Thanksgiving Blessings

What is in your control TODAY, TOMORROW, and in the future to make a difference? That was my question to you last week.  What did you decide to take action on NOW?

As a reminder…Let’s NOT be guilty of doing kind things only over the holidays, or only for a short time. Let’s commit to KINDNESS without judgment and blame each and EVERY day. Let’s commit to this daily life mindset.  THEN we can truly make a change for generations to come.

Thank you to all of you who have taken the time to respond to my blog last week, in particular. My life goal is for you to stop and think about YOUR life. I don’t pretend to have all the answers as I am finding my own truth along life’s journey as well. I hope to bring ideas to the forefront and let YOU decide what works and what doesn’t work for YOU. I hope for you to become consciously conscious of each decision whether it’s business or personal, each interaction, each relationship, each friendship, and each action that you take. I hope that in this journey you also learn to apologize for a fit of anger, you take responsibility for things you did that hurt someone else, that you leave behind blame and judgement, and that you learn to forgive yourself. My hope is also for those of you in your 20’s and 30’s to step up and commit to continuously learning and growing and for those of us in our 60’s and 70’s to not be stagnant and think we can’t continue to learn and grow and yes, even CHANGE.

As the holiday season winds up with Thanksgiving only two days away, let’s remember WHY we have this holiday in the first place. Originally, it was a day set aside to remember and give thanks to God for what He had done in protecting the first men and women who came to America, fleeing religious persecution in Europe. It was a type of harvest celebration like the one that the Jews celebrated; a day to give thanks for the crops they were able to harvest. In my opinion, this may be one day on the calendar; however, our gratitude needs to be on a daily basis.

Let’s step out of our usual routine and maybe even our comfort zone a little this year. The reality is there are many hungry children, many families needing help with food on a daily basis let alone a feast for Thanksgiving. Feeling guilty for what we do have isn’t a resourceful feeling nor does it do anything to make a difference. My challenge is to do something that WILL make a difference.

 

It’s the little things…As you go to the grocery store to get what you need for YOUR Thanksgiving dinner, why not add a Bag Hunger grocery bag for a family to also have something on their table. Contribute to your local food bank with time or money, serve at a church supper for the homeless, maybe it’s including a student who’s not able to get home for this holiday, a single person, an elderly neighbor, or a young family without relatives close by to join you and your family for dinner. Look around you. What ACTIONS can you take to make a difference in someone else’s life?

In the book, Power of Being Thankful, by Joyce Meyer, the entry for November 26^th is titled, “Changing the World Around You.” Very appropriate for these times, right?! “One of the best ways to get your mind off a problem or a troubling situation is to go help someone else. When you display love to others, it not only blesses you, but it changes the world around you. Those are two great reasons to start living in love.” Sometimes love is just being friendly and compassionate.

“We’ve tried selfishness, discouragement, blame, judgement, self-pity etc.. Those are all non-resourceful and definitely DO NOT work! We’ve seen the horrific catastrophe of the Russian plane being bombed, the Paris attacks, and even the daily shootings in our own cities. The world has seen the results of these situations.

There is a better way to live our lives than focusing on problems. Choose TODAY to be an agent of change in your part of this world.

I wish you a special day of gratitude and blessings this Thanksgiving season! I also wish my husband, Happy 39^th Anniversary, as it happens to be on Thanksgiving this year. YOU are MY blessing and someone I am eternally grateful for having in my life.

Pray for Paris

Earlier, I wrote my blog for today and had it ready to go out this morning. However, in between that time, we were all confronted with the terrible tragedy in Paris. Therefore, this week I have written from my heart and how I’m feeling about the horrific attacks in Paris.

I will tell you, ahead of time, that my thoughts are my thoughts. They may offend some of you, however, hopefully what will happen is for you to look deep into your heart and see what it is that you believe and if your actions are reflecting your beliefs. If they are beliefs of hate, focusing on differences etc., I would encourage you to rethink those beliefs as they are NOT making a positive difference in the people around you or on this world in general. If they are beliefs of acceptance of all differences without judgment and your actions are actions of kindness, than I celebrate you and encourage you to continue.

