Who Do You Listen To When Making Choices?

Judgment and Influence

What is your definition of the words judgment and influence?  How do these words impact your world?  Think about these two words when you think about people, events, and various situations. 

For discussion purposes, my definition of judgment is, “the ability to make considered decisions or come to sensible conclusions; act or process of forming an opinion.”  Influence is, “the power to change or affect someone or something.” I spent one morning recently keeping track of all the times I had a judgment or an opinion about something and also where I may or may not have influence.  I kept track of everything whether it was something I read, heard on the TV or radio, what someone wrote on Facebook, emails, phone conversations, etc.  In other words, basically all activities for that time period.  I came to an interesting yet not surprising realization…we are all judging ALL the time!! In addition, our influence can be negative, positive, or may not even be evident at the time.

So what or who influences or may influence our judgment?  I’d like to suggest a few: how we were raised, where we were raised, our experiences growing up, the people we surround ourselves with, our spouse, our children, the media, the types of books we read, colleagues, employers and the list goes on and on.  In other words:  EVERYTHING and EVERYONE. 

Last evening, we had a three hour dinner with a young couple we met a few years ago.  Since we hadn't seen them for quite some time, there was a lot of catching up to do.  In fact, since I hadn't heard from them for a few months, I was worried as the last time we had talked, they were experiencing many challenges with their business idea.  Despite all the disappointments, promises that were made that weren't fulfilled, people who said they would do something but didn't follow through, and others who could only be termed “dream stealers,” their focus, determination, and a business coach guided them towards their dream.   They DID NOT QUIT!  Their business coach encouraged and supported them – a positive influence. The positive influence they had with each other was encouraging and supportive – even during the days eating only tuna and Ramon noodles.

So who were these two listening to?  They had family members, close friends, and business people they thought they could trust and yet these people were making judgments based on their own set of values and experiences.  Our family loves and cares about us but what they believe is “in our best interest” may or may not be what is true for us.  So does that mean we shouldn't say what we think, give our opinions, be honest with our family and friends.  Absolutely not. 

There are two sides to keep in mind.  On one side, if I am giving my opinion, I need to recognize that it is just that – my opinion.  It comes from my experiences, background, values etc.  It is my judgment – not good, bad, right, or wrong – it’s mine.  Where I think we “cross the line” is when we continue to push our judgment on others, and our focus now becomes convincing them that we are right and they are wrong.  On the other side, when we are on the receiving end we have a choice.  Who are we listening to and why?  How many times have you (me included) given up on a dream, goal, or desire because you gave up?  You didn't put value on what was true in your own heart?  We let others judge and influence us in a negative way and so we quit.  Or maybe, you are like Matt and Amy who listened to their business coach and each other over the naysayers.  And because of that, they are moving at a fast pace towards dreams and goals that will impact a HUGE number of people’s health and wellness!

I would encourage you to do three things this week.  One, take time to reflect on who is a positive influencer for you and why.  Second, who are YOU a positive influencer for and what it is that you doing – what are your words and actions?  And third, remember that your judgment is just that – yours.

I appreciate you reading my thoughts and always look forward to your comments.

Nancy

What's the Magic Word?

It was a fabulous three days spent in Illinois visiting Jason, Michelle, and 22 month old, Teagan.  It’s always amazing to me how quickly she changes in a relatively short amount of time.  She is full of energy and “talking” all the time – more and more words which we can all understand now.  I attribute much of that talking because of her learning sign language.  All of our grandchildren have learned to sign.  It opens up a whole new world where they can express their needs long before they can actually say the word, eliminating so many frustrating times for both the parents and the child – and grandparents.  Words such as “eat,” “milk,” “more,” are some of the first ones they learn.  Then there’s the “magic word” – “PLEASE.”  MANNERS! It’s a word that is used at first with some prompting and now it’s a habit.

In the 14 hour drive, I was able to catch up with reading the April issue of Success magazine.  On page 20, an article entitled, “Family Manners; Giving Loved Ones a Taste of Workplace Etiquette,” by Melissa Balmain, caught my attention.  She acknowledged she and her husband began to realize they were “more polite to people we weren’t married to than we were to each other.”  What they began was their own “campaign” for courtesy by asking themselves:  “Would I treat someone at the office this way?”  This campaign, as she called it, was saying those “magic words” such as please, thank you, you’re welcome, and excuse me. “ It didn’t stop there.  Melissa realized she had made a promise to her eight year old daughter about making a charm bracelet together, but she had been postponing that.  That is until she realized, like a boss she once had had kept postponing her “pet project.”  Her 14 year old son hadn’t been paid for babysitting he had done in the past.  “If he had been an adult employee of mine, he could have long sued me for back pay and won.”  Then there were the emails and phone calls from parents, siblings, friends that had been put on the back burner until “she could get to them.”  Not a top priority like her work emails and phone calls.  The results of her new focus is the family, siblings, and friends are answered in a more timely way – respect for other people and their time. 

Melissa’s new mantra…”Do Unto Family as You Would Do Unto Colleagues.”  Why not remember what we learned in the Bible a long time ago…”Do unto others, as we would have others do unto us?” It can start as easy as Teagan and my other four grandchildren practice – use the “magic word” PLEASE.

Your task for this week is to watch yourself.  How are you doing in the respect and manners category with your spouse?  Your children?  Your parents?  Your friends?  It has nothing to do with time, lack of skills, money, or any of the other easy to use excuses.  It’s ALL about how much we respect care, and value those closest to us. 

Thank you for reading my blog this week.

