Faithful Available Teachable

Last week, I wished YOU a week of finding a quiet time to reflect on all that YOU do right, all that YOU do that makes a difference in other’s lives, all that YOU do to continue to learn and grow and be the best that YOU can be whatever your age. I hope you actually DID take time to celebrate the fact that YOU are the greatest hero in your life!!

The Legacy Builder book by Rod Olson continues to have words of wisdom for me. I already talked about having balance in one’s life in order to reach your greatest potential. Another is to Be FAT, an acronym for Faithful – Available – Teachable.

Whether you are talking about your job/career, your role as a spouse/significant other, parent, athlete, coach, CEO, or leader in some capacity these three traits are critical for each of us to apply in our lives for learning and growing to continue.

Trust is a part of Faithful. On some level we need to trust that the organization, team, family unit, company has our best interest at heart. Not just as an employee, a player, a spouse etc. but as a person. Is that always the case? No, not always, however, that is the mindset to maintain. I’m not saying to ignore situations that may not reflect this trust yet there’s something to say about expecting the best and that’s what you will get.

Being Available means to make time to be the best you can be for your staff, your team, your spouse, your family, your community. Part of being Available is to have that balance between time for yourself, time for work, and time for family. Yes, it’s a juggling act especially when you’re working full time, you’re married, and especially when you have children. If you’re truly working to be your best and to make a difference then being Available is a critical component.

Have you ever been with someone who you know is extremely busy, they have a lot on their plate yet when you’re with them they make you feel like you’re THE most important person, and they have all the time in the world for you? It may only be a couple minute conversation yet you leave feeling valued and respected. That to me is the epitome of being Available. It’s the teacher, the coach, the parent, the boss who will drop what they’re doing to give their full attention to the student, the player, the child, the employee who is wanting/needing to talk.

As Olson states, “In order to reach the first two – Faithful and Available – you need to have a Teachable spirit or you have no shot. You can’t think you know everything.” John Wooden the famous UCLA basketball coach says, “What separates the great from the average are those who don’t think they know it all.”

Haven’t you seen it before? It’s the high school player who moves on to play on the collegiate level and thinks he/she doesn’t have anything new to learn. It’s the teacher who’s been teaching for many years and makes no changes in how they teach or how they make learning more relevant. It’s the administrator that equates his position as thinking that gives him or her the credibility for why people need to listen only because of their title. Length of service and job title , however, do not necessarily mean effective leadership. It’s the person who expects everyone else to improve yet they don’t walk their own talk. It’s also the marriage that never grows despite the number of years together and the different circumstances that more years brings to the relationship.

Being Teachable means to learn, grow, change and move on in a new way. Being Teachable also includes making mistakes. Olson says there are three things you can do when you make a mistake: (1) Admit it, (2) Fix it, and (3) Don’t repeat it. We all are going to slip. We all are going to fail. The objective is to get back up and continue the process. Mistakes are how we learn. The goal is to focus on the process NOT the results and you will succeed!

I wish you a week of reflection on what these three words mean in your life:

Faithful – Available – Teachable.

Who's the Greatest Hero in Your Life?

Last week, I wished you a week of taking JUST A MINUTE. Did you take the time to list 10 things that bring you happiness? If you haven’t done that yet, do it NOW.

In the past, I have shared several pieces of learning and information from Jim Britt. He is an incredible speaker, trainer, motivator, and author. It’s been more than five years since I've been to one of his trainings, yet his words of wisdom and advice not only have stuck with me, but his action statements are still ones I use today. The Power of Letting Go is incredibly powerful!

I came across something he had posted on FB not too long ago and it struck a chord with me. How often do you compare yourself to others? Maybe it’s body shape or size, maybe it’s the car you drive or the house you live in. Maybe it’s your finances compared to others. Watch any ad on TV or social media, any movie, etc. and you see a beautiful, slim woman or a handsome, “built” male. Even as you are at the pool you're people watching and comparing.

The Bachelor or the Bacheloette has an unbelievable following! How many seasons has it run now? The dates are all in glorious locations; flying on a helicopter to a remote island for a picnic or a romantic dinner on a roof top in Vegas with violin music playing in the background while overlooking the city. Really? I don’t know about you, I’ve never had a date like that and I’ve been married 40 years.