Let me also say before continuing, that I have often times been accused of being a Pollyanna, a “goody two shoes,” and “Miss Positive.” I’m no longer going to be apologetic for being this way. But what I will be adamant about is that my positive approach DOES NOT mean I don’t have negative thoughts, it DOES NOT mean I don’t have fears, and it DOES NOT mean I ignore hatred and lack of respect for all lives. However, I CHOOSE to NOT be a part of it. I CHOOSE to make a positive difference in the lives of my spouse, my children, my grandchildren, my friends, my coworkers, and those I meet going through my daily routine.

My thoughts and my heart go out to all the people of Paris and around the world who had loved ones, friends, colleagues etc. massacred. My thoughts and heart go out to all the survivors who endured this horrific attack and are alive to see another day yet have stories and images which may never go away. This pain and grief is unimaginable to me. We are all in shock and disbelief. 

These were INNOCENT men, women, and children who were out on a Friday night planning to have an enjoyable dinner, celebrate a birthday, have a fun time dancing and listening to a concert etc. Instead they were gunned down without any regard to human life. And to realize this was PLANNED. It was calculated and PLANNED!

The world can be a scary place especially now. We all want to feel safe; however, tragedies like this make us question what we do and where we go. With further threats on Washington DC and the lack of morality or respect for life of any human being that doesn’t agree with the extremists, it is difficult to smile, it’s difficult not to only focus on the bad. I caught myself feeling anxious as we waited at the Denver airport on Friday getting ready to fly to St. Louis. Would WE be safe flying? Would WE encounter problems at the airport when we arrived?

It’s times like this that we realize how fragile life truly is. Despite the brief moments of anxiousness, I also felt a resolve NOT to be caught up in the negativity and the fear. That is not to say, I’m ignoring the reality that this is a grave time for the entire world. However, what I CHOOSE to focus on is that there is far more GOOD than bad. I CHOOSE to focus on tapping into the good and love that exists in all of us, and I choose to focus on DESTROYING this hate. I refuse to understand the belief system that killing is the way to their god. My God is a loving, compassionate God who embraces diversity.

I challenge all of us to find a way we can individually tap into the GOOD that is around us and NOT the fears. It starts with waking up each day giving thanks that we have another day on this earth, that may mean telling those we love that they are loved and important in our lives, that may mean not getting caught up in the trivia such as what cups Starbucks is using to serve their coffee, that may mean rather than listening to 8 hours of CNN, Fox etc which can only leave us with a negative, depressed mood, but rather hear enough to get information and then turn around and do something POSITIVE to counteract all this fear and violence.

Right now as you are reading this decide what YOU can control. There are those living in hate because of what happened generations ago but it’s not their personal reality, there are people who are pointing the finger blaming others. I would say that’s all #$#. Let’s STOP the blame, let’s STOP the finger pointing, let’s take ACTION that will change not only our own life but the lives of those around us. We CAN make a difference in our own little part of this world. 

Be KIND because none of us know what struggles others are living with in their lives. They may have a relationship with someone in Paris who was killed, is a survivor, or who lives in Paris. They may be living in a home of domestic abuse, alcoholism, other addictions, or they are homeless. That person you are rude to today or that person you cut off in traffic because they’re going too slow may be someone dealing with a life threatening illness, or they just lost their job right before the holidays. That person may be struggling with an autistic child or a failing marriage. YOU NEVER KNOW SOMEONE ELSE’S STRUGGLE.  

Life is fragile. It’s a gift as are ALL the people around you. There were people in the midst of the massacre who opened their homes to the wounded; a man took action to help the pregnant woman dangling from the window bringing her to safety, others took off their shirts to stop the bleeding of a stranger etc. etc etc. There are many more GOOD people in this world than bad. Did you also pay attention to the fact that after this horrific tragedy, there was NOT looting of the businesses in the streets of Paris, there were not fires intentionally set? There were instead flowers placed near the sites of the shootings and bombs, people were arm in arm singing songs of peace and the French anthem, there were signs of being strong.

