LABELS

Last week, I wished you a week of reflection on what you can do to remember the images and remember the message of what coming together looks and sounds like EACH AND EVERY DAY!

I will preface this week’s blog with the recognition that these are my thoughts and my opinions. You may or may not agree with me and that’s ok. That’s my point. Can we read, listen to, and have conversations on topics where we may have some common agreements but also disagreements?

I’d like to explore further what I feel is happening all around us - that is labeling. My first question to myself is, “How do I choose who I want to surround myself with whether it be on my business team, socially, who do I follow on FB and even Twitter etc.? Have you ever put any time into asking yourself that same question?

For me, it boils down to who is a person of integrity, who has a positive and uplifting spirit and is a pleasure to be around? Who do I observe treating others with respect and dignity? Who am I able to have a serious conversation with and not just talking about the weather? Who can I have disagreements with, explore our differences, and come away with a sense of understanding not necessarily agreeing. Who asks questions and is not manipulating conversations with it being all about them? Who can I learn from? Who is learning and growing and excited about new things? Who is a person who embraces the concept of being the best they can be in all areas of their life?

I’ve taken time to think about the above characteristics. NO WHERE in my personal list do I EVER think about the color of a person’s skin, their political affiliation, their religious background, their financial status, or their sexual orientation. EVER!

When I look at individuals in my life and in my life with Jon, there are people of all colors, all religions, all sexual orientations, and all political affiliations. We are friends with people who have different racial backgrounds than us, we have friends who are in a mixed marriage, we have friends who are married to someone of the same sex, we have friends who are of a different religious background.

I have purposefully blocked people on my Twitter page who are only negative and condescending, I have hidden Facebook with negative entries; usually dealing with their political agenda. My mindset is not to entertain the negative, toxic tirades that have no substance other than to berate someone or something. There is NO place in my life for this!

I am tired and frustrated with listening to the young people who are not informed. Labeling is running rampant! Racist, white supremacist, violence when speakers come to campuses with a different perspective, name calling has become outlandish, and shouting down other’s right to talk in townhalls is becoming the norm. SAD!

Martin Luther King’s message in his “I Have a Dream” speech was one of peaceful protest and he said, “I have a dream that little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” Instead of inclusion, we seem to be moving to separatism. SAD!

Evergreen State in the state of Washington, a public institution, berated a professor who refused to participate in a no-white day of absence. The professor was called racist and the students wanted him fired. Nonwhites wanted a day to “just be.” Go to the Youtube video to see the interactions between the professor and other administrators. SAD!

Antifa is a militant political movement that uses violent tactics to counter speech they disagree with. They are usually dressed head to toe in black, wear masks so their identity is hidden, they damage property by breaking windows and throwing Molotov cocktails. They state that they do not see property damage as violence. SAD!

Mike Isaccson, professor at John Jay College, an active Antifa member, was on Tucker Carlson last week. Tucker stated that this professor was “blurring the lines between physical violence and speech which he disagrees with.” The professor felt justified that when there was speech that went against his beliefs that the speech should be shut down at all costs. He had previously tweeted, “It is a privilege to teach future dead cops.” SAD! (He has since been fired.)

Hobby Lobby has been brought to task and called racist for selling faux raw cotton stalks — which a woman in Texas found offensive. SAD!

It seems to me that if we disagree with someone we are now quick to label. Our labels are too often racist or white supremacist. I would encourage you to listen to Youtube videos with Larry Elder, a black author and radio host. He specifically addresses these terms.

We have moved into an extreme political and even social arena where it’s ok to denigrate without real facts only personal opinions, we’re into “protecting” our way too sensitive young people from hearing a different point of view to the extent counseling, or a safe space is offered, and we can’t watch a sporting event etc. without being bombarded with personal political opinions.

Where is any kind of discourse without labeling and name calling? Where is there any kind of peaceful protesting without having groups like Antifa there to violently shut down speech that they disagree with?

I choose to surround myself with the types of people with the characteristics l listed earlier. I also choose to hear different perspectives and learn from others. I choose to not enable but to empower. I choose to empower with first understanding situations myself and then being able to have conversations with others in a respectful way. What do you choose?

I wish you a week of self-reflection. I also hope you take the time to watch Larry Elder in this video as he will give you much food for thought:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piwaBO6U43U  

Planning and organization Part 2

Martin Luther King is the epitome of someone with a purpose, he had a BIG PICTURE, and he definitely had priorities.  What he began as the pursuit of civil rights through non-violence has been challenged and “put to the test” over the years.  Progress has been made but not near enough.  Now, more than maybe any other time in recent history; with the violence in Ferguson, MO, today is a day to examine our personal beliefs with more authenticity.  I hope yesterday didn't pass without you taking time to reflect on what the day represents and what each of us can do to move forward so ALL people feel valued, respected, and heard.

