It's Time for Easter and Passover

Did you take time, this week, to look at the power of your thinking, your mindset, and which voice you are listening to – the positive or the negative? What did you learn about yourself? Hopefully, you realize you are doing a great job with how you think and if not, this is something that you can focus on and learn to think differently.

For all of my Christian family and friends, I wish you a special Easter on Sunday the 27th, and for my Jewish friends that you have a special Passover which started on Friday, the 22nd.

As with most of my blogs, I hope to give you my perspective which may or may not be in alignment with yours, but at least thought provoking.  Past blogs have been about judgment which is all about our personal thoughts and beliefs.  For many of our conflicts personally, in relationships, with colleagues, and even in the world today the conversations tend toward arguments and attempting to sway others to our way of thinking versus a dialogue.  Listening, asking questions without judgment, allows for a safe environment for discussion.

According to Hebrews 11:1 the definition of faith is, “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”  Also from Wikipedia, the definition of spirituality is, “people who speak of spirituality outside of religion often define themselves as spiritual not religious.  They generally believe in the existence of different spiritual paths. The emphasis is on the importance of finding one’s own individual path.”  Lisa Miller, Ph.D., director of clinical psychology and founder of the Spirituality Mind Body Institute at Columbia University, Teachers College and also the author of "The Spiritual Child," has spent over a decade researching the impact of religion and spirituality.  According to one of the studies, 77% of those surveyed felt there is a difference between being religious and being spiritual.  Are you one of the 77%?  If so, what are the differences for you? 

What about prayer?  Do you have a definition of prayer for yourself?  Is prayer the same thing or different than sending out words of gratitude?  There are mixed definitions of prayer, but my simplified version is having a personal relationship with a higher power.  What that looks like is very personal and once again not right, wrong good or bad.  For me, I know my prayers and words of gratitude are intermingled and ongoing throughout the day.  A young Islamic man says he prays five times a day.  Those times are “dictated.”  He stated that those are specific times when he is reminded of why he is “still here.”  Others have their rituals of saying prayers before meals, bedtime etc. Does it really matter that each of us has his/her/family rituals for praying which may or may not be the same as other family members, friends etc.?

Meditation is the “act or process of spending time in quiet thought.”  Being able to sit quietly, clear the mind, and be in deep thought is that personal time for many people.  As Carson Daily said, “It’s an opportunity to slow down and reflect.”  I would add to that, it’s also a “time out” to be present in what is going on around us.  Personally, I have a hard time “turning my mind off,” but I am learning to be “quiet” in my own mind though I may be surrounded by people.  I’m learning I can step back, observe, and find that inner peace.  As a grandparent, I am much more aware of the little ones as they explore their world, as they challenge Mom and Dad, as they learn life lessons as simple as sharing etc. 

Whether you are Christian, Jewish, Islamic etc., God has many names.  The power of having a relationship with God is what is exciting to me.  Personally, I will celebrate you and your beliefs whatever those beliefs may be.  If you are one that questions whether or not there is a God, that’s ok too, as this is your life and your journey. Isn’t it interesting that so many of our biggest wars and conflicts stem from different religious beliefs?  Isn’t it interesting that a topic many of us will avoid in group conversations is religion. 

Wouldn’t it be interesting if on a small scale in our own social communities that we could have a discussion about religion or spirituality?  What if we were comfortable to ask questions, LISTEN, and leave the conversation with a better sense of who that other person is on a whole new level?  Wouldn’t it be interesting if we could say to the other person, “I celebrate your beliefs and am glad that it is a deep journey for you.” 

Right now looking outside, I see a glorious day with blue skies, a few wispy clouds, majestic, snow-capped mountains, with temperatures predicted to be in the 70’s.  There’s beautiful music playing, and I’m looking forward to another day of abundance and blessings.  I am deeply grateful for my life. I wish you all a special time of celebration and reflection.

I wish you a week of a healthy religious/faithful/spiritual mindset. 

 

What's your Religious or Spiritual Mindset?

Thank you to so many of you who responded to my last blog about handwriting.  Phil, I appreciated your personal, handwritten response!!!  My hope is that as you send Easter, Passover, birthday, anniversary, sympathy etc. messages, you take the time to handwrite a personal note.