What is in your control TODAY, TOMORROW, and in the future to make a difference? Let’s NOT be guilty of doing kind things only over the holidays, or only for a short time. Let’s commit to KINDNESS without judgment and blame EVERY day. Let’s commit to this daily life mindset.  THEN we can truly make a change for generations to come.

Good triumphs evil. Love conquers hate.

I wish you a week of reflection and ACTION.

It's the Little Things

Did you make time to reflect on Solomon’s words, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life?” In my time of reflection this past week, I am even more conscious of the “voices” in my head and how my heart “feels.” How much more powerful can we be as a human being if we can pay close attention to all our thoughts and feelings?

Sitting down and writing my thoughts for this week’s blog, I find my heart full and definitely reflecting back over the past four days. Tears of joy, pride, and love fill my eyes even now. Starting Wednesday, we picked up Jon’s sister, Lynn, at the airport and later that evening we had dinner with Lynn as well as Penny and Ray. The five of us don’t always get a chance to sit and talk, but we took advantage of this quiet time together. They were coming to help be a part of the celebration.

We had an incredible time continuing to welcome our family on Thursday all of whom came to help Jon celebrate. This was the night of the University of Colorado Athletics Hall of Fame induction ceremony, and Jon was one of 11 inductees. Jason, his wife, Michelle, and 3 year old Teagan flew in from St. Louis for just the Induction Ceremony. The three of them had an early Friday morning flight back since Jason had his football game on Saturday. Elsa drove the five and a half hours with her two children, and Garet flew in later in the afternoon as he had meetings in Oklahoma. My sister drove eight and a half hours with my mom from Wichita, and my brother, Jim, with his wife Becky also flew in for the celebration. Amanda, Rob, and our other two grandchildren came from Highlands Ranch as well as other relatives who live here in Colorado. We were surrounded by family – it’s the little things that made this weekend one to cherish.

Jon was inducted with 11 others making a total of 79 people who have been inducted into this Hall of Fame. All but three are either coaches or athletes. Fred Cassotti and Larry Zimmer are the only other two, besides Jon, who were administrators or media. The speech Jon gave centered on three themes that he tried to live by: one, he wouldn’t have had a job at all if it weren’t for the student athletes, two, he got paid to do what others paid to do, and three, surround yourself with good people. Since the call from Athletic Director Rick George several months ago telling him that he had been inducted into CU’s Hall of Fame, Jon has been humbled, amazed, and in awe of this great honor.

From the beginning of formulating his speech it was always about the people. Mark McIntosh in his weekly Pep Talk writing referenced Jon and his speech. “In the induction speech Jon thanked others and in the lofty moment of individual achievement, a man stayed focused on gratitude towards others.” Mark went on the say that we all should “never grow weary of doing good for others…it’s a powerful example to the truth that if we embrace such a philosophy, nobody reaps the harvest more than us.” AMEN!  To a person, Jon was told time and time again how powerful his message was and how heartfelt it was. They commented on how much they appreciated that he was always a man of integrity, honesty, and worked tirelessly behind the scenes himself for the betterment of the student athletes, coaches, and the entire athletic department. It’s the little things.

At the end of the speech, Jon asked anyone who had ever worked for or with him including part time and student employees to stand and be recognized. I can’t even describe the tears of pride I had as I looked around and saw so many familiar faces with SMILES on THEIR faces. It’s the little things.

In all my 40 years of knowing this man and 39 years of marriage, he has never wavered from who he is, what he believes in, and that he walks his talk. He has such a deep love of the Colorado Buffaloes that “bleeding black and gold” is not far from the truth. I remember Ceal Barry, women’s basketball coach for 20+ years and now administrator, saying numerous times, that she didn’t always like what Jon told her about budgets etc., but she knew he was always giving it to her straight. This past weekend, her reflections of her time working with Jon on the administrative side is how it was all about people. It was a close knit family environment. Though that word “family” is used quite often it was definitely a family. It’s the little things.

Jon was always an advocate for the staff that worked LONG hours behind the scenes, those that were on the front line selling tickets or answering the phone calls from disgruntled fans. During some of the darkest times for the department, Jon and his ticket/business office staff went around every Tuesday to other departments to cheer them up. He was also the guy on Friday home football games out with the crew putting up the gates. He felt that if he helped they wouldn’t have to stay quite as late. Jean Onaga, long time secretary in the football office, always remembers how it was Jon who got the secretaries on one away football game each year as a thank you for their work “behind the scenes.” It’s the little things.