Soda? Diet Soda? Energy Drink?

Soda – Diet Soda – Energy Drink?

What’s your preference?

I’m not a doctor, I don’t presume to know all the science behind nutrition, but I am aware of the topic of sugar from Dr. Oz and many others.  I’m sharing a few key points for you to reflect on and pay attention to this week.

 

How often do you drink a soda (pop) on a daily basis?  Is it a diet soda or regular soda?  Or is your drink of choice an energy drink?

According to an article in Women to Women, they referred to statistics from Beverage Digest, “overall sales of soda (sugar and diet) were 10.2 billion cases in 2005; about 828 eight-ounce servings a year (or 2.5 servings per day) for every man, woman, and child.  That number is actually down from 849 last year, mostly due to the rise in energy drinks – which come with their own concerns.”

“A regular 12-ounce soda contains the equivalent of nine teaspoons of sugar, usually in the form of high fructose corn syrup….is it any wonder we are gaining unprecedented amounts of weight and even our children are developing type 2 diabetes? 

So doesn’t it make sense to drink diet?  Yes, diet does have fewer calories than a regular soda, however, it appears that “artificial sweeteners can actually set us up to gain more weight.”  There are different views on this, but “many scientists agree that artificial sweeteners may interact with our body’s sense of sugar satisfaction…some experts are exploring the possibility that artificial sweeteners confuse our taste buds and all those brain measures of satierty which we base what we eat.”  Remember…it is artificial..

Ok, I’ve heard all the concerns about sugar in soda and the problems with diet soda, so energy drinks must be better, right?  Besides I am always tired and need more energy.  Sound familiar?  Dr. Oz says this…”energy drinks are risky.  It’s important to understand what is actually in these drinks.”  (Check out his website in reference to energy drinks.)  “Although known as ‘energy drinks’ many of these products don’t provide any real energy as you would get from carbs, for example.  Instead, they provide a stimulant caffeine. Labels typically don’t tell you exactly how much caffeine is in a product.  At ConsumerLab.com, we recently tested caffeine levels in three popular energy drinks.  A five-ounce bottle of Monster Energy M-3 Super Concentrate contained 206 mg of caffeine and 5-Hour Energy contained about the same amount but in just 2 ounces meaning that 5-Hour Energy is even more concentrated than Monster. In comparison, a full 8-ounce cup of regularly brewed coffee has just about 95 mg. of caffeine.  Details are in ConsumerLab.com’s Product Review of B Vitamins Supplements and Energy Drinks (available through the 24-hour free pass to Dr. Oz viewers).

Now what do I do?  I know I need to drink water, which I do, but I also need something more at times. In this past year, I have found a clean, natural and healthy alternative.  Evolv Activate is a cellular energy activator that has science-driven results.  I drink it for my workouts, others drink it while running, skiing, students are drinking it for more energy and focus while studying, and it’s also a great drink for that 3:00 slump.  

What makes this drink different?  ActivateATP!  “It’s a cellular energy activator that works gently with your body’s own energy pathways to give you a boost right where it begins: at the cellular level.”  This is a proprietary drink, includes green tea extract, only natural lemon flavor and no artificial sweeteners.  Click on the link below for more information about the Activate Fuel drink. 

http://www.evolvhealth.com/activateatp/

This is now my drink of choice.    I have a steady level of energy throughout my workout and throughout the day, I am more focused, there are no peaks and valleys in my energy level unlike the drinks with all the sugar, and I know I’m putting clean, natural ingredients into my body.

Pay attention this week to what you are drinking, how much you’re drinking, how you’re feeling, and read the labels.  I would enjoy hearing your comments.

UNSTOPPABLE!!!

I’m diverting slightly from my previous blogs.  There’s physical health and wellness and there’s also emotional health and wellness.  I spent an incredible weekend at a convention entitled Unstoppable.  Words like authentic, integrity, optimism, loyalty, respect, admiration, and trust were woven throughout the two days. Health information, great camaraderie, learning, probing questions, and reflection.  It was uplifting and exhilarating being surrounded by such positive energy.

Most of us have heard the quote, “If you want something to change, YOU have to change?”  The only person you have control of is YOU. Working on oneself is where it all begins.  What are YOU doing on a daily basis to learn and grow?  What are YOU doing to be the best YOU that YOU can be? 

But then how often do we get side tracked?  Someone else has a different idea of what we should be doing, others don’t approve and are insistent that they know what’s best for us, or we find those little negative voices popping up.  Now instead of moving toward that change, that dream, we’re going down a road that wasn’t our choice. 

Unstoppable – Dream – You can’t do that – I don’t dream any more

I listened to a program this morning that seems to put much of these two contrasting mindsets into a framework.  “You are not damaged goods.”  Joel Osteen painted a picture of the “damaged goods” in the grocery store.  These are the dented cans, the torn packaging, the smeared print etc.  These are off in a bin by themselves and are sold at a much lower price.  The focus is on what’s wrong, the mistakes. However, if you open that can, that package, the contents are still good. There’s nothing wrong with what’s inside.   What’s damaged on the outside is not damaged on the inside.  We are all full of potential, goodness, creativity, talents etc. etc.  But, are you wearing the “damaged label?”  “You may have lost, but you’re NOT a loser.  You may have had a negative past, but you don’t have to have a negative future.  As long as you feel less than, inferior – you won’t see your greatness.” 

Turn a MESS into a MESSAGE.

A TEST into a TESTimoy.

A TRIAL into a TRIumph.

A VICTim into a VICTORY.

I wish YOU to be UNSTOPPABLE!!