But remember, there are also the clips of the other women back at the house who are not on the date. The in- fighting, the back stabbing, the outright jealousy is beyond crazy, in my opinion.

Jim’s piece started out, “We are all amazed by the movie superstars, who’s the greatest, who’s the best, who has the most. Although we may be mesmerized as we watch them, we are also reminded of all that we are not. We are not good enough. We don’t deserve more. We are not smart enough. We didn’t get the “lucky” breaks.”

Why is it that we have a difficult time looking at ourselves in a positive way? Why is it we spend a great deal of time comparing ourselves and our lives to others? Why is it so difficult to actually celebrate ourselves? I agree with Jim when he states that the “greatest hero in your life is not in the movies, it is YOU.”

The every day, real heroes are the people like YOU who have character and courage to do what needs to be done for your family, your spouse, your children, your friends in need. YOU have an attitude of “do whatever it takes” and YOU make a difference. Your life is carried out with discipline and dignity. There are no props, no stunt doubles, no rehearsals or do overs.

I’m of the belief that YOU are on this planet for a reason that God has designed for you. That reason sometimes eludes us as we go through the motions of getting through a day. That’s one of the reasons why it’s important to make that list of 10 things that make you happy and grateful!! Your work ethic, your service mindset, your support for your friends and family, your do whatever it takes to be the Best You That You Can Be is what a hero looks like to me!

Jim’s advice is that “in the moments that you are not “up” or you are not feeling so great, moments when you feel that everything and everyone is against you, remind yourself of your greatness! YOU are smart enough strong enough. YOU do have the talent and discipline to achieve your dreams. Look within and see just how special YOU are! YOU are truly amazing! Believe this with all your heart!”

I think right now is a time that young people are trying to find their personal meaningful journey, those of us older are continuing to find what that meaning is now that the kids are out of the house and life is different. Each of us has our own perspective, our own dreams and desires, our own journey that we’re taking. The difficulty is not to get caught up in all the glitter and splash. Each person whether a celebrity, a politician, a famous athlete etc. has struggles and challenges. Life is not perfect for anyone.

The common denominator for those who continue to struggle are those you have more excuses than ACTION. Those who continue to blame, complain, and defend their actions (B,C,D) are also those who will never see their own greatness. They will only see the problem, see others who they think have it so easy, and believe they are the ones who never get a break.

What’s your life worth to you? Tough times will pass, don’t be distracted by plateaus and keep your eyes on all the reasons to be grateful! “The only one who won’t write you off is the One above.”

I wish YOU a week of finding a quiet time to reflect on all that YOU do right, all that YOU do that makes a difference in other’s lives, all that YOU do to continue to learn and grow and be the best that YOU can be whatever your age. Take time to celebrate the fact that YOU are the greatest hero in your life!!

JUST FOR A MINUTE

I hope you took time over this holiday to pause and think about all the gifts we do have in this country. I was proud to see people wearing the red, white, and blue colors, people waving US flags, and chants of USA!

It’s been very interesting to me to listen to conversations where people are blaming and complaining about all that’s wrong with their job, their relationships, their grade in a class, their lack of money, etc. and it goes on and on. There seems to be a “poor pitiful me” mentality where everything that goes wrong with their life has to do with what others are doing to them. It’s about how unfair something is, it’s about all the things they felt they deserved because of their length of time in a job, or their age, or the fact they grew up in a difficult situation.

I don’t deny any of those reasons. We all tend to blame and complain about things that aren’t going the way we want them to go. Maybe that’s human nature, but it’s also, to me, the easy way out. My frustration comes with the same people who are always complaining and pointing fingers are the same ones unable to move forward with solutions. They are not willing to look inward and reflect on what they are in control of and how they can change things for the future.

I am of the mindset that each of us, individually, must look inward for why we are or are not moving forward in our relationships, in our careers, in our financial status, in the classroom, on the field if you’re an athlete, and in our mental happiness.

I recently read a Richard Branson article on happiness. I assume most of you have at least heard his name, but to make sure he is an English business magnate, investor, philanthropist, and a billionaire. What caught my attention was early on his statement that, “happiness isn’t something just afforded to a special few.” He continued by saying, “I know I’m fortunate to live an extraordinary life, and that most people would assume my business success, and the wealth that comes with it, have brought me happiness. In fact, it’s the reverse. I am successful, wealthy and connected because I’m happy.”

