Words and Ideas Can Change the World

I hope you had an opportunity to share special thoughts with their mother, if possible, and you experienced that love and attention yourself if you are a mother.  I saw many comments on Facebook that were tributes to mother’s who had passed away but continue to have an impact on their children’s lives. It was a nice day for me as well.

I also hope you spent some time thinking about the quote, “God created our skin tones with beautiful variety, but all our souls are the same color.”  I want to continue with this same theme in this week’s blog.

Accepting and Loving Unconditionally. First of all, let’s get a definition of the words conditional and unconditional.  Conditional is defined as, “made or allowed on certain terms, one or more requirements needed to be met on specific terms.” The definition of unconditional, on the other hand, is “not limited by conditions or limitations.”  It’s interesting to me to hear the nightly news of our global conflicts, read American history or any country’s history for that matter, or even listen to communication around any of us whether at work or at home.  Race, religion, sexual preference, abortion, marijuana (since I’m here in Colorado I had to mention that one), political preference, male – female, economic status, and the list goes on and on.  The question I’m contemplating this week and beyond is, “Can we, individually, start accepting (or loving) unconditionally rather than judging?  If we did that, what would our world look like?”

I've written about judgment and acceptance before.  Yes, it’s two of those traits that bear repeating yet maybe in another way.  I could take the approach that there’s nothing I can do about many of the religious conflicts currently going on, the political issues with Russia and the Ukraine, etc.  However, I choose to do what is in my control.  After all, that’s all I can do anyway, right?!  We all have our own experiences, our own opinions, our own styles, our own comfort zones, our own uniqueness.  With that brings all the reasons why we may have all the conflicts and “issues” that we have.  Yet, the one thing we all have in common is how we decide we will express and deal with those differences.  Doesn't it come down to choice?  Back to an earlier blog, isn't it really our need for acceptance or a need for control?  Some of the headlines seem to also relate to retaliation for other situations that have occurred. (Are those actions going to bring about change?) 

UNCONDITIONAL love and acceptance is without limitations or conditions.

In Robin Williams words from the Dead Poets Society, “Words and ideas can change the world.”  For me, that’s not just a line in a movie, it’s the way our lives can be!  It IS a choice.  The choice is to interact with all those around us whether they be family, an acquaintance, or even a brief encounter.  My belief is that our God is God of the whole world.  God is loving and pulls all people in.  God shows unconditional love and acceptance, in my opinion.  So what’s our job?  First, I can accept others even if I don’t agree with them.  I may not like their choices, but everyone is on a journey and if I can give acceptance and love for them in all parts of their journey that’s what’s in my control.  Can I give my opinion, suggestions, another view point?  Of course, that’s my role as a parent, spouse, and friend.  But what’s NOT my role is to convince others they’re wrong and should do something MY way.  I can pray that God give THEM the strength and understanding, but I need to let go of my need for acceptance or control.  Having heard from parents with children who have addictions, they have often said they love them unconditionally, however, they do not like or support the particular behavior.  In fact, you may want to click on this link from AA:  http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/smf-121_en.pdf  Personally, this list is something to live by for all of us.  What if our words were words of hope, encouragement, we asked reflecting questions all with the purpose to “sow seeds,” that may later grow?

We often encounter situations which don’t fit into our personal philosophy. What if we decided to live our lives accepting and loving unconditionally?  To me, that means before judging we listen, learn why something is the way it is, we give everyone room to grow and change because we know that God has the bigger plan.  We don’t have to understand to accept and love unconditionally.  We have choices to make.  Maybe that choice is to avoid a particular person, situation, environment because it’s toxic.  It is what it is.  So, can I live with not having things my way and on my timeline?  That’s a key question.

WOW.  This turned into a blog heavier than I originally intended.  I hope you have a few things to think about from this point forward.  I wish you unconditional acceptance and love for YOURSELF and then others.

The only way love can last a lifetime is if it's unconditional. The truth is this: love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love.” 
― Stephen Kendrick, The Love Dare

All Our Souls are the Same Color

Did you make a decision to do one of the ideas listed last week to help increase your energy?  Maybe you had a different idea but you still committed to the 30 days.  After the first week, how did you do?  Remember to keep track and write it down.  We think we’ll remember, but that’s not usually the case in the long run.  Plus, according to Zig Ziglar, and many others, the written goal is much more powerful and has a much higher chance of happening when it’s written down.

On Facebook, I shared a powerful visual of many different colored arms with the caption, “God created our skin tones with beautiful variety, but all our souls are the same color.”  That particular image truly spoke to me especially in light of all that’s happened the past few months from Ferguson, to Baltimore, to Texas, and even here in one of our own Boulder middle schools.  We can focus all our energy (there’s that word again) on how awful our world is and all the negatives.  I am not taking any of these incidences lightly, which are only a microcosm of everything else happening around the world, but I also am of the viewpoint that I can only deal with my world.  With this perspective, I am writing from my heart today. “All our souls are the same color.”

I am one person as are each of you.  I choose to believe that in my own little way, I can make a difference and have an impact.  Take a step back and view your “sphere of influence.”  Who does that include?  A spouse, partner, or significant other?  Children?  Grandchildren?  Parents?  Siblings?  Other relatives?  Neighbors?  Friends?  Organizations you belong to?  Colleagues?  You get the picture...our sphere of influence is wide spread.  With that in mind, what are the values you stand by?  What is your belief system in all areas of your life?  What are you teaching your children and grandchildren about life and about how to treat others?  Do you walk your talk?  Do you have a particular view about religion, race, ethnic backgrounds, education, sexuality, economic levels etc.?  Once again that list can go on and on. That saying may also read, “All our souls are the same.”  

In my mind, we are all human beings and deserve to be treated in a respectful manner!  Respect, appreciating differences, not being judgmental, and having conversations to learn are all in our control.  We can start each day with our own prayer of, “Today is a day full of abundance and blessings,” then end each day reflecting on all the blessings and all the abundance.  Let’s see a ripple effect of our intentions to celebrate differences rather than be afraid, let’s celebrate and acknowledge differences without judgment.  We can have our own opinions, we can share those with others in a respectful way, with the focus to listen, learn, grow, and be respectful.  You never know when your words will have an impact on those around you.  It may be MANY years later when we read something or someone shares an unforgettable time, a special memory.  Our children and our grandchildren are watching our “every move,” they hear all the conversations (even the ones we think they didn't hear), the tone of our voice, they see our choices, they recognize when our words and actions don't match, and they are little “mini me’s.” 

What are you doing each day to send out a “ripple effect” with the message, “All our souls are the same color,” and “All our souls are the same?” 

In light of Mother’s Day this Sunday, I want to wish all the Mother’s a very special day!  I’m fortunate to still have my mom, Mary Jean Tilden, still on this earth and count her as one of my blessings each day.  Whether you know your mother or not, whether your mother is alive or not, whether you have a relationship with your mother or not, no matter your story, your mother did give you life, and for that count your blessings.