Did you take time to
reflect on your intentions? Did you focus on being intentional in all that you
did this past week? It takes a change in your mindset and your actions to reach
a level of significance.
Before I begin, I want to qualify this week’s blog.
Timing is everything. I am quite aware that May is a very hectic month especially
if you have children in school. However, now that I think about it further,
when is our life NOT busy? Summer brings its own challenges with different routines and schedules, vacations,
sports etc. Then there’s the fall with a new school year starting and football
has begun. I mention football since our lives revolved around Jon’s schedule at
CU and now Jason’s schedule at MBU. But wait, then there are other sports
beginning, AND the holidays which takes us through October, November,
December and January. Of course basketball is in full swing now and oh,
don’t forget March Madness, Easter and spring break. Throughout the year, college
students are working around their projects, papers, midterms, finals, and the
list goes on and on. In other words, life is busy for each of us (even those of
us retired) no matter what time of year it is.
Can we agree that everyone has a busy life? Everyone has
a long list of what they’d like to get accomplished, everyone has people in
their lives who are important to them, everyone has a job/school goals and
desires, everyone wants free time, and everyone wants to be healthy in mind and
body? With that said, is it important to YOU to lead a life of significance?
Are your actions reflecting what’s truly important in your life? Do the people
in your life whether it be family, friends, colleagues, employees, team members
etc. know that they are important to you and you want to add value to their lives?
I think we all take for granted, on some level, that we
will wake up and have another day on this earth. We all “put off until
tomorrow” things that we think we can do later. I think we all know “on some
level” that tomorrow isn’t guaranteed yet that’s not a comfortable topic for
many. I’m not talking about having a will, nor am I referring to planning for financial
security when you’re older although both ARE important.
What
I want to discuss are whether your actions consistently reflect what you value.
No matter your age; male or female, your marital status,
whether you have children or not, whether you’re a college student, beginning a
new career or you’ve been in your career for a length of time, we all must
focus on what we value and what we want to be remembered for once we leave this
world. I, for one, believe that we CAN have it all. We CAN have a successful career AND have a close knit, healthy family.
We CAN be healthy in both our mind
and body. I’m of the belief that we can use AND vs. either/or. What
it takes is BALANCE, and it takes PRIORITIZING!
As a teacher, throughout my 30 years, it was very
important to me to do the very best job I could to give value to my students in order to
prepare them for middle school and life in general. However, the most important part of my day was to be
sure each student felt valued, respected, and had a “can do” mindset even
through struggles and failures. In addition, it was important to me to balance my life of being a mom of two wonderful children who had many interests and
commitments, as well as a husband who had an extremely demanding and time
consuming job himself. It was important for me to have meal times together, to
prepare a healthy meal, to have time for all of us to talk and stay in touch
with what was going on in everyone’s lives. Being healthy both physically and mentally
have always been important, however, I have had to continuously work on these
areas more when I was working than now.
In addition, it has always been important to me to send
my family and friends cards with a hand written note on their birthdays and
anniversaries. It’s always been important for me to hand write thank you notes even
today which now include my grandchildren. It’s always been important to me to
read and learn more about my craft, learn more about being a better parent and
now grandparent, learn new ideas about organizing my schedule, our family’s
schedule etc. Those were MY values. What are yours?
The first part is to know what you value. Next is the question of how are you going to accomplish those things? My values are not necessarily
yours, but I give you my perspective to give you some ideas. I will say, no
matter your circumstances, the keys are PLANNING,
CONSISTENCY, and ORGANIZATION. I
realize some of you are going to stop reading right now as that is something you don't want to hear, but at least get through the following questions…
How
would you answer these questions for yourself?
*Are you more organized in your job than you are in your
personal life?
*Do you find your job takes precedence the majority of
the time over your family?
*Do you remember, after
the fact, that it was a family member’s birthday or it was either Mother or
Father’s Day and you call to apologize?
*Are you constantly wondering what you should fix for
dinner at 5:00 in the evening?
*Do you find with things at home you are doing most
things last minute and many things fall through the cracks, but you’re in
control at work?
*Do you find you and your spouse/significant other have
little time to talk and find out what’s happening at each other’s work, what’s
been on their mind etc.?
*Do you find the only conversation you have with your
spouse/significant other is about the kids?
*Do you find that you’re tired at the end of every day
and seldom feel satisfied with what was accomplished?
*Do you find yourself not eating breakfast and/or eating
more fast food meals than home cooked meals?
*Do you say thank you, you’re welcome, and please
occasionally or are they a habit no matter if it’s your children, your
spouse/significant other, your colleagues your team members etc?
*Do you find your clothes not fitting as comfortably as
you would like, yet you chalk it up to just getting older?
*If you value your health and overall wellness, on a
scale of 1-10, how would you rate yourself on: eating nutritional meals,
avoiding sugar, drinking a lot of water, and getting in some kind of cardio at
least 3-5 days a week?
