The Me, Me, Me Epidemic

What did you learn about your communication IQ?  Did you pay attention to being a good listener, not doing a “one up” with your own story, and did you feel energized by a conversation with certain people?  It’s an ongoing process but a good one to continue to learn more and be an energizer to others with your part of a conversation.

Maria Shriver shared a piece in one of her tweets from the book Me, Me, Me Epidemic: A Step-by-Step Guide to Raising Capable, Gateful Kids in an Over-Entitled World by Amy McCready.  Amy has a fascinating approach and one that I think bears passing along in this week’s blog.  I am ordering the book.  The excerpts here are not my own but from a brief overview from Amy McCready.  I will definitely look forward to hearing your thoughts.

As a parent, a grandparent, a teacher, or anyone who wants to help young children be the best that they can be this blog is for you.  

We find ourselves wondering how we can raise, influence, and enhance the lives of our young ones to be responsible, grateful members of the real world in the 18 years they have at home. I hear so much from parents, business people, teachers etc. that we seem to live in a world of entitlement and a lack of work ethic.  According to Amy, she suggests a few power packed tools “straight from the “Me, Me, Me” Epidemic Un-Entitler Toolbox. They’re based on the fact that kids are entitled to things like unconditional love from their parents, meaningful work they’re able to accomplish and age-appropriate control over their own lives.”  Here are six strategies for more grateful, more capable and less entitled behavior in kids of all ages.  (These are straight from the excerpt from Amy McCready…)

Take Time for Quality Time (Entitled love)

While kids aren’t entitled to free transportation to the mall and money when they want to go shopping, they are entitled to our unconditional love and acceptance.  A powerful way to make sure they get it is through daily Mind, Body, and Soul Time. How? Give each child 10-20 minutes of undivided, individual attention each day on a regular basis, and many of the entitled behaviors we’ve grown to dread (fits when they don’t get what they want) will melt away. When they get attention they need in positive ways, they will be less likely to turn to negative attention-grabbers such as fighting with a sibling, whining, and negotiating.

Teach Task Mastery (Entitle confidence)

NO child should have a free ride.  There’s an age-appropriate task for everyone aged 2 and up – but they have to know how to do it!  Take Time for Training!  In a calm moment, patiently train kids in age-appropriate tasks, breaking the jobs into steps for younger kids.  With their new found confidence, kids will be more likely to take on new responsibilities without a fuss, and they’ll feel less entitled to constant maid service at home.

Make Their Work Count (Entitle significance)

Kids desperately crave a sense of significance.  Do I make a difference?  Do I even matter?  Family contributions!  Once you’ve trained several tasks, put your kids to work with regular household responsibilities – even as simple as emptying wastebaskets.  Then make it part of a When-Then Routine.  Say, “When your responsibilities, including homework, are done for the day, then you can enjoy your media time.” The kids will soon see firsthand the difference they can make.

Deal Positively with Whining (Entitle empathy)

What about the whining and complaining, you say? Virtually no child actually wants to dust the living room, which is no different than us adults.  Most children will have something to say about it like, “I hate dusting!”  Using the tool Empathize and Appreciate can go a long way in letting them know you understand.  You answer just needs to simply be, “I hear you.  I know dusting isn’t your idea of fun – it’s not mine either – but I really appreciate your help making the house look nice.” If the whining continues, turn your attention elsewhere or walk away. When you’re not there to argue, they’ll be more motivated to get their work done and move on.

Give thanks – A Lot (Entitle thankfulness)

This is one of my very favorites.  I love this idea!!  When kids help out with everyday tasks, they’ll be more appreciative of what we do for them, even if they’d never say it outright. Continue to foster thankfulness with the tool Gratitude Rituals. On a daily or weekly basis, over meals, just before bed, in a gratitude jar, or whenever and wherever it works for your family, help your kids practice finding things to be thankful for. You will need to be sure to model your own thankfulness (I’m so thankful Grandma was able to come and help out when our basement flooded) and help your kids make a habit out of giving thanks.  In time, they’ll feel less entitled to the best that life has to offer and instead feel grateful for what they do have. (Having more in life starts with being grateful for what we do have.)

Hand Over the Reigns (Entitle positive control)

Kids crave control – and that’s a good thing.  We all prefer our children experience control in positive ways, like packing their own suitcase for a trip. Use the tool, The Decision-Rich Environment in your home to give your kids as much opportunity as possible to wield age-appropriate control over their lives.  The more decisions your kids make in positive ways, the less they’ll try to gain control with negative, entitled behavior. 

I hope you have something you can use to make a difference in your child’s life, your grandchild’s life and in your own life.  Here’s to a week of Being the Best You that You Can Be.