What's your Religious or Spiritual Mindset?

Thank you to so many of you who responded to my last blog about handwriting.  Phil, I appreciated your personal, handwritten response!!!  My hope is that as you send Easter, Passover, birthday, anniversary, sympathy etc. messages, you take the time to handwrite a personal note.

For all of my Christian family and friends, I wish you a special Easter on Sunday the 5th, and for my Jewish friends that you have a special Passover starting this Friday, the 3^rd.

As with most of my blogs, I hope to give you my perspective which may or may not be in alignment with yours, but at least thought provoking.  Past blogs have been about judgment which is all about our personal thoughts and beliefs.  For many of our conflicts personally, in relationships, with colleagues, and even in the world today the conversations tend toward arguments and attempting to sway others to our way of thinking versus a dialogue.  Listening, asking questions without judgment, allows for a safe environment for discussion. 

The Today Show this week is exploring the ideas of faith, spirituality, prayer, and meditation.  Take the time to click on this link and listen to these 13-17 year olds discuss this topic.  http://www.today.com/parents/how-raise-spiritual-child-3-exercises-dr-lisa-miller-2D80574439

According to Hebrews 11:1 the definition of faith is, “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”  Also from Wikipedia, the definition of spirituality is, “people who speak of spirituality outside of religion often define themselves as spiritual not religious.  They generally believe in the existence of different spiritual paths. The emphasis is on the importance of finding one’s own individual path.”  Lisa Miller, Ph.D., director of clinical psychology and founder of the Spirituality Mind Body Institute at Columbia University, Teachers College and also the author of "The Spiritual Child," has spent over a decade researching the impact of religion and spirituality.  According to one of the studies, 77% of those surveyed felt there is a difference between being religious and being spiritual.  Are you one of the 77%?  If so, what are the differences for you? 

What about prayer?  Do you have a definition of prayer for yourself?  Is prayer the same thing or different than sending out words of gratitude?  There are mixed definitions of prayer, but my simplified version is having a personal relationship with a higher power.  What that looks like is very personal and once again not right, wrong good or bad.  For me, I know my prayers and words of gratitude are intermingled and ongoing throughout the day.  As one of the boys in the Today Show piece said that he is Islamic and prays five times a day.  Those times are “dictated.”  The young man stated that those are specific times he is reminded of why he is “still here.”  Others have their rituals of saying prayers before meals, bedtime etc. Does it matter that each of us has his/her/family rituals for praying which may or may not be the same as other family members, friends etc.?

Meditation is the “act or process of spending time in quiet thought.”  Being able to sit quietly, clear the mind, and be in deep thought is that personal time for many people.  As Carson Daily said, “It’s an opportunity to slow down and reflect.”  I would add to that, it’s also a “time out” to be present in what is going on around us.  Personally, I have a hard time “turning my mind off,” but I am learning to be “quiet” in my own mind though I may be surrounded by people.  I’m learning I can step back, observe, and find that inner peace.  As a grandparent, I am much more aware of the little ones as they explore their world, as they challenge Mom and Dad, as they learn life lessons as simple as sharing etc. 

Whether you are Christian, Jewish, Islamic etc., God has many names.  The power of having a relationship with God is what is exciting to me.  Personally, I will celebrate you and your beliefs whatever those beliefs may be.  If you are one that questions whether or not there is a God, that’s ok too, as this is your life and your journey. Isn't it interesting that so many of our biggest wars and conflicts stem from different religious beliefs?  Isn't it interesting that a topic many of us will avoid in group conversations is religion? Wouldn't it be interesting if on a small scale in our own social communities that we could have a discussion about religion or spirituality?  What if we were comfortable to ask questions, LISTEN, and leave the conversation with a better sense of who that other person is on a whole new level?  Wouldn't it be interesting if we could say to the other person, “I celebrate your beliefs and am glad that it is a deep journey for you.” 

Right now looking outside, I see a glorious day with blue skies, a few wispy clouds, majestic, snow-capped mountains, with temperatures predicted to be in the 70’s.  There’s beautiful music playing, and I’m looking forward to another day of abundance and blessings.  I am deeply grateful for my life.

I wish each of you a special time of celebration and reflection.

Here’s to a healthy religious/faithful/spiritual mindset. 

