How Do YOU Handle Adversity?

How do you handle adversity? In a recent reading, the author made a claim that reaching one’s potential is linked to the way you handle adversity. Interesting.

“Adversity isn’t always bad. Actually, adversity can be something to be thankful for as (God) may be using it to strengthen you.” Winston Churchill said, “Difficulties mastered are opportunities won.”

“If you allow difficulties and challenges to frustrate, intimidate or discourage you, you will never overcome them. But if you face them head-on and press through the adversities you encounter, refusing to give up in the midst of them and moving forward with a heart of gratitude (there’s that word gratitude again), you will develop the skills and determination needed to be everything you were created to be and experience everything God intends for you.

How often are the things you think are difficult or a challenge directly related to your mindset? If things don’t go your way do you feel intimidated? Do you need to always be in control and don’t handle disagreements or different points of view well? What are your reactions when things just aren’t going your way?

I do think our reactions to adversity have a lot to do with our experiences growing up. I also think our reactions have a lot to do with how old we are which means how much experience we’ve had on life’s journey. What if we took the attitude that all adversity, when mastered, becomes an opportunity as quoted by Churchill? How different would your life look? Instead of adversities being a negative, what if your mindset was one of opportunity?

When the disappointment of not making a specific sport team, or not making the high school choir, or not making the debate team, or not getting on the Dean’s List, not getting the job, the raise the promotion you thought you deserved or not…. whatever it might be, what if we looked for the lesson? What if we looked for what is next? What if we learned something so the next time we were more prepared? What if we came away understanding more what we needed to do to reach that goal? What if we were open to a new path other than the one we had planned? Hmmm…

Gratitude and mindset have so much to do with what we want to accomplish in our lives. For me, life is a constant testing of our personal resolve, our personal dreams, and goals, and our personal desire to be the best we can be. We will always be tested over and over and over again. How do you handle those challenges, those adversities? Do you learn and grow? Or do you blame, complain, and defend your actions never taking responsibility?

Success in life comes from taking responsibility, learning, growing, and a never give up mindset. Success in life comes from remembering the quote from Winston Churchill, “Difficulties mastered are opportunities won.”

Book Suggestion: The Power of Being Thankful by Joyce Meyer

Quote: Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome.
—Booker T. Washington

What's YOUR Focus?

You get what you expect. What you focus on is what you get. Jim Rohn and others talk about this all the time.

You’ve heard the expression, “Go looking for trouble and that’s what you’ll find.” It’s true not only about trouble but about everything. “Go looking for conflict, and you’ll find it. Go looking for people to take advantage of you, and they generally will.” On the other hand, “Go looking for the best in people, and you’ll be amazed at how much talent, ingenuity, empathy and goodwill you’ll find. Ultimately, the world treats you the way you expect to be treated.”

People won’t take advantage of you because you won’t expect them to. It’s what you focus on! Look for the positive and focus on all that is right instead of what is wrong. It’s easier to get caught up in all the negative, go along with the complaining, listen to and accept the fears others are throwing out. Yet, where will that lead you? How will you be able to move forward with that negativity?

The most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself. Are you going to offer your friends, family, colleagues etc. words of encouragement and hope? Are you willing to find your own truth and facts OR are you going to go along with the crowd? Are you willing to learn, grow, and find gratitude in all that you have OR are you going to fall into the easy trap of fear, negativity, and complaining?

Motivational leaders such as Jim Rohn, John Maxwell, and even Robert Kiyosaki will tell you that you are who you surround yourself with. If you surround yourself with negative, glass half empty and critical of everything and everyone then that’s who you will become. On the other hand, if you surround yourself with people who are about giving to others, who are about adding value to others, who are grateful even for the little things then that’s what you become.

What do you choose? What will you focus on? After all, it is a choice and it is in your control.

Book Suggestion: The Go-Giver by Bob Burg and John David Mann

Quote: “Sometimes it’s better to be kind than to be right. We do not always need an intelligent mind that speaks, just a patient heart that listens.”

The Power of Reflection

Hello my dear friends. It has now been about seven weeks since I wrote last. As I stated on January 10^th, I’ve been using this time for a deeper reflection into my goals and plan of action to make 2018 THE best year yet. I have gone back and reviewed my own thinking over the past two years with many ah ha moments, many celebrations, and also many areas to continue working on with more focus.