These are only a few questions to get you to think about
whether your actions reflect your priorities. So how did you do? Are there
areas of your life you can make a small change that will have huge rewards in
the long run? Keep in mind we’re talking about overall habits knowing that we
all slip once in a while. What’s usually the norm for you? Is it important to
you to get better and lead that life of significance?
Remember John Maxwell’s quote, “No one stumbles upon significance. We have to be intentional about making our lives
matter. That calls for action ---and
not excuses. It’s easier to go from failure to success than from excuses to
success. Action is what converts human dreams into significance.”
PLANNING!
CONSISTENCY! ORGANIZATION!
Think about some of these suggestions and pick ONE that you’re willing to commit to
for the next 30 days – the time it takes for a habit to begin:
1 1. Take
15 minutes to plan the meals for the week and make up your grocery list. Take
into consideration the nights the kids have softball etc. Can that night be a
crock pot dinner?
2 2. Set
aside 15 minutes at least twice a week, if not more, to sit down with your
spouse/significant other without interruptions. Go over what’s happening at
work, other things on your mind, or just enjoy some down time with a beer or
glass of wine. (Establish an expectation with the kids that this is a mommy and
daddy time without interruptions.)
3 3. Plan
ahead to be sure you have what you need for a healthy breakfast. PROTEIN! All
it takes is a shake with fruit in a shaker, and you’re out the door.
4 4. Sit
down for 15 minutes once a week with your spouse/significant other with your
calendars (on your phone or a planner). Go over ALL activities happening in that week which
will affect the other person eg. an evening commitment which will bring you
home later than usual, any school activities, a game/sporting event for you
and/or the kids. Include things you will need help with eg pick up the kids,
help with getting ready for something, help with…(This is a focused time NOT a
reminder as you’re going out the door that you’ll be home late, for example.)
5 5. Take
30 minutes and put all birthdays, anniversaries in your phone calendar so it’ll
come up yearly. Do this once and you’re done! I know this is “my thing” but I
can tell you, as a recipient of cards and written words, these are cherished.
6 6. I
learned this from my beautiful mother-in-law: once a month pick out cards for
all birthdays, anniversaries, gradations, baby or wedding showers, weddings
etc. Address the cards, put a stamp on, and have it ready to go. In addition,
put into your phone calendar the day you will need to send the card in order
for it to get there on time. This usually will take you 15 minutes once a
month!
7. Organize
ONE area of your home that needs attention. Plan on taking ONE hour and focus
on three piles: one is for anything that can be recycled, another is for
anything that can be given away to Goodwill, the church a nonprofit etc., and a
third is for trash. You CAN do one
hour. Then plan another day for ONE
hour.
8 8. Go
through your clothes first. Make four piles: one is for those clothes
that fit or are slightly tight but you love them, another is for anything that
you haven’t worn for at least a year, another pile is for those clothes you
must keep for sentimental value although be careful with this category, and then any
clothes that are so worn and old that they can’t even be used for rags. GIVE
away what you can. We all can let others benefit rather than have our drawers
and closets stuffed with clothes that we really don’t ever wear
9. For 30
days, write ONE hand written thank you note (text messages do not count) to someone
for something they did for you, or for a gift they gave you, or they took the time
to go out of their way to help you. That will take you 5-10 minutes! Saying thank you is always great BUT a written note means you took extra time just for them.
1 10. Routines
are built into consistency. When do you have meals, for example? This is even
more important when you have kids. They need to know when they’re going to have
breakfast, lunch, and dinner. That time may vary 30 minutes one way or the
other, but we all need to establish times for eating. That’s HUGE for our
digestive health!
1 11. Set
aside 30 minutes 2-3 times a week to go for a run or do some cardio workout.
Involve the kids with your exercising, or take them with you when you go for a
walk, bike ride, etc.
If we strive to be the very best we can be there MUST be planning, consistency, and organization
to whatever we do. If we can improve in at least ONE area of our life then it’s
easier to do the same in another area and another etc. Notice that time can’t be an excuse if you follow
any of the 11 suggestions listed above. Most things are going to be 15 minutes
and only one is an hour. If you can’t find 15 minutes to plan and organize to
make a difference in not only your life but in the lives of your family and the
people you work with then life will continue to be stressful and frustrating. If living a
life of significance is important something has to change.
Remember:
“Success is winning
Significance is helping others win
Success leaves a fingerprint
Significance leaves a footprint
On the hearts and minds of
others.”
Remember:
We all have 24 hours in a day. It's NOT that we don't have the time...It's that something is NOT a priority.
I wish you a week of looking at the list above and deciding ONE of the questions which “spoke to
you.” What do you want to change in order to bring more significance to your
life and therefore, the lives of those around you? Second choose ONE of the 11 suggestions, or something
else, that you will commit to doing for the next 30 days.
I look forward to hearing your thoughts.
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