Never Quit - Another Story

As I wrote in an earlier blog, my niece Jessica is now in her first few weeks of medical school. She is the one who took the MCAT tests three times, was told over and over that she should reframe her goals and go to PA school etc. Despite the naysayers, she is now living her dream. She never quit!

I love the stories of people who have a goal and pursue that goal no matter what it takes. The desire is there, the WHY is strong, and despite all the struggles the goal never changes!

Would you be willing to put your desire to lose 150 pounds out on social media? Would you be willing to document your struggles with details, pictures, and videos? Would you stay committed despite a journey that might take a year?

Guy Danhoff, a professor at Missouri Baptist University in St. Louis is doing just that. Because of a love of football and being a former player himself, Guy has been helping the football program with interviews, coach’s shows, and even using his sports media class to apply lessons in the class to real world experience. He was a football player himself in college, a rock band guitar player, is currently a professor at MBU, a digital marketing consultant, now in his 40’s, married, and with three daughters. He is extremely talented and works hard in all he does.

In his words, he’s struggled with his weight for quite some time. Now he’s working hard on getting himself healthy.

I don’t know Guy well, but because of his connection with MBU football where our son, Jason, is the head coach, I have enjoyed watching him and more importantly catching his Facebook posts. This is where I’ve seen him make a commitment to his health.

D1 Training St. Louis West is a new gym in the St. Louis area with a wonderful message of mind and body working hand in hand to make a difference in their clients’ lives. Guy has made a commitment to working out at D1 Training and changing his lifestyle with his ultimate goal to lose 150 pounds. He documents his workouts, how he’s changing his eating habits through the help of a company that delivers meals, and he posts pictures of his youngest daughter who is his WHY.

24 pounds lost in 29 days, new mindset of working out and eating correctly with a good program, being more active, and most of all being consistent with each aspect of his new routine.

For me, Guy is teaching each of us that there are specific steps to success. Making a commitment to a dream and never giving up is a critical first step. Small steps and setting attainable goals keeps your action moving forward. Do whatever it takes to achieve the goals. No excuses allowed. Have a support system, seek advice from professionals, and understand that this is a journey, and it will take time. Your WHY must be strong enough to get through the tougher and more discouraging days. Document the journey whether it’s written, photos, videos on the good days and the bad as they will be your story to tell later. The documentation will be a great reminder of how far you’ve come when you reach your goal. The recorded history is a reminder that you are strong and can do anything you set your mind to.

Jess worked through a learning disability, going back for a second degree, taking the MCAT’s three times, and so much more. Yet, she is now starting medical school! Guy has just started his journey, yet he is setting himself up for success and his WHY is guiding him each day.

What about you? What are you wanting to change in your life and what are you willing to do to make that change happen? Are you willing to do whatever it takes to improve your life in a specific area? Are you willing to change? Are you willing to be uncomfortable? Are you willing to take the time no matter how long it takes to get the results you want? Are you willing to put action behind your words? Are you committed enough that no matter what you will NEVER quit?

Here’s to a week of reflection.

Book Suggestion: Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin

Quote: “We all fight battles and face the temptation to stop fighting and just give up, but commitment is the thing that enables us to resist that temptation. When you are fiercely committed to God’s purpose for your life, you will begin to experience all that He has for you.”

Everybody Somebody Anybody Nobody

July 14^th was an interesting read from The Power of Being Thankful book. Wishing for something doesn’t produce the results we desire.

“I once heard a story about four people called Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done, and Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. In the end, Everybody blames Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.”

“The moral of the story is simple: If you see that something needs to be done and you have the ability to do it, be thankful for the opportunity that God has given you and go be the change that everybody else is waiting for.”

I keep reading this over and over. It’s extremely powerful when you put these words into various situations. Think of something that you have been a part of recently that ended badly or something that could have had a much better outcome. Did you have an opportunity to be a change agent?

What gets in the way for Everybody or Somebody to take action? The list is endless. Situations vary as to why people are not willing to take action. It may be an intimidating boss, it may be fear of loss of a job, fear of loss of friends, fear of loss of income etc. It may be a lack of self confidence and the feeling that others won’t listen.

It’s complicated and because human being are involved, there are many excuses and rationalization. We get caught up in our own story, our own life experiences, our own unwillingness to see things through a different set of eyes. Our tendency is to take the “safe” route, not rock the boat, not bring attention to ourselves, not challenge those in authoritative positions.

