Remembering

I must begin by apologizing for not posting last week. My computer hassles have continued and I even ended up getting hacked after clicking on something in Facebook. I am definitely not very patient when it comes to dealing with computers.

I will also apologize, from the beginning, that you might find this writing random and just a stream of consciousness. My dear, sweet aunt passed away on March 10th and her memorial service was on the 25th. Tuesdays were our days together. Tuesday, the 7th, we went to her Bible study class, she had had her hair done earlier in the day with everyone commenting on how beautiful she looked, and then we went to bingo. She loved Tuesdays. I left her with the group in memory care as it was Happy Hour, and she had her glass of red wine.

Wednesday she ended up back in the hospital, and Thursday morning I spent time with her basically just holding her hand as she slept. I remember thinking when I left that I may not see her alive again. Jon and I left for Wichita the next morning, and she died later that Friday.

Though Susan was my aunt, I always referred to her as my Colorado mom. When I came to Boulder the summer of ’74, I stayed with my aunt and uncle thinking I’d only be there for the summer. I never went back to Iowa. Susan was thrilled to have “more estrogen” around the house since she had three boys. We enjoyed many Happy Hour times of our own, lunches just the two of us, she came to baby showers for me, and helped me with my moves to different apartments.

The memorial service was extremely touching with the audience having time to share memories and reflecting on Susan’s life. There was a common theme: her kindness; her ability to only see the good in people, her encouragement to her young middle son who had dyslexia that he could be and do whatever he wanted to be and do, and she followed that up with supportive actions. Life changing for him! She was a woman of grace and elegance without special “airs.” We all agreed that she could set a table that could make the pages of Better Homes and Gardens; however, she was NOT a cook. She also had no sense of portion sizes for the appetites of her teenage sons and then later her teenage grandsons.

I’m finding Tuesdays to be a little bit more of a challenge since time with Susan is no longer on the calendar, but it’s also a day to reflect on how blessed I was to be able to first, have this special lady in my life, and second, that I could be with her as much as I did. All blessings!

My mom will be 90 in August, and she is now having more health challenges herself. After not recognizing her best friend, she ended up in the hospital a few days ago with very high blood pressure and the lack of memory. What has been discovered is a urinary tract infection that has probably been going on for at least a month. The side effects of lack of memory and the rise in her blood pressure may have stemmed from the infection.

Moving on, we are all committed to keeping Mom in her own apartment where she’s comfortable and has her usual routines especially until she is over this infection. That will mean constant supervision, and my sister is taking the lead on making sure that happens.

I share all this with you for a variety of reasons. First, is my personal need to share, but second is my desire for all of us to take a step back from what is happening in the world around us and take a close look at what's important. Life is way too short and in my humble opinion, we’re losing our focus on what life is all about.

We are witnessing such hatred towards our President, such hatred for people with differences of opinions, such hatred in Congress, such hatred in our media etc. etc. It’s all around us. Yes, I use the word hatred. The behaviors we see in adults is like watching little children on the playground who retaliate because they didn’t get their way, or the middle schooler who is using group bullying against someone who doesn’t fit in with the group. Young women are being sexually assaulted and in one situation the assault was recorded and shared on social media. 40+ people watched and DID NOTHING!

The President of the University of Northern Arizona declared that she would not designate safe zones. She explained to the students that they need to learn to have discussions about concerns, they need to learn to deal with conflict in a civil way and that safe zones were not helping them deal with reality. YES!! THANK YOU!!  It’s about time!

It saddens me to see the lack of tolerance, the lack of civility, the lack of accepting different points of view. This division is nothing new; it has been here for quite some time but it all seems to have intensified. We use to have “heated” debates but they were face to face and in the end there was still respect for one another. We use to know HOW to debate and challenge. We didn’t need “safe spaces.”

I look at what my aunt stood for and how her actions reflected her beliefs of what’s good and right in people. I look at my mom and see those same things. I look at my siblings and all they do FOR people and accept people for their positive attributes. I see the same thing in my children, my nieces and nephews and in so many other friends and family. There IS so much that is right and so many who ARE willing to listen, debate, and meet conflict head on with solutions as a goal.

“Most people are afraid to be different from everyone else. They are more comfortable following a crowd than daring to follow the lead of God’s Spirit. When we follow the example of others, we may please people, but when we step out in faith and follow God’s Spirit, we please Him…Let’s be determined to be ourselves and refuse to spend our lives feeling inferior just because we are different from someone else.”

I wish you a week of reflecting on the people in your life and how you can honor and support them now. I also wish you a week of reflecting on how you are adding value to your own life and those around you. Don't be afraid to be the unique, special person that God created you to be.