Thanks to Byron Schrag, a mentor of ours in our business, challenged many of us to establish a new and consistent routine that included: (1) beginning the day with a list of gratitudes, (2) write out on 3X5 cards affirmations, (3) read something from the Bible, and (4) read for 30 minutes in a personal development book. In addition, I added reading the daily entry from a book called The Power of Being Thankful by Joyce Meyer and writing down my thoughts in a notebook when there was something I needed to get down on paper. That was not a daily activity only when I felt a need to write and reflect.

To hold myself accountable, I made up a chart listing each action and then the date. This started on January 8^th and I’m still going. I found that I have gone every day since the beginning with each of the actions listed above except for reading the 30 minutes each day. I missed two days without reading and there were 3 days of reading only 15 minutes. As with most things, habits come around the 21-day mark, and I must admit that I now look forward to this quiet time each day. It’s usually the time after working out, eating breakfast, and getting ready for the day. Sometimes it’s later because of a morning commitment. What’s interesting is that I find myself making sure that these all get done each day even if it means staying up a little later.

During this time, there have been far more days with positive thoughts and actions and much fewer days of questioning my purpose. I think that’s because my mindset is stronger and with Byron’s encouragement and support. I have been able to keep my emotions more level with fewer roller coaster times. My mindset has become stronger, I think, because of the daily activities I have set up on a consistent basis.

There are a couple entries in the Power of Being Thankful book which I read every day beside the daily entry. Here are a few I want to share; you can decide if they have any meaning for you:

January 14^th “If we are impatient, the situations we encounter in life will certainly cause us to react emotionally…Getting upset will not make this go any faster, so I might as well enjoy the wait.”

January 21^st “It is very important to focus on the right things…Whatever we focus on becomes magnified in our minds…Instead of meditating on our problems, we would be wise to meditate on God’s word.”

January 23^rd “Everyone needs a blessing. We all need to be encouraged, edified, complimented, and appreciated. And you have the ability to bless others. Be thankful that God not only blesses you, but that He has made YOU a blessing. We all get weary at times and need other people to let us know that we are valuable and appreciated…Remember, everyone needs a blessing—even the successful people who appear to have everything. When you live to meet needs and encourage those around you, you will find ‘joy unspeakable’ in the process.”

Feb. 9^th “We all fight battles and face the temptation to stop fighting and just give up, but commitment is the thing that enables us to resist that temptation…When you fiercely commit to God’s purpose for your life, you will begin to experience all that He has for you.”

There are several others, however, you can get a flavor for what this daily reading has done to contribute to a more consistent and positive mindset.

With our country and even our world in such a challenging time, this short respite has given me a chance to reassess where I want to put my time, energy, and focus. I think one of my main purposes on this earth is to learn, grow, and expand myself in order for me to make a difference in other people’s lives. Each day I ask myself, “What can I do to add value to someone today?” and “What can I do to make myself more valuable today?” At the end of the day before going to bed, I have a time of gratitude for things that day, and I answer those two questions.

I plan to continue to write my blogs once again at least twice a month. If you are still wanting to be a part of this email list, you will not need to do anything. If you are not wanting to receive them, there is an unsubscribe link.

My focus with each blog is to: (1) share personal stories and reflections which you will hopefully find at least one or two nuggets to apply to your own life, (2) have a positive mindset of encouragement, and (3) at times challenge you.

Book Suggestion: The Image by Chris Widener

Quote: “Capacity is a state of mind. How much we can do depends on how much we think we can do. When you really believe you can do more, your mind thinks creatively and shows you the way.”

I wish you time for your own reflection.

It's 2018

Happy New Year! It is 2018!

Isn’t the first thing that comes to mind when you look at the new year…Where did this last year go?

That’s a pretty common thought no matter what age. You’re either reflecting on all the things you accomplished, all the new, positive changes, and excitement about another year moving forward,

OR

you find yourself, once again, in the exact same place as you were a year ago.

Every year starts out with new dreams and goals; new resolutions about your health, your finances, your relationships, and your job.

Every year begins with energy and focus. Every year begins with a new commitment to change. And like every year you allow; procrastination, excuses, and life get in the way to steal those dreams and goals.

Time keeps moving forward – it’s the one thing that will never procrastinate. We either live our lives with the attitude of, “I wish I had,” or “I’m glad I did.” How many more years are you going to live with the attitude of regret and “I wish I had?”

