn’s quote, “What you focus on expands.”  Because I have a right foot that has had some arthritis challenges, I will continually state my gratitude for a healthy body and the focus of my gratitude is NOT on the one foot that causes me some problems.  After all, I can still walk, chase after the grand kids, exercise, and do pretty much everything I need and want to do. It’s a mindset.

Do you focus on the fact that you aren’t in a relationship, you really want someone special in your life, and everyone else has a special person so why not you? Or do you focus on how grateful you are to be young, healthy, employed with a job you enjoy, and you have special friends and family in your life that support you?  That doesn’t take away your desire for a special relationship, but it does take a different twist to your mindset.  When we love ourselves and are grateful for all we DO have “it shows.”  That “reflection” shows up in our smile, our posture, our attitude, our ability to support and encourage others etc. 

Do you focus on the negative naysayers you work with and may even be your boss?  Yes, we have to deal with them, but our energy can go more towards those we enjoy being around, those we respect and admire, and those who are also of a grateful mindset.  Right or wrong, I sometimes find myself being grateful that I’m NOT like that other person.  I’m grateful that I treat people with respect; I’m grateful that I do my best to walk my talk rather than be hypocritical or carry grudges. 

There are TONS of things to be grateful for in an instant.  It may be hard to find some days, but every day you have on this earth is one more day to make a difference in your life and even in someone else’s life.  “Gratitude is dynamic, a living emotion that can be triggered in us by thousands of things, feelings, and ideas.  All you have to do is be conscious of it.  When you’re grateful you will feel it deep inside, but you have to be paying attention.  Gratitude does make you happy. Kelly is a great testimonial to that.  “Gratitude makes you strong, energized, clear, and kind.  Gratitude wipes out your complaining, pompous ego, worry, fear, negativity, and misery.” 

“Gratitude can transform all our relationships.  It starts when you express gratitude or appreciation to another person. The transformation begins when you have the thought of gratitude, and your brain translates that feeling into beneficial biochemical and neurological changes in your body.  The feeling of gratitude also expands the heart, which has the effect of erasing old grievance and soothing resentments and petty differences we may have been holding onto.” This quote came from a 21-day meditation experience called “Manifesting Grace Through Gratitude” with Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey and was also quoted in the essay I referenced at the beginning. 

I’m sure to some of you this sounds too “Pollyanna” and “Goody Two Shoes.”  I know a few of you will tell me that it’s “easy for me to say because I’m retired and no longer working with some of these challenging people.”  All that may be true on one level.  But why not try a different way of thinking and see for yourself?  Yes, I have heard many of the stories of people my friends and family members are confronted with on almost a daily basis, and yes, my first instinct is to want to take them to task for their rudeness, stubbornness, or lack of integrity.  However, even in my place in this world, first and foremost, I’m only in control of me.  I will continue to be grateful for all the things in my life. I can testify to the fact that the feeling of gratitude is a part of me and feels very natural.  All I have to do is acknowledge that gratitude to me first.  Then it’s amazing how easy it is to extend that gratitude to others little by little.

“Einstein describes it like this and he was really logical and scientific: ‘there are only two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; or you can live as if everything is a miracle.”

I wish you a week of daily gratitude’s and reflections.

Do You Have Intestinal Fortitude?

First of all, how did you do this past week with setting more specific expectations but this time with clear examples?  What did you learn by doing things a little different?  Could you see a difference in the outcome?  I’d love to hear your discoveries.

Here’s a quick recap of our weekend in Illinois for Jon’s birthday and the first football game of season two for Jason.  We had a wonderful time with the grandchildren playing, playing, and more playing.  That meant climbing up the rock wall to the top of the play set in order to go down the spiral slide. If you’re on Facebook, there is evidence of our two year old grandson pushing Poppa down, and Jon coming out at the end. Driving a mini gator was a definite hit, and the kids were all great about taking turns driving around the yard. I love football and the atmosphere of game day!  The Spartans kicked off at 6:00 Saturday night for the first home game. This is only the second season EVER for the program Jason is building and though it was a loss they did score a TD (it wasn’t until the second or third game before that happened last year) in the first half. There were many positives, many glitches and things to work on, but that’s all to be expected.  The key is to learn, make adjustments, and keep moving forward. So though it was a loss, we were extremely proud of Jason, his coaching staff, the players, the support staff, the athletes’ parents who made the trip, and the fans. Now it’s time to move forward for game 2.