  

Handwriting and Memories

Thanks to all of you who responded with your own hydration stories  A recurring comment was about not realizing medications will dehydrate us.  Good for all of you who now have a higher level of awareness that hydrating your body is essential every day, all day, and every season of the year.

Sunday, March 15^th Parade magazine had a wonderful article on letter writing.  A few weeks ago, I wrote about the importance of writing thank you notes, however, this article takes it one step further.  It also brought up several personal memories and reflections relating to not only letter writing but also the importance of handwriting!!

Last summer, I was going through a safety deposit box and stumbled upon an envelope. In the envelope was a Savings Bond given to me by my Grandma and Grandpa Tilden when I was 16!! That was 47 years ago.  On the envelope was a handwritten message from each of my grandparents in their own handwriting.  I was in one of the private booths, fortunately, as I found myself in tears and overwhelmed with so many memories.  Priceless!  The link between handwriting and one’s memory is so strong and beautiful.  I don't know the science behind it although I'm sure there’s something.  I just know there is some kind of link to handwriting and our memories.

Jon’s mom had the habit of getting all the birthday and anniversary cards for the upcoming month ready to go, ahead of time… addressed, stamped, and signed.  Under the stamp location she would put the date the card needed to be sent to get to the person on time.  In 1997, the middle of April, Grandma Burianek died suddenly. Jason’s birthday is April 29^th, and on that day he received his birthday card with Grandma’s handwriting on the envelope and “Love, Grandma B” signed on the inside.  Grandpa Burianek made sure all the April cards were sent.  Priceless!  That card was one of the first things unpacked and placed on his dresser, a year later, as Jason settled into his dorm room in college.  When asked about it, he said that looking at Grandma’s signature brought back so many memories.  Now 18 years later, married and with two children, that special card is still on Jason’s dresser. 

In sorting through old boxes last week, I came across one box labeled Clarence and another Caroline.  (Jon’s mom and dad.)  Going through the boxes there were wave after wave of emotions, reflections, and "traveling down memory lane" for the next couple hours.  Priceless!  There were hand written notes, cards, her journal, and an array of other wonderful things she had kept.  In a small pink box with blue felt lining was a heart pin.  The handwritten note inside read, “Dad sent this to me in 1943 when he was in the Navy, and I lived alone in Chicago with Penny May (Jon’s older sister), just a baby.  I read this note and envisioned a young woman with a new baby, alone in an apartment, and worried about her husband halfway around the world fighting in a war.  If it were not for the note, we would not understand the significance of the heart pin. Priceless!

As stated in the Parade article about letter writing, Liz Welch writes, “Whatever their content, it’s not just the words that give letters their power – it’s the emotional connections.  Whether saved, framed, or filed, they're tangible proof of relationships.  Each time they’re read, they transport us back to our feelings about a specific time, place, person, or event.”  I would extend these words to not only letters, but handwritten notes, recipes, favorite quotes etc.  The key…HANDWRITTEN.  Sending an email, text, making a phone call are all fine, but they don't create memories and they're not tangible.  I can tell you that a handwritten note to an athlete from the head coach makes a HUGE impact and leaves a positive impression on a young man or woman.  It’s all about the impression that someone cares enough to take the time to hand write something. 

HANDWRITING!  “This emotional connection may be the reason hand-written communications are making a comeback.”  It doesn't matter if you print, use cursive (yes, some of us still use cursive), or if you don't have very “nice” handwriting.  The important part is one, you do handwrite some things, two, you date the note, letter etc. and three you sign it, if applicable.  It’s the handwriting itself that has the memory link, not the words. It’s the visual recognition of a particular handwriting that triggers a vision of that person.  I know exactly when I’m getting a letter from my mom or one of my sisters or sister-in-laws.  I know their handwriting and there’s an anticipation to read what’s inside.

What can you do TODAY that will lead a trail to you?  What memories, through your handwritten recipe, card, note of encouragement, etc. will you leave behind for your family?  If nothing else start saving things that are important to you, put a quick sticky note on things that could use a little description for clarification, and put them in a box.  That takes little time and your children, grandchildren, and future generations will be the beneficiaries of your attention.  If you're single now, this still applies to you.   This is only one part of your life that you too want to remember and is a reflection on what’s important and personal to you. 

