Do You Have a Life of Learning and Growing?

Last week, I wished you a week to take the time to STOP and REFLECT on something that you’re passionate about. What were your reflections?

Here’s this week’s question, “Are you a different person now than you were 10, 20 years ago?” For me, that means when I was in my mid 40’s and mid 50’s. The easy answer is, “Yes, of course.” Then the follow up question is, “How? How am I different?” That takes more time of reflection.

The easy reflection is 20 years ago, I was still working, I had been married 20 years, and was raising two teenagers. Ten years ago, I had been retired for a year, and the  although I am kids were both out of college and married. Jon was working for another year before he retired.

That’s easy to remember. The more difficult reflection is thinking about me as a person, a woman, a wife, a mother, friend, and much more. I remember many situations which were uncomfortable, conversations that went against my personal beliefs but I didn’t speak up, and things I said and did that were self-centered. I remember focusing on only my own beliefs and believing that I was right and others were all wrong. I spent more time justifying my own opinions and actions without a lot of reflection.

Between my three years in Staff Development and attending several personal development seminars, I began to make a more conscious effort to learn and grow personally. Previously, I was consumed with reading books that my fifth graders were reading, and reading material for the ever changing world of education. I don’t think I was as open to looking inward as I have been in my life lately, although I do believe that’s also developmental for most people.

In my personal reflections, I am able to see a trend in my learning curve. I have become more focused on my personal growth in my faith, my relationships with my husband, children, family, friends, and of course now my grandchildren. I am more comfortable in “my own skin.” I am not willing to play games any more, and I will engage in conversations that may be on a more sensitive topic although I do choose whom I’m willing to have a conversation.  Even 20 years ago, I was definitely in the “my way or the highway” attitude. Not necessarily out of arrogance but because I truly believed I had the right answer.

 As I have grown older in age, I have also grown “wiser” in my thinking. I feel I am more willing to listen and ask questions. I also feel I’m much more willing to either let things go or I’m more willing to pick my battles. I find that as I have aged, I am more passionate about people living their life to their fullest potential. If we focus on learning and growing each and every day in our faith, in our health, in our emotional fitness and physical fitness, in our jobs, in our relationships then, I believe we will be true to the journey God has planned for us.

A young man on Jason’s football team made a poor decision last week by getting caught on a random drug test. He is now suspended for 30 days. He is not able to practice or play football. As a young person, he could have “thrown in the towel,” he could have participated in B,C, D - blaming, complaining, or defending his actions but he didn’t. He apologized, he asked for more hours in the fitness center to earn more money during this time away from football, and he is working with his coaches to learn from this. This young man, though he couldn’t’ play, was at the football game which was 45 minutes from campus. He was in the stands which were very close to the team bench. During the entire game, this young man was cheering on, encouraging, and giving advice to his teammates. He was engaged.

In talking with this young man after the game, Jon and I were able to share a few thoughts with him. He was respectful, he knew this was his chance to learn and grow from his mistake. His actions were representative of that commitment. We also reminded him that this mistake did not define who he is as a person.

How many of us can think about what we may have said or done when we were younger? That is not reserved just for the 20, 30, and 40 year olds. I have known, personally, situations with friends and family who, in their 50’s and 60’s, made some horrible mistakes. My observations have been that the people who owned up to their failings, the people who changed their behavior, the people who started making a difference in not only their own lives but in the lives of the people around them are the ones I celebrate.

Mistakes and failures can be a learning tool. How have you handled your mistakes and failures? Have you owned up to those times where you weren’t your best? I would hope that if you believe that God created each of us out of love, then that means we all can learn, grow, and be a better person.

My next book is Jon Gordon’s The Seed: Finding Purpose and Happiness in Life and Work also author of The Energy Bus that was a fantastic book for me.  I plan to continue to learn, grow, and be better each day.

I wish you a week of finding a way to learn and grow each day this next week.