Do You Participate in Groupthink?

Last week I wished you a continued week of THINKING and asking yourself the key question of WHY YOU stand for, believe in, and support something no matter what it is. How did that work for you? Did you take time and reflect on why you believe what you believe? I hope so.

I’m continually amazed at the number of people who are either too lazy or who are just not invested in their personal philosophy and what they stand for - in other words their own character. There are a number of people I come in contact with when asked WHY they feel a certain way, they’re either noncommittal or “regurgitate” something that someone else has said or something they read or something they heard on the news without questioning at all. Part of asking that WHY question is for each of us to think through what we individually stand for and believe in as a part of our personal philosophy.

It’s frustrating to realize that many people just seem to be unwilling to question let alone challenge much of anything in their life. It’s definitely easier to just keep doing the same old same old and never dig deeper. What’s easier is to just go along with the crowd. What that does is allow us to live a life “below the line”, as Urban Meyer says, when we are quick to use BCD – blame, complain, and defend (our actions.) John Maxwell in his book Today Matters says, “I believe that many people take thinking for granted. They see it as a natural function of life. But the truth is that intentional thinking isn’t commonplace. What you do every day in the area of thinking really matters because it sets the stage for all your actions, and it will bring either adversity or advantage.”

Part of the challenge we have from the very young to the elderly, is groupthink. According to Wikipedia, “Groupthink is a psychological phenomenon that occurs within a group of people in which the desire for harmony or conformity in the group results in an irrational or dysfunctional decision-making outcome. Group members try to minimize conflict and reach a consensus decision without critical evaluation of alternative viewpoints by actively suppressing dissenting viewpoints, and by isolating themselves from outside influences. YIKES!

This is exactly what happens to our young people especially in middle and high school. They are just formulating who they are and what they believe in so this is a particularly challenging time. They want to fit in, they want to be accepted for who they are, and they definitely don’t want to stand out or be different. Those that are not fitting the “mold” are often times the ones who are being bullied.

Many of our young people do not have a positive role model in their life to help ask questions, help them know their own why, to help guide them and learn to stand up for their own beliefs, and to know WHY they feel the way they do. As I wrote last week, the black educator who asked a student to know WHY he wanted to kneel during the National Anthem is exactly what we all should be doing…asking others to THINK and know their own personal WHY.

I hope each of us will pay attention to the power of intentional thinking but also the power of groupthink. I believe that groupthink is causing far more harm to individuals at any age. I see many women, personal opinion, that function out of a need for acceptance and are unwilling to rock the boat. Some of you will bristle with this statement and that’s ok. WHY are you bristling? Even with my fifth grade girls, we had discussions about groupthink. If two girls were angry with one another, the pattern was to see how many others one could get on one girl’s side to be against the other girl. It’s that “gang” mentality. We had to actively work on conflict resolution skills and draw attention to who owned the problem and who was just along for the ride. With a now adult daughter, this behavior continued in both middle school and high school, and I have seen it in adult women as well.

Boys and men have some of the same issues with groupthink but it manifests itself in a different way. The bottom line is that, “Groupthink requires individuals to avoid raising controversial issues or alternative solutions, and there is loss of individual creativity, uniqueness and independent thinking. The dysfunctional group dynamics of the "ingroup" produces an "illusion of invulnerability" (an inflated certainty that the right decision has been made). Thus the "ingroup" significantly overrates its own abilities in decision-making and significantly underrates the abilities of its opponents (the "outgroup"). Furthermore, groupthink can produce dehumanizing actions against the "outgroup", according to Wikipedia continued description of groupthink.

I spent a good portion of my life not feeling that my thoughts and beliefs were worth much since I wasn’t a fact oriented person. I am a person who operates on feelings and gut instincts. I know, at times, I was part of the crowd not wanting to stand out, but I also know I never went along with groupthink when it hurt someone else. I also know I can now celebrate who I am with pride. Do I sometimes “worry” what others think? Of course, that’s human nature. We either want control or we want to be accepted and often times we want to be accepted. Do I not do something because I worry what others will think? Sometimes, but not if it’s a passion or a moral conflict with who I am as a person.

I want to encourage each of you to invest the time to THINK, know WHY you have certain thoughts, feelings, beliefs etc., and to identify groupthink when you see it. That’s the time to ask questions, that’s the time to help guide others to understand their personal beliefs, and that’s the time for us to help our young people develop a true sense of themselves with pride! That’s also the time to support our friends, family, co-workers, fellow students, children and grandchildren to develop a healthy sense of THINKING. Urban Meyer states, “Make THINKING a priority. Leaders THINK deeply, ORIGINALLY, and often bravely.”

