Brick by Brick

Last week I wished you a week of getting started on reading a book of your choice to take your personal development to another level. Which book did you choose? I just finished Killing JFK by Bill O’Reilly. This series is nonfiction and written in such a way that it parallels the lives of JFK and Lee Harvey Oswald. Fascinating!

Have you ever started a business from the ground up? Have you ever had a dream that you pursued? This past weekend, Jon and I watched the celebration of 17 seniors on Missouri Baptist University football team as it was their last home game. 10 of those seniors were with the program for the past four years. There was only one young man there from the very beginning five years ago.

Bringing a football program to MBU began as a dream by President Alton Lacey and became a reality in March of 2013. Jason was named as the very first head coach. There was nothing other than the field at a neighboring high school for practice and future games. There were no facilities, no assistant coaches, no trainers, no players, no equipment, no storage for the equipment, no offense or defense…NOTHING!

Assistant coaches were approached with a dream and the challenge of starting a program from the ground up. Brick by brick. Players and parents were approached with a dream, a vision, being a part of something special. It was the passion and the vision of what was coming.

Equipment was stored in a small storage area, cubbies were bought from Home Depot, and practice times had to be early in the morning when the high school wasn’t using the field. Brick by brick. Plans were starting to be put together for a brand-new facility, trees were being cleared, some players left, new ones came on board. Brick by brick.

Fast forward to the fourth season of officially playing football. There’s a facility with locker rooms, coaches’ offices, meeting rooms, and a field that is for practice. Yet to come will be the final additions needed to make the practice field their official playing field for their games. Brick by brick. Accept the Challenge.

What was it that kept the young first-time head coach recruiting better talent, talking to parents, crafting his dream, communicating that vision to everyone from players to parents, to assistant coaches, to the professors, to the administrators, to sponsors and basically anyone that would listen? Why did he continually reach out to others for advice, read books on coaching, and adjust as the program began to develop?

First, true leaders are willing to learn, grow, and change. John Maxwell continually talks about true leaders surrounding themselves with the very best. They’re not intimidated by others with more experience or those who are going to add something new and different. Jason did that and continues to do that.

Second, there has been his deep seeded desire to create a program of integrity, one with a strong foundation of quality football, quality coaching, and quality players. The goal is to not only develop a strong football program with great athletes, but even more important the goal is to develop young men for life.

What was it that 10 players stayed on for four years despite not winning a lot of games? They shared their thoughts during a 45-minute Periscope session. First and foremost, they bought into the vision that Coach B was “selling.” They bought into the importance of building a strong foundation from the very beginning. They understood the importance of learning, growing, studying the game, their position, and pushing through the doubts. They talked about the integrity of the coaches and how much they were learning not only about football but about life as a man. They are not quitters, they developed incredible friendships for a lifetime, they will graduate with a degree, and they bought into building brick by brick. They continually ACCEPT the Challenge. They were proud they were there celebrating their accomplishments, as seniors, knowing their blood, sweat, and hard work has brought the program to another level. Brick by brick. Accept the Challenge!

I share this because we seldom have a chance to build from the ground up and create something that begins as only a vision. Yet, in listening to these seniors, I realized how very special this group has been all along and how unique of a situation they have been in over the past four years. Parents have been there encouraging their sons because they also believed in what Coach B was creating, and how he was making a difference in their son’s life.

There were far more players who left the program. Why? Some weren’t getting the playing time they thought they should have. Some didn’t realize it was much harder on the college level and they weren’t willing to put in the time necessary. Some didn’t do well in the classroom and the list goes on. “Strong minds suffer without complaining; weak minds complain without suffering.”

These 10 young men had challenges as is true on any journey. What they did have and what they held on to is a head coach who believed in them, challenged them, wouldn’t let them settle for just being average, and they knew they were on a journey of a lifetime. Forever, their picture and their accomplishments will be a part of the record books.

Vision – Know your WHY - Patience – Attention to detail – Ups and Downs – Focus – One step at a time – Pushing through – NEVER give up – Celebrate the accomplishments – NEVER settle – 100% commitment – Have fun!

Integrity – Honesty – Respect the process – Learn – Grow – Adjust – NEVER lose sight of the goal – TEAM – Relationships!

