How did you do on taking five minutes each day this past week to find your WOW moments?!  I hope you were able to find those special happenings in your life and that it isn't just a week long exercise but a daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly habit!  

There is always the seed of opportunity planted in the field of discouragement and despair.  Leaders see the opportunity and HOPE, while followers see the problems.”

The definition of attitude is, “predisposition or a tendency to respond positively or negatively towards a certain idea, objection, person or situation.”  Wikipedia says, “attitude influences the person’s emotion and behavior.”

I've written about attitude in the past.  Watching the news coverage of Amy Van Dyken Rouen brings this topic to a whole new level for me.  I know there are many other people who are also dealing with severe health issues, and they too are leaders, in accordance to the definition above.  This blog focuses on Amy, although, I welcome your own stories of others who you recognize having this positive attitude. 

As a young child, Amy suffered with severe asthma throughout her childhood and even into adulthood.  Doctors suggested swimming to strengthen her lungs to cope with the condition and prevent future asthma attacks.  We didn't hear much about all the tears learning to swim, the frustrations, the challenges etc. but they were there.  Those of us in Colorado heard more about Amy as she became a competitive swimmer.  Originally going to Arizona to college, Amy transferred to CSU and from there, the world learned about her as she won a total of six gold Olympic medals in swimming. 

June 6^th of this year changed Amy’s life as she knew it.  After having dinner with her husband, Tom Rouen, former CU and Denver Bronco football player, Amy was in an ATV accident leaving her fighting for her life.  A severed spine left her paralyzed from just below the waist, and now Craig Hospital, in Denver, has become her “home” for the past several months.

Remarkably, from the beginning, Amy chose joy and from all reports she remains upbeat.  I was blown away by a quote I read early in the days she began her rehab at Craig, “Every day you take a breath is a blessing.  Sometimes we take it for granted.  You can get through anything as long as you have a positive attitude.  Once you have that negative attitude, you kind of go down that rabbit hole, and it’s really hard to get out.”  I don’t know about you, but I wrote this down as I am inspired by this young woman.  The quote is there for me to read if I ever get into my own pity party. 

At the hospital, she has learned to drive with hand controls, dress herself, pick up things off the floor and the list goes on. Yes, she’s safely driving around Denver.  J  Her goal is to get her driver’s license when she returns to Arizona. (More goal setting.) In addition, Amy talks about having gone out boating, visiting the zoo, and actually climbing into a kayak.  Really?!  Exciting and scary all at the same time from my perspective, but there is definitely a “can do” spirit that permeates her very being and comes across in her social media posts.

It hasn't all been a cake walk by any stretch of the imagination.  In fact, Amy does say she has shed a lot of tears, and it hasn't been an easy road.  When Matt Lauer from the Today Show interviewed her, she had a schedule of 8:00 in the morning until around 4:30 in the afternoon consumed with rehab.  Dedication, hard work, being supported by a team, learning new ways to do what had been an easy task before the accident are a few of the characteristics of that positive attitude Amy possesses.  There is no positive energy in complaining and pulling out the “poor pitiful me card.”  Jim Rohn says, “What you focus on expands.”  I think we can all agree that Amy has no time for the negative and focuses on all the can do’s and the gradual accomplishments.  Yet, she has been quoted as saying,  “I don’t want to portray the fact that because I had a smile on my face that it really is easy.  It’s really not.  It’s life changing.”  In talking with Matt Lauer and asked what she wanted to be able to do at the end of her time at Craig Hospital, Amy, without hesitation stated, I want to walk out of here.” 

The latest update on Amy is she is testing out special equipment, an exoskeleton, called Indego.  And guess what?!  With this equipment she IS walking.  She is going to be the test case for the Indego to get it approved by the FDA.  This young woman continues to leave me in awe, and I’m definitely inspired.  There is absolutely no reason for me to whine and complain with the trivial conflicts, disappointments, and frustrations I may have in my life and I have no reason, no excuse not to do something different with a positive attitude!  In addition, Amy has taught me through her attitude, perseverance, consistent focus and determination that victories come in many different ways and forms.  She has changed the lives of each patient at Craig as well as the doctors and support staff.  Yet she is the one that thanks the staff and other patients.  “They have really taught me a lot about the world.”  I think we will all be watching as Amy Van Dyken-Rouen becomes a new voice for spinal cord injuries.  She is well on her way to making a huge difference in so many ways and with so many people.

