Do You Need Acceptance from Others?

Acceptance?  Control?  Or Both?

I keep coming back to the above three questions, and I felt a need to repeat this blog from the spring.

I have always thought “conversations” are interesting.  Is it a give and take?  One sided?  Thought provoking?  Energizing? Of course, it depends on the situation and the people involved, but this week I would encourage you to listen to the conversations you have with others and pay attention to the voices going on in your head.  Are you really listening to what’s being said, or are you thinking about what you’re going to say next?  Do you find yourself asking questions to learn more, or do you have a similar story so the conversation once again comes back to you?

I have been in several larger social settings lately and have found it fascinating to pay attention to how others communicate as well as my own communication style.  With some people, I come away from the conversation feeling as though I’d learned so much about the person or a particular topic, I focused on asking more questions, it was a give and takes conversation, and it was an interesting.  I felt a renewed energy and appreciation for the person.  Then there were other “conversations” where it was definitely one sided.  Often times it was more of a “dumping baggage” session.  The “take away” for me was I was bored, I wanted to get away from what I perceived as a toxic environment, and I definitely wasn't energized.  Are there times when people need to feel safe and just "dump?" Of course!  That's part of being a friend.  For me, what's the balance?  Am I always the one being "dumped" on?  Or are there also the learning and growing conversations?

In the past, I know I was guilty of having a comeback story of a similar situation, however, now I’m focused and present on NOT doing that unless it really is relevant.  I also know that when I was in a conversation with someone where our opinions were different, I either thought I had to change their mind to the “right” way of thinking.  Or I would be silent for “fear” of looking stupid as I didn't feel adequate in “arguing a point ”as eloquently as others.  After listening to Jim Britt again, he asks the question, “Is this my need for acceptance?  Maybe it’s my need for control?  Or, then again, maybe it’s both?  First and foremost, MY opinion or judgment – good, bad, right, wrong – is just that, MINE.  No one else’s.  And that’s ok.  I don’t need to have other’s agree with me to be validated.  The bottom line is that the only person I can control is me. 

So how does this apply to the everyday conversation with family, friends, acquaintances, or even an occasional new person? Jim talks a lot about paying attention to our feelings when we’re in conversations.  If I find myself feeling defensive, feeling a lack of self-esteem or inadequacy etc., I now pause to ask myself the three questions:  “Is this my need to be accepted?  Is this my need to be in control? Or is it both?”  Once I realize what’s going on internally, the conversation takes on a whole new focus.  I become more question oriented, or I choose to just listen without feeling a need to respond. I’m also comfortable with giving my thoughts and opinions as just that – this is how I feel/think, and I am ok with how you feel/think.  It’s not even an “agree to disagree,” “meet in the middle” etc.   I now come away with a more peaceful mind and a true acceptance for who I am.  I am no longer “married” to one way, I am more willing to listen and learn, I’m more open to listening to others, taking in what works for me and what doesn't.  I can now "let go" more easily. In addition, I'm much more content with who I am without needing the acceptance of others or feeling as though I need to change someone else’s opinion, belief, or thought.  I am who I am, and they are who they are. And that's ok.

None of this happened overnight.  I have come to this thinking over time.  I have found myself, even now, where I do get caught up in trying to convince someone to think my way especially if I’m passionate about the topic. These changes are definitely why we call life a journey.  The key?  We’re never too old to learn, grow, and change.  It takes a commitment to want to learn and grow as an individual.  That means reading, listening to CD’s, or whatever way you learn the best.  I happen to be 62, however, many younger people are focusing on their personal development much earlier.  Any reading about leadership or success includes a top priority to work on ourselves first. Is self development a priority to you or do you use "I have no time" as an excuse?

I would be interested in hearing your thoughts on how you communicate and your reflections.  Have a wonderful beginning of fall!

Do You Know About Baby Sign Language?

When our first grandchild, Sophia, was around seven months, Amanda asked if I was interested in joining them at baby sign language classes.  I had never heard of something like this before, so I was definitely interested in learning more and of course, it’s my grandchild!  Jon’s reaction, on the other hand, was quite different.  “What a scam.  You get a first time mother and the grandmother to buy a class on sign language?  It’s a rip off as far as I can see.”  Then he would proceed to go into his own “signing” which was just waving his arms and mocking the process.    (More on that later.)  Over a period of about 8 weeks, I was able to attend several classes, and I began to understand the power of this form of communication for babies and toddlers who were “pre-verbal” communicators.

