What's YOUR Story

Before starting this week’s blog, I want to send out prayers to all the first responders; the medical profession, those families who have lost loved ones in this horrific human tragedy, and those who are recovering. I also send prayers to the people who survived having lived through a horrible, life changing experience, and prayers for the city of Vegas as they push forward to recover together.

Some of the comments and/or tweets being made by the media, a teacher, and even a high ranking CBS executive are beyond reprehensible. What? 59 AMERICANS were murdered with 512+ AMERICANS injured. 

I am more and more fearful of the divisiveness this country has moved toward. The pure HATE for this President, the justification for violence when someone's opinion is different, the lack of balanced coverage with the media, students needing safe spaces, and the drive to separate us the exact situation Martin L. King fought against.

Through my blogs, I have tried to focus on each of us being in control of our lives and to have a grateful spirit. I continue to advocate for EACH of us, personally, to learn and grow to better ourselves in all areas of our lives. I do not pretend to have all the answers, I want people to question, to research using a variety of sources, and to not blindly accept what they hear and read as fact. 

Last week, I wished you a week of reflecting on who you are associating with, and therefore who is also influencing you? Did you take the time to reflect on whether your words and actions are truly coming from your heart OR are they because you are wanting control, acceptance, or both? What did you learn?

There are many issues facing our country today that should be up for debate and discussions. Unfortunately, our free speech; which I will address in a couple weeks, is under attack as well. There seem to be more "tweet wars" and "attacks" on Facebook any time a different perspective is given. 

I fear there is a deeper and even more devastating cause for where we are today. We have a younger generation, who live each day without hope or purpose. They have not been brought up with the American Dream mentality. They have not been brought up learning what this great country has done for so many generations and why this country is like no other country in the world, and they have no sense of purpose. 

Two books; The iY Generation, and Start with Why, along with a session from the Defending America series have all contributed to the next two week’s topics of my blog. Because I have spent a great deal of time reflecting on this; and I am sharing my personal thoughts, I will be breaking this blog segment into two parts.

Most of you are aware I enjoy reading and growing on a personal level. That has not always been the case. When I was younger, I was not exposed to the personal development books primarily because they were not as plentiful as they are now. I only had my own opinions based on my experiences and the family and friends around me. I didn’t understand why I often felt different about topics or situations, as I had little to compare things to, and I was not comfortable with who I was as a person. Therefore, yes, I did succumb to wanting to be accepted and usually kept my mouth shut.

Early in my teaching career, my reading material was either fictional books we used in the classroom or materials to enhance my teaching techniques. There was little, if any, personal development focus. When looking back on my career and when I began reading personal development books, I became more aware of why some of the teaching teams I was on were more effective than others. The successful team teaching situations were with people where we shared the same goals and objectives, we could disagree on how we were going to reach our goals but NEVER on WHY we were doing what we were doing. We honored each other for our individual skills and talents, and we were never competing for who was “the best” – it wasn’t about us it was ALL about the students.  I woke up each morning with a purpose and an excitement. The challenges and road blocks were there, yet my driving focus of WHY I was teaching was always there.

That sense of purpose each day was and is critical for ALL people. I will touch more on that later.

It was later in my career when Jon and I were exposed to network marketing which had a strong component of personal development. We started reading books and listening to tapes (yes, cassette tapes) as we drove into work. We both found we were learning how to deal with situations with all communities in our sphere of work in a very different way. In addition, we were also learning how to be a better individual, a better marriage partner, a better parent. We were learning that our physical, emotional, financial, and spiritual health were all important.

According to Simon Sinek in his book Start with Why, “there are two ways to influence human behavior; you can manipulate it or you can inspire it.” Most often, we don’t know what we don’t know, and it isn’t until we search out information that we can begin to develop who we are, what we stand for, and what we believe is God’s path for us. That doesn’t happen unless we understand WHY we do what we do. WHY is a belief system. HOW will guide our actions to realize the belief, and WHAT is the results of our actions. “If the focus is more on WHAT at the expense of WHY, our ability to thrive and inspire is dubious.”

I spent the first half of this blog, outlining my own journey of learning and growing as a human being. My point is that we don’t learn and grow in isolation, we don’t learn and grow without being challenged on WHY we think the way we do, we don’t learn and grow if we don’t have a purpose in our life, and we definitely are not willing to learn and grow if we blame, complain, and defend our actions pointing the finger at everyone else rather than how we contributed to the situation. That’s called owning up to our words, actions, and choices – ACCOUNTABILITY.

