NO to New Years Resolutions!

I hope the beginning of 2016 has found you reflecting on the special times with friends and family with a smile on your face. I hope you enjoyed those few extra days off so you could spend time with others. Now that the holidays are behind us are you now ready to get back into a “normal” routine with more optimism and energy?

While everything is still fresh in your mind, find 10 minutes to sit in front of your computer with a blank sheet of paper and title it…Christmas 2016.  First bullet point a list of the things that you did this year that you want to be sure to do again next year. Maybe it was a different timeline that allowed you to enjoy versus stressing out, maybe it was that spur of the moment shopping time with your spouse/significant other, maybe it was putting your Christmas card list on a spread sheet including addresses etc. etc. Next, list all those things that you will definitely NOT do again. Maybe you stayed up until late making the perfect cookies for the office party. If that’s still a good idea then start it earlier so there isn’t that last minute stress. Maybe there was a family member who you felt took advantage of you yet you didn’t stand up for yourself. If it’s important that you stand up for yourself then say something when the timing is better or the other choice is to just let it go. Like most things, we think we’ll remember but that usually isn’t the case. The last key point with this list is…print it off and put it with your Christmas items and specifically the ones you usually put out first such as the Advent calendar.

How many of you write down your New Year’s Resolutions every year? How many of you manage to keep those resolutions throughout January? February? The definition of resolution is “a firm decision to do or not do something.” The key word is firm. So how firm is your decision to lose weight, set up a Christmas account, not get pulled into family drama, exercise daily etc. or do you find yourself two weeks into the New Year, and you’re back to “same old-same old? Hmmm… I guess that it really wasn’t important enough to be a resolution. I go back to my niece, Kelly, who made a resolution – a firm and committed decision – to find happiness each day, post it, and do this for an entire year! That’s 365 days! AND she did it!! Now, whether or not she continues to post the happiness of the day from now on doesn’t matter. Don’t you think that that habit has been established and she will, without any effort at all, find happiness somewhere in each day?

Bob Harper, a trainer on The Biggest Loser, was interviewed on the Today Show recently. He stated that he hates New Year’s Resolutions! (I tend to agree with him.) When asked to elaborate he says, “No one ever keeps them, they never last. Resolutions set people up for failure.” Haven’t you seen all the ads to join a gym and lose all those pounds put on over the holidays? Ask any gym owner and they will tell you the registrations for either a new membership or a renewal is always the heaviest around the holidays. They will even tell you that if everyone came that had a membership they wouldn’t have enough room. The history of these gym memberships shows a huge influx of people the first two week, the third week the participation is less, and by the end of January or the middle of February the numbers are back down once again. We are “back to our old ways.”

Does that mean goal setting or changing our ways is a bad thing? OF COURSE NOT!! What it does mean is we all need to make our resolutions more manageable. Kelly first started her Days of Happiness by setting a goal of 100 days. That’s a little over three months. Since that was manageable, she re-framed her goal and made it into 365 days. DONE! Would she have made it to 365 days if that was the original goal? I don’t know. What I do know is she was successful with the goal of 100 days and a habit was already formed. Personally, after her 365 days of happiness observation, I don’t think she can ever go back. What about it, Kelly? Let me know.

Bob Harper, as well as others, advocate that our resolutions start with 30 days!  That’s manageable. That allows us to see an end without a lot of struggle. The other piece of this advice is that we focus on ONE thing during the month rather than a whole list! According to Bob, “The biggest mistake people make when they do make resolutions is they try to change too many things. That sets us up for failure as well. We need to give ourselves a break.” ONE change in 30 days!

What’s your ONE change YOU want to make for the next 30 days? Remember, this is a FIRM decision of something you know you need to do either for your own physical well-being, your emotional well-being, your spiritual well-being, in your relationships etc. A dear friend, Milt Branch, has a quote he tells young people as he mentors and teaches. I wrote it down as it’s a strong message that we can all learn from…

”You almost never fail because of something you don’t know, but you almost always fail because of something you know but you don’t do it when you know it should be done.”

Read that again and again. It’s incredibly powerful. We know we should exercise, but we have excuses why we can’t. We know we shouldn’t drink so many sugary drinks, but they’re accessible and quick. We know we should pay attention to thanking people for even the little things, but it isn’t a habit so we don’t do it. We know we should eat more vegies, but we don’t do it because we don’t like them. We know we should sit down and ask our spouse/significant other about their day, but we’re too busy checking FB, emails, Twitter etc. We know we need to set up a system for the Christmas fund so we aren’t scrambling to pay a big bill in January, but we don’t do it. The list can go on and on.

The question comes down to, “What are you willing to do for 30 days to make a change in your life that will not only benefit you personally but everyone in your life? What are you willing to do for 30 days without ANY excuses? Not having enough time will no longer be an excuse. “But I like my energy drinks” will no longer be an excuse.” I hate vegies” can no longer be an excuse.

Instead, re-frame your thinking…If I take care of myself with more exercise, less sugary drinks, more veggies, less time on social media then I will live a longer more productive life and my relationships with the people I care the most about will improve.

Maybe your resolution for the next 30 days will be, “I will quit using excuses for why I CAN’T. I will be solution oriented when it comes to ……. (you fill in the blank.)

Bob Harper offered these ideas to consider depending on your personal habits:

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1   Cut out ALL sugary drinks. That includes adding sugar to your cup of coffee, the lattes with all the added flavoring, energy drinks, sodas etc.

·        Exercise three times a week. Find a program, DVD, class, etc. that you will commit to. If you’re the type of person that needs an accountability partner then find one.

·       Change your diet by adding more vegetables so you eat at least one meal six days a week where you incorporate a vegetable. The best ones are the green ones. AND it does not count by drowning it in dressing. Maybe it’s having a salad before you eat your dinner. Spinach and Romaine are the best lettuce choices. Iceberg lettuce has little nutritional value.

·       Set up a separate savings account with your bank that will only be used for Christmas purchases. Decide the amount of money you need for ALL purchases, donations etc. divide that amount by 12 and pay into your savings account EVERY month.

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n order to make that one change, you will need to do some immediate planning.

·       If you eliminate those sugary drinks, what will you replace them with? Have those choices in your office refrigerator, always have water with you in the car etc.

·       If you need to find an exercise program, start looking right now. Etc.

DO NOT PROCRATINATE and say you’ll start next week, or next month. You’ve already set yourself up for failure. Reread Milt’s quote above…You almost always fail because of something you know but you don’t do it when you know it should be done.

No more New Year’s Resolutions.  What is ONE thing you will change in your life for the next 30 days that you will more likely sustain and reap the benefits?

For me, I am focusing on my sugar intake which means there is no glass of wine, fudge, or any other “goodies” until January 12^th. That will get my system starting to adjust. For the rest of the month, I resolve to not have any more than three glasses of wine in a week and to give myself a special sweet treat two days a week but not on the days I have a glass of wine.

My resolution is being shared with all of you so you are now my accountability partners. I’ll let you know next week my first week results. This is my FIRM decision, I’ve written it down on an index card to have in front of me at all times, and my goal is to reap the benefits of getting the “crap” out of my body and to feel more energy.

I wish you a week of reflection and a week of starting your own 30 day challenge. If we’re like Kelly who made a commitment, stuck to it, now has a new habit, and can see the results…we will all be stronger and healthier in all areas of our lives in 2016!