Never Quit - Another Story

As I wrote in an earlier blog, my niece Jessica is now in her first few weeks of medical school. She is the one who took the MCAT tests three times, was told over and over that she should reframe her goals and go to PA school etc. Despite the naysayers, she is now living her dream. She never quit!

I love the stories of people who have a goal and pursue that goal no matter what it takes. The desire is there, the WHY is strong, and despite all the struggles the goal never changes!

Would you be willing to put your desire to lose 150 pounds out on social media? Would you be willing to document your struggles with details, pictures, and videos? Would you stay committed despite a journey that might take a year?

Guy Danhoff, a professor at Missouri Baptist University in St. Louis is doing just that. Because of a love of football and being a former player himself, Guy has been helping the football program with interviews, coach’s shows, and even using his sports media class to apply lessons in the class to real world experience. He was a football player himself in college, a rock band guitar player, is currently a professor at MBU, a digital marketing consultant, now in his 40’s, married, and with three daughters. He is extremely talented and works hard in all he does.

In his words, he’s struggled with his weight for quite some time. Now he’s working hard on getting himself healthy.

I don’t know Guy well, but because of his connection with MBU football where our son, Jason, is the head coach, I have enjoyed watching him and more importantly catching his Facebook posts. This is where I’ve seen him make a commitment to his health.

D1 Training St. Louis West is a new gym in the St. Louis area with a wonderful message of mind and body working hand in hand to make a difference in their clients’ lives. Guy has made a commitment to working out at D1 Training and changing his lifestyle with his ultimate goal to lose 150 pounds. He documents his workouts, how he’s changing his eating habits through the help of a company that delivers meals, and he posts pictures of his youngest daughter who is his WHY.

24 pounds lost in 29 days, new mindset of working out and eating correctly with a good program, being more active, and most of all being consistent with each aspect of his new routine.

For me, Guy is teaching each of us that there are specific steps to success. Making a commitment to a dream and never giving up is a critical first step. Small steps and setting attainable goals keeps your action moving forward. Do whatever it takes to achieve the goals. No excuses allowed. Have a support system, seek advice from professionals, and understand that this is a journey, and it will take time. Your WHY must be strong enough to get through the tougher and more discouraging days. Document the journey whether it’s written, photos, videos on the good days and the bad as they will be your story to tell later. The documentation will be a great reminder of how far you’ve come when you reach your goal. The recorded history is a reminder that you are strong and can do anything you set your mind to.

Jess worked through a learning disability, going back for a second degree, taking the MCAT’s three times, and so much more. Yet, she is now starting medical school! Guy has just started his journey, yet he is setting himself up for success and his WHY is guiding him each day.

What about you? What are you wanting to change in your life and what are you willing to do to make that change happen? Are you willing to do whatever it takes to improve your life in a specific area? Are you willing to change? Are you willing to be uncomfortable? Are you willing to take the time no matter how long it takes to get the results you want? Are you willing to put action behind your words? Are you committed enough that no matter what you will NEVER quit?

Here’s to a week of reflection.

Book Suggestion: Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin

Quote: “We all fight battles and face the temptation to stop fighting and just give up, but commitment is the thing that enables us to resist that temptation. When you are fiercely committed to God’s purpose for your life, you will begin to experience all that He has for you.”

Everybody Somebody Anybody Nobody

July 14^th was an interesting read from The Power of Being Thankful book. Wishing for something doesn’t produce the results we desire.

“I once heard a story about four people called Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done, and Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. In the end, Everybody blames Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.”

“The moral of the story is simple: If you see that something needs to be done and you have the ability to do it, be thankful for the opportunity that God has given you and go be the change that everybody else is waiting for.”

I keep reading this over and over. It’s extremely powerful when you put these words into various situations. Think of something that you have been a part of recently that ended badly or something that could have had a much better outcome. Did you have an opportunity to be a change agent?

What gets in the way for Everybody or Somebody to take action? The list is endless. Situations vary as to why people are not willing to take action. It may be an intimidating boss, it may be fear of loss of a job, fear of loss of friends, fear of loss of income etc. It may be a lack of self confidence and the feeling that others won’t listen.

