The Wikipedia definition of the word hero says, “a remarkably brave person:
somebody who commits an act of remarkable bravery or who has shown an admirable
quality such as great courage or strength of character.” On a field trip to a senior citizens home with
his first grade class, six-year-old, Carson Whisler was asked by one of the
seniors who his hero was, and the answer from Carson was not what the senior
expected. Thinking Carson would say
Super Man or maybe a pro athlete etc., he was taken by surprise when Carson
said his hero was his Grandma Betts.
That of course prompts the obvious question, “Why is that?” Carson relayed the story that his grandmother
had suffered a stroke, and she had to learn to walk and talk all over
again. That took a lot of courage and
bravery so that was why she was his hero.
“Out of the mouths of babes.” It’s fascinating to me that a six-year-old
will recognize heroic qualities in his grandmother and identify those qualities
very specifically. As adults, we often
times make things more complicated and/or cerebral. There’s nothing wrong with that. I just find the answer from this first grader
something that brought tears to my eyes and warmed my heart. What Carson saw was his grandmother working
hard, going through struggles, having setbacks, and being frustrated, yet she didn't give up. Though I don’t think Carson was able to
identify all the specifics of what he was witnessing, but he did see his
grandmother having to learn how to do things all over again.
Lynn Burianek Betts, is Jon’s younger sister. She suffered a massive stroke five years ago
and has had to redesign a new life for herself and her family. Lynn has been married to Bill Betts for
almost 40 years, has four married children, and seven grandchildren. In addition, Lynn was a speech and language pathologist
working in the Lynchburg, VA school system for over 20 years, was active in her
church, PEO group, and many other organizations. After her stroke, she found herself unable to
continue working at a job she loved and needing to retire early. That was not the original plan. Now, instead of an independent and fully
functioning wife, mother, grandmother, and teacher, Lynn found herself
requiring constant care, unable to drive, and in general missing her
independence. She was now spending her
days at rehab working to regain the basic physical skills she had lost –
including walking and sitting upright.
Fortunately, Lynn still had the ability to talk and communicate verbally
as she is a very verbal person. J
“A stroke is an earthquake that shatters routines and
relationships. Lynn says that her husband
went from a loving equal to being her caregiver. Her career came to an abrupt
end. She could no longer hold her
grandchildren for fear of dropping them,” reported Sujata Gupta in her article
“Ups and Downs.” Five years later, Lynn
needs assistance in most areas of her life, has moved from Lynchburg, VA to
Durham NC to be closer to her oldest daughter, Aubrey, and is acclimating to a
new area. In true Lynn form, after some
encouragement from her family, has become involved once again in her church,
and in a PEO group, she has experienced the addition of two more grandchildren,
and witnessed the marriage of her son, Weston.
The article Sujata Gupta wrote, “Ups and downs,” can be
read in its entirety in the June 2014 issue of Nature. It was well
written, and a huge eye opener for me. I
remember sending Lynn notes about keeping up a positive attitude, and she was a
strong person bringing value and happiness to those around her etc. What I didn't know is all that surrounds stroke victims. “Strokes can shatter a
person’s identity and make it difficult to find the light.” Lynn confesses, in the article, to
admonishing herself when she felt like crying…’Why do I feel down in the
dumps? I've got my second chance to
live. I've got my loving family. My church, my friends.” She even admitted to her minister at one of
his visits that she “felt like her soul died with her stroke.” This article investigates and describes
research surrounding the issue of depression that is prevalent in stroke
victims. “Despite all the research, the
attitude persists that people who have had a stroke should be able to simply
power through their depression, however, left unchecked, depression makes it
harder for patients to face the rigors of rehabilitation or to stay connected
to loved ones.” In the recuperation
process, Lynn was automatically allocated speech, occupational and physical
therapy, however she had to ask to see a mental-health therapist.” What we’re now paying closer attention to is
“antidepressants really do protect against depression and enhance motor
recovery.” But as Lynn also states,
“just a pill doesn't cut it, although she is grateful for the antidepressant,
which she continues to take.”
In the conclusion of the article, and with Lynn
reflecting back over the five years, she states that she can now “speak more
positively about the experience that has left her unable to walk unaided. She now has time, she says, to just ‘sit and
listen to my grandchildren.” As this
article was coming out, Lynn emailed her children and other family members with
a link to the article. In her email,s
she states, “I would rather be remembered as being resilient following my stroke, rather than ‘depressed.’ Although
there was a grieving period that I went through, I like to think that I have
moved on to a more positive response to my life change.”
Lynn is resilient! She is also loving, tenacious, never gives
up, is supportive of all those around her, and yes, like Carson, she is my hero!
No comments:
Post a Comment