Before I go on, I want to be clear that I look with respect and admiration at my young grandchildren; my nieces and nephews, their teenage children, the young people on our team who are building a business to better themselves. They are THE best when it comes to respect, they have strong work ethics, they have different opinions on topics yet can have a conversation with those who are different, and they are welcoming to people from different backgrounds. I go to personal development seminars and there’s only a common bond of wanting personal financial freedom and learning to be their best as a human being – there is no color, religious, or sexual orientation labeling!

On the other hand, I am disappointed to observe a segment of our young people with an entitlement attitude whose personal beliefs seem absent and are just regurgitating what they hear from the group think of their friends. The book iY Generation explains the effect of video games, being given everything without a clear sense of purpose, and with no true guidelines for success when they grew up with the participation medal mentality versus an actual first, second, third etc. placement. We taught this generation that everyone needs to feel special all the time which ultimately made no one feel special. Failure has been looked upon as a negative versus a learning tool. Our young people have been disabled by not being exposed to differing viewpoints and have seldom been allowed the opportunity to learn how to debate and question. It’s difficult to have a discussion by texting.

Now our liberal colleges are deciding which speakers the students should hear and even setting up “safe spaces” with coloring books etc. if the students’ feelings are hurt by differing viewpoints. The “safe spaces” and therapy sessions were set up for those unable to handle the outcome of the Presidential election.  Even worse, violence is the only action with groups such as Antifa. They believe that because they disagree with a differing viewpoint it’s their right to commit violence. Lectures on campus, town hall meetings, peaceful demonstrations have all been hijacked by those whose tactic is to shout down someone else’s right to speak and commit violence against someone that would have the audacity to voice something which they disagree. 

In the minds of Antifa, it’s justified to physically attack a person, physically damage buildings, businesses, set fires or exclude a certain group. Unfortunately, these are also the young people who have little understanding of a work ethic, are still living at home because they haven’t found the perfect job they think they deserve, drugs are often involved, these young people have no idea of "self" and what they stand for. 

I keep hearing from teachers, coaches, business people about an entitlement attitude and lack of any type of work ethic. Think about how you grew up. Did you have a job? How young were you with your first job? Were you responsible for paying for some of your activities such as going to the movies, bowling, or putting gas in the car? My guess is the natural consequence was that if you didn’t have the money you weren't able to do something or buy something. Did you work through college and/or did you pursue getting scholarships and grants to reduce the cost? In your job were you expected to arrive on time and were you expected to complete some menial tasks such as cleaning up? Were you expected to come dressed in a clean, kept manner etc? Did you ever have to interview for a job and were there others also interviewing for that same position? Did you ever play a sport and someone else was competing for that same position?

My point is that having work experience teaches you about the world and life which includes; doing whatever it takes to get a job done despite your “title,” it means following certain expectations of your boss, it means showing up on time, it means you need to learn to work with a team of people that may be different than you. It leads to a sense of focus that everything you are learning is all about becoming a positive contributor to your own life, the life of your family and those around you. YOU can be in control of your future. When people are working they gain a sense of self, a sense of purpose, and a sense of pride and value to what it is they’re doing.

I wish you a week to revisit the last few weeks of blogs and examine your personal development habits etc. I also wish you this next week to look back and examine your personal work history story. What were your jobs and what life lessons did you learn from each situation?

iY Generation - Part 3

I hope you had a week of reflection on how you could continue to be a positive influencer or how you could strengthen your position as a mentor, coach, teacher, parent etc. of this iY generation.

Tim Elmore continues throughout his book to discuss the special challenges of iY boys especially as they are the ones who play so many more video games than girls - a MUST READ chapter plus much more.

Parenting, has it changed over the years? Of course, however, not always for the better. Our intentions are good, we mean well, and we want the best for our children. The problem is many times we have disabled them from actually maturing into adulthood. We’ve actually helped and protected them too much! Some of this is because the world has changed. In the 1980’s, dangers to children reached a new high – divorce, violent crime, alcohol and drug consumption, as well as concerns from “venetian blinds to peanut butter.”

In 1999, the Columbine High School massacre was replayed over and over again on TV. I remember being in my 5^th grade classroom when we heard the news. As adults, we were all scared and my students were wondering what was happening. As a staff, we had many conversations as to what we needed to do to keep our students safe and what to say to our parents.