I know that may sound a little trite, however, if you read anything about this man you see that he’s always been a person of action, has had his own failures and road blocks, but continues to learn, grow, and move forward. Life was not easy in the beginning but you don’t read about him blaming, complaining, and defending his actions. He took responsibility, he admitted his mistakes, apologized when necessary, but the key ingredient was he was happy with who he was at that point in time in his life.

To me, the key was he was happy and that happiness was what controlled his behavior and his actions. The happiness was internal. How many people do you know who are always looking for that pot at the end of the rainbow and yet if they ever found that pot they would be complaining that there wasn’t much money there?

There are those people who are the ones who are negative, toxic, and constantly complaining. Their conversations are mainly about all the things wrong with their job, with their spouse, with their children, with their colleagues, teachers or coaches, with their team mates and the list goes on and on. What you don’t hear them saying is how they may have a part in the difficulty, let alone any solutions for things to change.

Branson continues with, “So many people get caught up in doing what they think will make them happy, but, in my opinion, this is where they fail. Happiness is NOT about doing, it’s about being.” It’s about thinking consciously about happiness. “Don’t forget the “to-do” list, but remember to write a to-be list too.”

When we’re young, we make plans on what we want to do when we grow up, we make plans to go to college or a tech school, get married, have children etc. all with the attitude that that is what happiness looks like. Notice, however, those things are all on the “to-do” list. Will we have happiness when we get that degree or find our soulmate or have our children? Yes, but that joy or happiness is usually temporary. Life sets in, conflicts happen, our dreams and goals are either being met or not happening at the speed we thought, or we lose our focus on what’s important.

In the article, Richard addressed the fact that all the “to-do” things on our list are only part of the happiness equation. The other, and arguably more important part, is the “to-be” list. “If you allow yourself to be in the moment, and appreciate the moment, happiness will follow.” It’s the things on the “to-be” list that brings lasting happiness. Allowing ourselves just “to-be” puts things in perspective. It’s that time just sitting, being still, being present.

Our lives are filled with homework, projects, spending time with friends, working out, errands, kids, kid activities, job demands, meetings, civic responsibilities, cleaning the house, mowing the lawn etc. etc. etc. That “to-do” list can be endless and yet in the end do we feel fulfilled? Personally, I may feel good that I got things checked off my list, but it’s not a lasting happiness. Not for me, anyway.

“STOP and breathe. Be healthy. Be around family and friends. Be there for someone, and let someone be there for you. JUST FOR A MINUTE.”

JUST FOR A MINUTE. It’s when we find our stress level rising, our patience non-existent, our gut churning, tears are close by, or even just when there’s a feeling of sadness for no reason, we should recognize that we need to STOP! JUST FOR A MINUTE and breathe. As Branson says, “it’s those moments that I stop and just be, rather than do, that have given me true happiness. Why? Because allowing yourself just to be, puts things into perspective. Try it. Be still. Be present.”

For me those quiet moments are when I’m sitting on the porch looking at the mountain sunrises or sunsets. It’s the quiet time watching all my grandchildren playing or holding this newest little baby as he begins to explore his world. It’s hearing my mom’s voice on the other end of the phone telling me about her day or exercising with Jon each morning. 

I remember sitting in the back of my classroom, JUST FOR A MINUTE, watching my fifth graders focus on a project and making new discoveries. I love the smell of the rain, fresh mowed grass, and the flowers from the garden. I love watching the first snow fall, then the budding trees as spring is coming.

“There’s a reason we’re called human beings and not human doings. We have the ability to think, move, communicate. We have the ability to cooperate, understand, feel empathy, reconcile, and to love.”

Let’s not waste our human talents by stressing over the little things or those things wecannot change. What if instead we took JUST A MINUTE to stop, breathe, and appreciate something. Even if it’s only one thing. I know when I allow myself that minute, and just sit, the stresses begin to dissolve or at least not have as much of a hold on me.

As Branson says, “happiness should not be a goal, it should be a habit. Be loving, be grateful, be helpful, and be a spectator of your own thoughts.” What’s interesting, I have found, the more I can focus on my gratitude/happiness, the more I will consciously STOP JUST FOR A MINUTE.

