Next Step - Breakthroughs

I hope you had a week of reflection and a chance to "analyze your soil" in at least one area of your life.  Granted this is probably one of the hardest times of the year to even take 20 minutes for one’s own reflection. The “to do” list seems endless with little time left before it’s crunch time.  Teachers are preparing their classroom for another school year, coaches are getting ready to welcome their student/athletes back for another football season, some of you are preparing for your child’s kindergarten experience or your oldest is getting ready to head off to college for their first year which also translates into the entire family beginning something new as well.  Needless to say, it’s critical YOU do take the opportunity, if you haven't already, to reflect and analyze where you are and where you want to go before moving on.

The past couple months I’ve talked about where you are in various parts of your life: starting something new, being in the middle, or an ending of some kind. Then there have been the life lessons you can learn from our farmers.  Lots to think about, but once again, no matter how much you learn unless there’s ACTION nothing will CHANGE. As I said last week, the word change may be a word you embrace and it’s a part of your daily thinking. Others, however, are still fearful as it means things will be different.  Yes, exactly, that’s the point.  How boring would life be if nothing ever changed?  Even listing the various examples above, change is all around us whether we like it or not.  The difference is our mindset – embrace the change or fight it.

Two young women I have met are currently dealing with change on a deep, personal level.  Both have had to face the death of their husband in the past year and both have a son.  They are truly an inspiration for me as I read their FB reflections.  Each has been on a journey of change.  Not one they have chosen, obviously, but a change in every aspect of their life and the life of their son.  Neither woman knows the other, however, their journey has taken on similar experiences, feelings, with the path being a difficult one.  Their posts share those times of being scared, the emotional roller coaster of sadness, positive reflections and memories of their spouse, their celebrations of their spouse’s life, their life together and their life as parents. Part of their journey means daily challenges and changes. There is that first year of “firsts.”  How do you deal with the first birthday with the person gone?  The first Father’s Day?  The first Christmas, Valentines Day? The first anniversary with the person gone?  It’s been my observation these two women have a mindset of overcoming, a mindset of being present with whatever is happening at the moment, but then also a mindset of moving forward.

What I have also observed, from afar, is both women (1) take care of themselves so their mind and body can face each day, (2) they don’t apologize for their feelings rather those feelings are embraced for a time, (3) they involve and honor their child’s needs and support them on their journey without their dad, (4) they have a strong support group of friends and family who they are not afraid to call on for help, and (5) since this is a process there have also been breakthroughs. 

Tony Robbins defines breakthrough as “a moment in time when the impossible becomes possible…you make a move to truly change and improve your world.”  John Maxwell describes breakthrough as “handling adversity long enough, having stamina long enough that there will be a breakthrough.” The analogy is when you’re flying through thick, dense clouds and visibility is almost zero.  Feelings of anxiety, fear, loneliness, begin to take over.  In the middle of these clouds, it’s hard to see that there will ever be an end.  Often times just when it seems to be a never ending gloominess, change happens. Your mindset changes to one of persistence, a willingness to never give up, a belief rises.  With this new mindset, your “plane” also begins to rise, and you breakout into the sunshine. But, guess what? The sun was always there, you just couldn’t see it through the clouds. YOU took control over what you could control…your mindset. Maybe it was as simple as your support system gave you a boost and you were ready to breakthrough.  Things happen that are totally out of our control, but what is in our control is to not stay in the dense, dark clouds but to rise to reach the sunshine once again.  Both young women who find themselves as a widow at a very young age, have had many times in the dark clouds, but I also read about their reflections of hope and passion resurfacing – their breakthroughs.

What about you?  As you begin this fall with new beginnings, change, I hope you can reflect on the many breakthroughs you have had just in this past year. With the breakthrough there is new learning, new skills, new attitudes, new actions etc.  The sun is shining and the future looks bright.  If you’re truly one of the 5%, you realize the clouds of excuses, rationalizing, blame, guilt, and life without gratitude are only temporary.  Though you can’t see the sun, you know it’s there.  What will you do TODAY to rise above and change your location? Even when we're in the sunshine, there is always a higher place to strive to reach.  

I look forward to your comments, and I wish you a mindset of creating breakthroughs in your life.