“We are all in desperate need for tactile proof that we matter – handwritten letters, notes, cards etc give us all just that.”  Priceless!

Here’s to a healthy mindset that individually we each matter.  We can make a small difference in someone else’s life as well as creating a generation of memories through something as simple as our handwritten notes.  What can you do TODAY?

Are You Staying Hydrated?

Well…did you START?  Did you at least make one small change in your exercise routine even if it was taking the stairs instead of the elevator?  Maybe all you can do right now is upper body strengthening.  Whatever it is remember all the benefits to you and a healthy lifestyle, but you have to make the decision to START.

To add to your healthy mindset, are you staying hydrated?  What’s the big deal about drinking water?  I know it’s important but why?  Yes, I get thirsty, but I’m confused about how much I actually need to drink.  It’s been reported that water accounts for 60% of our body – approximately 11 gallons which equates to about 92 pounds in a 155 pound person. The bottom line is drinking water (either plain or in the form of other fluids or foods) is essential to your health.

Think of water as a nutrient your body needs that is present in liquids, plain water, and foods.  Kaiser Permanente nephrologist Steven Guest, MD, says, “Fluid losses occur continuously from breathing, sweating, urinating, and more.”  Digestion, absorption, circulation, creating saliva, transporting nutrients, and maintenance of our body’s temperature are all needing water and other fluids.  When your water intake doesn’t equal your output, you can become dehydrated.  In fact, if you're thirsty you’re already slightly dehydrated.  Warmer temperatures, strenuous exercise, high altitude, taking medications all accentuate our need to keep our bodies hydrated.  Older adults whose sense of thirst may not be as sharp definitely need strategies to keep hydrated.   I know, for me, I have a harder time drinking water/fluids during the colder months.  We make sure when people are visiting us here in Colorado, we push the fluids or headaches are the first sign of dehydration.  At 87, I suggested my mom keep a glass of water on her counter and make a tally mark when she finished one glass and filled another.  She would think she was drinking far more water than she actually was drinking so the tally marks were helping her keep track of what she was actually drinking.   

So specifically, how does water impact our breath, muscles, and even our brain function?  Researchers hypothesize that not having enough water could reduce oxygen flow to the brain! “Staying hydrated keeps your memory sharp, your mood stable and your motivation intake.”  The next time you’re feeling ”out of sorts” or you're struggling to come up with solutions to a problem/issue try drinking a glass of water. Really?  Yes, it really does work – try it.   Did you know your heart has to work harder when you're dehydrated?  Dehydration lowers your blood volume.  It takes more for your heart to pump the reduced amount of blood and get enough oxygen to your cells.  This then makes everyday activities like walking up stairs – as well as exercise – much more difficult.  It makes sense, I just hadn't thought of it quite that way.

Your kidneys need water to filter waste from the blood and excrete urine.  Keeping hydrated may also help prevent urinary tract infections and kidney stones. “Your kidneys do an amazing job of cleansing, and ridding your body of toxins as long as your intake of fluids is adequate,”according to Dr. Guest MD.  

Research is suggesting the following tips to help you take in more fluids:

1.    Have a beverage with every snack and meal.

2.    Choose beverages you enjoy as you’re more likely to drink more liquids.

3.    If you're not a fan of plain water add either lemon or lime concentrate for added flavor.

4.   Eat more fruits and vegetables.  Their high water content will add to your hydration.  About 20% of our fluid intake comes from foods.

5.   Keep a bottle of water with you at all times – in your car, by your night table, out on the counter at home, or on your desk at work. 

6.   Be sure to choose beverages that meet your individual needs.  If you're watching calories, go for the low calorie beverages or better yet, just water.

7.   Drink water, juice, milk, coffee or tea – anything but alcohol. 

8.   Be aware that alcohol interferes with the brain and kidney communication and causes excretion of fluid which then leads to dehydration.

9.   Water-rich foods include fruits, vegetables, broth based soups, oatmeal, and beans.

So how much water should I be drinking?  We've probably all heard  we need to take half our body weight for the number of ounces of water we should drink daily.  Mayo Clinic suggests that this is just a guideline as everyone has different needs.  What is your activity level, do you live in high altitude areas, are you taking prescription medicines, are you a senior, are you an athlete competing on a regular basis etc.?  Half your weight is just a baseline as you may need much more than that.  Pay attention to your water and fluid intake as it does make a difference in your overall health! If you've not been a water drinker, START now.  It's a habit that takes time to develop, but it's important to your health, and it's easy to do. 