Life is a journey. Jason, his staff of coaches, the players, the professors, the Learning Center support staff, and so many others are all a part of making this dream of having MBU football become a reality. This is only the fourth season building a team and creating a legacy for all those who will play in the future.

The 10 seniors are young men who will graduate with a degree and move on with their lives full of memories. They will take all they experienced with them and have a bond of friendship and connection to Missouri Baptist football for the rest of their lives.

“Success is the result of perfection, hard work, learning from failure, loyalty, and persistence.”

Colin Powell

I wish you a week to examine something you’ve done in your life and what lessons you learned from that experience.

 

READING is KEY

Last week I wished you a week of reflection around your own work history and experiences. As always, I enjoy hearing your thoughts.

One of my very favorite books is Twelve Pillars by Jim Rohn and Chris Widener. In the preface, Jim Rohn writes, “The lessons of life and leadership are timeless truths rather than vogue content. I believe there are core principles of success, universal and timeless truths that men and women of every generation can apply to their lives that will help them succeed in every area of their lives.”

I’m constantly talking about our need to continually learn and grow in order to live life to the fullest. As with the past few blogs there’s the need to know WHY we do what we do, and there’s the need to continually WORK to make our dreams and goals come to fruition. 12 Pillars is one more reminder that reading can be life-changing.

Self-development books can give a vision of who you can be, what you can become, a life you can design and dreams you can accomplish. We don’t know what we don’t know, yet reading is a window which can open your world to accomplish anything you set your mind to.

We’ve all heard the quote, “The only way things are going to change is if YOU change.” That’s scary for most people. We are very comfortable in our “box.” It’s scary to live outside that “box” yet that is where true growth and development happens. The easy way out is to blame or complain or defend our actions or lack of actions on someone else, our environment or our boss/coach/teacher/spouse. (“Below the Line” behavior according to Urban Meyer.) The “above the line” action is to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions.

“You can’t change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight. You are where you are in your life, but you don’t have to stay there.” We each need to be able to say we’re the one designing our life plan. Otherwise we end up falling into someone else’s plan. (Last week’s blog referred to the negative effects welfare has on our young people and their lack of being in control of their own life plan.)

We know we need to surround ourselves with the best people. These are winners, successful people who exhibit the values and skills we want to acquire and develop, and those people who inspire us to be our very best. We should be looking for relationships with other successful people who will push us, challenge us, and encourage us to be our best. As Jim Rohn says, “Attitude is greatly shaped by influence and association.”

One thing in common with successful people are those who are working hard on being the best they can be. These are people who are lifelong learners. “Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune. Learning is the beginning of wealth. Learning is the beginning of health. Learning is the beginning of spirituality.”

My question to you is, “How much are you reading? What new books have you added to your reading list this past year? How much are you listening to audios that bring you new information to make you stronger in a particular area of your life?” Have you taken classes or attended seminars?

My January blog suggested setting up monthly goals for 2017 to be different than 2016. We are now almost finished with 10 months of 2017, and we’re heading into the holidays. How would you “rate” yourself in the area of learning and growing this year? What’s different? Anything?

It’s easy to say we don’t have time to read or “I’m not a reader.” Once again that’s what 95% of people say as their excuse why they can’t change. My challenge to you is to find a way to read one book in the next four weeks. That might mean listening to a book on tape as you travel to and from work. That might mean setting a goal of how many pages you will read each day. Take the total number of pages in the book and divide it by 30 days to know what that number will be. Choose a book in the area you feel you need the most help with in your personal development journey.

If you’re really serious about Being the Best YOU that YOU can be, reading will become a habit and a part of your growth.

If you take the challenge to read a book in the next four weeks, make it even stronger that you will be successful by sharing your goal with someone. When we voice our goal to someone else who will hold us accountable, we are far more likely to accomplish that goal.

I wish you a week of getting started on your book and taking your personal development to another level.  

W.O.R.K. is not a Four Letter Word

Last week I wished you a week to revisit the last few weeks of blogs and examine your personal development habits etc. I also wished you a time to look back and examine your personal work history. What were your jobs and what life lessons did you learn from each situation?

