Living In Regrets Isn't Productive

Last week I encouraged you to continue with your 30 day goal, and to pay attention to your inner voice. For me, I am very happy with my goal of cutting down on the amount of extra sugar. There is a lot of information about having only 12 grams of sugar in a day, and one can of Coke has 14-16 grams alone! ("Energy” drinks are even worse!) I’m seeing results with how my clothes fit, and I’m definitely not needing a “fix” in the afternoons.  Hope you’re finding positive results as well.

This is the third week in January. Typically, this is the time people are starting to “get down in the dumps.” Some of it is the weather with the lack of sunshine and cold temperatures. It’s the time when those holiday bills are coming due, and you realize your spending was beyond your budget – that is if you even had a budget. It’s also the time when colds, flu, etc. seem to hit us since we’re back to a normal routine and our body is tired. Exercising is more of a challenge and easier to let go of, hence the decline in attendance at the gym.

For many reasons, then, it’s important to pay attention to our inner voice. Are you listening to that voice that says, “I’ll exercise tomorrow, I’m too tired today,” then you realize you’ve gone a whole week without exercising? Or have you truly decided that you’re going to stick to your 30 day goal no matter what? Are you back into those old habits OR are you willing to do something different in your life in 2016? Remember how fast 2015 flew by? Are you going to be in the same place a year from now or are you going to CHANGE?

This past Sunday I listened to Joel Osteen’s message about living in regrets. The bottom line was that regrets are not productive. Regrets are the past. Whatever you did, whatever you said it is no longer happening. Not only are you missing all the beauty in being present, but you also are not moving forward with these added burdens holding you back. As Joel stated, “You may be a product of your past, but you don’t have to be a prisoner of your past.” He continued with advising that we step out of WAS and step into IS. Personally, I find these incredibly powerful statements that make up a part of our inner voice. When you read about people who have grown up in horrible situations but have gone on to lead productive, successful lives, aren’t they examples of NOT allowing that negative inner voice to take over? These are people who are taking control and moving forward without excuses!

“You can’t move forward if you’re looking in the rear view mirror.” It takes more energy holding on to your mistakes, your guilt, your unhappiness then it does to let go of not understanding situations and trusting that things will get better.  That means you must stop talking about the negative, stop thinking about the negative and stop thinking of all that “they” did or said. That means you need to “bury” it. Put it all to rest, it’s the past. 

What we have a tendency to do is dig up those old offenses, the guilt, the hurt, and our unforgiving attitude. I love what Joel says about this. He states that when you bring up the past, it stinks. No one will want to be around you because of the negativity. You will begin to push people away as they don’t want to listen to the “same old – same old” and the “poor pitiful me” scenarios. Either you want something to change so you must take action OR you drop it. (And that DOES NOT mean you bury it and just don't talk about it any longer!That is definitely NOT dropping it.) People will only listen and support you for so long because if they hear the same thing over and over and see no action being taken to make a change, then they will eventually tune you out.

If you decide something isn’t worth your time and effort and you drop it, GREAT. That doesn’t mean you’re weak or that someone has gotten their way. What it means is you’re putting trust in God that new doors will open, and that you don’t want to spend your energy complaining and being negative. You’re finally willing to DROP IT and LET IT GO! I will tell you from personal experience, there is feeling of lightness and relief. It’s much easier to move ahead. Remember, the only person you can change is yourself, and part of that change is creating a positive inner voice.

Life is too short and your time is too valuable to live your life in the negative or with an “I should have…” second guessing mentality all the time. When you live with a lack of self- esteem, when you continuously bring back up all the things “done to you,” when year after year your frustration with a certain family member or friend increases, when someone is rude to you in the morning and you’re still angry about it at lunch time etc. STOP! When you carry your negative baggage, your anger, your fears, and your lack of self-esteem year after year, I would suggest that you’re only poisoning yourself and it’s only holding YOU back.

Drop it! Leave it behind! Let it go! Jim Britt shared his technique of letting go that has served me well on many occasions. Our emotions are energy in motion and when we don’t deal with the nonresourceful/negative emotions, we “stuff them.” Each time we bring them back up without any resolution, they become stronger. Picture an ice cube. It’s either sitting in your throat, your heart area, or your gut. When you’re willing to let go, state the emotion eg. anger, frustration, close your eyes and picture the ice cube melting away, slowly breathing in and out. You may have to do this several times but each time, picture the ice cube becoming smaller and smaller. This may sound a little “out there” but I can assure you it’s the only technique that has ever helped me get past some deep conflicts. It’s worth trying.

Letting go of the deeper conflicts and issues is like peeling an onion. You may think you have let go of something and yet it comes up in a different form. That’s ok. Go through the “letting go” process once again. You will know when you have put something behind you when you remember the situation, the experience, the conflict etc. and you no longer have any emotion attached. 

If you’re always trying to find the “why” that’s another toxic form of thinking, and you can’t move forward. Joel Osteen suggests having an “I don’t understand it file." Then trust that a higher power is in control of what you don’t understand and your job is to trust and let it go.

You can’t move forward and have a resourceful inner voice until you’re willing to realize you’ve been looking in the rear view mirror too long. You’ve been seeking an answer to why someone or something happened, or you haven’t been willing to make a change in your life, or the negative voices have had control.

Living in regrets isn’t productive. Are you willing to let go of things in the past and step into the present? You are a valuable person with many gifts to share with others. Turn your inner voice into “high fives,” “way to go,” “great job,” “I’ve learned something new and it’s working,” “I’m proud of myself,” etc. etc. Learn to let things go. Train your mind to move forward.

Here’s to a week of continuing your 30 day goals and to celebrating a new level of understanding the power of letting go and a resourceful inner voice.