We’ve all heard the phrase, “Opportunity knocks.” Here’s a full quote, “Too often, the opportunity knocks, but by the time you push back the chain, push back the bolt, unhook the two locks and shut off the burglar alarm, it's too late.”

Think about that word…opportunity.

The dictionary definition of opportunity is, “a set of circumstances that makes it possible to do something.” The key word is DO. That equates to action.

If you’ve tried setting new goals or resolutions each year but have been unsuccessful, wouldn’t it seem that you need to approach things differently this time? Some of you were successful last year because you chose to set goals each month, not a full year. You worked out for 4 straight weeks, you saw a little bit of results and decided to go another 4 weeks. Now a habit was formed, you saw even more results and you went another, then another, then another 4 weeks and it became a top priority in your daily routine.

Some of you took the advice of starting a Christmas fund last year. You set up a budget for your Christmas spending, you opened a savings account, and you put money into that account each month throughout the year. When it came time to pay for Christmas gifts; even when you found something in September, you had the money! Christmas time was not a financial stressor!

Instead of looking at change as a negative…take a different mindset. Change brings opportunity. If you’re not willing to do something different, why would you expect to have a different outcome? Maybe you’re comfortable with the “same old – same old” attitude. Consider yourself part of the 95%.

Think about some of these quotes:

Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them.
Anonymous

“If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity but you are not sure you can do it, say yes – then learn how to do it later!” “Opportunity does not waste time with those who are unprepared.” “Opportunities will come and go, but if you do nothing about them, so will you.

Opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss. Seize the moment
Anonymous

God will supply us with the opportunity, but it's up to us to do something with it.
Anonymous

Who’s wanting to do something different with their life? Who’s wanting to be part of the 3-5% who will make changes in their life? The 95% only know how to blame, complain and defend their actions as to why they aren’t losing weight, why they don’t have money, why they don’t get a promotion, why they don’t have any close relationships.

What’s in your control? What ACTION will you take? What are you willing to do to take advantage of all the opportunities that may come your way this year? What ACTIONS will you take to make life different for yourself this next year?

Once again will you allow others to take over? Will you allow yourself to get distracted? Will you allow yourself to give yourself excuses once again?

 

OR

Will you put yourself and your goals as your top priority in 2018? Will you recognize that others’ priorities aren’t yours so you move on? Will you recognize a distraction and stay on a straight path? Will you eliminate excuses and blaming for once and stay on the path you have set for yourself?

You do realize this is YOUR life and YOU are in CONTROL!

I wish you a week of recognizing opportunities and a week of taking action.

What's On Your Adult Christmas List?

Last week, I wished you a week of reflection, peace, and observation. I hope you are making yourself a priority and getting in some personal, quiet time!

Two things caught my attention this week. First, we ask the kids to make up their list for Santa. What about an adult list? Second, I heard Tim McGraw’s song, “Always Stay Humble and Kind.” With these two in my head, here are my thoughts for the week.

If you haven’t heard Tim McGraw’s song, the gist is what actions to take to always stay humble and kind. Some of his references are:

         Visit Grandpa and Grandma every chance you can - it won’t be a waste of time.

         Hold the door.

         Say please and thank you.

         Don’t lie, cheat, or steal.

         When work put in is realized, let yourself feel pride.

         Don’t expect a free ride from anyone.

         Don’t hold a grudge or have a chip on your shoulder as bitterness keeps you from       flying.

         Know the difference between sleeping with someone and sleeping with someone you love.

         Don’t take for granted the love this life gives you.

         When you get where you’re going, don’t forget to look back and help the next one in line.

         And always remember to stay humble and kind.

With this song in mind, I started to develop my own adult Christmas list remembering to always stay humble and kind.

Dear Santa,

This is what I want for this Christmas season and for 2018:

         Continue with my good health. I promise to continue working out at least six days a week.

         More special times with my 90 year old mom especially sharing stories of when she       was little.

Continue my experiences with all 7 of our grandchildren and pictures to commemorate our times together!

         Continue my daily gratitude for each day spent with Jon.

         Enjoy each beautiful sunrise and sunset, never taking it for granted.

Continue to be appreciative for the little things – making sure please and thank you are always a part of my appreciation.

To always enjoy each moment, to be present and not miss what is happening.

To spend more time reflecting on what I need to do to be a better person for me – not comparing myself to others.

Continue to read at least one book a month.

Continue to look for ways to make life better for someone else each day.

Continue to learn and grow in my physical, emotional, and spiritual life.