Here’s to your healthy hydration!  

Now You Want Me to Exercise?

According to Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, “If exercise and regular physical activity benefit the body, a sedentary lifestyle does the opposite, increasing the chances of becoming overweight and developing a number of chronic diseases.  This week, I want to directly talk about exercise.  Hear me out, you’re either already agreeing with me because you are actively exercising on a regular basis, or you’re already saying to yourself that you know all the benefits, but….  The excuses are beginning and probably the first being, “I don't have any more time in the day.”  (Remember…it’s not that you don’t have any time, we all have 24 hours, the real reason is that exercise isn't a priority.)  Yes, I know there are other reasons why you are telling yourself you can’t exercise, but read on.  There is SOMETHING that each of us can do!  IT’S IMPORTANT!!

Before going on, my story is one that probably sounds familiar, and my story is also full of excuses.  Working full time, going in early to take kids to school then getting ready for my teaching day, followed by all the demands of after school activities, fitting in dinner, and then grading papers or planning for the next day, my days were full and NO I didn't make exercising a priority.  The good news/bad news was I didn't have a weight problem therefore, I didn't think I needed to exercise.  (Of course, that’s also a limited understanding about exercise as it isn't just about weight loss.)  It wasn't until I was in my late 40’s did I begin to put a little exercise into my day.  Curves was the big craze, the Curves Centers were everywhere, they focused on women, and it was about 30 minutes.  That was my first introduction to the exercise world.  I admit I was surprised with how much more energy I found I had. After a couple of years Curves wasn't meeting my needs any more.  Jon and I came across some videos eg Slim in Six by Beach Body.  We began to use our basement as our “gym,” and we made a commitment to work out five days a week.  That was my next step.

My first suggestion for you is to decide if you are now willing to find time to do something.  You definitely need to assess your preferences - where and when do you prefer to do that “something?”  Are you someone who needs a partner or a support group to work out with?  Do you like a place like the Y or an athletic club, or are you ok doing videos in front of your TV at home?  Maybe you like to swim laps or walk around a track?  Maybe you just like to walk around the block especially when the weather warms up.  What works for you?  What is going to set you up to be successful from the start?  You must find something that is doable and will work for you, your time constraints, and your preferences.  Knowing what works best for you will allow you to be more apt to follow through on your commitment.  I, for one, did not like the athletic club environment; therefore, I was not committed. That meant I wasn't consistent in going and yes, I finally quit. 

“Although there are no sure-fire recipes for good health, the mixture of healthy eating and regular exercise comes awfully close.  Regular exercise or physical activity helps many of the body’s systems function better, keeps heart disease, diabetes, and a host of other diseases at bay, as well as a key ingredient for losing weight.”  What’s surprising is that “only 30% of adult Americans report they get regular physical activity during their leisure time and about 40% say they get no leisure-time physical activity at all.”  According to the CDC (Centers for Disease Control) and Prevention, “inactivity was associated with more than 9 million cases of cardiovascular disease in 2001, at an estimated direct medical cost of nearly $24 billion – and that was 14 years ago!!  If we can get people to become more active, we can cut yearly medical costs in the U.S. by more than $70 billion plus!”

As a brief overview, the benefits of exercise are numerous!  Exercise: (1) helps prevent disease, (2) improves stamina, (3) strengthens and tones when resistance training is included, (4) enhances flexibility which includes better posture and is key as you get older, (5) is key to weight control, (6) improves the overall quality of life.  According to the Mayo Clinic article on “Benefits of Regular Activity,” they also include the following benefits:  (1) not only will exercise prevent excess weight gain but will help maintain weight loss, (2)  there’s a decrease in your risk of cardiovascular diseases, and helps prevent a wide range of health problems such as stoke, type 2 diabetes, depression, certain types of cancer, arthritis, and falls, (3) stimulates various brain chemicals helping relieve stress, you may feel better about your appearance which boosts confidence and self-esteem, (4) when you’re feeling more energized because of the activity, you look better which does have a positive effect on your sex life J Not a bad list of positives. But is it enough to make you decide that you need to make a change in your level of activity?