I have heard it said by many well-known speakers that we each have our own struggles.  The difference is how we choose to deal with them.  It’s in my observation and my personal take away that this spirited young woman, former Olympian, continues to be a competitor, and definitely WILL make an impact in her “new world.”  Thank you, Amy Van Dyken Rouen, and I wish you THE best in all that you do in your life.

What are YOUR WOW moments?

I find myself learning so much from my grandchildren.  They continue to remind me about appreciating the little things, not taking anything for granted, enjoying the moment, and showing their love in their own special way.  My perspective this week is from a grandparent’s point of view, however, it’s also true for parents.  The difference is, as a parent, I was also working full time and juggling all the demands of young children, a full time job, supporting Jon with his CU job, and all the other obligations.  I didn’t always allow myself to just stop and enjoy the moment.  Now, I can totally focus on the grandchildren.  Please indulge me with my reflections and hopefully you will be able to reflect on all your personal experiences with your children and/or grandchildren as well.

This past weekend, four of the six grandchildren were here for a short time.  Zane, 15 months, is so sweet, cuddly, and also into everything!  His curiosity and prowess to investigate the world around him also means he climbs and explores. Stairs were the newest challenge.  Challenge not for him as he has no fear, but a challenge for all the adults trying to keep tabs on him.  Putting a chair in the way of the three steps stopped him only until he saw the rest of the kids climbing around it.  Hmm…try, try, and try again.  In most everything Zane did and everything he saw, his word was, “WOW.” He saw the eight balloons in the sky Saturday morning, WOW!  He connected the sound of an airplane flying above to that small speck in the sky, WOW!  He loves strawberries and eating them brought another, WOW!  He touched one of the hens and she squawked which brought about a loud, WOW! And all these WOWs were accompanied with a huge smile. 

Bria, almost five, is the one who climbs in bed with us in the morning.  She’s awake, ready to chat and tell us all about her world.  WOW!  When she saw the balloons, her reaction was to smile, count all eight, and watch them floating – mesmerized.  WOW!  I watched the two of them and appreciated their different ways of expressing their pleasure.  WOW!  Walking down the long driveway to get the paper, holding my hand, Bria says, out of the blue, “Nana, I love you.”  And I say to myself, WOW.”  Bria loves to, as she says, be a creator.  So I get pieces of paper cut into various shapes, scotch taped together, with some drawings, just for me to keep.  WOW!  (I need to buy stock in scotch tape.)  Bria was the one wanting to feed the fish and check out the chickens with Poppa.  I captured a picture of the two of them walking back hand in hand.  WOW!   Bedtime means stories, me laying down for a few minutes with her, and the usual request to rub her back and sing the “This Old Man,” song.  WOW!  

Sophia, almost nine and in third grade, is becoming a little lady.  She’s quiet, processes things by watching everything, and is also a creator.  The first thing she did was present Bria with a bracelet she had made which was just like the necklace she had made for herself and was wearing.  WOW!  The adoring eyes of a five year old to her nine year old cousin, followed by a thank you, was a WOW moment!  The two had a great time making more creations with of course more scotch tape and LOTS of scrap pieces.  Oh well, watching the two cuddled on the same chair, working together, having fun, was WOW!  Sophia is also a caregiver.  From the birth of her brother, Ethan, who is now five, to her youngest cousin, Zane, she watches over them and tries to help.  WOW!  She will explain things to Ethan or remind him of something, and with Zane she waits for him to walk down the hill while the other two are running off. WOW! After her first week in third grade, she said she’s making new friends and is enjoying her new teacher.  New things are approached with some hesitancy and once she has it figured out, she’s all in.  WOW!  We all approach new situations differently. Hmmm…another lesson.   There’s no right or wrong way, it’s just our own way.  WOW! 