Continue to smile, have sincere conversations with friends and family without any phone interruptions.

Continue to look for information and be informed based on facts not what is being construed as fact on social media.

Continue to support and encourage our WorldVentures team in all they are doing to build their own business. 

Always remember the true meaning of Christmas – to keep Christ in Christmas.

Keep this feeling of positive, loving, grateful, and healthy attitude each day throughout the year.

I wish you a week of enjoying your family and friends. I will not be posting a blog on the 26^th, as I also plan to be enjoying my family.

Merry Christmas to each of you. I appreciate your friendship throughout the year.

          

        

        

Does Your Life Reflect Your Values?

Last week I wished you a week of reflecting on your priorities for the rest of this holiday season and for the priorities you set for yourself to guide you in your thoughts and actions throughout this holiday. How are you doing? Have you allowed time for yourself to truly enjoy being present and taking in each moment? OR are you telling yourself the same thing you tell yourself every year…I’ll do that next year.

There are times it’s very difficult to be positive when there is so much divisiveness in our world. You can’t read a newspaper, turn on the news, or turn on the radio when you aren’t hearing the anger and frustration people are venting. I’m reading an article about “The Problem of Identity Politics and Its Solution,” which is fascinating. In my opinion, we are more divided along racial, ethnic, gender, and religious lines than at any other time I can remember.

The colleges and universities, businesses etc. want us to be identified as belonging to a specific group, the media breaks down the demographics in specific groups, the entertainment world does the same. If we disagree with a particular line of thinking, we’re called “racist” or “homophobic” or “misogynist” etc. More labels. It’s not acceptable to have differing viewpoints. 

Even during this holiday season, we are bombarded with what is and isn't acceptable. What? According to who? 

I live in Boulder and Boulder has always been known to others in Colorado as more “out there” and “doing its own thing.” It’s often referred to as the “Republic of Boulder.” There’s definitely some truth to that and like anything else there are the pluses and minuses. Yet, I see the “group think” much more prevalent in this area than what I remember when I moved here 42+ years ago.

Yet, then I go to Ulysses, Kansas or Okawville, Illinois and I see the small, Midwest towns that continue to have the values I remember growing up with in Iowa. Okawville has their yearly Wheat Festival with a parade, carnival, and families young and old gather in the park. There are USA flags waving, the police, fire and first responders are all part of the parade being cheered as they drive down main street.

There are school programs, during the holidays, that sing Christmas carols and have  Christmas decorations on display. The national anthem is played at all sporting events and people stand with their hand over their hearts and caps are removed. Young children are taught to stop and pay attention.

These are hard working families that depend on the land for their livelihood. These are families; young and old, that aren’t spending their days worried about what name should go on the bathroom doors. These are people celebrating our country’s history and working to make life better for each person no matter their race or religion. These communities don’t think twice that a Nativity scene is on the front lawn of the Court House. There is a definite, true sense of community.

I say all this because I’m making it my own personal mission, to stay in touch with the values I grew up with and the values I see my children have passed on to my grandchildren. A key value is what God has taught all of us which is “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” Those values, for me, include saying Merry Christmas to the clerk checking me out at the grocery store or the barista making my coffee. Those values also include personal relationship time. That may be having coffee to catch up, enjoying time with family and friends without cell phones ringing. It’s those times playing games, putting together puzzles, making fudge or holiday goodies together because it’s the conversations that happen doing those activities that are so memorable.

It’s also my personal mission to pay attention to my environment. I “hide” anything on my FB or Twitter pages that have any negative political commentary and definitely there can be NO foul language. If I want a political conversation I will talk with you one on one. There is a definite difference in areas of our country and what people believe. That’s always been the case, however, it’s much more apparent because of the media, entertainment world, social media, and the identity politics. Instead of conversations, we seem to be far more into name calling, threats, and fear mongering. 

I hope and pray that you will take a sincere and realistic view of your life this past year. Each year we talk about doing things differently. Each year we make new resolutions for a change in our health, finances, relationships etc. I hope that also will include asking yourself if you're leading the life that God has created for you or are outside influences taking control of what you think and your actions? Have you been caught up in "group think" at work? in your social group? in your church group? in your politics? 

“Change can be scary, but you know what is even scarier? It’s allowing FEAR to stop you from GROWING, EVOLVING, and PROGRESSING.” It's the "group think" that has more control over you than knowing what is really The Best You.

