How Do You Handle Adversity?

What is it that makes a difference in how people handle adversity?  That’s the million dollar question. I continue to be amazed at the number of people who, despite the fact they have health issues, choose to not do anything about it. It might be they've been diagnosed with diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis, asthma, heart disease, high cholesterol or they have weight problems with the list continuing on and on.  If they would only change their eating and/or beverage choice they could lose that extra weight, their heart problems could be more controlled, their cholesterol levels could be reduced, their chance of various cancers could be reduced etc. etc. etc.  But…they don’t make those changes or do anything different.  The reactions to the various health issues range from trying something for a short time then they revert back to the same old – same old, being angry, blaming, depression, an attitude of denial, or even just ignoring the problem altogether, believing that this is just their “lot in life,” or even the excuse that it's what you have to deal with when you get older.    

Personally, none of these excuses make any sense to me, but that’s my judgment.  My belief is if there’s a way to live the life God has blessed me with, why would I not do whatever it takes?  Yes, I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis at age 36. I did go through the “why me?” stage, the angry stage, the depression stage, and I even tried to push through the pain thinking that this was just a phase.  And where did that get me?  NOWHERE. I saw too many people with the same disease that didn't do anything and were in constant pain, on high levels of meds with their own side effects, and had very disfigured hands and feet.  I made a conscious decision to NOT be a victim. 

So how did I move forward?  First of all, I gathered information from dietitians, nutritionists, occupational therapists, chiropractors, specialists, and physical therapists. I also read a lot of books, articles, and testimonials. I needed to take control of MY life, make choices of what works for my body, and most importantly move forward.  In all this, I had to make the decision what I was willing to do and what was not something I would consider.  For example, a rheumatologist specialist told me I needed to start on liquid gold. Liquid gold?! NO!  When I asked him if there was anything I could do nutritionally he told me it wouldn't make any difference.  WRONG!  So, needless to say, I didn't go back to that specialist.  We do not have to accept some of the recommendations that rather than focusing on the solution only continue the problem and may even add more problems.  A nutritionist told me to “listen to my body” and learn what my body needed.  First of all, that made sense to me, second I had to learn how to listen to my body, and third I had to pay attention to the signals my body was trying to tell me. 

The past 26 years have been a process, paying attention, and for me, learning the triggers to the pain.  I had to commit to giving myself a shot once a week of a drug.  Not what I wanted to do, but the goal has been to reduce that amount.  But what else can I do? My trigger was stress.  I spent a year trying to get my body back without pain.  There have been ups and downs, but I knew what it was like to not be in pain, so I focused on getting back to being pain free.  I realized I had slacked off paying attention to my eating habits, I also wasn't exercising, and I definitely needed to do some work on my own attitude.  I was allowing negative words from others “get to me.”  That only added to my stress level. I wasn't letting go of the fact that there was my reality and there was someone else’s good intentions for me .  Because of a self-development weekend that Jon and I went to with author and speaker, Jim Britt, I began to learn to truly listen to my body.  Previously, I wasn't aware of the power our thoughts have on our health.  I also learned the process of totally letting go of negative thoughts, actions from others, etc. I learned to understand that I could only do what was in my control, and it was not my job to change someone else’s view.  I could share my thoughts, educate if necessary, and yet allow them to have their thoughts and beliefs too.  What I wasn't willing to do was to “buy into” their views and opinions.

With my last crisis now 17 years behind me, I can say I only have a few days with some pain.  I am consistently working out five to six days a week, cardio and strength training are a part of the workout, I am constantly learning more about health and nutrition and putting that learning into practice.  We have a meal replacement shake in the morning that is more for the good nutrients, our NutriBullet drinks at lunch are filled with spinach, fruit, and gold flaxseed, we’re aware of our portion sizes since our bodies change with age, we’re taking specific supplements from companies that are focused on clean and healthy ingredients, and I've discovered an incredible product that focuses on inflammation of ANY type.  That product is what allows me, for the first time, to begin to reduce my medication amount.  Another key component is I’m paying close attention to my thoughts and attitude.  There is a huge connection between our bodies and our minds.  During more stressful times, I have to first be conscious of the type of thoughts running through my head.  For the negative ones, I ask myself the question, “Is this my need for control or acceptance?”  I will go through the “letting go” process I learned from Jim Britt, I remind myself that what I focus on expands - negative or positive (thanks to Jim Rohn), and sometimes I just have to “Let go and Let God.” 

This is all a process, it’s a journey, but most of all it is a decision.  I WILL NOT be a victim. I AM in control of my life.  I AM blessed with the life God has given me.  My story is about rheumatoid arthritis, but there are other stories out there.  I just finished a book by Jay Leeuwenburg, Yes I Can! Yes, YOU Can!  It’s a book where Jay “tackles diabetes and wins.”  He was 12 years old when he was first diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes and “through self-discipline and self-reliance overcame the odds to achieve pro football stardom and admiration of America.”  Jay was a high school All-Stater, was a University of Colorado Buff and All-American, as well as a 9-year NFL starter.  From the beginning, even at age 12, Jay took control of the diagnosis of diabetes.  And a crucial part of that journey was the role his family played.  “From the get-go,” explains Jay’s brother, Chris, “we were really immersed in it as a family.  It was a lifestyle.  We knew, to be successful, it was something you did as a family.” Don’t we all need a team around us for support?  It was especially amazing to me to read Jay’s words to his mother as a 12 year old, “Mom, I had a talk with myself.  He said he told himself, ‘Hey, I can accept this and get on with my life, or I can fight it, and say, “This isn't happening to me, and woe is me.”  He made a personal resolve, right then and there, to get on with his life.”  He continually says, throughout the book, that “this is the life I was dealt, I’m going to make the best of it.”  Diabetes was NOT going to define him.

The book continues through Jay’s life as a 12 year old diagnosed with diabetes, through the challenges of playing sports, the challenges of having to take control of his life and not depend on others to always have the correct information, and to educate those around him.  Even in the NFL, he relates a story of being dehydrated and being given a 20% dextrose IV.  That is NOT the answer when you’re diabetic.  Jay, himself, realized the mistake and forced the trainers to give him one with saline.  The stories and his journey are a fascinating read.  The disappointments, the uneducated views about diabetics, the need to constantly monitor his blood sugar levels – 25 times during a game – his “giving back” which has impacted so many children’s lives who have diabetes and especially those who want to play sports, his role not only as an NFL player but a husband, father, and now elementary teacher all have a common theme.  Set goals, no excuses, learn to deal with your own personal challenges in your life, never give up, and “If you put the effort in, if you’re committed, if you’re educated, it you take the necessary steps, you will succeed.”  

Isn't that the message no matter what our challenges might be?  After all, disappointments, loses in a football game, a diagnosis we’d rather not deal with, ignorance, conflicts, family issues etc. are part of that journey we call LIFE.  Will you be one of the 5% that takes control and makes changes in both a healthy body and a healthy mind?  Or will you fall into the 95% that does nothing and ignores the truth?  I wish for you to be one of the 5%!!!