Do You Take Time to THINK?

This past week did you take the time to reflect on what you stand for as you live your daily life? What is your “body of work” as you create your own pedigree?

There’s so much going on in all of our lives between work, raising our children, demands on our time with commitments, the basics of keeping up a house, and the yard. Oh yes, and then there are our relationships with our spouse/significant other, our family, friends etc., keeping up with our personal health, our spiritual lives, etc. etc. etc. There’s a continuous feeling of being on a treadmill, a feeling of being pulled in so many different directions, and never feeling like we’re in control of anything. Sound familiar?

I remember those days of having so many demands on my time and feeling overwhelmed. I also wasn’t the most patient, and I felt inadequate at home and at school. I wish I had known more about the idea of prioritizing versus trying to be all things to everyone. Everyone that is except me. I knew I was better when I had some alone time to gather my thoughts, but I wasn’t very good about actually doing that. Of course, what do they tell all of us on the airplane? “Put the oxygen mask on yourself FIRST and then on your child.” What a concept.

We have more of a tendency to think we’re being selfish if we do take time for ourselves, yet that’s exactly what we need to do. Take more advice from Urban Meyer and his Above the Line book. “When you’re feeling out of control, things aren’t going right, and you’re feeling overwhelmed… (1) SLOW DOWN (2) Go deep, and (3) Figure out why. Remember it’s all about prioritizing our time since we all have 24 hours in a day.

“It’s very easy in this world we live in to get so caught up in the tyranny of the urgent that we don’t make time to THINK.” We all have distractions that pull us away from reflecting on the issues and challenges in our lives. Interestingly enough Dan Gilbert, founder of Quicken Loans and owner of the Cleveland Cavaliers says, “THINKING about problems, challenges, new ways of doing things, and creativity is one of the hardest things we will ever do yet it brings the best results. Most people prefer to play it safe, not rock the boat, and never stray far from the status quo.”

How many people do you know who went to good schools and got good grades yet had a difficult time THINKING outside the box, couldn’t THINK on their feet, and had difficulty adjusting to change? We have such a focus, in our schools, on testing and grades. I’m not opposed to testing, but what we’re forcing teachers to do is to teach facts that can be regurgitated on a test. In today’s internet world, our students can Google the facts. What we need to be doing is teaching problem solving skills, applying the facts to a real life situation or problem, teaching alternative ways to view a problem, teaching communication skills to deal with conflicts and teaching how to reach a common goal. We need to be teaching our children to THINK!

“As it says in Proverbs, iron sharpens iron. Out of the sharpening process come better ideas and more committed performance. I don’t want yes-men around me I want people who’ve thought stuff through and are bringing it to me to make things better,” according to Meyer. It’s amazing to me the number of people in this country who are clueless as to how to talk with different generations, how to communicate thoughts and feelings that are different than what they’ve read on Twitter or Facebook. It’s amazing to hear people only have someone else’s thoughts versus any original ideas. They don’t know how to THINK on their own. When challenged they don't know how to respond because the answer wasn't truly their own. Have we gotten to a point of graduating a generation of people who are of the “group think” mentality? They’re wanting more to look like everyone else, sound like everyone else, and not rock the boat.

I remember people like John Maxwell and Jim Rohn stating that it’s one thing to teach people what to THINK, but teaching people HOW to THINK is altogether different. If we want to be able to be the best we can be as an individual living life “above the line,” it’s critical we have a quiet time to THINK.  According to William Deresiewicz, an author and essayist who gave a lecture at the U.S. Military Academy at West Point titled “Solitude and Leadership” pointed out that true leadership comes from within. “It comes from a deep introspection into your beliefs. But if you can’t put aside distractions long enough to be alone in reflection, formulate your own ideas and opinions, then you are handicapping your ability to THINK, make decisions, and lead.”

I would contend that each of us is a leader in all areas of our lives. We can either be a positive leader or a negative leader in our own home, with our spouse and our children, in our jobs, in our extracurricular activities etc. We can be a leader by learning, growing, and being a positive role model or we can be a leader of what NOT to do.  

Whatever it is you’re working on professionally or personally, there’s no doubt that being effective requires each of us to THINK independently. In order to THINK, there needs to be clarity of purpose, and we need to be clear on our priorities. How can we do that if we’re not giving ourselves time to THINK and have a “deep introspection into our beliefs?”

INVEST  time to THINK. Make this a priority. THINK deeply, originally, creatively. Challenge yourself to THINK outside the box. Don’t settle for just getting by because you don’t put energy into the time it takes to THINK! “When things aren’t going right, the most important thing you can do is to (1) SLOW DOWN, (2) Go deep within yourself, and (3) figure out why.”

To take time to THINK, you must be willing to prioritize the time you need for QUIET, no distractions with your phone beeping with every new message, no checking Facebook or Twitter, no interruptions from ANYONE. That means committing time to YOU, time to reflect, time to THINK.”