Throughout the weekend, there were people coming up sharing stories of how Jon had helped them when they lost their tickets and needed a duplicate, they had stories of situations that happened years ago but were still in their memory. They remembered Jon as someone who took the time to help, or listen to a problem, someone who never needed the personal recognition, title, or attention. That was NOT who he was. So the fact that the induction speech was all about others is not out of character. It is who Jon is and his hope has always been that others will carry on the legacy of serving others, especially supporting those behind the scenes, for the betterment of all. It’s the little things.

I look at our children as young adults with their own careers, being a spouse and a parent, and building a strong foundation in all areas of their lives. Their words and their actions reflect the same mindset as their dad. It’s the little things that make a difference in the lives of the people around them, and now they are the ones showing others that it really is about the little things. They were a part of the athletic department from birth. They watched their dad on game days, at bowl games, tournaments, and in just the everyday running of the department. That legacy of serving others, remembering the ones that work tirelessly behind the scenes, and making a difference for the betterment of the whole is being carried on through our children.

It’s the little things.  Isn’t that what we remember most of all?  Isn’t it the kind word, the listening ear, the note of thanks and appreciation, the rolling up our sleeves and helping out when necessary, and having the focus on making a difference for someone else?  Isn’t it the attitude and mindset of Inclusive versus Exclusive? It’s NOT about power, control, and titles. It’s NOT about what am I going to get in return. It is truly about being a part of a team, a family, a community. It’s truly about doing the best we can do whether it be at our job, with our spouse, with our children/grandchildren, friends, neighbors, and those we meet.  It’s the little things.

As a last story of this weekend, a former track athlete and now track coach commented to Jon that he was always there with a smile and ready to help in whatever way he could. Jon’s response was he realized that he actually was lazy. (If you know Jon at all, you know that the word “lazy” isn’t in his vocabulary.) And then, with a smile, he told the young man that he had learned a long time ago that it took more muscles to frown than it did to smile so he decided it was better to smile.  It’s the little things.

After all the activities of the weekend have ended and people have gone home, Jon has continued to remain humble, honored, and in awe of this prestigious award. What he continuously shares with me is that he never saw himself the way people see him. He never thought his speech would touch so many. He never knew that some of the little things he had done along the way, things he did naturally, had meant so much to people.

  

Here’s to a week of reflection on what little things we can each do to make it a great day for someone else.

I would carry this one step further and have you begin to think about the holidays. What are the little things that will leave lasting memories? No one will remember a year from now whether the turkey was dry or the number of gifts they received. I would suggest, however, that a special, meaningful note, or a heartfelt thank you will be tucked away to be reread many times, or the gift with special significance will have a special “home.”

As always, I look forward to reading your thoughts and comments.

Guard Your Heart

What self-education did you commit to last week?  Are you listening to educational CD’s in your car? Have your purchased the book The Twelve Pillars or something else to begin reading?  What was your action plan?

A follow up to The Twelve Pillars is the book Above All Else by Chris Widener. After learning the twelve pillars and taking action, the main character, Michael, is now 72 years old as this book begins. Once again in an easy to read story format, Michael shares with his 18 year old grandson, who is working on his senior project, his life story.  In this story are life lessons for Josh, the grandson, and for ALL of us. Some of you are still learning and acting on the twelve pillars.  FANTASTIC! Some of you are now ready to take it to another level. That is where you’ll find, in my humble opinion, the book Above All Else to be the catalyst that you need.

“The single most important lesson for achieving, sustaining, and enjoying success comes from the richest man to ever live. His name is Solomon. The story goes that God gave him the choice of wealth or wisdom, and he chose wisdom.  Because of that choice, God gave him both.”  As the book goes on, Mathew shared that "when he read what Solomon said it was the most important aspect of success for him. He decided that he would live his life based on that principle.” 

What is that principle?  Solomon said, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” I want to focus on this life principle in today’s blog.