I had a sign on the wall in the front of my classroom for 15+ years that read, “You are not finished when you lose, You are finished when you quit.”  In my classroom, that applied to reading, math, getting along with one another and all aspects of our classroom team.  Doesn’t that apply to anything, really?  In fact, I would have celebrations when kids struggled because that meant mistakes happen, but they needed to learn from those mistakes to move forward. They had the mindset that quitting/giving up was not an option just because something was difficult. Their mindset was, “What do I need to do to learn, to get better?”

We never learn and grow when we’re comfortable!  When we get comfortable playing tennis, for example, we need to take it up a notch and learn new skills or play a different partner who will challenge us. When reading has now gotten easy, it’s time to find a harder book to get to the next skill level.  When our exercise routine is becoming routine, it’s time to change things up.  That may mean sore muscles again, but that’s a small price to pay to get better.  Of course, we can’t be challenging ourselves in all areas of our life all the time, there have to be some areas of comfort, but if we truly want to Be the Best we can be, staying comfortable is not moving us forward.  As I said last week, that’s one of the many things I admire about Jon.  He is not willing to always stay comfortable.

Jason’s football athletes or any athlete in ­any sport on any level will be challenged to push themselves, change bad habits, learn a different way to do something, handle different expectations with new coaches etc. etc. It’s different going from high school into college.  That mindset is totally different as are the expectations and level of competition.  The classroom from high school to college is another huge leap.  It takes a period of time to adjust, however, those with a mindset of learning and growing and increasing their skills with the focus on continually getting better will NEVER quit.

Have you ever heard the word “intestinal fortitude?”  That word seems to definitely apply to what I’m blogging about this week. The dictionary definition is “courage and endurance to go on.”  Rosa Parks had intestinal fortitude when she refused to give up her seat on the bus.  The three Americans on the train in France who brought down the terrorist had intestinal fortitude. Each day you hear of someone fighting back a cancer diagnosis, a stroke victim pushing forward to gain speech or movement in their arms and legs, it’s a parent with a disabled child making life special, our service men and women who are daily fighting for our freedom, the middle school students who stand up for a fellow student that’s being bullied.  Each of these situations are people who have intestinal fortitude.  They are people with courage, they are people who continue on with what’s right and will not quit no matter what.

So what about needing courage and endurance to handle criticism, gossip, and others trying to pull us down because we’re a threat to their comfort level? What about the people who are jealous that we are losing weight and getting fit? What about the people who are threatened by our success in the classroom and that we will have a degree at the end of the four years?  What about those “wanna be” athletes who aren’t willing to put in the time and effort to be successful, so they try to pull the rest of us down with them? Don’t each of these situations, and more, take intestinal fortitude?

I admire these people who are focused on doing what’s right and yes, they have intestinal fortitude.  They are not listening to those who are trying to pull them down.  From a piece Maria Shriver wrote earlier, “These people who have intestinal fortitude go through life with a steady, strong integrity.  They don’t rage at people or call them names, bully or belittle them.  They walk through life with a strength that is captivating.”

What if we each made the decision to focus on our own intestinal fortitude? What might that look like?  It could mean strengthening our personal faith.  It could mean staying strong, centered, and focused on what we want in life. It could mean not listening to jealous relatives who secretly want to see us fail.  It could mean ignoring the naysayers and not even giving them the time of day. It could mean focusing more time on what’s right than what’s wrong, what’s a blessing rich in gratitude, and it definitely means not getting caught up in the drama that seems to get attention.  Can we learn, as Maria says, to “respond, not with anger or weakness, but from a place of intestinal fortitude? After all, that is where the strength is, that’s where true power lives.”

Here’s to your week of strengthening your own person intestinal fortitude.  Will you move forward, never short change yourself, and NEVER QUIT?