It’s complicated and because human being are involved, there are many excuses and rationalization. We get caught up in our own story, our own life experiences, our own unwillingness to see things through a different set of eyes. Our tendency is to take the “safe” route, not rock the boat, not bring attention to ourselves, not challenge those in authoritative positions.

How is it then that we can learn to solve problems in a collaborative way with an effective outcome? First and foremost, it’s ALL up to YOU as to what is in YOUR control. You can not control anyone else. You CAN control whether you go back to old ways of blaming, complaining, and defending your actions which are nonresourceful OR you find a path that will move things forward in a positive, respectful way. YOU can “pick your battles” and decide which is worth your time and focus. YOU are in control where and when you confront/challenge something.

Ultimately, it comes down to how confident you are in yourself to make a difference in your own world. Are you ready to learn new strategies, learn new information, learn new ways to do something? Are you open to learning and growing in ALL areas of your life? Are you willing to change, be coachable, handle feedback from a respected and skilled mentor?

If you are ready to enhance your life, if you’re willing to get out of your comfort zone to learn and grow, you can avoid more often than not situations where “Everybody blames Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.” You CAN be a change agent!

Book Suggestion: 12 Pillars by Chris Widener

Quote: Unless you try doing something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow. “ Ralph Waldo Emerson

CONFIDENCE

Why is it we see everyone else “perfect,” and we only see our own faults and shortcomings?

We think everyone else has it all together without any challenges in their life. We see ourselves, on the other hand, in such a critical light. Why don’t we have the relationship we think others have? Why can’t we lose weight? Why can’t we have the same financial freedom? The list goes on and on.

Instead of looking at all we DO have, we look at all that we want/don’t have. COMPARING others to ourselves is “deadly.” We are making comparisons NOT based on any actual facts, only what we “think” are the facts. It really comes down to our personal level of confidence or self-esteem.

Rather than spending time identifying our own assets, our own gratitude’s, we allow our focus to be on what we WISH we had. Personally, I think reality shows and shows like The Bachelor or the Bachelorette paint an unrealistic picture of life.

Are there any benefits of comparing ourselves to others? The only thing I can think of is seeing things in a different way that would motivate me to make a change. There are many stories of people who have come from unhealthy and unsafe environments who strive to get out and not follow the same path as other family or friends. We hear stories of men and women, both, who don’t respect themselves enough to think they deserve better allowing themselves to be in unhealthy relationships. We hear stories of young people who are in poorly run schools that want a better education and find a way to get to a better school for a better education. These are good reasons to compare ourselves to others.

What’s the common theme for those who have overcome difficulties?  Well-known leaders in personal development say, “If you want something different in your life, you have to DO something different.” That means CHANGE. These stories all reflect a willingness to change and they took ACTION to change. The other common theme is that these people have confidence and enough self-esteem to believe that they DO deserve better, and they take ACTION. The big question is…Are you living the life that God meant you to live and if not, why not?

Take a minute and think about this. Are you taking care of yourself physically? Are you taking care of yourself emotionally? Are you taking care of your finances? Are you taking care of your relationships with a significant other? Are you taking care of your spiritual life?

When you answer these questions are you thinking about YOU or are you looking at what you wish was the case? Are you being honest with yourself or are you avoiding something because it’s too painful or it seems to be unfixable or it seems to be unattainable?

In The Power of Being Thankful book, I read the daily entry and I re-read several entries from previous days because the message is one I need to read continuously as a reminder. I want to share one of these in hopes it can help you take a step forward to becoming the best YOU that YOU can be…

April 2^nd  Living with Confidence  “A person without confidence is like an airplane sitting on a runway with empty fuel tanks. The plane has the ability to fly, but without some fuel, it’s not getting off the tarmac. Confidence is our fuel. Our confidence gets us started and helps us finish every challenge we tackle in life. Without confidence we will live in fear and never feel fulfilled. Confidence allows us to face life with boldness, openness, and honesty. It enables us to live without worry and to feel safe. It enables us to live authentically. “

“When we know who we are in God, we don’t have to pretend to be somebody we’re not because we are secure in who we are---even if we’re different from those around us. Confidence allows us to live peaceful, joy-filled lives.”

