Did
you try any of the six strategies in last week’s blog? A good friend shared the realization that when
she played with her grandson for 20-25 minutes FIRST, and then she told
him she needed to do some work, he was quite content to go off and play on his
own. No fussing, no interruptions. I shared rule #1 with her which is the 10-20
minutes for one-on-one time. She was
already doing that and now realizes how effective it is. Too often what we do
is tell the child WE need 5 minutes to do what WE need to do FIRST, and THEN
we’ll play, read, etc. Sometimes that
works, however, often times what happens is WE don’t live up to our end of the
bargain. We need one more minute, just
one more minute. The child keeps coming and asking if we’re done yet and there
are more and more interruptions. I hope
you now know that time with the child comes FIRST then we can get our
work done without interruptions. They’ve now had “their tank filled.”
Before
moving on with this week’s thoughts, think about the list of 6 again. This time
think about the adults around
you. Maybe it’s a spouse, maybe it’s a
parent, and maybe it’s a colleague or an employee. What if you gave the adults 5-10-20
minutes of one-on-one time? What if you
took the time to explain and teach your expectations? What if you gave other’s responsibilities and
control once they’ve proven themselves? What if you not only shared your
expectations but you taught them by showing, demonstrating etc. how you want
something done? Isn't that what you would do with a student athlete, or in a strength and
conditioning class, or teaching an intern how to write up a loan? etc. etc. This approach applies to any and all
situations.
Beginning
each school year, I taught my fifth graders what my expectations were of
noise in the classroom. We did this from
day one. I had a 1-4 system. I taught
them when we would use a 1 or 2 etc. and then we’d practice each one. At
the beginning of each activity, we would decide the noise level. If they needed quiet, think time for reading
or working on math, then it was a #1. If
they were working together with a team on a science project that was probably
more like a 3 etc. etc. We were all
accountable because we all knew the expectations.
Several
football coaches set up a sample of what each locker should look like. Which
hook are the pants hung on, where do they put the jersey, which way does the
helmet face etc.? EVERY locker is uniform and organized exactly the same. If
those directions aren’t followed there are consequences. Yes, consequences. After all, attention to detail translates both
on and off the field.
When
we communicate our expectations, when we have examples, when our expectations
are stated up front, there’s no confusion, and there’s little “push back.” When we DON’T know, when we’re guessing, or
when the expectations keep changing is when we have confusion and inefficiency.
How often do we ask for something to be done, we don’t give specific directions,
and we aren’t clear with our expectations for the end product? Then why are we upset when it’s different
than what we wanted? I’d encourage you
to pay close attention to how you communicate your expectations this next week
and see what you learn.
Transitioning
to my thoughts for this week, I am sitting here in awe of my husband of almost
39 years and who will turn 70 on Saturday the 29th. We had an early celebration with an Open
House Sunday the 23rd. His actual birthday isn’t until the 29th,
however, we will be in Illinois for Jason’s first football game of the season
which is also the 29th. The
early celebration was to see special friends, former colleagues, and family who
live close by. As the invitations went out and the RSVP’s came in, Jon was
pleased with the number of people who were taking time out of their busy
schedules to join him on Sunday. It was fun for me to watch him as he
circulated around talking to as many people as he could, and then also watching
people reflect on their times together in the athletic department, or share
stories growing up, or the grandkids, nieces, nephews remembering “Farmer Jon”
with all the animals.
A
consistent comment people continue to make is how fit he is, how young he
looks, and that he can’t possibly be 70. It’s hard for both of us to wrap our
heads around the fact that we are getting older and yes, he is now going to be
70. There’s a certain mindset when you’re in your 50’s and even 60’s, but 70 is
different. I think some of our
conversations lately also stem from the fact that my mom, who spent a week with
us recently, is now 88. Though she is in fairly good health there are still
things that she can no longer do, doesn’t care to do, or shouldn’t be doing.
Realization…she is 88. A very close friend of our daughter and her husband
passed away last week at 65 from cancer leaving his wife of 30+ years now
alone. All of our children have in-laws who have had health challenges such as
cancer, stroke etc. Realization…we are
getting older.
I,
for one, didn’t think about these things when I was in my 30’s and even 40’s
but I believe that’s very normal. We’re
busy building our careers, raising our families, and hopefully enjoying good
health through physical activities. I watch Jon as he spends hours out on the
tractor mowing, mixing up concrete and hauling it around in the wheel barrow,
down on his hands and knees scrubbing something –he LOVES to clean, and
physically capable of doing pretty much everything he’s ever been able to do. Why
is that? That’s another conversation we
have frequently. He is committed to
eating well, eating smaller portions, staying at a healthy weight, and most of
all committing to exercising 6 days a week!
This isn’t a once in a while commitment.
It has been something he’s done since he was 50 and still working at the
University. It’s what Darren Hardy talks about in his book, The Compound
Effect. What we do consistently over
time will pay huge dividends in the long run. Our tendency is if we don’t see
results right away we give up.
But
what is our health worth? Jon’s commitment to being healthy hasn’t happened
overnight and there are many reasons why he is so strong, weighs the same as he
did in college, and looks much younger than his 70 years. Exercise is a huge
component, eating well; portion sizes are all a part, yes. However, what I also admire is that he’s
willing to explore new and “different” ways of thinking. Going to a functional
medicine doctor who helps him look at how his entire body is functioning and
WHY something is happening leading him to take natural supplements to support
what he needs. Our nephew’s wife has been involved with an exercise program
called Aging Backwards/Essentrics which totally makes sense and is now being
added to our regular exercise program. Jon is open to listening, learning, and
trying new things. He is NOT close
minded and is all about being the best he can be where ever that may take him. Too
many of the people we know are not willing to put the time, energy, and
commitment into their health because it’s hard. They may only commit to 80%. The results…80%, but their expectation is
100%. Right?! NOT!
So
what’s his motivating factor? As Jon told several people on Sunday, he wants to
live long enough to see all of his grandchildren graduate from high school.
There are six grandchildren ranging in age from 10 years to 15 months. That
will put him to at least age 88. Is that in his control? Not totally, however, he is definitely doing
his part to take advantage of each and every day. He still gives “bucking
bronco” rides, he still carries the grandkids around and hoists them up for a
shoulder ride, he still is able to safely “drive Miss Daisy” (that’s me), 5.5
hours to Ulysses, Kansas and 14 hours to Okawville, Illinois on a regular
basis. We are still able to see the grandchildren regularly, play with them, go
to various events, and also get to Jason’s football games in the fall. All
because he has a mindset of living each day to the fullest, being present to
absorb it all, doesn’t take things for granted, doesn’t settle, and is willing
to learn, grow, and continue to live life to the fullest.
I’m
blessed to have him as my life partner, my soulmate, my lover, my friend, and
my best friend.
Happy
70th Birthday, Jon!!
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