Denise Austin wrote an article for AARP, “7 Healthy Lifestyle Tips.”   Now at age 58 she shares these tips with the first one the foundation….START!!  “It’s all about establishing a routine even if it’s 10 minutes to move and five minutes added the next time.  (2) Mix up your activity for best results which also helps with not getting bored.  Intervals blast the fat, (3) Find your personal joy in WHY you want to get healthy, (4) Be CONSISTENT.  Consistency is KEY!  (5)  If you use music, vary what you listen to, (6) Eat well 80% of the time.  Denise gives herself “cheat meals” 20% of the time.  It’s a balance.  That would not be the case, however, if you have a great deal of weight to lost first, (7) Keep superfoods on hand – banish junk food. 

Our daughter made a decision almost a year ago that she wanted to look and feel better.  She and her husband are in their early 30’s, and have committed to the importance of exercise as a priority for all of the above benefits.  They both work full time, they have two children, and are BUSY.  Elsa has been focusing on changing their eating habits by planning meals two to three weeks in advance and also plans out healthy snack choices for all of them to have on hand.  The key is once again healthy eating AND exercising as a mindset.  This is not something that happens overnight.  What it does take is a mindset, commitment, and consistency.  She made a decision to START.  No more excuses.

 

“Exercise is one of those rare things where the hype actually meets reality.  Next to not smoking, getting regular physical activity is arguably the best thing you can do for your health.  Any amount of exercise is better than none.  The more you get, though, the better. 

I wish you a week of starting YOUR physical activity,.  Set yourself up to be successful,  know your limits, know your personal needs, and find the tools eg. Yoga class, videos, etc. you need to get started. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

What Part Does Social Media Play in Your Life?

I have written several blogs about judgment.  My point has been that we each have our own thoughts, experiences, beliefs etc. that form who we are and the judgments we hold.  My goal is to understand that our judgments are just that – ours.  It’s not to try to persuade someone else to our way of thinking, but rather to have a discussion, listen, and maybe see another view point.  That’s called conversation NOT argument or persuasion.  What has gotten me riled this morning is definitely MY judgment so I admit that from the very beginning.  I do welcome anyone commenting, agreeing or not, so that I can learn too.

SNL’s skit about ISIS, Tweets surrounding William Shatner not attending the funeral of his friend Leonard Nimoy, hateful tweets surrounding various events at the Oscars, Facebook entrees using foul language about another person’s activities etc. etc.  My first thought is, “What has this world come to?”  Yes, I’m 63 but that doesn't mean I'm not up-to-date on technology, or I have my head in the sand.  I do have my own opinions about being respectful to EVERYONE and teaching our children and grandchildren to do the same.  I’m also of the opinion/judgment that if you don't have something nice to say, don't say it especially if you hide behind anonymity. I am a firm believer in the First Amendment which is freedom of speech, yet have we sometimes crossed the line and used our freedom well beyond what was originally intended?  (That’s for another blog.)  

These blogs are my thoughts.  I don't expect everyone to agree, I'm not here to persuade you to my way of thinking, and I definitely am NOT going to respond to tweets that have nothing to do with me.  My hope is I give you some food for thought. 

Social media sites, in my judgment, have taken over our lives.  Do you realize ten years ago, there was no Facebook, there was no Twitter?  Like most things in our lives there is the good, the bad and sometimes even the ugly.  To begin, using many of the social media sites have been a fun, personal, and easy way to stay in touch with my family and friends.  The other day, Jon and I were able to Skype with our former neighbors who are now living in Perth, Australia.  To see them, hear their voices, see their smiles, and chat was a very special part of our day.  Skyping with our children and grandchildren who are so many miles away helps us feel closer, see how much they've grown, we are not strangers when the grandchildren can see us, and we can watch as they are just learning to crawl or walk or shoot a basket.  The best part of communicating this way is it’s free, unlike the high costs we use to pay for long distance phone calls.  We feel we're right there with them not worrying about the time and the cost.  I totally enjoy seeing pictures posted on FB of our Australian friends who are out boating on the ocean as it’s summer there, or the pictures of our grandchildren building igloos in their front yard, or the new grandchild of a friend.  Even though I’m far away, I still feel connected. 