Two final questions. One, if you’re not seeing yourself in a confident way, what are you going to do to change that? What ACTION are you willing to take? Second, is your lack of confidence/self-esteem because you compare yourself to others and don’t really know all YOUR own incredible talents and assets? What ACTION are you willing to take to make a change?

Book Suggestion: The Power of Being Thankful by Joyce Meyer

Quote:  “Work on being in love with the person in the mirror who has been through so much but is still standing.”

Be Present - Reflections

Time with three of the grandchildren. Hall of Fame induction for CU Coach Ceal Barry. Holding 9-month-old great nephew, Joseph, for the first time. Coffee update with another retired teacher and good friend. Father’s Day this past Sunday. Wonderful opportunities to celebrate and a reminder of the importance of time spent with friends and family.

Lots of miles put on the car traveling to Illinois, then on to Knoxville with a stop in Nashville for a short time before going back to Illinois, and then home. A reoccurring thought, throughout our travels, was how blessed I am that Jon and I are healthy enough to be able to do all we want to do.

We spent time with people we haven’t seen in a long time at Ceal’s induction. It was a time to reminisce, a time for stories, laughter, and a time to hear all that is happening in everyone’s life. Throughout the weekend, we heard stories of the impact coaches had on so many lives. It was the importance of having an opportunity to play a game they loved and to be able to get out of challenging environments to go on and make an impact on others’ lives. It was all about connections and the importance of how much people cared and showed their caring through their actions.

Stopping on our way back to the farm, we saw Dan, Holly, and Joseph. It was time to catch up on my nephew Dan’s finishing his residency and getting ready to begin his Fellowship starting July 1^st. It was hearing from Holly about going back to work and juggling work and family, and it was extra special watching Joseph explore his world. Thank goodness for baby sign language as Joseph was ready to eat and let his parents know by signing.

Watching Teagan play T-ball brought many memories of when our kids played. It was coloring, putting together Legos, watching Kyan crawling at break neck speeds and climbing up on the dishwasher to “help.” Checking out all the newborn calves (LOTS) and the girls “helping” with getting the cows ready to classify. One of THE best parts was catching fireflies!! Unless you’ve been in the Midwest you may not know about these as we don’t have them here in Colorado. Jason made sure there was a glass jar with holes in the top and a little grass to put the fireflies that the girls caught.

Thanks to Jon and his willingness to “drive Miss Daisy” we missed hitting two deer and made it home safely. The car now registers over 200,000 miles. Many thoughts of all that Jon is to our children and grandchildren. He is someone we all can count on to do whatever it takes, is open to help in any way, is there to listen and help in whatever way that may look.

My thoughts from these 8 days…(1) hearing the grandchildren say please and thank you when they needed something, (2) coming home and finding in the mail a thank you hand written note, written by our 8 year old granddaughter along with a picture, (3) the best way to know what’s going on in someone’s life is to ask questions and totally listen to the answers without interrupting, (4) realizing we’re all in a position to influence, inspire, and empower others through the giving of our time, focus and being present, and (5) it was saying and hearing back “I love you.”

I wish you an opportunity to sit down and reflect on how you’ve spent your last couple weeks. What are your thoughts? What do you “come away with?”

Suggested book: The Go-Giver Leader by Bob Burg and John David Mann

Quote: “It’s the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen.” John Wooden

Dream Small

Happy first Tuesday in June! May came and went all too quickly.

I was listening on the radio to a new song by Josh Wilson called “Dream Small.” My first reaction was What? Dream small? Then I listened carefully to the words. It’s a beautiful message!

Verse 1

It’s a momma singing songs about the Lord

It’s a daddy spending family time that the world said he cannot afford

These simple moments change the world

It’s a pastor at a tiny little Church

Forty years of loving for the broken and the hurt

These simple moments change the world.

Chorus:

Dream small

Don’t bother like you’ve gotta do it all

Just let Jesus use you where you are

One day at a time

Live well

Loving God and others as yourself

Find little ways where only you can help

With His great love

A tiny rock can make a giant fall

Dream small.