“Most people don’t lead their own lives…they accept their lives,” says John Kotter, professor of leadership at Harvard Business School. Don’t be the one living a passive life. It’s your choice as to how you approach your life at ANY age. If you focus on preparing and being better each and every day you’re being proactive. If you THINK about your life you are being proactive.

I wish you a time to THINK this week. Set aside time to THINK about what is going well in your life, what do you want to change?  THINK outside the box, THINK creatively, and THINK originally.

  

What is Your Pedigree?

For us to achieve exceptional results in our personal lives, our health, our emotional and spiritual health, our jobs, our relationships we must learn to consistently live Above the Line to act purposefully, intentionally, and skillfully when it matters most.

Were you able to reflect this past week on your Above the Line behavior and consciously avoid BCD?  I hope so as this is a huge part of helping ourselves, our families, and all those around us to be the best they can be.

Many years ago, I remember Eddie Crowder; former Oklahoma qb standout, CU head coach, and also CU athletic director told our son, who was going into coaching, to pay attention to someone’s pedigree. Pedigree? What was Eddie talking about? He was referring to looking at the people we surround ourselves with and what they stand for. Were they people of honor and integrity? Were they role models for others? Did they learn something on a daily basis, and did they own up to their mistakes?

Looking at someone’s “pedigree” isn’t just in the coaching field. Haven’t we all established some sort of “pedigree” of our own throughout our lives? Our pedigree includes our words, actions, and the path we have followed in all areas of our lives. We have all put together a “body of work” throughout our lifetime whether we’re 16, 26, 46, 66+ to create our own pedigree.

I can definitely say that my “body of work” has changed over the years as experience, maturity, and life lessons have been a part of my learning and growing. In my younger years, I was far more interested in pleasing others and not paying attention to my inner voices.  I know some of my actions were “Below the Line,” and I did spend much more time blaming, complaining, or defending my actions (BCD). I definitely didn’t embrace my intuitive strengths until later in life. I was surrounded by people who only thought facts were important, feelings didn’t count, and therefore, I perceived myself as “less.”

When we’re young we are trying to establish ourselves whether it’s as a student, as an athlete, in our jobs, as a professional, as a parent etc. etc. I think, at a younger age, we’re far more interested in what others think of us. We are far more vulnerable to the bullying, the “competition,” and to fit a certain image. Many of us are not comfortable in our own skin and are therefore, much more susceptible to the “trying to fit in” mind set.  

On top of a natural sense of learning about who we are at our core, add to that the additional stress brought on by all the social media challenges. People are very quick to judge, comment on things that have no relevance to their life but they have to make a statement, and MANY are done anonymously. People hide behind that anonymity and have some sort of a need to make a derogatory comment about someone or something. Really? Is that the only thing they can do with their time?

I’m not talking about stating your own opinion about something you believe in such as standing when we hear the national anthem. Much was posted on FB and Twitter about Colin Kaepernick’s choice to sit during the national anthem before a pre-season game. Social media definitely took off with that and people weighed in with their opinions. That part, I have no problems with. What I do have a problem with is the name calling, the horrible comments layered with expletives, and so much more. Now that everything goes viral things are given attention that never would have a few years ago.

I am definitely very proud to be an American. I don’t agree with Collin but I feel he has the right to do and say what he wants as long as it isn’t harmful to someone else. Unfortunately, he’s getting a lot of attention because of the internet and social media. What I would ask of all of us is to take our frustrations and criticisms and take action that will be solution oriented. We have the freedom to do something that will make a difference.

The challenges our children have in raising our grandchildren is far more complex because of this viral world. Can’t part of our pedigree be modeling and teaching others about community service, donating our money and/or time to a cause, and giving back to others less fortunate? Isn’t that far more effective than posting hateful words and threats on the internet? Isn't teaching our children to be proactive and solution oriented more effective than criticism and hurtful comments?

So how do we help our children, grandchildren, and even ourselves establish a “pedigree” that will establish a strong, healthy mindset and a strong, healthy “body of work” which will create a world we all want to live in and be a part of?

First and foremost, we must take action, on a daily basis, to live a set of core values that are important to each of us. For me, those core values are focused on living a life “Above the Line.” That means stepping up and taking action with a specific intent, a specific purpose, and without any BCD. Something that Urban Meyer wrote in his book, Above the Line, really spoke to me,

“Relentless effort (not talent or intelligence) is the key to achieving great things in life. Struggle is a part of the process. It is hard and painful. But it’s also necessary, because it’s in the struggle that great things are achieved. Do you decide what to do based on what is comfortable and convenient, or based on what is productive and necessary? Following your passion isn’t always 100% pleasurable. Sometimes it means doing things you don’t want to do for the sake of achieving your goals.”

I would challenge you to think about the “body of work” you have put together over the years to create your own pedigree. Do you have a set of core values that are Above the Line? Do you use social media to benefit others? Do you never do something anonymously? Do you have opinions that you’re comfortable “voicing” yet also understand that it’s ok for others to disagree with you? Do you stand up for someone who’s being bullied, harassed, or being targeted? Do you live your life with a purpose? Do you stop yourself every time you find yourself falling into the blaming, complaining, or defending your actions instead of taking ownership for something you said or did?