Ethan has started kindergarten. Kindergarten is a big step and Ethan is ready for the next challenge.  He admittedly is THE best expert on dinosaurs, and he’s not kidding – ask him anything.  WOW!  (He will be able to teach the class when the curriculum includes dinosaurs.)  T Rex is the favorite, but he can pronounce all of them.  Ethan, is one who mastered the no pedal bike at age three, and transitioned to a regular bike shortly thereafter.  WOW!  The high school boys at the skate/bike park were duly impressed especially when Dad told them he wasn't quite five.  WOW! I admire Ethan. He has some sensory integration difficulties. He now goes to three sessions a week, and through play, he is learning new ways to understand how his body reacts to things. WOW! He’s learning new strategies to use in a variety of situations that may be challenging now and in the future. WOW!  He goes to kindergarten in the morning, and three days a week has his time with the occupational and physical therapists.  NO labels! No Judgment!  WOW!  This sweet little boy who has had challenges is learning to explore a world in a positive and exciting new way.  WOW!  He is very smart and with all his many talents the new strategies will help propel him to an even more impactful level.  WOW! 

This spring and summer, we've been able to spend time with Teagan and Nyelle.  It’s hard to be 14 hours away, but we make sure we’re there every 6-8 weeks.  Michelle is fabulous about sending us videos and pictures of the girls so that definitely helps.  Teagan, age two (going on 16 according to her parents), is already practicing shooting hoops, getting her defensive stance, shows us her “fast feet” and wearing a whistle around her neck says, “I coach, Mommy!”  WOW!  For those of you who don’t know, Michelle played basketball at CU and currently is the head girls bb coach at the local high school. Daddy is the head football coach at Missouri Baptist.  This little one WILL have sports somewhere in her future.  What I love is she LOVES it.  WOW!  She’s like a little sponge with everything around her.  I love watching everything she tackles.  WOW!  One of Teagan’s favorite past times is putting together puzzles.  Whether they are the hands on puzzles or the ones on the IPad, she is TOTALLY focused.  The dogs may bark, Nyelle may start to cry, it doesn't matter.  Teagan is focused on a task.  WOW!  She figures out where the pieces go very quickly, 30 piece puzzles are done in only a couple minutes.  WOW!  If one isn't quite right she puts it off to the side and comes back to it later.  WOW!  Daddy has been gone a lot with his first season of being the head football coach.  Teagan decided to dress up for Daddy when he got home – her idea and her choice of outfit.  WOW!  She had on her sparkly shoes, beads around her neck, and a bow in her hair.  WOW!  Whether it be “moving the cows,” cheering Mommy’s basketball team on during a game, visiting Daddy at one of his practices, swinging at the park, going down the slide, or showing her dairy calf for the first time at the fair,  Teagan is “all in.”  WOW!

Nyelle, even at 3 ½ months brings us all such joy.  A smile begets a smile.  WOW!  Teagan can get her to laugh which gets everyone laughing.  WOW!  Each new event such as holding her head up or sitting up more on her own are all those little signs that she’s learning and growing up too.  WOW!  Nyelle goes everywhere and seems to just “go with the flow.”  WOW!

Three and a half months to nine years old, all these little ones are great examples of what life is all about.  It’s all those WOW moments!  It’s appreciating the beauty of our world, learning new things, realizing we each have our own strengths and areas to work on, communication can be as simple as a smile or a laugh, and being an expert in something is special and should be celebrated.  It’s the little things that make a difference in our day, we all approach new situations in different ways and when given the opportunity and time we will adjust, thinking about others like Sophia’s gift to Bria, helping someone up when they fall, doing something to put a smile on someone else’s face, it’s working hard, staying focused, and never giving up. 

I wish you a blessed week and many WOW moments. 

Accepting and Loving Unconditionally

Before I begin this week’s blog, I want to express my sadness and prayers of strength to the wife, children, and family of Robin Williams.  There has been an outpouring of love and reflections of a talented man who gave so much to all those around him.  He was a champion for military personnel making numerous trips to the “front” in many of our wars, he had a personal relationship with Christopher Reeves, his family, and his foundation especially after his accident, he made his way to those in the audience to shake hands and make people laugh.  And then there was the Mork and Mindy TV series, to so many of his movies; all making us laugh, cry, feel light-hearted and reflect.  What a gift he had and yet he was also a man struggling with addictions and depression.  Can we learn from this?  He wasn’t in a wheel chair, he didn’t limp, he didn’t use a cane, there were no physical disabilities that the general public could see, however, he had his own struggles. Yet, I would venture to guess, his close family and friends loved and accepted him unconditionally.