 

There are many “reasons” why parents threw themselves into protect mode. Unfortunately, the results were children who weren’t allowed the privilege of learning to fail and persevere. “Helicopter” parents found it difficult to allow their children to develop the strength for life’s hardships. Other parents attempted to be their child’s best friend or buddy. Boundaries and any type of discipline were not there. I remember telling many parents that it was NOT their job to be their child’s best friend. They were the parent. They were the ones who set the boundaries. As a teacher and parent of grown children, I was able to explain that if they did their job as a parent their children would be their best friend when they became adults.

Elmore continues about the dangers of disabling a generation due to our “muddying the waters.”  Because of many of the messages we have sent our children, “too many are reaching adulthood emotionally unstable and socially naïve.” Yes, we definitely want our children to be self-confident, BUT based on true reality – NOT what we see on the “reality” TV shows. Read pages 113-122 for more specifics.

There is an entire section in the book which relates the various lies we have told our children. I want to elaborate on one of my pet peeves and that is Lie #6 You’re a Winner Just Because You Participated. I remember many years ago being a lone voice at my elementary school as our track and field went to everyone getting ribbons for everything, no individual times for the mile run, no comparisons of how well they did individually to beat their own time, etc. etc. Only recently have I seen a few commercials where the dad takes off the Participation label after his son’s team won the championship game, and he wrote Champions. 

Though Bria’s t-ball team doesn’t keep score, she is the first one to say they won. When asked why, she identifies that they had more kids out at first base then the other team. Hmm..she’s 6 ½. She knows.

Maybe the “everyone is a winner” phase is ok to use when they are young but even a 1^st grader knows what the score is despite not keeping score. She also is well aware there are several of the kids on the team who are better than others, and she also knows her own skills have gotten better. Kids are not stupid whether it’s in sports, playing an instrument, in the classroom etc. What motivation do kids have if they only participate? The “less accomplished kids have little reason to strive to be better, and the more talented kids have little motivation to improve.”

My sister told me of a situation with her 10 year old grandson. They were playing basketball. In the game, if one team got up by 10 points, they were not allowed to have any further scoring count until the other team caught up. WHAT? REALLY? Now where in the real world is that ever going to be the case? With the “everybody wins lie” our children are not prepared for the real world, and truly in those situations nobody really wins. What is there to strive for, what is there to feel genuinely proud of?

It is a rude awakening to these young people when they get into the classrooms where everyone is competing for the same scholarships and not everyone will get one? What happens to those athletes who want to play on the collegiate level who have been stand outs on their high school team, but with the competition more intense they aren’t standing out as before. They don’t understand why they aren’t getting more playing time. The attitude of, “If I can’t be the top dog, then I won’t play” so they quit. Add to the fact that it’s often times a parent calling the coach and complaining that their child isn’t getting more playing time – not the athlete. NOT!

Dr Chris Thurman has said, “The number one cause of our unhappiness are the lies we believe in life.” Tim Elmore continues, “Growing up requires facing the truth and embracing the reality, and this is an important challenge for Generation iY kids and the adults who are leading them. But the good news is that living the truth makes us happier, healthier, and more productive human beings. Truthful relationships are more stable. A truthful approach to problem solving gets to the root of the problem more effectively. A commitment to truth makes all of life simpler and more fulfilling.”

“Unless we raise the standard for kids today and help them to think and act like authentic leaders, they won’t be ready for the responsibility thrust on them as they enter young adulthood.” That means WE have to change. Adult coaches, parents, grandparents, employers, teachers, counselors, and religious leaders must be the ones to take on the challenge of preparing them.

According to Tim Elmore, and I would agree especially after reading this book, there are “five decisions to help Generation iY find their way:

1.    Values: These come first, because they’re the moral compass.

2.    Vision: This usually comes next because it’s your blueprint for life.

3.    Virtues: This is next since it reveals your best tool to influence and serve.

4.    Venue: This follows because now you’re ready to find a suitable context.

5.    Vehicle: Finally, you can choose the actions necessary to reach the goal.”

I will leave you with the following list of suggestions from Tim’s book that we ALL can do as we work with our young people. They have enormous potential to build a positive future for themselves if all the adults in their life can help them leverage their influence and take their place as leaders.