For all of my Christian family and friends, I wish you a special Easter on Sunday the 5th, and for my Jewish friends that you have a special Passover starting this Friday, the 3^rd.

As with most of my blogs, I hope to give you my perspective which may or may not be in alignment with yours, but at least thought provoking.  Past blogs have been about judgment which is all about our personal thoughts and beliefs.  For many of our conflicts personally, in relationships, with colleagues, and even in the world today the conversations tend toward arguments and attempting to sway others to our way of thinking versus a dialogue.  Listening, asking questions without judgment, allows for a safe environment for discussion. 

The Today Show this week is exploring the ideas of faith, spirituality, prayer, and meditation.  Take the time to click on this link and listen to these 13-17 year olds discuss this topic.  http://www.today.com/parents/how-raise-spiritual-child-3-exercises-dr-lisa-miller-2D80574439

According to Hebrews 11:1 the definition of faith is, “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”  Also from Wikipedia, the definition of spirituality is, “people who speak of spirituality outside of religion often define themselves as spiritual not religious.  They generally believe in the existence of different spiritual paths. The emphasis is on the importance of finding one’s own individual path.”  Lisa Miller, Ph.D., director of clinical psychology and founder of the Spirituality Mind Body Institute at Columbia University, Teachers College and also the author of "The Spiritual Child," has spent over a decade researching the impact of religion and spirituality.  According to one of the studies, 77% of those surveyed felt there is a difference between being religious and being spiritual.  Are you one of the 77%?  If so, what are the differences for you? 

What about prayer?  Do you have a definition of prayer for yourself?  Is prayer the same thing or different than sending out words of gratitude?  There are mixed definitions of prayer, but my simplified version is having a personal relationship with a higher power.  What that looks like is very personal and once again not right, wrong good or bad.  For me, I know my prayers and words of gratitude are intermingled and ongoing throughout the day.  As one of the boys in the Today Show piece said that he is Islamic and prays five times a day.  Those times are “dictated.”  The young man stated that those are specific times he is reminded of why he is “still here.”  Others have their rituals of saying prayers before meals, bedtime etc. Does it matter that each of us has his/her/family rituals for praying which may or may not be the same as other family members, friends etc.?

Meditation is the “act or process of spending time in quiet thought.”  Being able to sit quietly, clear the mind, and be in deep thought is that personal time for many people.  As Carson Daily said, “It’s an opportunity to slow down and reflect.”  I would add to that, it’s also a “time out” to be present in what is going on around us.  Personally, I have a hard time “turning my mind off,” but I am learning to be “quiet” in my own mind though I may be surrounded by people.  I’m learning I can step back, observe, and find that inner peace.  As a grandparent, I am much more aware of the little ones as they explore their world, as they challenge Mom and Dad, as they learn life lessons as simple as sharing etc. 

Whether you are Christian, Jewish, Islamic etc., God has many names.  The power of having a relationship with God is what is exciting to me.  Personally, I will celebrate you and your beliefs whatever those beliefs may be.  If you are one that questions whether or not there is a God, that’s ok too, as this is your life and your journey. Isn't it interesting that so many of our biggest wars and conflicts stem from different religious beliefs?  Isn't it interesting that a topic many of us will avoid in group conversations is religion? Wouldn't it be interesting if on a small scale in our own social communities that we could have a discussion about religion or spirituality?  What if we were comfortable to ask questions, LISTEN, and leave the conversation with a better sense of who that other person is on a whole new level?  Wouldn't it be interesting if we could say to the other person, “I celebrate your beliefs and am glad that it is a deep journey for you.” 

Right now looking outside, I see a glorious day with blue skies, a few wispy clouds, majestic, snow-capped mountains, with temperatures predicted to be in the 70’s.  There’s beautiful music playing, and I’m looking forward to another day of abundance and blessings.  I am deeply grateful for my life.

I wish each of you a special time of celebration and reflection.

Here’s to a healthy religious/faithful/spiritual mindset. 