The instructor taught the class by introducing basic signs with an example accompanied with the “word.”  Our basic human needs such as hungry, thirsty, and more were the first signs presented.  Parents begin to introduce these signs and they use the word and the sign simultaneously over and over.  It may be 9 months or so when the child begins to sign in return, however, they've been learning by watching for quite some time already.  Once the first three signs are learned, then more can be introduced.  The goal is to teach our little ones how to get their needs met long before they can verbalize and with fewer crying episodes.  EVERYONE is less frustrated.  

When the child can communicate in a successful way, we avoid the tantrums and melt downs much more!!  The child is more engaged, shares, is more curious and asks questions etc. etc.  The instructor told the story of her then 18 month old daughter sitting in her high chair watching Mom iron, and signed “What is that?”  How many of us would have believed that an 18 month old would even ask the question in the first place let alone be curious about it?  So Mom had a conversation about what an iron is and what she was doing.  These conversations take place all the time now when the toddler can ask a question by signing “what’s that?” or specifically ask for help with something by signing “help.”  The brains of our young ones are going all the time and are like sponges.  It’s amazing, exciting, and POWERFUL what they can learn when they have a way to communicate and the adults around them can actually understand them. 

There are numerous studies out now which show sign language with babies boosts brain development.  Important developmental benefits include:  children speaking earlier and having a larger vocabulary unlike the misconception that sign language stunts a child’s language development.  There is much more of a “conversation” with children since we realize now how much they understand and how many questions they ask.  The studies further contend there is a 12 point IQ advantage over their peers, and teachers observe the children who have used signed language are talking in full sentences whereas others of the same age either resort to pointing, grunting, or speaking using 3-4 words.  It’s such fun when they sign, “What’s that?” which is followed by a conversation.  You can just “see the wheels spinning.” 

Back to Jon.  Sophia was at our house along with our daughter, her husband, and their dog.  The dog was chewing on a bone.  Sophia, who was probably around a year, signed “dog – eat.”  Yes, Sophia, the dog is chewing on a bone.  She then proceeded to the cats’ food bowl.  She signed “cat – eat.”  Yes, that’s the kitty’s food.  The clincher then was Sophia taking Poppa’s hand and signed fish.  Not knowing what she wanted, he was informed that she wanted to go feed the fish.  Sophia knew where the fish were and that Poppa is the one who feeds them.  At this point, Jon now needs to learn how to sign “eat crow.”  J  And, I will say, he is now THE biggest advocate for children signing and is the first to tell any new parent or grandparent that they need to be sure to teach baby sign language.  We have seen it work over and over again with all five of the older grandchildren and Nyelle, at only 4 ½ months, will also be taught when it’s time. 

Not only for the parents but also for grandparents, understanding the various signs is easy, fun, and helps ease everyone’s  frustration.  I recall one time when we were babysitting Bria who was probably about 16 months at the time.  She woke up crying, early in the morning, so I did the usual of changing her diaper and giving her another bottle.  However, she continued to cry after the bottle.  Now what?  I signed “eat,” and she nodded her head yes.  I gave her a little cereal bar, she ate the whole thing, was now ready to go back to bed, and fell right asleep.  Really?  Only because I knew a few signs was I able to figure out what she wanted which eliminated the crying and my anxiety.  

Signing “more” is a wonderful concept for the children to communicate when they’re still hungry.  THEY decide NOT the adult.  When they’re finished “all done” comes in very handy.  These signs are also beneficial when you’re playing a game, reading a book, or any activity.  Zane and Teagan are particularly good at signing “more” when they’re swinging.  J  What great skills for very young children to learn.  When it comes to eating or needing a drink, they are already listening to their body’s needs, they’re making choices – do you want milk or water?  The child is in control and as the parent or grandparent we’re not guessing what they need or want.  Sign language is a powerful tool for our pre-verbal children to use to communicate!!

In addition to the signs: eat, milk, water, more, all done, all of our children have taught our grandchildren manners!  Yes, manners.  They have all learned to sign “please” and “thank you.”  I LOVE IT!!  In fact, the grandchildren are sometimes much better about it than the adults.  The other common courtesy is to not leave the table until everyone is finished eating.  Therefore, the routine is to go around the table and ask each person if he/she is done.  When asked, we each give the “all done” sign, or if we’re still eating everyone waits.  It’s priceless. 

If you’re interested in learning more you can get on line and Google “baby sign language.”  You don’t have to take a class, as there are also books, CD’s, and videos to teach you. 

Have a wonderful week!