Accepting and Loving Unconditionally.    First of all, let’s get a definition of the words conditional and unconditional.  Conditional is defined as, “made or allowed on certain terms, one or more requirements needed to be met on specific terms.” The definition of unconditional, on the other hand, is “not limited by conditions or limitations.”  It’s interesting to me to hear the nightly news of our global conflicts, read American history or any country’s history for that matter, even listening to communication around us at both work and at home.  Race, religion, sexual preference, abortion, marijuana (since I’m here in Colorado I had to mention that one), political preference, male – female, economic status, and the list goes on and on.  We have our own opinions and judgment.  The question I’m contemplating this week and beyond is, Can we, individually, start accepting (or loving) unconditionally rather than judging?  If we did that, what would our world look like?

I’ve written about judgment and acceptance before.  Yes, it’s two of those traits that bears repeating yet maybe in another way.  I could take the approach that there’s nothing I can do about many of the religious conflicts currently going on, the political issues with Russia and the Ukraine, etc.  However, I choose to do what is in my control.  After all, that’s all I can do anyway, right?!  We all have our own experiences, our own opinions, our own styles, our own comfort zones, our own uniqueness.  With that brings all the reasons why we may have all the conflicts and “issues” that we have.  Yet, the one thing we all have in common is how we decide we will express and deal with those differences.  Doesn’t it come down to choice?  Back to an earlier blog, isn’t it really our need for acceptance or a need for control?  UNCONDITIONAL love and acceptance is without limitations or conditions.

In Robin Williams words from the Dead Poets Society, “words and ideas can change the world.”  For me, that’s not just a line in a movie, it’s the way our lives can be!  It IS a choice.  The choice is to interact with all those around us whether they be family, an acquaintance, or even a brief encounter.  My belief is that our God is God of the whole world.  God is loving and pulls all people in.  God shows unconditional love and acceptance, in my opinion.  So what’s our job?  First, I can accept others even if I don’t agree with them. I can support and be available.   I may not like their choices, but everyone is on a journey and if I can give acceptance and love for them in all parts of their journey that’s what’s in my control.  Can I give my opinion, suggestions, another view point?  Of course, that’s my role as a parent, spouse, and friend.  But what’s NOT my role is to convince others they’re wrong and should do something MY way. It's NOT my role to deny their feelings.   I can pray that God give THEM the strength and understanding, but I need to let go of my need for acceptance or control.  Having heard from parents with children who have addictions, they have often said they love them unconditionally, however, they do not like or support the particular behavior.  In fact, you may want to click on this link from AA:  http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/smf-121_en.pdf  Personally, this list is something to live by for all of us.  What if our words were words of hope, encouragement, we asked reflecting questions all with the purpose to “sow seeds,” that may later grow?  

We often encounter situations which don’t fit into our personal philosophy. What if we decided to live our lives accepting and loving unconditionally, which means before judging we listen, learn why something is the way it is, we give everyone room to grow and change, and/or we accept differences despite our own belief system. God has the bigger plan for each of us.  We don’t have to understand to accept and love unconditionally.  We have choices to make.  Maybe that choice is to avoid a particular person, situation, environment because it’s toxic.  It is what it is.  So, can I live with not having things my way and on my timeline?  That’s a key question.

WOW.  This turned into a blog heavier than I originally intended.  I hope you have a few things to think about from this point forward.  I wish you unconditional acceptance and love for YOURSELF and then others.

The only way love can last a lifetime is if it's unconditional. The truth is this: love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love.” 
― Stephen Kendrick, The Love Dare

Have You Heard of Synthetic Caffeine?