1.    Let them be different from previous generations.

2.    Work with them to develop strong personal values.

3.    Help them learn to make and keep short-term commitments.

4.    Work with them to simplify their lives and deal with stress.

5.    Communicate that there is meaning even in the small, mundane tasks.

6.    Help them to focus.

7.    Work with them to appreciate strengths in others.

8.    Create opportunities for face-to-face interaction so they can learn to interact in the nonvirtual world (other than school).

9.    Provide opportunities for kids to participate in a cause that’s bigger than they are.

1.  Enable them to take control of their lives, to be the boss of their calendar.

1.  Resource them with your network.

1.  Challenge them to take their place in history.

As I said when I first began these blogs three weeks ago, I have found this book to be enlightening, candid, sometimes depressing, and yet hopeful as there are things we can do. If you still haven’t bought the book or listened to it on audio, I encourage you to do so.

I wish you a week of reflection in all that this country offers to each and every one of us no matter age, gender, ethnicity, religious affiliation or sexual preference. We DO have a say in our lives in this country, and we CAN make a difference in not only our own lives but in the lives of those around us.

iY Generation - Part 2

Did you take time to watch and observe the young people in your life? What characteristics were you able to identify?  Who has purchased the book and started reading? It will definitely get you thinking and sharing the concepts with others.

Change happens so quickly. How many times have you experienced learning something new and then realizing that you were already behind. If you own a cell phone, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

The list below was what was going on in 2010 when Elmore published this book. It’s quite apparent that this list has already changed:

*music delivery went from CDs to iTUnes and MP3s

*primary communication went from cell phone calls to text messaging and now snapchat

*social networking went from email to MySpace, Facebook, Twitter and now Instagram

*Entertainment preferences went from watching TV to streaming videos on YouTube, Hulu and a lot of other sites

*Personal data went from blogs to Twitter etc

This week I want to focus on more specific characteristics of the iY generation and what may be contributing to the difference from those born in the 80’s.  “The younger members of Generation Y (born in 1990 and beyond) look different than the older ones. Earlier the kids were submissive, but today’s kids are more likely to be mavericks. They tend to be lethargic rather than active, and self-absorbed rather than engaged.”

Why the shift? Elmore suggests a few reasons which are dealt with in more depth in the book. One, reason is the “years of affluence and social liberation in America during the 1990’s. The second is the damaging parenting styles that prevent kids from preparing for the real world. All in the name of love and support but hasn’t prepared kids to be adults. Three, the media and technology show an unrealistic view of adult responsibility. Four, formal education prepares students for more school versus the marketplace. Five, we have a culture that values convenience more than commitment.”

You may or may not agree with the above list or even why this generation is in trouble and how we can help. That’s ok. My point is to at least bring up the fact that our iY generation is having difficulty in today’s world. Putting your opinion aside for the moment, I only ask you to remain open to new thoughts and maybe a few ah ha moments. Being a Baby Boomer myself, we also had our struggles, high and low points, and yes, our parents were worried about us as well. The difference? We did not have the high level social media world to contend with. If we wanted to talk with our friends, we called on the phone. Breaking up was face-to-face rather than texting. The internet has changed all that.

“One reason students are less empathetic may be that people are having fewer face-to-face interactions communicating and instead use social media such as Facebook and Twitter.” There wasn’t the cyber bullying where someone can remain anonymous. “Sexuality and pornography has been taken to a new level. The 13 billion dollar porn industry now has a new promoter: cell phones. Sexting, not texting, became the rage in 2008. 44% of high school boys have seen a porn photo of a classmate on their cells.” Heads up to all parents! Not only is this a huge problem and far more prevalent than most of us would like to think, but we also have young people involved with things their minds are not able to handle.

According to Elmore, this is like a Dr. Jekyll and Hyde population – a generation of paradox. He states a few of these:

Paradox #: they are sheltered yet pressured. “They are both growing up faster (in some senses), and growing up slower in others. Is it the high tech world that’s speeding up life’s exposure actually slowing down their maturation?”

Paradox#2: They are self-absorbed yet generous. “Typically, iYers have been raised to be consumers, and may have not matured to become contributors. By overemphasizing self-esteem and underestimating qualities like unselfishness and responsibility, adults have made it easy for these kids to be consumed with self.”

Paradox#3: They are social yet isolated by technology. “This very social generation is in danger of becoming one of the most isolated generations because so much of their relational contact comes via technology. Generation iY loves using technology to communicate, but they also enjoy the isolation and control that technology gives them.”