In light of the Ray Rice video showing the assault on his then fiancé and now wife, I felt a need to understand more about the topic of domestic violence.  To be clear, these are my personal reflections and what I've learned online. I have not had to deal with this issue personally.  As difficult as the video is to watch, it has brought to the forefront the issue of domestic abuse.  Robin Gibbons, married to Mike Tyson for 8 months, shared an intimate interview on the Today Show.  As she stated, “a video would have helped bring attention to my domestic violence situation much quicker as I was being dragged down a hallway by my hair.”  Statistics point to most situations of domestic violence goes on “behind closed doors” but now we have a vivid picture through video. As the interview continued, Robin stated that this is a “watershed moment” in discussion about domestic violence as it will help other women just to be believed.  Social media has also changed the way we view these types of relationships.”

As we all probably could speculate, the consequences of domestic violence are many and can continue from generation to generation.  Statistics show that one in four women will experience domestic violence, and more than four million physical assaults and rapes are because of their partners.  The greatest risk of becoming a victim are women in the age group of 20-24, and this happens across all socioeconomic, racial, and educational lines.  Every year more than three million children witness domestic violence in their homes.  There is a 30-60% chance for children living in these homes to also suffer abuse and/or neglect.  According to the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development, “domestic violence is the third leading cause of homelessness among families. Other consequences of domestic violence include: poor health for many survivors both physically and emotionally, among women brought to an emergency room due to domestic violence most were socially isolated and had fewer social and financial resources than other women not injured due to domestic violence.  Without help, girls who witness domestic violence are more vulnerable to be abused as teens and adults.  And, without help, boys who witness domestic violence are far more likely to become abusers of their partners and/or children as adults, thus continuing the cycle of abuse and violence in the next generation.”

Twenty years ago, Congress passed the Violence Against Women Act, and in those years, domestic violence has been dramatically reduced.  But the problem is far from solved.  Judy Woodruff from PBS Newshour spoke with Esta Soler of Futures Without Violence, about what it will take to end abuse despite the fact that some progress has been made.   “Since the Violence Against Women Act was passed, there has been a comprehensive response from law enforcement, from the judiciary, coming together basically creating a support system and a prosecutorial system that holds people accountable.”  Soler believes that, “this violence is preventable.  I think it’s learned, and if it’s learned, it can be unlearned….We need to do way more for our young people, because, at the end of the day, you can give people tools to have healthy relationships.  If you have seen it, if you have witnessed it in your home, you need to unlearn it.”  Esta continues, “the most important thing is, if you can, get somebody to support you, speak out and believe there is a better way….too many people think there’s a reason why they should stay in a situation.  They might be afraid.  They might think that, oh, my God, what am I going to do for our kids?  But at the end of the day, that’s not going to stop the violence.  

“What are some solutions then?  Many women feel they need the financial support of the abuser.  So programs that really empower women economically are absolutely essential in my opinion,” stated Esta Stoler.  Women need to have options to choose a different life.”  In addition, when a young girl becomes pregnant, has to drop out of school, she has no education and is now dependent on others for her own and her child’s survival.  Education is another essential piece.  Socially, we need to change the norms.  It’s critical that the social norm clearly states that there is NO EXCUSE for domestic violence.  

CBS’s Sports host James Brown, “made a passionate case for men to play a bigger role in helping prevent domestic violence in the wake of the release of the Rice video.  “Let’s be clear, this problem is bigger than football.  But wouldn't it be productive if this collective outrage could be channeled to truly hear and address the long-suffering cries for help by so many women and do something about it?... Like an ongoing, comprehensive education of men about what healthy, respectful manhood is all about.”   “And it starts with how we view women.  Our language is important.  For instance, when a guy says, ‘You throw like a girl’ or ‘You’re a little sissy,’ it reflects an attitude that devalues women and attitudes will eventually manifest in some fashion.”  Brown continues, “So this is yet another call to men to stand up and take responsibility for their thoughts, their words, their deeds and…to give help or to get help because our silence is deafening and deadly.”   

WSCADV Director of Communications Kelly Starr said, “One of the things that gives power to domestic violence is silence and so when we’re all talking about it and the public is engaged in conversation, to me that is so hopeful.”  The coalition said, “the best way to help prevent domestic violence is to stop it before it starts.”  So what does that look like?  A dear friend, former CU basketball player, NBA player, and now father of a beautiful three-year-old daughter stated this past weekend that he will make sure his daughter grows up feeling valued, she’ll be educated, she’ll learn the value of money, but most of all she will have a sense of self-esteem and who she is as a woman.  With that feeling and mindset, she will never allow a man to treat her any way but special and valued.  Part of “making sure” this happens is this same man is also modeling that respect and value towards his wife.  We can all do that with those in our lives that we love and care about.  We can be a part of the solution!