  

Accepting and Loving Unconditionally

Before I begin this week’s blog, I want to express my sadness and prayers of strength to the wife, children, and family of Robin Williams.  There has been an outpouring of love and reflections of a talented man who gave so much to all those around him.  He was a champion for military personnel making numerous trips to the “front” in many of our wars, he had a personal relationship with Christopher Reeves, his family, and his foundation especially after his accident, he made his way to those in the audience to shake hands and make people laugh.  And then there was the Mork and Mindy TV series, to so many of his movies; all making us laugh, cry, feel light-hearted and reflect.  What a gift he had and yet he was also a man struggling with addictions and depression.  Can we learn from this?  He wasn’t in a wheel chair, he didn’t limp, he didn’t use a cane, there were no physical disabilities that the general public could see, however, he had his own struggles. Yet, I would venture to guess, his close family and friends loved and accepted him unconditionally.

Accepting and Loving Unconditionally.    First of all, let’s get a definition of the words conditional and unconditional.  Conditional is defined as, “made or allowed on certain terms, one or more requirements needed to be met on specific terms.” The definition of unconditional, on the other hand, is “not limited by conditions or limitations.”  It’s interesting to me to hear the nightly news of our global conflicts, read American history or any country’s history for that matter, even listening to communication around us at both work and at home.  Race, religion, sexual preference, abortion, marijuana (since I’m here in Colorado I had to mention that one), political preference, male – female, economic status, and the list goes on and on.  We have our own opinions and judgment.  The question I’m contemplating this week and beyond is, Can we, individually, start accepting (or loving) unconditionally rather than judging?  If we did that, what would our world look like?

I’ve written about judgment and acceptance before.  Yes, it’s two of those traits that bears repeating yet maybe in another way.  I could take the approach that there’s nothing I can do about many of the religious conflicts currently going on, the political issues with Russia and the Ukraine, etc.  However, I choose to do what is in my control.  After all, that’s all I can do anyway, right?!  We all have our own experiences, our own opinions, our own styles, our own comfort zones, our own uniqueness.  With that brings all the reasons why we may have all the conflicts and “issues” that we have.  Yet, the one thing we all have in common is how we decide we will express and deal with those differences.  Doesn’t it come down to choice?  Back to an earlier blog, isn’t it really our need for acceptance or a need for control?  UNCONDITIONAL love and acceptance is without limitations or conditions.

In Robin Williams words from the Dead Poets Society, “words and ideas can change the world.”  For me, that’s not just a line in a movie, it’s the way our lives can be!  It IS a choice.  The choice is to interact with all those around us whether they be family, an acquaintance, or even a brief encounter.  My belief is that our God is God of the whole world.  God is loving and pulls all people in.  God shows unconditional love and acceptance, in my opinion.  So what’s our job?  First, I can accept others even if I don’t agree with them. I can support and be available.   I may not like their choices, but everyone is on a journey and if I can give acceptance and love for them in all parts of their journey that’s what’s in my control.  Can I give my opinion, suggestions, another view point?  Of course, that’s my role as a parent, spouse, and friend.  But what’s NOT my role is to convince others they’re wrong and should do something MY way. It's NOT my role to deny their feelings.   I can pray that God give THEM the strength and understanding, but I need to let go of my need for acceptance or control.  Having heard from parents with children who have addictions, they have often said they love them unconditionally, however, they do not like or support the particular behavior.  In fact, you may want to click on this link from AA:  http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/smf-121_en.pdf  Personally, this list is something to live by for all of us.  What if our words were words of hope, encouragement, we asked reflecting questions all with the purpose to “sow seeds,” that may later grow?  

We often encounter situations which don’t fit into our personal philosophy. What if we decided to live our lives accepting and loving unconditionally, which means before judging we listen, learn why something is the way it is, we give everyone room to grow and change, and/or we accept differences despite our own belief system. God has the bigger plan for each of us.  We don’t have to understand to accept and love unconditionally.  We have choices to make.  Maybe that choice is to avoid a particular person, situation, environment because it’s toxic.  It is what it is.  So, can I live with not having things my way and on my timeline?  That’s a key question.

WOW.  This turned into a blog heavier than I originally intended.  I hope you have a few things to think about from this point forward.  I wish you unconditional acceptance and love for YOURSELF and then others.

The only way love can last a lifetime is if it's unconditional. The truth is this: love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love.” 
― Stephen Kendrick, The Love Dare