The third lesson in Defending America relates to the topic of work which I wrote about last week. As with all my blogs, these are my thoughts and opinions. Lesson Three is titled, “Defending Work as the Basis of Freedom and Opportunity from the Dependency, Welfare, and Bureaucratic State of Tyranny of the Left.”

I found this lesson to be enlightening. I will be quoting many of the statements from this series which is led by Newt Gingrich. I ask that you read, reflect, question, and come up with your own opinion. (I would recommend this entire series on six different topics as it’s historically based.)

“The Left is replacing the distinctly American ethos of individual initiative and opportunity with a growing culture of dependency and welfare – to a devastating effect as seen in poverty rates, shockingly low workforce participation rates, the opioid crisis, and other measures alongside the dramatic growth of the welfare state.”

“Hard work, individual initiative and opportunity have always been critical to the American system and linked to our free market principles…” We believe in the American Dream, nothing is impossible if we put in our own hard work. We believe in the fact anyone from any walk of life CAN create a successful life for themselves and their family.

There are others who will tell you that you’re limited because of your race, the fact you’re female, or you’re from the “wrong side of the tracks.” Have you paid attention to people like Dr. Ben Carson who grew up in a single parent family, low income, yet had his mother’s voice of encouragement pushing him to be his very best, and she instilled the belief that he could accomplish anything he wanted?

The number of “overcoming the odds” type stories are too numerous to mention.

One common denominator in who becomes successful and who doesn’t appears to come from the individual’s willingness to do whatever it takes to reach his/her goals. That meant a strong work ethic, a never quit attitude, it was not listening to people who were toxic and naysayers, that meant being willing to do whatever to get to the next level as long as it was legal, moral, and ethical.

What’s your work history? What have you done to gain experience and create your own financial independence?

Henry Ford stated, “Work is the salvation of the human race, morally, physically, socially.” Ben Franklin advised immigrants: “People do not inquire concerning a Stranger, What is he? But, What can he DO?”

Why is it then that we seem to be having such a difficult time getting people to work? It doesn’t matter whether I’m in St. Louis, or Ulysses, KS, or anywhere in Boulder or Longmont, I see signs of businesses hiring. Yet, at the same time, standing on a corner are young; able bodied men and women wanting a handout. True, I don’t know their story. Yet when I see the same people “parked” on similar corners with their signs week in and week out, I want to know why. It’s my personal judgement, yet I can’t help but wonder why they don’t walk the couple blocks and apply for a job that would put money in their pocket.

I’ve always been a person who is willing to help others who are not as fortunate. I donate items and money to a variety of organizations, we donated a much larger some of money to the Red Cross with all the hurricanes and we are willing to support our young relatives earning money to travel to their soccer games, being able to participate in a trip to DC for a history class, or funding an outdoor education experience. I can do that because I do have an income, and I choose to put money each month into a Give fund.

Jon and I have housed over 30 young people in our home (without payment) anywhere from a couple months to a couple years with the sole intent of helping them during a time they needed extra support. I don’t say this to brag, but I say this to show I have choices because I do have an income. I do want to help others, and I feel a sense of pride when I see them go on and do something with their lives.

Here’s my difficulty with our current environment. We have a welfare system that was originally set up to be for a short time to help people through tough times. It was originally NOT set up to be a lifestyle or an expected income. Unfortunately, that is NOT the case today.

Benjamin Franklin: “I think the best way of doing good to the poor, is not making them easy in poverty, but leading or driving them out of it…The less that’s done for them, the more they do for themselves, and became richer.”

Abraham Lincoln: “Let not him who is houseless pull down the house of another; but let him labor diligently and build one for himself.”

Franklin D. Roosevelt: “…continued dependence upon relief induces a spiritual disintegration fundamentally destructive to the national fiber. It is in violation of the traditions of America. Work must be found for able-bodied but destitute workers. The Federal Government must and shall quit this business of relief….We must preserve not only the bodies of the unemployed from destitution but also their self-respect, their self-reliance, their courage and determination.”

The Bible says: “If you give a man a fish, he will eat today, but teach a man to fish and he will eat forever.”

“America’s relief programs have traditionally been based on developing personal strength, with an emphasis on faith.” 

