What Are Your Expectations During the Holidays?

How is going "Making Your Holidays More Enjoyable? “  Have you made a conscious effort to first and foremost take the time to be present and enjoy your spouse, your children, and friends?  As I talked about last week, it's so easy to get caught up with the "hoop la" and forget what this season is really all about whether you celebrate Hanukkah or Christmas.  We could focus on all the tragedies in our world today, or we can focus on what we do have control over and that's only ourselves.  What can I do each and every day to make a difference in my own life and to make a difference in others' lives?

What are your expectations for this holiday time?  It seems we hear about so many more issues of domestic violence, assaults, suicides, drunk-driving etc. taking place during this time of year. Why is that?  Yes, there are people who aren't happy, are taking out their feelings of frustration and inadequacy on family members or on themselves and this time of year seems to exacerbate those stressors and challenges.  I would speculate that finances trigger many of these feelings both now and again when it comes time to pay off all the credit card bills.  But what else?  Is it the reflection over the past year, and the realization that once again another year has passed and nothing is really any different?  Is it a focus on all the things that didn't happen and a poor pitiful me attitude?  Is it “looking around” comparing yourself to others that seem to “have it all together?”  They don't have any of the struggles that you have.  Or is it something else?  Does any of this ring true for you?  What about those people, family and friends, who you surround yourself with regularly?

I would suggest a couple ideas to think about.  One is that EVERYONE has struggles and challenges of some kind.  EVERYONE is dealing with some challenge whether it be physical, emotional, financial, or spiritual.  Even those that look like they have THE perfect life have some kind of struggle, but we each deal with those challenges and struggles in our own personal way.  The choice might be to ignore, or deny, or we choose not to focus on the challenge itself but the lessons being learned along the way.  Some “suffer” in silence while others “wear their struggle on their sleeve” and let everyone around them know they're suffering.  A second thought is if the same feelings are constantly reoccurring then why haven’t you done anything about them?  Is it easier to wallow in misery and discomfort blaming everyone but ourselves, than it is to take action and make changes? 

Make this holiday season different than ever before.  Give gifts from your heart that you can afford, make a conscious effort to let go of a nit picking, exasperated mindset when with a difficult relative, even if it’s your own spouse, parent, in-law, or sibling.  Let go of the judgment, criticism, and perfect expectations.   Come away, this season, with a feeling of resolve.  Maybe it’s watching the behavior of someone else and making the commitment  to never be that way yourself, maybe it’s looking at being grateful for whatever little things you can find, maybe it’s realizing that if you can be loving and compassionate, you get far more of the same in return.  Maybe the difference is to let go of that perfect Christmas card picture, sit back and just enjoy.

We will be spending Christmas with our daughter and her family, and New Years with our son and his family.   I plan to take in each moment fully. So that I take my own advice, I will be sharing new thoughts and a plan for 2015 in my next blog which will be January 6^th. 

I wish for you a special holiday time that includes: reflection, quiet moments, and gratitude.