What is Your Pedigree?

For us to achieve exceptional results in our personal lives, our health, our emotional and spiritual health, our jobs, our relationships we must learn to consistently live Above the Line to act purposefully, intentionally, and skillfully when it matters most.

Were you able to reflect this past week on your Above the Line behavior and consciously avoid BCD?  I hope so as this is a huge part of helping ourselves, our families, and all those around us to be the best they can be.

Many years ago, I remember Eddie Crowder; former Oklahoma qb standout, CU head coach, and also CU athletic director told our son, who was going into coaching, to pay attention to someone’s pedigree. Pedigree? What was Eddie talking about? He was referring to looking at the people we surround ourselves with and what they stand for. Were they people of honor and integrity? Were they role models for others? Did they learn something on a daily basis, and did they own up to their mistakes?

Looking at someone’s “pedigree” isn’t just in the coaching field. Haven’t we all established some sort of “pedigree” of our own throughout our lives? Our pedigree includes our words, actions, and the path we have followed in all areas of our lives. We have all put together a “body of work” throughout our lifetime whether we’re 16, 26, 46, 66+ to create our own pedigree.

I can definitely say that my “body of work” has changed over the years as experience, maturity, and life lessons have been a part of my learning and growing. In my younger years, I was far more interested in pleasing others and not paying attention to my inner voices.  I know some of my actions were “Below the Line,” and I did spend much more time blaming, complaining, or defending my actions (BCD). I definitely didn’t embrace my intuitive strengths until later in life. I was surrounded by people who only thought facts were important, feelings didn’t count, and therefore, I perceived myself as “less.”

When we’re young we are trying to establish ourselves whether it’s as a student, as an athlete, in our jobs, as a professional, as a parent etc. etc. I think, at a younger age, we’re far more interested in what others think of us. We are far more vulnerable to the bullying, the “competition,” and to fit a certain image. Many of us are not comfortable in our own skin and are therefore, much more susceptible to the “trying to fit in” mind set.  

On top of a natural sense of learning about who we are at our core, add to that the additional stress brought on by all the social media challenges. People are very quick to judge, comment on things that have no relevance to their life but they have to make a statement, and MANY are done anonymously. People hide behind that anonymity and have some sort of a need to make a derogatory comment about someone or something. Really? Is that the only thing they can do with their time?

I’m not talking about stating your own opinion about something you believe in such as standing when we hear the national anthem. Much was posted on FB and Twitter about Colin Kaepernick’s choice to sit during the national anthem before a pre-season game. Social media definitely took off with that and people weighed in with their opinions. That part, I have no problems with. What I do have a problem with is the name calling, the horrible comments layered with expletives, and so much more. Now that everything goes viral things are given attention that never would have a few years ago.

I am definitely very proud to be an American. I don’t agree with Collin but I feel he has the right to do and say what he wants as long as it isn’t harmful to someone else. Unfortunately, he’s getting a lot of attention because of the internet and social media. What I would ask of all of us is to take our frustrations and criticisms and take action that will be solution oriented. We have the freedom to do something that will make a difference.

The challenges our children have in raising our grandchildren is far more complex because of this viral world. Can’t part of our pedigree be modeling and teaching others about community service, donating our money and/or time to a cause, and giving back to others less fortunate? Isn’t that far more effective than posting hateful words and threats on the internet? Isn't teaching our children to be proactive and solution oriented more effective than criticism and hurtful comments?

So how do we help our children, grandchildren, and even ourselves establish a “pedigree” that will establish a strong, healthy mindset and a strong, healthy “body of work” which will create a world we all want to live in and be a part of?

First and foremost, we must take action, on a daily basis, to live a set of core values that are important to each of us. For me, those core values are focused on living a life “Above the Line.” That means stepping up and taking action with a specific intent, a specific purpose, and without any BCD. Something that Urban Meyer wrote in his book, Above the Line, really spoke to me,

“Relentless effort (not talent or intelligence) is the key to achieving great things in life. Struggle is a part of the process. It is hard and painful. But it’s also necessary, because it’s in the struggle that great things are achieved. Do you decide what to do based on what is comfortable and convenient, or based on what is productive and necessary? Following your passion isn’t always 100% pleasurable. Sometimes it means doing things you don’t want to do for the sake of achieving your goals.”

I would challenge you to think about the “body of work” you have put together over the years to create your own pedigree. Do you have a set of core values that are Above the Line? Do you use social media to benefit others? Do you never do something anonymously? Do you have opinions that you’re comfortable “voicing” yet also understand that it’s ok for others to disagree with you? Do you stand up for someone who’s being bullied, harassed, or being targeted? Do you live your life with a purpose? Do you stop yourself every time you find yourself falling into the blaming, complaining, or defending your actions instead of taking ownership for something you said or did?

Once again, I wish you a week of reflection on what you stand for as you live your daily life. What is your “body of work” as you create your own pedigree?