My personal philosophy is focused on helping people take control of their lives so they have that sense of self-worth, that pride, that sense of ownership for something they have earned, built, and/or developed. In 1997, Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF), a welfare reform program, was developed. It included time limits, work requirements, and other provisions incentivizing people to get off welfare and lead productive and fulfilling lives by giving states a waiver if they had alternative plans to promote work/job preparation.

“During the 2012 presidential election, a slideshow was released called, “The Life of Julia.” This depicted a vision of the government taking “care” (control, in my opinion) of you from the beginning to the end of your life. This is definitely a philosophical argument between the Left and the Right.

The Left “believes that throwing redistributed money at citizens will fix problems. However, here are some interesting statistics:

*welfare programs grew from less than $9bn (1.3% of GDP) to $324bn (5% GDP) in 1933 to $927bn (6% of GDP) in 2011

*1965-2013, government spent $22tn (inflation-adjusted) on means-tested welfare programs—more than three times the cost of all military wars in the history of the US

*In 2013 a single mother of two was eligible for benefits equivalent of a job paying per-hour $16.96 in CA, $18.27 in NY, and $20.44 in MA which equates to between $35K and $42.5K per year.” (This doesn’t take into account state, county, and municipal benefits.)

Unfortunately, the way welfare was structured under TANF is no longer the case especially when it comes to time limits and work requirements. The way our welfare system is now structured DISCOURAGES opportunity, self-reliance, and ultimately getting OFF government support. Currently, there is no work requirement if you’re an able-bodied individual. SAD! Currently, couples are PENALIZED for marrying as they will lose benefits! SAD!

Social scientists Robert Rector and William Lauber explain, “The current welfare system may be conceptualized best as a system which offers each single mother a ‘paycheck’…She will continue to receive her ‘paycheck’ as long as she fulfills two conditions: (1) she must NOT work; and (2) she must not marry an employed male…(Welfare) has converted the low-income working husband from a necessary breadwinner into a net financial handicap. It has transformed marriage from a legal institution designed to protect and nurture children into an institution that financially penalizes nearly all low-income parents who enter into it.”

Think about that. Reread the above paragraph one more time. Now think about what’s been happening to our low-income families. All in the name of “taking care of you” this system doesn’t allow for our single moms or disenfranchised dads to have a purpose, to have a Why, to pursue the American Dream.

With the philosophy that government will take care of all of us, it may sound good - originally. However, it “cripples the most vulnerable.” This welfare state actually “breaks up families, minimizes incentives to work, blocks people from saving and purchasing property, and takes away the American Dream. The current welfare system, “overshadows dreams of a promised future with a present despair born of poverty, violence, and hopelessness.”

Dr. Ben Carson has been criticized for saying that the housing for able-bodied groups of people need not be comfortable. He specifically stated he is NOT referring to the disabled, the mentally-ill, or those unable to work. His point is to not make things so comfortable that they will never want to leave. The focus should be to help people get back on their feet not to enable them forever.

If you receive a Habitat for Humanity home there are specific guidelines:

·       Applicant must complete at least 400 hours of sweat equity towards the building of Habitat homes. ...

·       Applicant must be willing to live in a neighborhood in which Habitat is currently building;

·       Applicant must be willing to attend required workshops for success in homeownership.

These guidelines establish a “buy in” by the recipients.

Have you ever been a part of a project to build a playground for a school? Have you ever been a part of a project that develops gardens for community members who don’t have land in order to be able to plant, grow, and harvest their own crops? Have you ever had your children, students etc. purchase gifts for underprivileged children during the holiday season using money they have earned themselves? Have you ever set up a GIVE jar with money your children get from birthdays, work they’ve done, allowances etc. and then they get to choose where and who they want to GIVE their money to?

What I believe is the ‘buy-in”, the connection, the feeling of pride is far greater than anything that is just handed to them.

In this lesson from Defending America, Newt states, “The greatest failure of the welfare state was its direct and indirect undermining of personal strength…the actual effect of the welfare state is to weaken and cripple the poor…the regulations discourage work, which undermines perseverance, discipline, and responsibility.” There is no satisfaction and sense of pride that getting a paycheck you worked for will give. There is nothing like hearing encouragement from a job well done!