“Self-esteem comes from positive self-imaging, and it’s something we proactively should be able to build for ourselves from a very early age.  When we leave it up to external factors like the presence of domestic violence in our homes, we build our self-esteem on sandy ground.  What we want is a rock-solid foundation, and this only comes from building within.”  The way we view ourselves directly affects everything we do.  I've written many blogs on “putting the oxygen mask on ourselves first,” to love ourselves first and foremost, and then we can give and love others.  “Women young and old who love themselves and are confident are better able to thrive and have a lasting impact on the communities around them.  By learning how to love themselves, being educated on money issues, having a meaningful job, trade etc., all women will be better able to make good decisions and command respect from others.  http://rebuildingrespectforwomen.org 

What can each of us do, on a daily basis, to not only build up ourselves as a man or a woman but also influence every other male and female in our lives?”  Let’s not let this topic “die out” because it’s no longer prevalent in the media.  WE need to each take responsibility to make a difference!  

Why is Omega-3 important to your health?

This week’s focus is on your nutritional mindset.  We've all heard Omega-3  fatty acid and Omega-6, but what are these fatty acids, how are they different, and why are they important to our health?  When we hear the word “fat” we have a tendency to think we need to avoid this food or supplement.  However,  when it comes to EPA and DHA this is one type of fat you DO NOT want to cut back on.

Omega-3 and Omega-6 are “essential” fats.  The human body needs these fatty acids for many of our daily functions such as building healthy cells, and maintaining brain and nervous system functions.  

More specifically then, how do these essential fatty acids help our health?  First, triglycerides are a blood fat.  We often hear the term when talking about cholesterol.  When there is a higher level of this blood fat there is more risk for heart disease.  Fish oil, however, can lower the triglyceride levels.    Second, and one I can relate to, is the stiffness and joint pain of rheumatoid arthritis may also be reduced by taking fish oil.  In addition, there is evidence that the effectiveness of anti-inflammatory drugs may get a boost.  Third, there have been studies done on cultures that eat foods with high levels of Omega-3 and the people were found to have lower levels of depression.  Fourth, the visual and neurological development in babies is enhanced with DHA.  Fifth, asthma is another inflammation issue and those with a high diet of Omega-3 lowers the inflammation, as inflammation is a key component in asthma.  Other benefits include such results as: ADHD appears, in some studies, where some children improve their mental skills such as thinking remembering, and learning.  However, in regards to ADHD, Omega-3 should NOT be a primary treatment.  Curbing plaque build-up inside the blood vessels may help lesson stroke issues, and there may also be help in protecting our bodies from Alzheimers and dementia.  (Information from WebMD)  In addition, Dr. Mercola's research suggests that many scientists believe one reason there is a high incidence of heart disease, hypertension, diabetes, obesity, premature aging, and some forms of cancer is due to a profound imbalance of Omega-3 fatty acids to Omega-6 fatty acids.  Learn more about Dr. Mercola by following this link  http://www.mercola.com/forms/background.htm

Since our bodies do not produce Omega-3 or Omega-6 fatty acids, our only source then is through food and supplements.  You've probably heard that eating fish such as salmon is a great source of Omega-3.  This is true, although you will want to purchase the wild salmon versus the farmed salmon since the wild does have more of the Omega-3, and the farm-raised of any type fish, may have more contaminants.  Other fish sources are: anchovies, mackerel, bluefish, herring, sardines, lake trout, and tuna.  You will obviously want to watch those fish with higher levels of mercury, PCB’s, or other toxins.  Be sure to consult with your physician if you have small children or you are pregnant.  Most will want you to avoid fish entirely.  If you are eating fish, the guideline usually suggest eating no more than 7 oz. per week and trout and salmon are the safest fish overall.  Other plant sources of Omega-3 include: walnuts, flaxseed, and flaxseed oil.  You may find enhanced eggs, beans such as edamame, pinto, and kidney beans as good sources as well.  These are all easy to add to salads, chilis, soups etc.  Leafy greens such as spinach, kale, and collard greens contain some level of the Omega-3’s for a great salad.   I put ground flaxseed into our NutriBullet drinks at lunch and sometimes add them to our morning shakes.  Flaxseed is an easy way to get good Omega-3’s into our diet without a lot of hassle.  I purchase the gold flaxseed in bulk from Sprouts, grind up about ½ cup at a time, then put it into a container that I refrigerate.  This process seems to provide the most benefits.  Despite how well we think we are eating, most of us do not get enough of these fatty acids in our diets, therefore we do need to add a supplement. 