Once again, I wish you a week of reflection on what you stand for as you live your daily life. What is your “body of work” as you create your own pedigree?

Live Your Life Above the Line

In your reflection last week, who did you decide you can have a positive influence on each and every day?

There has been a letdown in our house after watching a lot of the Olympic action over the past two weeks. I am continually amazed at the talent, the skills, and the sense of pride to be an American which came out time and time again throughout the games. God Bless America!

My latest read is once again from a book that Jason read and even had all his coaches read before this new season. It’s called Above the Line by Urban Meyer. It’s a book on “lessons of leadership and life from a championship season.” The take away is far more than just a football book. It’s a book about life and creating a culture of leadership that is above anything else I’ve ever read.

Meyer is extremely candid about his struggles of balancing football and life in general. The key ingredient for him to change, even after all his successes, was because he was coachable himself and willing to learn and grow.  Leaders are learners.

“Leadership is based on trust that has been earned.” Successful leaders earn trust, set clear standards, and then equip and inspire people to meet those standards. With this definition in mind, who would you say are the leaders you surround yourself with on a regular basis? I know I was fortunate enough to have a principal, my last 15 years of teaching, who was a true leader and was a role model for learning, growing, and inspiring others to meet the clear standards he set.

On the other hand, I have also experienced those who want to be a leader solely on their title. It was because of that title, position, etc. that others were to respect that person, follow their lead, never challenge what the “leader” said. They were usually ones that were not open to learning and growing. These are usually the same people who fight change, fear those that bring on a different mindset, and do their best to squelch anything that wasn’t his/her idea.

I celebrated when I saw that in Urban’s book he stated, “Honesty is one of our core values at Ohio State. Honesty and its first cousin, accountability, are the heart of what we do, and that goes for everybody, staff, and players alike.” Hmmm…I’m not sure we have our politicians and other “leaders” who would be able to state that honesty and accountability is their core value, however, isn’t that why we are struggling as a nation? Isn’t getting back to our basic core values what people are wanting in today’s world?

Purpose is what should be driving all that we do. According to Meyer, “without it, you can work hard and do all sorts of things right and still not get the results you want.” We saw an example of purpose with every event we watched on the Olympics. These athletes worked hard for 4+ years in order to reach the goal of being at the Olympics in the first place. Their focus and purpose was to win a gold medal. Did each person win a gold medal? Of course not, but that purpose was a driving factor.

I was very proud of athletes like Carrie Walsh-Jennings and April Ross, the sand volleyball duo. Despite the loss to Brazil and the chance to go for the gold medal, they never lost their drive to do their very best despite the circumstances. If you watched that match, it was an unbelievable display of talent, grit, and a never give up attitude. They stood on the podium receiving a bronze medal with pride and excitement. Did they want the gold medal? Of course, but they understood they were still true to their core values and were proud to represent the United States of America that day.

Meyer makes sure that everything that is done both on and off the field has a purpose – NOTHING is accidental. How many of us can say that about our lives? Think about yesterday and your actions. Did you have a purpose with everything you did or did you find there was much done out of habit without any purpose? If you find you’re not purpose oriented, now’s the time to be willing to change and grow since that is truly the essence of life and leadership. After all, if we’re not growing we’re dying, according to Jim Rohn.

Meyer’s leadership consultant, Tim Knight’s teaching point states that it all begins with “Above the line” behavior. This behavior is intentional, on purpose, and skillful. To the contrary, “Below the line” behavior is impulsive, on autopilot, and resistant. This is dangerous because we become comfortable and it’s convenient.”  Eventually, this Below the Line thinking produces failure. How many times do we settle, or we’re used to doing something the same old way as it’s much harder to change and do something different.

As Urban states and I would agree, “Above the Line or Below the Line” is the most important choice we all make every day. Above the Line behavior is conscious and thoughtful – a choice made in alignment with our larger vision of where we want to go.”

Also according to Urban in his book,” It isn’t hard to find people who are caught up in Below the Line Behavior. All we have to do is look for those whose first reaction is to Blame (others), Complain (about circumstances), and Defend (yourself) or BCD.”

Knowing these three words of actions representing Below the Line behavior is a great way for each of us to check our own actions. It’s also a great way to teach our children and grandchildren that when we blame others, complain about circumstances, and defend our actions we are acting Below the Line. How powerful would this simple piece of advice help guide each of us in our own actions and be a role model for others?

“BCD has never solved a problem, achieved a goal, or improved a relationship. Stop wasting your time and energy on something that will never help you. ELIMINATE BCD from your life!”

“Getting and staying Above the Line is the foundation for success in anything we do. It does not come naturally. It must be taught and learned.” For us to achieve exceptional results in our personal lives, our health, our emotional and spiritual health, our jobs, our relationships we must learn to consistently live Above the Line to act purposefully, intentionally, and skillfully when it matters most.

I wish you a week of reflection on your Above the Line behavior and consciously avoiding BCD.