Verse 2

It’s visiting the widow down the street

Or dancing on a Friday with your friend with special needs

These simple moments change the world

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with bigger dreams

Just don’t miss the minutes on your way, your bigger things

‘Cause these simple moments change the world.

Keep loving, keep serving

Keep listening, keep learning

Keep praying, keep hoping

Keep seeking, keep searching

Out of these small things and watch them grow bigger

The God who does all things makes oceans…from rivers.

For me, this is my take away:

These simple moments change the world

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with bigger dreams

Just don’t miss the minutes on your way, your bigger things

‘Cause these simple moments change the world.

Book Suggestion: The Go Giver Influencer by Bob Burg and John David Mann

Quote: “Your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value than you take in payment. The most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself.”

TIME is Precious

TIME. We all have 24 hours in a day. Time is THE most precious commodity we have each day. AND time can also be THE most frustrating and stressful part of our lives.

This is the time of year where school is almost out, all the end-of-the year activities pile up, there are graduations to prepare for, some summer sports are starting with a new set of juggling demands, and this may also be a busy time at work on top of everything else. Yet, when we think about it, is there really any slower time? There always seems to be something.

I remember my principal would often reference the spinning of the plates on a stick seen at the circus as a visual of all the demands we each have “on our plate.” Doesn’t it feel that way at times? One plate is the job, there’s a plate for each child, our spouse/relationship is another plate, church demands, physical needs eg working out, the house, the yard, special events eg birthdays/weddings, maintaining the house, meals, grocery shopping, laundry etc. etc. etc. Whew! I’m tired already.

Picture each of the above “plates’ spinning and you running between the plates trying to keep them all spinning. Isn’t that what it feels like sometimes? And then we wonder why we start to have some of the plates crash. We’re frustrated that we can’t get everything done that we need to get done. We may even get so overwhelmed that we shut down.

How can some people seem to get so much more done in a day than others? I would propose there are some common characteristics with those people. They are usually disciplined with their time, they pre-plan and prepare in advance, they keep not only a calendar but put things on the calendar when they need to DO something, they are more realistic on what they can reasonably get done, things are organized in their home/office, and they seem to also be able to break down tasks into smaller pieces.

I can hear some of you right now with all your reasons and excuses. “I’ve never been organized. I work long hours and have 2, 3+ kids. I’m just not a planner. My mom/dad was never organized so I don’t know how to be either. I’ve tried before, but I’ve never been successful.”

If you like your life always being on reaction mode, always doing things last minute, forgetting events, looking around and seeing all that needs to be done and giving up before you’ve even started to deal with it then maybe these ideas aren’t for you and you can stop reading now.

If you want to begin making some changes, first and foremost understand this is a process, and it’s all about changing habits which does take time and consistency. If possible, find someone who is willing to help you that already has accomplished what you want to accomplish. It’s much more fun to have someone helping you and giving you ideas and suggestions as you begin.

Look around and decide what is THE top priority for you right now. It could be getting your house, garage, office (name your space) organized so that you can find things, and everything has a place making it easier to find things. That can be a HUGE top priority in and of itself. That means then you must break this down into smaller parts and take one area at a time.

Take the approach of…I CAN do this! It will feel fantastic when I see results! My Mindset is I CAN do this. Commit to making changes in your life and your family’s life. If you have a family, involve them in your efforts. Keep them informed about what some of the changes are going to be and involve their help when appropriate.

Set a start date and a date when you want to have something completed. This is critical! Hold yourself accountable. Purchase or gather together, ahead of time, anything you need to get started. It could be something as simple as having four bags or boxes: one for recycling, one for trash, one for keep/organize further, one for donations. Set yourself up for success from the very beginning.

A few thoughts as you begin:

1.    Make your start and ending time reasonable. You want to be successful. Smaller projects such as setting up a filing system for your bills may only take a couple hours. A larger project may mean committing to a couple days or a couple hours each week for a month. Be realistic without procrastinating.

2.    Prioritize what’s the most important area(s) that will make a difference for you and your family or you and your colleagues.