According to Dr. Mercola, most women have major deficiencies of Omega-3.  “A fetus must obtain all Omega-3 fatty acids from the mother’s diet.  A mother’s dietary intake and plasma concentrations of DHA directly influence the DHA level of the developing fetus and impacts a child’s brain and eye health.”  He also recommends that from pregnancy through a child’s later life, Omega-3 fats of DHA and EPA are radically important in brain health and other functions.”  SO what do we look for in an Omega-3 supplement?  Whether for adults or children, the right kind is: pollution-free, eco-friendly, highly sustainable like krill which may be more affordable than fish oil.  Krill also seems to be more accepted by children as it’s odor-free and when they can easily swallow capsules it’s also more palatable than a liquid.  Be sure to read all labels as just because you’re purchasing something at Whole Foods, Vitamin Cottage and similar locations does not necessarily mean it’s the best supplement.  Personally, I have found a supplement through my chiropractor which I feel comfortable taking.

One further understanding to be aware of is the two kinds of fatty acids:  Omega-3 and Omega-6.  Ideally and in the past, the ratio use to be 1:1.  Today, however, the ratio ranges from 1:20 to 1:50!! That causes serious concerns.  Omega-6 includes such thinks as: corn, soy, canola, safflower, and sunflower oils.  This over abundant, typical diet encourages inflammation!!  Numerous scientists believe that many of our health issues today relate back to this profound Omega-3 to Omega-6 imbalance.

I hope you have found this information helpful.  It's getting information, understanding it, and applying it to our personal lives that will make a difference and further a healthy lifestyle.  

How Do You Handle Adversity?

What is it that makes a difference in how people handle adversity?  That’s the million dollar question. I continue to be amazed at the number of people who, despite the fact they have health issues, choose to not do anything about it. It might be they've been diagnosed with diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis, asthma, heart disease, high cholesterol or they have weight problems with the list continuing on and on.  If they would only change their eating and/or beverage choice they could lose that extra weight, their heart problems could be more controlled, their cholesterol levels could be reduced, their chance of various cancers could be reduced etc. etc. etc.  But…they don’t make those changes or do anything different.  The reactions to the various health issues range from trying something for a short time then they revert back to the same old – same old, being angry, blaming, depression, an attitude of denial, or even just ignoring the problem altogether, believing that this is just their “lot in life,” or even the excuse that it's what you have to deal with when you get older.    

Personally, none of these excuses make any sense to me, but that’s my judgment.  My belief is if there’s a way to live the life God has blessed me with, why would I not do whatever it takes?  Yes, I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis at age 36. I did go through the “why me?” stage, the angry stage, the depression stage, and I even tried to push through the pain thinking that this was just a phase.  And where did that get me?  NOWHERE. I saw too many people with the same disease that didn't do anything and were in constant pain, on high levels of meds with their own side effects, and had very disfigured hands and feet.  I made a conscious decision to NOT be a victim. 

So how did I move forward?  First of all, I gathered information from dietitians, nutritionists, occupational therapists, chiropractors, specialists, and physical therapists. I also read a lot of books, articles, and testimonials. I needed to take control of MY life, make choices of what works for my body, and most importantly move forward.  In all this, I had to make the decision what I was willing to do and what was not something I would consider.  For example, a rheumatologist specialist told me I needed to start on liquid gold. Liquid gold?! NO!  When I asked him if there was anything I could do nutritionally he told me it wouldn't make any difference.  WRONG!  So, needless to say, I didn't go back to that specialist.  We do not have to accept some of the recommendations that rather than focusing on the solution only continue the problem and may even add more problems.  A nutritionist told me to “listen to my body” and learn what my body needed.  First of all, that made sense to me, second I had to learn how to listen to my body, and third I had to pay attention to the signals my body was trying to tell me. 