How is it then that we can learn to solve problems in a collaborative way with an effective outcome? First and foremost, it’s ALL up to YOU as to what is in YOUR control. You can not control anyone else. You CAN control whether you go back to old ways of blaming, complaining, and defending your actions which are nonresourceful OR you find a path that will move things forward in a positive, respectful way. YOU can “pick your battles” and decide which is worth your time and focus. YOU are in control where and when you confront/challenge something.

Ultimately, it comes down to how confident you are in yourself to make a difference in your own world. Are you ready to learn new strategies, learn new information, learn new ways to do something? Are you open to learning and growing in ALL areas of your life? Are you willing to change, be coachable, handle feedback from a respected and skilled mentor?

If you are ready to enhance your life, if you’re willing to get out of your comfort zone to learn and grow, you can avoid more often than not situations where “Everybody blames Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.” You CAN be a change agent!

Book Suggestion: 12 Pillars by Chris Widener

Quote: Unless you try doing something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow. “ Ralph Waldo Emerson

CONFIDENCE

Why is it we see everyone else “perfect,” and we only see our own faults and shortcomings?

We think everyone else has it all together without any challenges in their life. We see ourselves, on the other hand, in such a critical light. Why don’t we have the relationship we think others have? Why can’t we lose weight? Why can’t we have the same financial freedom? The list goes on and on.

Instead of looking at all we DO have, we look at all that we want/don’t have. COMPARING others to ourselves is “deadly.” We are making comparisons NOT based on any actual facts, only what we “think” are the facts. It really comes down to our personal level of confidence or self-esteem.

Rather than spending time identifying our own assets, our own gratitude’s, we allow our focus to be on what we WISH we had. Personally, I think reality shows and shows like The Bachelor or the Bachelorette paint an unrealistic picture of life.

Are there any benefits of comparing ourselves to others? The only thing I can think of is seeing things in a different way that would motivate me to make a change. There are many stories of people who have come from unhealthy and unsafe environments who strive to get out and not follow the same path as other family or friends. We hear stories of men and women, both, who don’t respect themselves enough to think they deserve better allowing themselves to be in unhealthy relationships. We hear stories of young people who are in poorly run schools that want a better education and find a way to get to a better school for a better education. These are good reasons to compare ourselves to others.

What’s the common theme for those who have overcome difficulties?  Well-known leaders in personal development say, “If you want something different in your life, you have to DO something different.” That means CHANGE. These stories all reflect a willingness to change and they took ACTION to change. The other common theme is that these people have confidence and enough self-esteem to believe that they DO deserve better, and they take ACTION. The big question is…Are you living the life that God meant you to live and if not, why not?

Take a minute and think about this. Are you taking care of yourself physically? Are you taking care of yourself emotionally? Are you taking care of your finances? Are you taking care of your relationships with a significant other? Are you taking care of your spiritual life?

When you answer these questions are you thinking about YOU or are you looking at what you wish was the case? Are you being honest with yourself or are you avoiding something because it’s too painful or it seems to be unfixable or it seems to be unattainable?

In The Power of Being Thankful book, I read the daily entry and I re-read several entries from previous days because the message is one I need to read continuously as a reminder. I want to share one of these in hopes it can help you take a step forward to becoming the best YOU that YOU can be…

April 2^nd  Living with Confidence  “A person without confidence is like an airplane sitting on a runway with empty fuel tanks. The plane has the ability to fly, but without some fuel, it’s not getting off the tarmac. Confidence is our fuel. Our confidence gets us started and helps us finish every challenge we tackle in life. Without confidence we will live in fear and never feel fulfilled. Confidence allows us to face life with boldness, openness, and honesty. It enables us to live without worry and to feel safe. It enables us to live authentically. “

“When we know who we are in God, we don’t have to pretend to be somebody we’re not because we are secure in who we are---even if we’re different from those around us. Confidence allows us to live peaceful, joy-filled lives.”

Two final questions. One, if you’re not seeing yourself in a confident way, what are you going to do to change that? What ACTION are you willing to take? Second, is your lack of confidence/self-esteem because you compare yourself to others and don’t really know all YOUR own incredible talents and assets? What ACTION are you willing to take to make a change?

Book Suggestion: The Power of Being Thankful by Joyce Meyer

Quote:  “Work on being in love with the person in the mirror who has been through so much but is still standing.”