Social media has also been a way for me to communicate with my business company on the latest product information, videos, or testimonials.  I can communicate with and send information to my customers with a link to YouTube or a website.  It’s definitely an efficient way to pass on information.  In addition, there are incredible causes, nonprofits, communication that needs to get out to a lot of people quickly where there’s a need for financial support, prayers, updates on someone’s health condition and so much more.  It’s been documented that young people are more involved than ever in their country’s politics – around the world!  Nonprofits are seeing the benefits of using social media for their awareness campaigns.  Using Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and other social media venues are more cost effective spreading their mission, their vision for the future, and gathering support financially.  I’m only touching on a few of the MANY benefits and reasons to love social media.

So what’s the downside?  In my judgment, social media can also be a way to “hide behind the screen” especially when we can remain anonymous.  In the past, I never would acknowledge a letter or any other form of communication without knowing who I was dealing with.  That also included conversations where someone would say, “I’m not the only one who feels this way.”  I was very direct by saying I would listen to the person in front of me and if “the others who feel the same way” want to come and talk to me, I would be happy to listen.  However, I would not acknowledge “others” unless they were present.  That doesn't seem to be the method of communicating these days, however.

I am appalled at the number of people in the social media world today who feel a need to express their opinion/judgment about someone else’s actions. I find that it seems primarily to be done in a condescending manner AND anonymously.  Sorry…first of all, much of what is being said is none of their business, and what a chicken way out by not stating your name.  Twitter seems to be one of the worst.  Everyone has an opinion about everything.  Today, William Shatner has been attacked both on Twitter and in the news media for not attending Leonard Nemoy’s funeral.  Shatner, a close friend, was attending a Red Cross charity fundraiser and missed the actual funeral though arrived later.  He’s now being called “Captain Jerk.”  What?  Since when is what William Shatner does anyone else’s business and why should he have to justify what he does to ANYONE?  We were not there, we don’t know all the details, yet the opinions and hateful comments fly through the media.  My question is, “Why do you care?  It doesn't involve you, it doesn't affect you.  Do you really have that much free time on your hands?  Are you so bored that you have nothing else to do but to say negative things about people you don’t even know?  Do you feel that much out of control in your own life that you feel a need to have a say in someone else’s life?  Does it make you feel better about yourself?”  This is NOT news!

Since this is not a blog meant to cover all the issues of social media, I want to acknowledge that I have a concern that social media is taking over our lives – some people more than others, obviously.  My frustration comes when people are impolite talking on their phones in public and especially in confined spaces e.g. the line in the grocery store, on the bus to the airport, in an elevator, while out to dinner, and even in a movie theater.  What about the work environment?  How much time do you take during the week day to check your email, post a message on FB or Twitter?  (It would be an interesting experiment to put a tally mark on a piece of paper every time you're distracted by a social media site then, at the end of the day, count how many tally marks you made.) Can you guess how much of your work day you spent on social media versus working your full time, paying job?  How does your family approach checking emails or texting during meal time?  Do you have family time where everyone has to have their phones turned off and that means Mom and Dad too?!!  There’s been a discussion, on the morning shows, about the interference of bosses contacting employees at home and the stress that causes.  Does that happen to you?  What’s in your control to resolve that problem?  If it happens occasionally, that’s one thing, but if it is happening on a regular basis isn't it something that must be dealt with to come to a resolution?  In the evenings, are you busy on your IPad doing other things while your children are playing by themselves?  Do you find yourself so attached to the phone that you check it every time it beeps even to the point of stopping a conversation with someone?  Like most things, if we are becoming “addicted,” the balance of using social media is at an unhealthy level and is controlling our lives then it's time to stop and re-evaluate.  And I haven't even touched on the topic of texting! 

In the end, there are pluses and minuses to ALL that we do: nutrition, exercise, work, personal development, and yes, our approach to using social media.  If you find yourself out of balance, I hope you take time to rethink what that balance should be for you.  My hope is you keep your own life centered in reality. Don’t miss those moments with your spouse or significant other, the conversations with your children, the together time with family and friends, conversations over the phone versus texting, and definitely face-to-face conversations.  Balance!

Here’s to a healthy mindset when it comes to you, your life, and social media.