I wish you a week of finding opportunities to ask questions, finding opportunities to teach people HOW to think versus telling people what to think – too totally different approaches. I also wish you a week of identifying whether you are part of groupthink in some area of your life.

This past week I hope you took time to THINK. Did you set aside time to THINK about what is going well in your life? What do you want to change, or make better, or do more of? Do you find you are willing to THINK outside the box? Do you allow yourself time to THINK creatively, and THINK originally?

Especially in this time of protests about standing or sitting while the National Anthem is being sung, “celebrities” weighing in on their opinions, the news media having their “opinions” versus reporting in a neutral manner, our Facebook “friends” expressing their opinions etc. etc., are you THINKING about YOUR views based on YOUR core beliefs? Or are you going along with a particular viewpoint, but you don’t know WHY? Are you taking a particular stand because that’s what everyone else around you is thinking and you don’t want to rock the boat or “look” different?

In Terrence Woods’ radio show; Before You Go Pro, a couple weeks ago, he had three speakers on to give their reactions to Colin Kaepernick sitting during the National Anthem. It was a great discussion with various viewpoints and ethnic backgrounds of the speakers. Two things stood out to me; one was that each person had an opinion based on their own reality, there was a discussion, and it was a civil discussion. Secondly, the most poignant point that stood out to me was the position of the black educator at a high school when confronted with a student who came into his office who wanted to sit during the National Anthem at one of the upcoming sporting events. This true leader did not take a personal stand, however, asked questions and had a discussion with the student. His key question was to know the student’s WHY. What was the reason for this young man to sit? Did he truly have a reason or was he just following what he saw on TV?

Just by asking the question WHY to someone, no matter what the situation or issue, is the key point to true THINKING! So many of us, especially our iY generation young people, are listening to friends which now has become a “group think” rather than a true examination of a personal belief system, a true core of who we are as an individual.

I ask that everyone who is in a position as a coach, teacher, civic, employer, pastor etc. to take the time to help our young people develop their own core values and to know WHY they believe what they believe. When possible let’s have a dialog with our students, our athletes, and especially our children about their thoughts and learn WHY they feel the way they do. This takes TIME, it takes asking a lot of questions, and it means guiding from a position of neutrality without the interference of our own opinions and judgments. We may not always agree with what they end up with, however, isn’t that part of developing as a person?

We all have people in our sphere of influence who contribute to what we are thinking both positively and negatively. I ask that you THINK about who these people are and what kind of influence you are allowing them to have in your life. 

And just to be clear, it’s NOT just our iY generation! There are an abundance of adults who continue to want to please others which is their main WHY. That, in my personal opinion, is VERY sad and definitely NOT productive. I am a believer that we can all learn and grow starting with our mindset!! THINK! Ask yourself WHY!

The following is from October 14, 2014, “Forging Your Character,” by Jim Rohn,

Personal success is built on the foundation of character, and character is the result of hundreds and hundreds of choices you might make that gradually turn who you are at any given moment into who you want to be. If that decision-making process is not present, you'll still be somebody—you'll still be alive—but you may have a personality rather than a character, and to me that's something very different. Character isn't something you were born with and can't change, like your fingerprints. It's something you must take responsibility for forming. You build character by how you respond to what happens in your life, whether it's winning every game, losing every game, getting rich or dealing with hard times.

Building your character is vital to becoming all you can be.

I encourage you to THINK! I encourage you to know YOUR WHY in all that you do. After all, as Jim Rohn says, “You must take responsibility for forming your character.”

I wish you a continued week of THINKING and asking yourself the key question of WHY YOU stand for, believe in, and support something no matter what it is.

Do You Take Time to THINK?

This past week did you take the time to reflect on what you stand for as you live your daily life? What is your “body of work” as you create your own pedigree?

There’s so much going on in all of our lives between work, raising our children, demands on our time with commitments, the basics of keeping up a house, and the yard. Oh yes, and then there are our relationships with our spouse/significant other, our family, friends etc., keeping up with our personal health, our spiritual lives, etc. etc. etc. There’s a continuous feeling of being on a treadmill, a feeling of being pulled in so many different directions, and never feeling like we’re in control of anything. Sound familiar?

I remember those days of having so many demands on my time and feeling overwhelmed. I also wasn’t the most patient, and I felt inadequate at home and at school. I wish I had known more about the idea of prioritizing versus trying to be all things to everyone. Everyone that is except me. I knew I was better when I had some alone time to gather my thoughts, but I wasn’t very good about actually doing that. Of course, what do they tell all of us on the airplane? “Put the oxygen mask on yourself FIRST and then on your child.” What a concept.

