Inspiration or Desperation?

Last week, I wished you a week of reflecting on your WHY’s especially in your career and in your relationships or marriage. What did you learn about yourself? If you did or didn’t examine this question, in more detail, the real question is whether or not you want to do something different in your life.

This is the time of year when parents are going crazy with all the end of the school year concerts, projects, award assemblies, graduation and graduation parties etc. etc. That’s on top of their job and juggling all the other daily stuff. Despite being retired for quite a while now, I still remember that time of year. I get the time thing.

Let’s look then at setting a day that you WILL look at your why’s, and you WILL put into place a reflection time for yourself. After all, it is now almost a full five months into 2017. Summer will bring its own challenges especially if you have children who need activities and things to do. Yes, it’s a slower time on one hand and yet it has its own demands as well.

Let’s be clear. Unless you want something to change or you want to take time for reflection or you don’t want to be in the same place as you were at the end of 2016 in a specific area of your life then STOP with the excuses NOW! Remember, it’s not about how much time you have it’s truly whether or not something is a priority.

If you aren’t sure WHY you are doing what you are doing, or WHY you don’t have a special someone in your life, or WHY you are always playing catch up with your finances etc. etc. then that’s exactly WHY you should stop and take stock on what is going on.

Nothing will change if you’re not willing to change.

Jim Rohn says that “we generally change ourselves for two reasons: inspiration or desperation.” You will always read in his books or hear on his tapes that it’s important to work hard on your own personal growth. Not an easy task, I will admit, however, it’s probably also one of the most rewarding tasks that leads to true growth. If you are truly on a learning and growing life path, you realize that personal development lasts a lifetime.

I am a true believer of “what you become is far more important than what you get.” I’ve learned the question is NOT “what am I getting” but instead it’s “what am I becoming?” They’re really both intertwined because I am learning that what someone becomes directly influences what they get.”

In reading books like Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker and others, they will always say that “income rarely exceeds personal development.” Look around at all the professional athletes who have made 10’s of millions of dollars who are now bankrupt or the lottery winner that is now totally broke. “Sometimes income takes a lucky jump, but unless you learn to handle the responsibilities and the mindset that come with it, it will always shrink back to the amount you can handle.”

Let's look at others words than just income. Marriages rarely exceeds personal development. Relationships rarely exceeds personal development. Spiritual life rarely exceeds personal development. Health rarely exceeds personal development. Parenting rarely exceeds personal development. Job (fill in the blank) rarely exceeds personal development.  

“It’s hard to keep that which has not been obtained through personal development. So here’s the great axiom of life:

       To have more than you’ve got, become more than you are!”  

This is the reason why a lifelong mindset of personal development is essential to success and that is true in ALL areas of your life. Otherwise the axiom of not changing is; 

“Unless you change how you are, you will always have what you got.” Are you really ok with accepting that axiom?

 Life will only change when you do. You can blame and/or complain about your teacher, your coach, your parents, your boss, your ex, your financial planner, your age, your size, your looks etc. all you want but where does that lead you? NO WHERE!

“None of us can completely control external events, but we can always control and adapt our responses.” Think about that. What’s in your control? YOUR responses to the situations and the circumstances that make up your life are ALL in your control. 

We may not be able to control those external events/circumstances, however, we CAN control and adapt our responses. “None of us can know which cards fate is going to deal out, but we can always control how we play them.”

Life always involves opportunity mixed with difficulty. That has been the case since the beginning of time. With that said let’s be clear…my life, your life, anyone’s life will only change when we change. The only way things get better is when you get better. Better is not based on wishes; better is something you become.

Jim Rohn explains, “Personal development is a push. It’s a struggle. It’s a challenge.” It takes a mindset that is willing to accept change. AND it takes consistency. Think about when you’re learning something new whether it be a new skill, a new sport, a new technique, or you’re in a new relationship, or you have a new position coach, or a new boss. You’re being challenged to get out of your comfort zone which is familiar and safe.

Keep in mind that when you’re learning and growing you’re going to feel uncomfortable. That’s the attribute to pay attention to, and it’s ok to be uncomfortable. Unfortunately, what we often times do is tell ourselves that because something is new and different we begin to think that because we are uncomfortable then whatever it is isn’t right. The new relationship isn’t right, the new technique that the coach is teaching me is not the same as the other coach so it’s not right etc.

Are there times when something doesn't seem right? Of course, but I would suggest that until you take the time to find your purpose, your WHY how do you truly evaluate things that come across your path? For example, if you don’t know your own personal value and love yourself, how do you expect to know if a relationship is right for you or not? If you don’t know WHY you’re playing a sport or why you’re in the job you’re in, how do you expect to know if something is right or not?

Often times we confuse our uncomfortable feelings with right and wrong only. Yet if we’ve taken the time to truly know our own personal value, then we can look at other reasons for that uncomfortable feeling. Maybe it’s just because something is new, it’s a different approach, we’ve had more experience now and we’re ready to move on, or maybe we’re realizing that we have more to offer and therefore need a change.

I would encourage you to aim for inspiration when you look at all areas of your life. That means to take personal development seriously and know who you are. That IS in your control! Books, CD’s, seminars, meditation, exercise, face to face conversations…

In addition, as social beings we also need support.  Who do you surround yourself with? Who inspires you to be better? Who guides you to go to the next level? Who encourages you to take risks? Who supports you when you’re down but is not an enabler? Who will be there for you no matter what?

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

“What we think, we become.” – Buddha

I wish you a week of reflection to truly know and accept where you are in your life and where you want to be. This is YOUR journey of a lifetime so make the most of each and every day.