Happy Father's Day!!

Celebrating the dads in our lives is officially designated as the third Sunday in June.  As I think about my own dad, it’s apparent that the role of dad has evolved taking on many different “looks” today versus when I was growing up.  My personal experience at age 62 and the oldest of four siblings, was different than my youngest sister who was nine years younger.  My dad was at the beginning of his career as a lawyer and trying to establish himself.  In the 50’s, there were the stereotypical roles of dad as the “bread winner” and mom as the stay-at-home mom.  The regular family hour TV shows were ones like: Father Knows Best, Leave it to Beaver, Ozzie and Harriet, etc.  First of all, every show was with married couples, all white ethnicity, dad was the one who went off to work in the morning, he was the disciplinarian, mom cleaned in a dress and heels, and cooked meals which were always ready when Dad got home. My family was fairly typical although my mom didn’t wear the dress and heels.  J As a female growing up in that generation, the message was that the men took care of the women especially when it came to cars and finances. It was subtle yet definitely there and made life “interesting” when it came to being on my own. I knew my dad loved me more through his actions as he was not one to openly show his feelings.  Being more demonstrative with his feelings came in his later years which, I think, was typical of many fathers in that era.

The Today Show had a powerful two week series about dads.  Dads who were single parents, stay-at-home dads, the “traditional” dad who works a regular job, a dad who had recently lost his spouse and mother of their children now filling both roles, dads who themselves didn’t know their father or dads who lived with a father who had an addiction and dads from all ethnic backgrounds.  We often talk about the mothers who are single moms, stay-at-home moms, etc. etc., but how often do we think about those same situations with our dads?  A recurring complaint from the dads interviewed as well as the male anchors on the Today Show, was when they’re with their children, they’re asked if they’re babysitting.  Really?  What is the message about the role we think our dads play in the lives of our children?  There continue to be, in my opinion, mixed messages about the role of our dads and the impact they have in our children’s lives.

In 1980, Jon became a dad for the first time and then again in 1982.  At the ages of 35 and 38, he was in a different place in his career and in his life.  One thing was definitely true…he was not comfortable with babies and forget if changing diapers was involved.  The first time I left the house for a short time and he was taking care of Jason, I came home only to find that Jason looked like he’d been tarred and feathered.  Baby powder was poofing out of his diaper, and with further investigation, he was lathered in A&D ointment. When the truth came out, Jon had called a friend over to change the diaper!!  Yes, really!  But once those little ones start to move around more, smile, and are developing a personality, Jon is now in his comfort zone.  He has been an incredibly supportive, encouraging, teaching, sharing, and involved type of dad.  He coached baseball and basketball, sheered sheep, clipped cows, hauled animals to fairs, went to every possible event possible, was there for parent-teacher conferences, and was home for dinner.  The kids were a top priority.  He always said we only had them for 18 years and that that time would fly by - as it did.  What’s interesting, yet not surprising, is our “kids” continue to call their dad for advice, suggestions, feedback, and just to share what’s happening in their lives.  Now with grandchildren, being involved in their lives is a key priority as a grandparent.

Overall, dads today are much more involved in raising their children.  I’m impressed with what I see in my son and son-in-laws.  They are all “hands-on” dads and yes, change diapers, give a bottle, give baths, and are active in most aspects of their kids’ lives  These dads seem to be much more verbal and expressive with their emotions compared to previous generations.   I hear them saying, “I love you,” “I’m proud of you,” on a regular basis. 

The men in our lives all have one thing in common no matter what generation.  They have all loved their children unconditionally and have made a difference in their children’s lives.  Thank you to my dad who is watching from above, my wonderful husband and father of our children, and to my son and son-in-laws.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!  

Click on the link below for a special tribute to dad!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALrJ17qKpHg