What's your Religious or Spiritual Mindset?

Thank you to so many of you who responded to my last blog about handwriting.  Phil, I appreciated your personal, handwritten response!!!  My hope is that as you send Easter, Passover, birthday, anniversary, sympathy etc. messages, you take the time to handwrite a personal note.

For all of my Christian family and friends, I wish you a special Easter on Sunday the 5th, and for my Jewish friends that you have a special Passover starting this Friday, the 3^rd.

As with most of my blogs, I hope to give you my perspective which may or may not be in alignment with yours, but at least thought provoking.  Past blogs have been about judgment which is all about our personal thoughts and beliefs.  For many of our conflicts personally, in relationships, with colleagues, and even in the world today the conversations tend toward arguments and attempting to sway others to our way of thinking versus a dialogue.  Listening, asking questions without judgment, allows for a safe environment for discussion. 

The Today Show this week is exploring the ideas of faith, spirituality, prayer, and meditation.  Take the time to click on this link and listen to these 13-17 year olds discuss this topic.  http://www.today.com/parents/how-raise-spiritual-child-3-exercises-dr-lisa-miller-2D80574439

According to Hebrews 11:1 the definition of faith is, “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”  Also from Wikipedia, the definition of spirituality is, “people who speak of spirituality outside of religion often define themselves as spiritual not religious.  They generally believe in the existence of different spiritual paths. The emphasis is on the importance of finding one’s own individual path.”  Lisa Miller, Ph.D., director of clinical psychology and founder of the Spirituality Mind Body Institute at Columbia University, Teachers College and also the author of "The Spiritual Child," has spent over a decade researching the impact of religion and spirituality.  According to one of the studies, 77% of those surveyed felt there is a difference between being religious and being spiritual.  Are you one of the 77%?  If so, what are the differences for you? 

What about prayer?  Do you have a definition of prayer for yourself?  Is prayer the same thing or different than sending out words of gratitude?  There are mixed definitions of prayer, but my simplified version is having a personal relationship with a higher power.  What that looks like is very personal and once again not right, wrong good or bad.  For me, I know my prayers and words of gratitude are intermingled and ongoing throughout the day.  As one of the boys in the Today Show piece said that he is Islamic and prays five times a day.  Those times are “dictated.”  The young man stated that those are specific times he is reminded of why he is “still here.”  Others have their rituals of saying prayers before meals, bedtime etc. Does it matter that each of us has his/her/family rituals for praying which may or may not be the same as other family members, friends etc.?

Meditation is the “act or process of spending time in quiet thought.”  Being able to sit quietly, clear the mind, and be in deep thought is that personal time for many people.  As Carson Daily said, “It’s an opportunity to slow down and reflect.”  I would add to that, it’s also a “time out” to be present in what is going on around us.  Personally, I have a hard time “turning my mind off,” but I am learning to be “quiet” in my own mind though I may be surrounded by people.  I’m learning I can step back, observe, and find that inner peace.  As a grandparent, I am much more aware of the little ones as they explore their world, as they challenge Mom and Dad, as they learn life lessons as simple as sharing etc. 

Whether you are Christian, Jewish, Islamic etc., God has many names.  The power of having a relationship with God is what is exciting to me.  Personally, I will celebrate you and your beliefs whatever those beliefs may be.  If you are one that questions whether or not there is a God, that’s ok too, as this is your life and your journey. Isn't it interesting that so many of our biggest wars and conflicts stem from different religious beliefs?  Isn't it interesting that a topic many of us will avoid in group conversations is religion? Wouldn't it be interesting if on a small scale in our own social communities that we could have a discussion about religion or spirituality?  What if we were comfortable to ask questions, LISTEN, and leave the conversation with a better sense of who that other person is on a whole new level?  Wouldn't it be interesting if we could say to the other person, “I celebrate your beliefs and am glad that it is a deep journey for you.” 

Right now looking outside, I see a glorious day with blue skies, a few wispy clouds, majestic, snow-capped mountains, with temperatures predicted to be in the 70’s.  There’s beautiful music playing, and I’m looking forward to another day of abundance and blessings.  I am deeply grateful for my life.