Paradox #4: They are ambitious yet anxious. iY’ers demonstrate far more ambition than Generation X did at their age. Thousands of them have created their own companies before they graduate from college eg. Mark Zuckerberg the founder of Facebook. Why the confidence? Growing up they’ve been told that they’re winners and told over and over again that they can do it. Their high level anxiety, especially about their future, comes from the weight of the previous generation’s expectations which can paralyze them, and they fear they may not measure up. Their current world is full of support and encouragement, but that might not be true for them as adults – their bosses will likely not be clapping for them every week on the job.”

Paradox #5: They are adventuresome yet protected. “All too often, in fact, these kids have been rewarded just for coming up with ideas. Much of their time is spent in a protected, failure-proof environment in which they’re never given a chance to lose.” Elmore believes, and I would agree, that this sense of entitlement is our fault. We have shielded them from disappointment and didn’t say “no” about most things. Remember when we switched over to participation ribbons, medals etc.? We were afraid to give out those first, second, and third place designations for fear someone would feel bad.

Paradox #6: They are diverse yet harmonious. They’ve been taught to love each other and work in teams. “Many wore uniforms in school, and they’ve been taught tolerance for people who are different from them. They often date in groups and tend to be a harmonious generation much more than those of us who are Baby Boomer and Gen X parents. The problem is they tend to be connected mostly with each other. They typically spend over 50% of their day with peers and only 15 percent with adults, including parents. The result is many don’t learn how to interact with folks from a different generation.  How can you preview and prepare for grown-up life when you keep modeling yourself after other kids?”

Paradox #7: They are visionary yet vacillating.  “This generation is exposed to so many possibilities; they often have trouble settling on one for very long. They tend to hop from vision to vision and may never stay long enough to make a difference.”

Paradox 8: They are high achievement yet high maintenance. Though this is a confident, optimistic generation and as a whole are achievement-oriented, when they don’t receive the extra attention, or things don’t come easily, they give up. The exposure to large amounts of data, through technology, has sped up their cognitive growth. “They know a lot early, therefore, they seem so advanced. However, they are ill prepared for the real world of people, responsibility, conflict resolution, listening, and waiting. It’s easy to mistake one dimensional maturity for fully developed maturity.”

There is a great deal of information this week, so I will end here and give you an opportunity to think, rethink, ask yourself questions, and come to your own conclusion as to how you can use this information. Some of you will be able to high five yourself as you are already aware of many of these points and have been teaching your own children, your students, your athletes, your employees etc. in a way to support and mentor them to become responsible adults in the world today. Others will realize this information is coming at a good time in your life and you are capable of changing your actions with the young people you encounter.

Once again, as a qualifier, my blogs are only a short synopsis of parts of the book Generation iY Our Last Chance to Save Their Future by Tim Elmore. I encourage you to purchase this book so you can get the information in its entirety. 

Where ever you are in your world, I wish you a week of reflection on how you can continue to be a positive influencer or how you can strengthen your position as a mentor, coach, teacher, parent etc. of this iY generation. I always look forward to your thoughts and comments.

iY Generation - Part1

I hope you had many opportunities this past week to build people up. There has been so much hurt and sadness that even a smile may make a difference in someone’s life.

Are you a parent, a coach, a teacher, a grandparent, a pastor, an employer, an employee? Are you involved with a religious organization, some type of organization such as Rotary, a book club, or a group that meets around a hobby such as scrap booking?  My guess is you could answer yes to several of these descriptions.

I am not usually adamant about reading a particular book that is until now. Jon will be the first to tell you, I am telling everyone I meet about this one. It’s called The iY Generation Our Last Chance to Save Their Future by Tim Elmore. It’s a MUST read and a MUST read NOW!

I hope to spend a few weeks on this topic of the iY generation so order the book and start reading NOW. In the forward, Dan Cathy, President and COO of Chick-fil-A, refers to this book as a “wake up call as there is a serious challenge facing this generation.  “This emerging generation literally is the future of America. Yet they are uneasy about the future. They are juggling too many balls and are being ambushed by adulthood. The pressure is intense, and the stakes are high.” 

The author, Tim Elmore, states, “I have worked with young people for more than 30 years as an educator, a parent, a mentor and an employer. Until recently, I have remained quite optimistic about their future. But these days I’m feeling something different. I am frightened about what the world may look like in years to come and angry at how we have failed the generation who will be running the world. They are your kids. They are your neighbor’s kids. They are your students. They are your athletes. They are your young employees. They are your future. Our future. They are Generation iY. And I believe they’re in trouble.”

