Last week I wished you a
continued week of THINKING and asking yourself the key question
of WHY YOU stand for, believe in, and support something
no matter what it is. How did that work for you? Did you take time and
reflect on why you believe what you believe? I hope so.
I’m continually amazed at
the number of people who are either too lazy or who are just not invested in
their personal philosophy and what they stand for - in other words their own
character. There are a number of people I come in contact with when asked WHY they feel a certain way, they’re
either noncommittal or “regurgitate” something that someone else has said or
something they read or something they heard on the news without questioning at all. Part of asking that WHY question is for each of us to think
through what we individually stand for and believe in as a part of our personal philosophy.
It’s frustrating to
realize that many people just seem to be unwilling to question let alone challenge
much of anything in their life. It’s definitely easier to just keep doing the
same old same old and never dig deeper. What’s easier is to just go along with
the crowd. What that does is allow us to live a life “below the line”, as Urban
Meyer says, when we are quick to use BCD – blame, complain, and defend (our
actions.) John Maxwell in his book Today Matters says, “I believe that
many people take thinking for granted. They see it as a natural function of
life. But the truth is that intentional
thinking isn’t commonplace. What you do every day in the area of
thinking really matters because it sets the stage for all your actions, and it
will bring either adversity or advantage.”
Part of the challenge we have from the very
young to the elderly, is groupthink.
According to Wikipedia, “Groupthink is a psychological phenomenon that occurs within a group of people in which the desire for harmony or
conformity in the group results in an irrational or dysfunctional decision-making
outcome. Group members try to minimize conflict and reach a consensus decision
without critical
evaluation of
alternative viewpoints by actively suppressing dissenting viewpoints, and by
isolating themselves from outside influences. YIKES!
This is exactly what happens to our young people especially in
middle and high school. They are just formulating who they are and what they believe
in so this is a particularly challenging time. They want to fit in, they want
to be accepted for who they are, and they definitely don’t want to stand out or
be different. Those that are not fitting the “mold” are often times the ones
who are being bullied.
Many of our young people do not have a positive role model in
their life to help ask questions, help them know their own why, to help guide
them and learn to stand up for their own beliefs, and to know WHY they feel the
way they do. As I wrote last week, the black educator who asked a student to
know WHY he wanted to kneel during the National Anthem is exactly what we all
should be doing…asking others to THINK and know their own personal WHY.
I hope each of us will pay attention to the power of intentional thinking but also the
power of groupthink. I believe that
groupthink is causing far more harm to individuals at any age. I see many
women, personal opinion, that function out of a need for acceptance and are
unwilling to rock the boat. Some of you will bristle with this statement and that’s
ok. WHY are you bristling? Even with my fifth grade girls, we had discussions
about groupthink. If two girls were
angry with one another, the pattern was to see how many others one could get on
one girl’s side to be against the other girl. It’s that “gang” mentality. We
had to actively work on conflict resolution skills and draw attention to who
owned the problem and who was just along for the ride. With a now adult
daughter, this behavior continued in both middle school and high school, and I
have seen it in adult women as well.
Boys and men have some of the same issues with groupthink but it
manifests itself in a different way. The bottom line is that, “Groupthink
requires individuals to avoid raising controversial issues or alternative solutions, and
there is loss of individual creativity, uniqueness and independent thinking.
The dysfunctional group dynamics of the "ingroup" produces an "illusion of
invulnerability" (an inflated certainty that the right decision has been
made). Thus the "ingroup" significantly overrates its own abilities
in decision-making and significantly underrates the abilities of its opponents
(the "outgroup"). Furthermore, groupthink can produce dehumanizing
actions against the "outgroup", according to Wikipedia continued description of groupthink.
I
spent a good portion of my life not feeling that my thoughts and beliefs were
worth much since I wasn’t a fact oriented person. I am a person who operates on
feelings and gut instincts. I know, at times, I was part of the crowd not
wanting to stand out, but I also know I never went along with groupthink when it hurt someone else. I
also know I can now celebrate who I am with pride. Do I sometimes “worry” what
others think? Of course, that’s human nature. We either want control or
we want to be accepted and often times we want to be accepted. Do I not do
something because I worry what others will think? Sometimes, but not if it’s a
passion or a moral conflict with who I am as a person.
I
want to encourage each of you to invest the time to THINK, know WHY you have
certain thoughts, feelings, beliefs etc., and to identify groupthink
when you see it. That’s the time to ask questions, that’s the time to help
guide others to understand their personal beliefs, and that’s the time for us
to help our young people develop a true sense of themselves with pride! That’s
also the time to support our friends, family, co-workers, fellow students,
children and grandchildren to develop a healthy sense of THINKING. Urban Meyer states, “Make THINKING a priority. Leaders THINK
deeply, ORIGINALLY, and often
bravely.”
I
wish you a week of finding opportunities to ask questions, finding opportunities
to teach people HOW to think
versus telling people what to think – too totally different approaches.
I also wish you a week of identifying whether you are part of groupthink in some area of your life.
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