What can we do? We can make sure we are truly teaching our children, grandchildren, employees etc. etc. to be independent, helping them develop their personal strengths, we can instill and model a positive work ethic, and we can teach them that God has made each of us to be successful in our own life’s journey. We can teach them there IS an American Dream for ALL people and their hopes and dreams are important and are attainable!! It’s an abundance mentality NOT a scarcity mentality.

My business mentor sent me a postcard that I look at each day:

“You don’t need permission to chase the dreams God has put in your heart.”

I may have totally challenged your belief system this week. My position is for each and every one of us to be all that God has created us to be! We can take control of our lives with a sense of purpose, hope, and a strong conviction to take an active part in building the life WE want to build NOT what the government says we can or can’t build.

I wish you a week of reflection.

What's YOUR Story

Before starting this week’s blog, I want to send out prayers to all the first responders; the medical profession, those families who have lost loved ones in this horrific human tragedy, and those who are recovering. I also send prayers to the people who survived having lived through a horrible, life changing experience, and prayers for the city of Vegas as they push forward to recover together.

Some of the comments and/or tweets being made by the media, a teacher, and even a high ranking CBS executive are beyond reprehensible. What? 59 AMERICANS were murdered with 512+ AMERICANS injured. 

I am more and more fearful of the divisiveness this country has moved toward. The pure HATE for this President, the justification for violence when someone's opinion is different, the lack of balanced coverage with the media, students needing safe spaces, and the drive to separate us the exact situation Martin L. King fought against.

Through my blogs, I have tried to focus on each of us being in control of our lives and to have a grateful spirit. I continue to advocate for EACH of us, personally, to learn and grow to better ourselves in all areas of our lives. I do not pretend to have all the answers, I want people to question, to research using a variety of sources, and to not blindly accept what they hear and read as fact. 

Last week, I wished you a week of reflecting on who you are associating with, and therefore who is also influencing you? Did you take the time to reflect on whether your words and actions are truly coming from your heart OR are they because you are wanting control, acceptance, or both? What did you learn?

There are many issues facing our country today that should be up for debate and discussions. Unfortunately, our free speech; which I will address in a couple weeks, is under attack as well. There seem to be more "tweet wars" and "attacks" on Facebook any time a different perspective is given. 

I fear there is a deeper and even more devastating cause for where we are today. We have a younger generation, who live each day without hope or purpose. They have not been brought up with the American Dream mentality. They have not been brought up learning what this great country has done for so many generations and why this country is like no other country in the world, and they have no sense of purpose. 

Two books; The iY Generation, and Start with Why, along with a session from the Defending America series have all contributed to the next two week’s topics of my blog. Because I have spent a great deal of time reflecting on this; and I am sharing my personal thoughts, I will be breaking this blog segment into two parts.

Most of you are aware I enjoy reading and growing on a personal level. That has not always been the case. When I was younger, I was not exposed to the personal development books primarily because they were not as plentiful as they are now. I only had my own opinions based on my experiences and the family and friends around me. I didn’t understand why I often felt different about topics or situations, as I had little to compare things to, and I was not comfortable with who I was as a person. Therefore, yes, I did succumb to wanting to be accepted and usually kept my mouth shut.

Early in my teaching career, my reading material was either fictional books we used in the classroom or materials to enhance my teaching techniques. There was little, if any, personal development focus. When looking back on my career and when I began reading personal development books, I became more aware of why some of the teaching teams I was on were more effective than others. The successful team teaching situations were with people where we shared the same goals and objectives, we could disagree on how we were going to reach our goals but NEVER on WHY we were doing what we were doing. We honored each other for our individual skills and talents, and we were never competing for who was “the best” – it wasn’t about us it was ALL about the students.  I woke up each morning with a purpose and an excitement. The challenges and road blocks were there, yet my driving focus of WHY I was teaching was always there.

That sense of purpose each day was and is critical for ALL people. I will touch more on that later.

It was later in my career when Jon and I were exposed to network marketing which had a strong component of personal development. We started reading books and listening to tapes (yes, cassette tapes) as we drove into work. We both found we were learning how to deal with situations with all communities in our sphere of work in a very different way. In addition, we were also learning how to be a better individual, a better marriage partner, a better parent. We were learning that our physical, emotional, financial, and spiritual health were all important.