Happy Tuesday!  How did you do last week with your Act of Random Kindness?  I found there are so many little things we can do if we just pay attention.  It was as simple as letting the person behind me in the grocery line with two items go in front since I had a cart full, or taking a friend for his appointment as he can’t drive right now.  It doesn’t take much but the personal rewards for me were a sense of happiness, satisfaction and well-being.  I even received one of those ARK’s myself.  We were driving back from our daughter’s, stopped in Limon for Jon’s “fudge purchases”, used the restroom and left my phone.  I was washing my hands, and a young woman asked me if I had left my phone.  Yikes!  Yes, it was me and because of her kindness I had my phone back.  That sure made my day.  I hope you were able to meet the challenge and you will continue to look for ARK’s. 

An article in the Coloradoan caught my attention this week.  “Are WE Over-Caffeinated?” written by Christie Sounart.  Murray Carpenter (Psych ’85) has written a book entitled, Caffeinated – How Our Daily Habit Helps, Hurts, and Hooks Us.  Carpenter, a freelance journalist, has traveled the world to “understand everything there is to know about caffeine.  He uncovers some shocking surprises.”  After being denied entrance to the factories in China he was determined to “discover where caffeine comes from and the effects it has man-made or not, on consumers.”  Carpenter has discovered that “Americans are consuming several million pounds of synthetic caffeine a year, often from bottles or cans that fail to have information on whether or not the caffeine is natural – coming from coffee, tea or cacao plants – or synthetic.”  Really?!  I don’t know about you, but I had no idea there was synthetic caffeine.  I've been vigilant about reading labels: comparing sodium levels, sugar levels, reading ingredients, but I didn't realize caffeine can be a problem. 

In his travels, Carpenter found a “stark contrast between trying to get into the synthetic plants in China to the personal walking and tasting tours given to him by friendly owners of lush coffee bean plantations or tropical cacao groves.” He described his attempts to get permission to visit the plants in China as he wanted to see the synthetic process, however he was not given access.  “Until the FDA creates a system for inspecting overseas plants, Carpenter says it is nearly impossible to know for sure under what conditions caffeine is created.”

“Sodas, energy drinks and many of the newer caffeine products on the market use synthetic caffeine because it’s less expensive to use than natural caffeine.  Synthetic production increased during WWII when soft drinks gained popularity and coffee consumption reached its peak.  Americans were consuming 46 gallons of coffee per person a year on average.  However, coffee consumption has declined and soft drink consumption has skyrocketed.”  That seems hard to believe as there are so many coffee shops around these days.  But, according to Carpenter’s research, “Around 1950, Americans were drinking about 11 gallons of soft drinks annually, and now we’re drinking 51 gallons (per person.)  The first American synthetic caffeine factory was created in 1945 by Monsanto and pharmaceutical giant Pfizer soon followed.”

In the article, a chart shows the amount of caffeine in some of the more popular drinks that we are drinking.  Here are a few of his statistics although I have seen some different numbers, usually higher, in my Google search – but, you get the idea:

Starbucks Bold Pick of the Day, 16 oz, 330 mg

5-Hour Energy, 1.9 oz, 215 mg

Monster Drink, 16 oz, 184 mg

Mocha, 16 oz, 175 mg

Mountain Dew Kickstart, 16 oz., 92 mg

Red Bull, regular or sugar free, 8.4 oz, 75-80 mg

Pepsi Max, 12 oz, 69 mg

Twining English Breakfast Tea, 6 oz, 25 mg

Check out the full story in The Coloradoan summer 2014 issue.

One of my questions is until we can determine whether or not the caffeine is natural or synthetic, don’t we need to be careful when we consume caffeine?  Remember that many of the sodas and energy drinks we consume have caffeine levels as stated above.  BUT…our diet sodas are even heavier with caffeine amounts:

According to the Australian News: 

DIET Coke and Diet Pepsi contain far more caffeine than the regular equivalents of the drinks, an investigation by The Sunday Times has found.

Laboratory tests found that Diet Coke contained 139mg of caffeine per litre, compared to just 109mg in regular Coca-Cola.

This equates to 46mg of caffeine in a normal-sized 330ml can of Diet Coke compared to 36mg in a can of regular Coca Cola.

Diet Pepsi also had more caffeine, with 135mg per litre compared to 122mg in its regular product. 

So we have the issue of sugar in our sodas but did any of us realize that caffeine is also a huge problem? 

I bring up this issue for your “health mindset.”  Be aware for not only yourself but also your children.  I’d be interested in hearing your thoughts on this topic.