When things seem overwhelming, when the list is so long I don’t know how it’s all going to get done by the deadline, when toxic people seem to be surrounding me or their blocking actions seem too much, this is when the time to just BE makes a difference. When I allow myself that quiet time just “to-be” is when I gather an inner peace and strength, and then I can move forward with more energy and purpose.

Our “to-do” lists are important. Being prepared for a meeting, the next film session, the next loan committee, the next class, the next herd check, the next interview all feel good. We do get a feeling of happiness with many things on our “to do” list. That’s all good too. I would just encourage you to not forget that there’s more…

The best days teaching, for me, were the times a student needed to talk about people picking on him/her. It took away from grading papers, but really, what’s important? The times when a teammate called needing encouragement were priceless. Not on my “to do” list but friendship was on my “to be” list.

I wish you a week of taking JUST A MINUTE, take out a piece of paper, and list 10 things that are what bring you happiness. Be specific. Put that paper somewhere that you can pull it out to read again when you need a reminder of what your life’s journey is really all about. 

4th of July

Last week, I wished you a week of reflection on how you are living your life through these three areas: humility, hunger, and hustle. I hope you took time to reflect on these three, and you had a chance to examine where they fit in your life.

July 4^th. Independence Day. Do you know the year we became a country? Do you know how many senators are in Congress? Do you know the difference between the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution? How many branches of government do we have? What is the job of each of the branches? These are only a few questions someone taking the test for citizenship to the USA will have to answer.

I found it difficult to listen to one of the newsmen last night asking young people on a college campus a variety of questions that are on that citizenship test. It was embarrassing to realize that a simple question of when we became a country couldn’t be answered by the majority of those interviewed. Their answers weren’t even close except one woman who did know. Then there was the question of how many total senators are in Congress. Once again nothing even close except for the same woman who answered the previous question correctly. There were four or five more questions and except for the one woman the others had no clue. Really? These are college students. How can that be?

I know when I was teaching fifth grade part of our social studies curriculum was government and learning about our country. I also know that government was part of the curriculum in middle school and all sophomores in high school had to take a government class in order to graduate. Is that not the case any longer? To me, it’s embarrassing and sad that American born citizens do not know the basics of their own government and the history behind their own country. In my opinion, that’s not just the responsibility of the school system but it should also be a parental responsibility to educate our children on this great country.

This is not an issue of ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation or any other category. This is purely learning about and understanding the country that we live in and the freedoms that we do possess. In my opinion, there is no reason for ignorance. You may not agree with everything, but the fact that you have the freedoms that you have today are because our fore fathers had a vision and dream. This year we celebrate 241 years since the Declaration of Independence was signed.  

My grandchildren have been taught to take off their hat, stop, and put their hand over their heart whenever they hear the Star Spangled Banner. AND they actually know the words to the anthem. These are children who are 3-11. In the small towns, you will see flags hung outside almost every home and along the streets. Business fronts are decorated as well. People are proudly wearing red, white, and blue and the little one’s know that July 4^th is America’s birthday. There is a sense of pride and that pride is evident. 

I “get it” that many people only want to point to all the wrong that is part of our country’s history, I “get it” that there are issues that need to be addressed, and I “get it” that we don’t all agree.

What I don’t get is why there isn’t more focus on all that IS right and IS good about this country. (If you’ve ever lived in a foreign country you have more of a comparison.) What I don’t get is the violence and destruction that is NOT a part of freedom of speech. What I don’t get is the violence and shouting down speakers who have been invited to a campus by a campus organization. What I don’t get is taking flags from graves and putting them in a garbage bin. What I don’t get is a “Woman’s March” that didn’t accept pro-choice women.

I am also appalled at the dialog that we hear from our leaders. I denounce the name calling that President Trump will engage in at times. I find his other tweets to be informative. Why is it, however, that we are not just as enraged with the personal attacks, name calling, and plays depicting our President being assassinated all in the name of freedom of speech? Why is it not an outrage with ANY name calling and  ANY personal attacks no matter who it is and who is talking especially those in the media?

I hope that you are using this holiday to enjoy your family and friends, to eat good food, have a social time with true conversations, and take time to oooh and ahhh watching all the fireworks.  Let's use this holiday to pause, think about all the gifts we do have because we do live in the greatest country in the world, THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

Happy 4^th of July