3.    Depending on the project, be sure to have all the supplies needed to accomplish the project BEFORE you start.

4.    Take one step at a time and celebrate when something is accomplished!

You will find, as you move forward, that you are gaining more quality time in your day. You have more time for the fun things you want to do. You will realize how much time has been wasted, in the past, just trying to find things or how stressful life has been due to a lack of things being organized.

I look forward to hearing your project and how you’re proceeding. I’ve been fortunate to have several mentors and am willing to pass along ideas if you need help. Message me at maketraveleasy@gmail.com and we can talk further.

Book Title: Attitude is Everything by Jeff Keller

Quote: “For every minute spent in organizing, an hour is earned.”  Benjamin Franklin

The Precious PRESENT

Do you know people who always seem to be happy? Who always seem to have it altogether? Do you know people who leave you feeling good about yourself? What is it that sets them apart from others?

There’s a wonderful book called The Precious Present by Spencer Johnson that I’d encourage you to read NOW! It’s a quick read – maybe 15 minutes – but the message is powerful and can be life changing!

“Only YOU have the power to make you happy. The PRECIOUS PRESENT is called that because it’s the best present of all – it’s a gift that only YOU can give yourself.”

How often do you find yourself regretting things from your past? How many times do you find yourself wishing things were different? How many times do you find yourself projecting into the future a negative because you’re thinking about the past and projecting it into the future to happen again? We ALL do that.

“The present is just that…THE PRESENT! It’s NOT the Past; it’s NOT the Future, but it’s the PRECIOUS PRESENT!

“…the PRESENT moment is always precious. It’s not because it’s absolutely flawless, which it often seems not to be. But because it’s absolutely everything it’s meant to be…at that moment.”

We can spend our time lamenting about all the moments we missed, or why it has taken us so long to figure out something relatively simple, or how much happiness we have lost along the way. That’s the Past. It’s not happening now!

It doesn’t matter if we figure out what living in the PRESENT feels like if we’re young or old. What’s important is that we figure it out and put that mindset into action.

We all tend to think about what went wrong in many moments. We don’t experience what each special moment and place had to offer. We’re either too busy to notice or our mind seems to only focus on what is wrong or what is different than what we think should happen.

We can beat ourselves up with all we have missed, OR we can be observant to see what we’re doing to ourselves. We can get trapped in our guilt about our Past. In the book The Power of Being Thankful, there’s a wonderful entry on April 1^st:

“Satan remembers every tiny thing we have ever done wrong and will do his best to remind us of those things every chance he gets….No person is without making mistakes, and we all feel guilt at times, but when we keep that guilt long after we have been forgiven, it turns into shame….We need to understand and be thankful that God forgives completely – not partially, or almost, but completely! The goodness of God is greater than any bad thing we have ever or could ever do.”

“It is wise for me to think about the Past, and to Learn from my Past. But it is NOT wise for me to be IN the Past. For that is how I Lose myself.”

“It is also wise to think about the Future and to Prepare for my Future. But it is NOT wise for me be IN the Future. For that, too is how I LOSE myself.”

“And when I LOSE myself, I LOSE what is most precious to me.” Only the PRESENT nourishes us.

Those people we enjoy being around the most are the ones that are totally PRESENT when we’re with them. We “feel” their total presence through their eyes, by their questions, by their listening. We “feel” we are THE most important person in their life at that moment. They are fully PRESENT.

“When I feel guilty over my imperfect Past or I am anxious over my uncertain Future, I do NOT live in the PRESENT. Then, I experience pain. I make myself ill. I am unhappy. My Past was the PRESENT. And my Future will be the PRESENT. The PRESENT moment is the only reality I ever experience.”

The PRESENT is what it is. It is PRECIOUS. Even if I don’t know why. It is already just the way it is supposed to be. When I see the PRESENT, accept the PRESENT, and experience the PRESENT, I am well, and I am Happy.

I wish you understanding of how to seek the learning and growing that is our life’s journey and to create a mindset of being in the PRECIOUS PRESENT.

Book Suggestion: The Precious Present by Spencer Johnson

Quote: With God’s help, I’m going to live in the PRESENT, not in the past or in the future. Only YOU have the power to make you happy.