It’s December 12^th, 2017. There are 13 days until Christmas and 19 days until New Year’s Eve. At that time another year has passed by. My prayer for you, no matter your age, is that you will take stock in what is important to you in ALL areas of your life, and you will make changes where changes are needed. Life is way too short. I pray you do not have another year of same old-same old because you “don’t have time.”

I pray for you to have gratitude in your heart and that you rise above the negativity and hate which can be overwhelming. A great quote I read recently said, 

“Positive thinking is not expecting the best all the time but accepting whatever happens is the best for the moment.”

I wish you a week of reflection, peace, and observation.

Tis the Season to Be Jolly - REALLY?

Last week, I wished you a week of deciding your PRIORITIES for this holiday season. The goal is to make a difference for yourself THIS year! This first step could be what “winning in life” means to you through your ACTIONS! What will you list as all your successes come January 1^st, 2018?

21 days of a consistent behavior done repeatedly each day will create a habit. Three weeks ago, I challenged you to take on an attitude of GRATITUDE. How many of you took that challenge? I’d love to hear your thoughts and reflections. Each day I read my niece Kelly’s gratitude for the day as she posts it on Facebook. Good way for accountability. She’s been doing this for over a year…do you think she could ever stop now? NO WAY! It’s beyond a habit. Now it’s a part of her daily routine.

Gratitude is a powerful mindset. It’s also a way of keeping us observant and sensitive to all that is good versus the negative. Unfortunately, that negative voice seems to be the loudest, and we seem to listen to it more. NOT, however, if you have a grateful mindset that is a habit.

This week, I want to reference a commencement address that Brian Dyson, CEO of Coca Cola gave several years ago yet applies even today -  especially during this holiday season.

“Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them work, family, health, friends, and spirit – and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – family, health, friends, and spirit – are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.”

Remember that word BALANCE? Even during the next few weeks with all that is on our plate to be ready for the holiday, the word BALANCE is even more challenging than usual. Yet, it’s also THE most important word to keep in mind especially now.

Here are a few suggestions on how you might BALANCE things this holiday season and beyond:

1.    Avoid comparing yourself to others. This only undermines your own sense of self-worth. It’s ok to have store bought cookies at a cookie exchange.

2.    Set goals that work for you NOT what others deem important. You are the only one who knows what is best for you. Be careful when you’re finding what others are saying does not coincide with YOUR goals.

3.    Avoid taking for granted what is closest to your heart. That includes family, friends, your home, your children etc. Are your actions reflecting your priorities?

4.    Live your life one day at a time! Be present and enjoy each moment. That means not going through your “to do” list in your head while you’re “listening” to your child’s music program.

5.    Haven’t we all heard,”I don’t remember what I got for Christmas, but I do remember the memories and experiences we created together?” Keep that in mind when you’re shopping and stressing out about finding THE perfect gift.

6.    Give yourself permission to be late in sending out Christmas cards if that is a stressor for you. I remember sending them out in July when I was teaching and people loved it. I got more responses since people had time to sit down and read my letter.

7.    Keep in mind that a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated. That might be a tip or special food item for your mail carrier, beautician, milkman etc.

8.    Even the UPS and FedEx guys/gals who work long hours and days during this season could use a few smiles of appreciation. It could be as simple as opening the door and saying thank you when they bring the packages or a gift certificate for coffee/tea.

9.    The easiest way to show appreciation is to have a constant mindset of patience, a smile, and a thank you when in a long line, on the phone, in a crowd or in traffic.

10. Remember EVERYONE is busy and EVERYONE has their own TO DO list. Yours isn’t THE most important. 

Be ok with saying NO to something that will not add value to your goals and desires for the holiday season.

11. LET GO of having everything perfect! YOU will be the only one who notices. What people WILL notice is if you’re stressed out, short tempered, and frowning.

12. Remember the TRUE meaning of Christmas or Hanukah.

13. Take 15 minutes of quiet time every day! Surround yourself with music that you love and relaxes you, read from an uplifting book, or just sit and “be.”

What will you think and feel after this holiday season on January 2^nd 2018? Will you be exhausted, worried about how you’ll pay the bills that are already coming in, and “swear” that you’ll do things differently next year? OR will you have beautiful memories of the people and the fun times together, you stayed within the budget you set, and you’re feeling pleased with how everything went this season?

I wish you a week of reflecting on your priorities for the rest of this holiday season and for the priorities you set for yourself to guide you in your thoughts and actions throughout this holiday.