I wish each of you a special time of celebration and reflection.

Here’s to a healthy religious/faithful/spiritual mindset. 

  

Happy Father's Day!!

Celebrating the dads in our lives is officially designated as the third Sunday in June.  As I think about my own dad, it’s apparent that the role of dad has evolved taking on many different “looks” today versus when I was growing up.  My personal experience at age 62 and the oldest of four siblings, was different than my youngest sister who was nine years younger.  My dad was at the beginning of his career as a lawyer and trying to establish himself.  In the 50’s, there were the stereotypical roles of dad as the “bread winner” and mom as the stay-at-home mom.  The regular family hour TV shows were ones like: Father Knows Best, Leave it to Beaver, Ozzie and Harriet, etc.  First of all, every show was with married couples, all white ethnicity, dad was the one who went off to work in the morning, he was the disciplinarian, mom cleaned in a dress and heels, and cooked meals which were always ready when Dad got home. My family was fairly typical although my mom didn’t wear the dress and heels.  J As a female growing up in that generation, the message was that the men took care of the women especially when it came to cars and finances. It was subtle yet definitely there and made life “interesting” when it came to being on my own. I knew my dad loved me more through his actions as he was not one to openly show his feelings.  Being more demonstrative with his feelings came in his later years which, I think, was typical of many fathers in that era.

The Today Show had a powerful two week series about dads.  Dads who were single parents, stay-at-home dads, the “traditional” dad who works a regular job, a dad who had recently lost his spouse and mother of their children now filling both roles, dads who themselves didn’t know their father or dads who lived with a father who had an addiction and dads from all ethnic backgrounds.  We often talk about the mothers who are single moms, stay-at-home moms, etc. etc., but how often do we think about those same situations with our dads?  A recurring complaint from the dads interviewed as well as the male anchors on the Today Show, was when they’re with their children, they’re asked if they’re babysitting.  Really?  What is the message about the role we think our dads play in the lives of our children?  There continue to be, in my opinion, mixed messages about the role of our dads and the impact they have in our children’s lives.

In 1980, Jon became a dad for the first time and then again in 1982.  At the ages of 35 and 38, he was in a different place in his career and in his life.  One thing was definitely true…he was not comfortable with babies and forget if changing diapers was involved.  The first time I left the house for a short time and he was taking care of Jason, I came home only to find that Jason looked like he’d been tarred and feathered.  Baby powder was poofing out of his diaper, and with further investigation, he was lathered in A&D ointment. When the truth came out, Jon had called a friend over to change the diaper!!  Yes, really!  But once those little ones start to move around more, smile, and are developing a personality, Jon is now in his comfort zone.  He has been an incredibly supportive, encouraging, teaching, sharing, and involved type of dad.  He coached baseball and basketball, sheered sheep, clipped cows, hauled animals to fairs, went to every possible event possible, was there for parent-teacher conferences, and was home for dinner.  The kids were a top priority.  He always said we only had them for 18 years and that that time would fly by - as it did.  What’s interesting, yet not surprising, is our “kids” continue to call their dad for advice, suggestions, feedback, and just to share what’s happening in their lives.  Now with grandchildren, being involved in their lives is a key priority as a grandparent.

Overall, dads today are much more involved in raising their children.  I’m impressed with what I see in my son and son-in-laws.  They are all “hands-on” dads and yes, change diapers, give a bottle, give baths, and are active in most aspects of their kids’ lives  These dads seem to be much more verbal and expressive with their emotions compared to previous generations.   I hear them saying, “I love you,” “I’m proud of you,” on a regular basis. 

The men in our lives all have one thing in common no matter what generation.  They have all loved their children unconditionally and have made a difference in their children’s lives.  Thank you to my dad who is watching from above, my wonderful husband and father of our children, and to my son and son-in-laws.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!  

Click on the link below for a special tribute to dad!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALrJ17qKpHg