So we have an understanding of this group of young people, Generation Y, or the Millennials, is generally defined as those born from 1980 – 2002. I have designated those born in the 1980’s as a separate group than those born in the 1990’s. It’s the 1990’s group that I designate as the iY generation. There are many similarities between these two groups, however, “in volumes of other ways they stand in stark contrast to them. Why this title? It’s because of the tangible impact of the “I” world (the Internet) on their lives. This population has literally grown up online. Theirs is the world of the iPod, iBook, iChat, iMovie, iPad, and iTunes.

Jason and his wife Michelle who both are head coaches, college football and high school basketball respectively, were the ones to introduce me to this book. It was their frustration with athletes today that motivated them to hear a speaker at a conference discussing the characteristics of this age group and how coaching must change. The book will not only give an explanation of why this age group is the way they are but then solutions. This is NOT just a book for coaches although I would argue that we are all coaches. It’s for all of us as this generation will impact our lives as leaders.

This week’s blog will be a brief outline or “portrait” of this generation. Each week will follow more information and then solutions of what we can all do to contribute to this generation’s success. In no way will my blogs take the place of you reading the entire book for yourself, however.

According to Tim Elmore, his research reveals four words that describe the reality of Generation iY:

First, they are An Overwhelmed Generation.  Their stress comes from both internal and external sources, and stress can also stem from a lack of healthy pressure growing up. “Children who lived with undue comfort through high school may face a shock when they enter college and face demands that are a little closer to adult life.” Another source of stress can also come from within. “They want to be the best. And from the time they’re small, they’ve been told they are the best – they are special, they have unlimited potential.” Trying to live up to these expectations definitely adds to their stress.

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Second, they are An Overconnected Generation. They can get lost in a virtual world of online fantasy video games or a social world of texting, Facebook, and Twitter. “It’s a coping mechanism. They survive by escaping reality and becoming someone else.” Instead of spending time as they are growing up to develop of sense of who they are as an individual and developing their values to live by, they are constantly on Twitter with their friends. They are continuously plugged in so the question begs when will they unplug and discover their own identity? These young people have “miserable relationship skills and low emotional intelligence. Because so much of their life is connected by technology, young people can fail to develop face-to-face people skills. They are short on patience, listening skills, and conflict resolution.”

Third, they are An Overprotected Generation. This generation has grown up with safety seats, safety belts, helmets when biking, skiing etc. They’ve been discouraged from going places on their own, they’ve been shielded from financial realities, and they’ve spent a great deal of time inside, in front of a screen. America has become obsessed with protecting children at all costs, and this generation has suffered from that obsession.” I don’t think that Tim is saying these safety features are all bad; however, it’s in conjunction with all of these other areas that adds to the difficulties for these young people. Tim asks the question, “Will our overemphasis on safety and security produce a generation of kids who simply don’t know how to find their way in the world?”

Fourth, they are An Overserved Generation. “We live in the age of the ‘wanted child.’ That’s not a bad thing in itself. The problem comes when we give our young people an overinflated idea of their own importance. According to a nationwide high school survey, more than eight out of ten believe they are very important people. They feel entitled to special treatment as they enter the adult world.” If you remember back to the 80’s, parents, teachers, and society in general wanted to increase children’s self-esteem. In and of itself, that’s not a bad thing. However, we took it to an extreme and decided that children should always feel good about themselves. Participation medals/ribbons for everyone. (More on that in a later blog.) In addition, as parents we are guilty of serving our children rather than teaching and challenging them. This involves all areas of life from simple things such as doing one’s own laundry to how to handle money.

The upside of this generation is that they really do want to change the world; they “just don’t have what it takes to accomplish their lofty dreams. When the work becomes difficult, they change their minds and move on to something else. There’s a contrast of being a slacker and an activist. Because of this, for most of them, their involvement in a cause is to buy a wrist band.”

If you have found yourself thinking that these descriptions are sounding familiar as you parent, coach, or employ young people then you are not the only one shaking your head and having difficulty understanding them. You are also probably having a difficult time figuring out what will work to motivate them and how to challenge them to commit to anything long term. The good news is there is a reason and there are solutions.

I wish you a week of reflection as you watch and observe the young people in your life. I also urge you to buy this book, begin reading, and then send me your thoughts and comments.