From last week’s blog, how did you do with your own reflection on YOUR Big PICTURE?  What priorities did you decide you want to continue, rework, or even new ones you want to establish?  You may have chosen just the area of work or home which is great for a start.  (You will also want to examine the areas of finances, your spiritual health as well as your physical health as you move ahead.)

The BIG PICTURE is the key to a strong “foundation” of what we want to accomplish which then leads to prioritizing our focus and activities.  Yet no matter how hard WE are working on those priorities, we also need to be flexible without losing site of our overall goal.  As my daughter reflected on last week, she had HER priorities of what needed to get accomplished, however, there were other demands on her time outside of her control.  Customers needed to talk, loan committee took more time, there were drop in requests, last minute needs from others which caused her priorities to stack up.  She focused on customer service which is a key priority and the "right thing" to do.  Consequently, she worked on her day off. Working on a day off, ideal?  No.  Necessary, yes.  Once again we are in charge of our priorities and actions on a continual basis.  It’s a CHOICE.   Keep in mind, we must always be flexible to various situations that pull us away.  The key, however, is not to lose sight of that BIG PICTURE and our priorities.  Don’t be too hard on yourself if you too have to make adjustments.  Just don’t allow that occasional situation to continue when you can get back on track. 

Planning and organization are the two areas we began with when talking about how the holidays went this past year.  In my humble opinion, that period of time is usually a reflection on how we do throughout the entire year.  For me, I can say I’m usually pretty good at planning and am always looking for better ways to do something or to organize my life.  For me, the key is to get things on my calendar first, then I can “back into” what needs to be done. Having a deadline even if it's self imposed keeps us accountable.  It’s a strategy.  You may have a different way which as long as it accomplishes your priorities then it’s working.  I learned this approach many years ago through a high school study skills class.   Planning and organization do not come naturally for most people - it is a life skill that needs to be modeled, taught, and practiced like any other skill.

When I was first teaching, I made many assumptions that my students knew how to plan and organize.  It wasn't until my own children were having difficulty getting a handle on their long term assignments, that I began to rethink how I was dealing with teaching the skills of planning and organization.  My first change was to have all the students use planners (calendars), write  in the due dates with reminders along the way.  (Fifth grade is the first year where assignments may be over a week rather than just overnight.)  So why did I continue to have many late assignments?  My “ah ha” moment was to realize there is a lot of time between the start and end of a project or assignment.  Once I began to teach the students how to break things down into smaller steps to reach the end goal, I began to see more success. That meant together we brainstormed all the steps it would take to complete a task, then we “backed into” when those tasks needed to be done.  I modeled this step by writing in my planner, and they did the same in theirs.  Did everyone have success? No, but there were far less late and/or incomplete assignments hence less stress and frustration on the part of the students AND their parents.  For those still struggling, we collaborated to find a strategy that worked for their particular learning style and needs.

What’s my point?  Planning and organization are skills that we may not have been taught or modeled, but they are skills that can be learned.  That means there has to be a BIG PICTURE of wanting to have less stress, less last minute running around, less frustration, less conflicts with others etc.   When something is  a priority it needs to have action behind it, but we often don't know where to begin.  So the first action might be to ask others in your same position how they plan and organize tasks, gather ideas and strategies from other sources like Pinterest, purchase the right tools (aka a calendar for 2015), ask for suggestions on a social media site, take a class etc. etc.  If you truly want to do things differently you can!

BIG PICTURE – PRIORITIZE – STRATEGIES TO ACCOMPLISH THE PRIORITY – TAKE ACTION.

Some of you will read this and think, “I’m already organized,” to which I say a resounding, “GREAT!!”  Maybe this is an area of strength for you, so be sure to help your children, co-workers, spouse, or others who seem to have difficulty.  My philosophy has always been to learn from those who I admire and who are skilled in an area I need help.  If planning and organization is an area needing attention it won’t change until you do give it attention by making it a priority.  My life as a teacher, a wife, a mother of two children with many areas to juggle demanded planning and organization with little “wiggle room.”  I continue to have planning and organizational needs even now.  It definitely “looks different” with fewer deadlines but still necessary. Life can be quite demanding especially when we’re juggling work, home, children, activities of each family member, church, times with family and friends etc.  The more we can prepare and be organized with fewer last minute tasks the more we can enjoy each day and the times we have both at home and at work. 

Make the next four weeks a priority to plan and organize the events, activities, and even the mundane tasks such as watering plants.  Use a calendar of some sort, prioritize what needs to be done and when, and see how life can become more manageable with less stress.  You will be thrilled with how much more you’re able to accomplish.  New habits take a minimum of 21 consecutive days to become established.  If you've fallen out of sync, get back on track, and if you’re a pro help someone else.  I would love to hear other’s suggestions of what they do to be well planned and organized.

Have a fabulous week of planning and organizing.  It comes down to mindset.  YOU CAN DO THIS!