According to Simon Sinek in his book Start with Why, “there are two ways to influence human behavior; you can manipulate it or you can inspire it.” Most often, we don’t know what we don’t know, and it isn’t until we search out information that we can begin to develop who we are, what we stand for, and what we believe is God’s path for us. That doesn’t happen unless we understand WHY we do what we do. WHY is a belief system. HOW will guide our actions to realize the belief, and WHAT is the results of our actions. “If the focus is more on WHAT at the expense of WHY, our ability to thrive and inspire is dubious.”

I spent the first half of this blog, outlining my own journey of learning and growing as a human being. My point is that we don’t learn and grow in isolation, we don’t learn and grow without being challenged on WHY we think the way we do, we don’t learn and grow if we don’t have a purpose in our life, and we definitely are not willing to learn and grow if we blame, complain, and defend our actions pointing the finger at everyone else rather than how we contributed to the situation. That’s called owning up to our words, actions, and choices – ACCOUNTABILITY.

Before I go on, I want to be clear that I look with respect and admiration at my young grandchildren; my nieces and nephews, their teenage children, the young people on our team who are building a business to better themselves. They are THE best when it comes to respect, they have strong work ethics, they have different opinions on topics yet can have a conversation with those who are different, and they are welcoming to people from different backgrounds. I go to personal development seminars and there’s only a common bond of wanting personal financial freedom and learning to be their best as a human being – there is no color, religious, or sexual orientation labeling!

On the other hand, I am disappointed to observe a segment of our young people with an entitlement attitude whose personal beliefs seem absent and are just regurgitating what they hear from the group think of their friends. The book iY Generation explains the effect of video games, being given everything without a clear sense of purpose, and with no true guidelines for success when they grew up with the participation medal mentality versus an actual first, second, third etc. placement. We taught this generation that everyone needs to feel special all the time which ultimately made no one feel special. Failure has been looked upon as a negative versus a learning tool. Our young people have been disabled by not being exposed to differing viewpoints and have seldom been allowed the opportunity to learn how to debate and question. It’s difficult to have a discussion by texting.

Now our liberal colleges are deciding which speakers the students should hear and even setting up “safe spaces” with coloring books etc. if the students’ feelings are hurt by differing viewpoints. The “safe spaces” and therapy sessions were set up for those unable to handle the outcome of the Presidential election.  Even worse, violence is the only action with groups such as Antifa. They believe that because they disagree with a differing viewpoint it’s their right to commit violence. Lectures on campus, town hall meetings, peaceful demonstrations have all been hijacked by those whose tactic is to shout down someone else’s right to speak and commit violence against someone that would have the audacity to voice something which they disagree. 

In the minds of Antifa, it’s justified to physically attack a person, physically damage buildings, businesses, set fires or exclude a certain group. Unfortunately, these are also the young people who have little understanding of a work ethic, are still living at home because they haven’t found the perfect job they think they deserve, drugs are often involved, these young people have no idea of "self" and what they stand for. 

I keep hearing from teachers, coaches, business people about an entitlement attitude and lack of any type of work ethic. Think about how you grew up. Did you have a job? How young were you with your first job? Were you responsible for paying for some of your activities such as going to the movies, bowling, or putting gas in the car? My guess is the natural consequence was that if you didn’t have the money you weren't able to do something or buy something. Did you work through college and/or did you pursue getting scholarships and grants to reduce the cost? In your job were you expected to arrive on time and were you expected to complete some menial tasks such as cleaning up? Were you expected to come dressed in a clean, kept manner etc? Did you ever have to interview for a job and were there others also interviewing for that same position? Did you ever play a sport and someone else was competing for that same position?

My point is that having work experience teaches you about the world and life which includes; doing whatever it takes to get a job done despite your “title,” it means following certain expectations of your boss, it means showing up on time, it means you need to learn to work with a team of people that may be different than you. It leads to a sense of focus that everything you are learning is all about becoming a positive contributor to your own life, the life of your family and those around you. YOU can be in control of your future. When people are working they gain a sense of self, a sense of purpose, and a sense of pride and value to what it is they’re doing.

I wish you a week to revisit the last few weeks of blogs and examine your personal development habits etc. I also wish you this next week to look back and examine your personal work history story. What were your jobs and what life lessons did you learn from each situation?