The past 26 years have been a process, paying attention, and for me, learning the triggers to the pain.  I had to commit to giving myself a shot once a week of a drug.  Not what I wanted to do, but the goal has been to reduce that amount.  But what else can I do? My trigger was stress.  I spent a year trying to get my body back without pain.  There have been ups and downs, but I knew what it was like to not be in pain, so I focused on getting back to being pain free.  I realized I had slacked off paying attention to my eating habits, I also wasn't exercising, and I definitely needed to do some work on my own attitude.  I was allowing negative words from others “get to me.”  That only added to my stress level. I wasn't letting go of the fact that there was my reality and there was someone else’s good intentions for me .  Because of a self-development weekend that Jon and I went to with author and speaker, Jim Britt, I began to learn to truly listen to my body.  Previously, I wasn't aware of the power our thoughts have on our health.  I also learned the process of totally letting go of negative thoughts, actions from others, etc. I learned to understand that I could only do what was in my control, and it was not my job to change someone else’s view.  I could share my thoughts, educate if necessary, and yet allow them to have their thoughts and beliefs too.  What I wasn't willing to do was to “buy into” their views and opinions.

With my last crisis now 17 years behind me, I can say I only have a few days with some pain.  I am consistently working out five to six days a week, cardio and strength training are a part of the workout, I am constantly learning more about health and nutrition and putting that learning into practice.  We have a meal replacement shake in the morning that is more for the good nutrients, our NutriBullet drinks at lunch are filled with spinach, fruit, and gold flaxseed, we’re aware of our portion sizes since our bodies change with age, we’re taking specific supplements from companies that are focused on clean and healthy ingredients, and I've discovered an incredible product that focuses on inflammation of ANY type.  That product is what allows me, for the first time, to begin to reduce my medication amount.  Another key component is I’m paying close attention to my thoughts and attitude.  There is a huge connection between our bodies and our minds.  During more stressful times, I have to first be conscious of the type of thoughts running through my head.  For the negative ones, I ask myself the question, “Is this my need for control or acceptance?”  I will go through the “letting go” process I learned from Jim Britt, I remind myself that what I focus on expands - negative or positive (thanks to Jim Rohn), and sometimes I just have to “Let go and Let God.” 

This is all a process, it’s a journey, but most of all it is a decision.  I WILL NOT be a victim. I AM in control of my life.  I AM blessed with the life God has given me.  My story is about rheumatoid arthritis, but there are other stories out there.  I just finished a book by Jay Leeuwenburg, Yes I Can! Yes, YOU Can!  It’s a book where Jay “tackles diabetes and wins.”  He was 12 years old when he was first diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes and “through self-discipline and self-reliance overcame the odds to achieve pro football stardom and admiration of America.”  Jay was a high school All-Stater, was a University of Colorado Buff and All-American, as well as a 9-year NFL starter.  From the beginning, even at age 12, Jay took control of the diagnosis of diabetes.  And a crucial part of that journey was the role his family played.  “From the get-go,” explains Jay’s brother, Chris, “we were really immersed in it as a family.  It was a lifestyle.  We knew, to be successful, it was something you did as a family.” Don’t we all need a team around us for support?  It was especially amazing to me to read Jay’s words to his mother as a 12 year old, “Mom, I had a talk with myself.  He said he told himself, ‘Hey, I can accept this and get on with my life, or I can fight it, and say, “This isn't happening to me, and woe is me.”  He made a personal resolve, right then and there, to get on with his life.”  He continually says, throughout the book, that “this is the life I was dealt, I’m going to make the best of it.”  Diabetes was NOT going to define him.

The book continues through Jay’s life as a 12 year old diagnosed with diabetes, through the challenges of playing sports, the challenges of having to take control of his life and not depend on others to always have the correct information, and to educate those around him.  Even in the NFL, he relates a story of being dehydrated and being given a 20% dextrose IV.  That is NOT the answer when you’re diabetic.  Jay, himself, realized the mistake and forced the trainers to give him one with saline.  The stories and his journey are a fascinating read.  The disappointments, the uneducated views about diabetics, the need to constantly monitor his blood sugar levels – 25 times during a game – his “giving back” which has impacted so many children’s lives who have diabetes and especially those who want to play sports, his role not only as an NFL player but a husband, father, and now elementary teacher all have a common theme.  Set goals, no excuses, learn to deal with your own personal challenges in your life, never give up, and “If you put the effort in, if you’re committed, if you’re educated, it you take the necessary steps, you will succeed.”  

Isn't that the message no matter what our challenges might be?  After all, disappointments, loses in a football game, a diagnosis we’d rather not deal with, ignorance, conflicts, family issues etc. are part of that journey we call LIFE.  Will you be one of the 5% that takes control and makes changes in both a healthy body and a healthy mind?  Or will you fall into the 95% that does nothing and ignores the truth?  I wish for you to be one of the 5%!!!