We have more of a tendency to think we’re being selfish if we do take time for ourselves, yet that’s exactly what we need to do. Take more advice from Urban Meyer and his Above the Line book. “When you’re feeling out of control, things aren’t going right, and you’re feeling overwhelmed… (1) SLOW DOWN (2) Go deep, and (3) Figure out why. Remember it’s all about prioritizing our time since we all have 24 hours in a day.

“It’s very easy in this world we live in to get so caught up in the tyranny of the urgent that we don’t make time to THINK.” We all have distractions that pull us away from reflecting on the issues and challenges in our lives. Interestingly enough Dan Gilbert, founder of Quicken Loans and owner of the Cleveland Cavaliers says, “THINKING about problems, challenges, new ways of doing things, and creativity is one of the hardest things we will ever do yet it brings the best results. Most people prefer to play it safe, not rock the boat, and never stray far from the status quo.”

How many people do you know who went to good schools and got good grades yet had a difficult time THINKING outside the box, couldn’t THINK on their feet, and had difficulty adjusting to change? We have such a focus, in our schools, on testing and grades. I’m not opposed to testing, but what we’re forcing teachers to do is to teach facts that can be regurgitated on a test. In today’s internet world, our students can Google the facts. What we need to be doing is teaching problem solving skills, applying the facts to a real life situation or problem, teaching alternative ways to view a problem, teaching communication skills to deal with conflicts and teaching how to reach a common goal. We need to be teaching our children to THINK!

“As it says in Proverbs, iron sharpens iron. Out of the sharpening process come better ideas and more committed performance. I don’t want yes-men around me I want people who’ve thought stuff through and are bringing it to me to make things better,” according to Meyer. It’s amazing to me the number of people in this country who are clueless as to how to talk with different generations, how to communicate thoughts and feelings that are different than what they’ve read on Twitter or Facebook. It’s amazing to hear people only have someone else’s thoughts versus any original ideas. They don’t know how to THINK on their own. When challenged they don't know how to respond because the answer wasn't truly their own. Have we gotten to a point of graduating a generation of people who are of the “group think” mentality? They’re wanting more to look like everyone else, sound like everyone else, and not rock the boat.

I remember people like John Maxwell and Jim Rohn stating that it’s one thing to teach people what to THINK, but teaching people HOW to THINK is altogether different. If we want to be able to be the best we can be as an individual living life “above the line,” it’s critical we have a quiet time to THINK.  According to William Deresiewicz, an author and essayist who gave a lecture at the U.S. Military Academy at West Point titled “Solitude and Leadership” pointed out that true leadership comes from within. “It comes from a deep introspection into your beliefs. But if you can’t put aside distractions long enough to be alone in reflection, formulate your own ideas and opinions, then you are handicapping your ability to THINK, make decisions, and lead.”

I would contend that each of us is a leader in all areas of our lives. We can either be a positive leader or a negative leader in our own home, with our spouse and our children, in our jobs, in our extracurricular activities etc. We can be a leader by learning, growing, and being a positive role model or we can be a leader of what NOT to do.  

Whatever it is you’re working on professionally or personally, there’s no doubt that being effective requires each of us to THINK independently. In order to THINK, there needs to be clarity of purpose, and we need to be clear on our priorities. How can we do that if we’re not giving ourselves time to THINK and have a “deep introspection into our beliefs?”

INVEST  time to THINK. Make this a priority. THINK deeply, originally, creatively. Challenge yourself to THINK outside the box. Don’t settle for just getting by because you don’t put energy into the time it takes to THINK! “When things aren’t going right, the most important thing you can do is to (1) SLOW DOWN, (2) Go deep within yourself, and (3) figure out why.”

To take time to THINK, you must be willing to prioritize the time you need for QUIET, no distractions with your phone beeping with every new message, no checking Facebook or Twitter, no interruptions from ANYONE. That means committing time to YOU, time to reflect, time to THINK.”

“Most people don’t lead their own lives…they accept their lives,” says John Kotter, professor of leadership at Harvard Business School. Don’t be the one living a passive life. It’s your choice as to how you approach your life at ANY age. If you focus on preparing and being better each and every day you’re being proactive. If you THINK about your life you are being proactive.

I wish you a time to THINK this week. Set aside time to THINK about what is going well in your life, what do you want to change?  THINK outside the box, THINK creatively, and THINK originally.