If you’re like me, my first thought is what does that really mean? “Philosophers and theologians have talked and written for millennium about what the heart is. Not only do they refer to the physical heart, but they also talk about the inner part of us that controls who we are.” Once again, I ask, “What does that really mean?” Here’s an analogy that helped me, “The brain is the physical part, but the mind is the nonphysical part that exists and drives us. The physical heart sits at the core of our body, but then you have your heart, which, though not physical, is at the core of who we are and what we do.” That helped this concept begin to make sense to me and easier to wrap my head around Solomon’s advice.

I enjoy reading the explanation the grandfather is giving his grandson because it’s in simple, layman’s terms that I can understand and also relate to on many levels. “The mind, the will, the emotions, the soul, the heart are all wrapped up into one.”  I can agree with that.  It’s the “me” that isn’t physical. Ah, finally I’m wrapping all my questions and thoughts into a little neater package. It is our morals and values, our ethics.  It is our courage, our fear, it’s the spiritual part of who we are. It’s the intangibles, the internal force that drives each of us.

Re-reading this book, for at least the third time, it has also comes at a good time as some of my internal dialogue has been examining my own values and what does actually drive my thinking and actions. And before we get too far into this, I must remind you as the reader and myself most of all, that this is a journey. What I’m learning and doing at 63 is very different than when I was 35.  Do I wish I had had this information earlier? Of course. But the good news is I have had people come into my life as mentors, I’ve read books that I hadn’t read earlier, and now I have an even better understanding and appreciation for the importance of self-education/personal development.  It’s critical to ALL learning and moving ahead in any area of our lives. 

When I was in my 20’s and 30’s, my reading choices were primarily focused on my teaching.  Books I read were how to fine tune my craft, or I was reading the books I had my fifth graders read.  All the reading was great learning for me as a teacher and also great literature with life lessons for my 10-11 year olds. What I didn’t do then, however, was apply things to my personal life. Yes, I wish I had been open to another level of learning earlier, but the good news is I was eventually open. That openness and learning on a personal level has changed my life in all areas.  For those of you reading this; no matter what age, my hope for you is that YOU will make a decision NOW to follow Solomon’s wisdom, “Above all else, guard your heart as it’s the wellspring of life.” Maybe you’ve come to the realization that you have already been following this concept most or all of your life, you just didn’t have a term for it. If that’s the case, I congratulate you and urge you to pass this along to your children, grandchildren, and others.

Two words of Solomon’s quote intrigue me.  The first is wellspring. “Your heart is the wellspring of life.”  According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary definition, a wellspring is a source of continual supply. If we all have a wellspring then aren’t we the ones that determine if that well is dry or full? I would suggest then that our focus to be learning and growing each and every day in order to be the best we can be is what fills our wellspring. If we think we don’t have time, we already know how to do something, we’ve been doing something for all these years and it worked 10 years ago, we’re complacent with our life, we’re willing to accept we’re not in the kind of shape we should be for our age rather than change, we’re ignoring the health information about how sugar is harmful etc. etc. I believe those are the things that “dry up” our well. If the heart is the wellspring of life, how would you classify how full or how empty your wellspring is?

The second word that intrigues me is “guard” your heart. Guard my heart? That’s an interesting choice of words or is it? When I think about guarding something, I think about something that’s valuable and it could be stolen. Hmmm….Thinking along those lines, I realize there are all sorts of things that try to steal our hearts. As Chris Widener explains in the book, “The things that are at war against the proper care and feeding of our heart are the foes the enemies” then I believe there are lots of them.

In order to follow this line of thought, I’m looking at what my heart is focused on and are those things filling or emptying my wellspring? We’ve all heard/read about well-known news anchors, movie stars, and people of influence "falling apart." Why is that? I would venture to say that their success was bigger than their heart and it needed to be the other way around. What about the people around you?  Can you identify a boss, co-worker, friend, family member etc. whose success has been bigger than their heart? Their title, their status, their lack of honor and credibility has led them to be disrespectful, their words and actions don't match, and they seem to only be guided by what THEY want and what THEY think THEY can get out of a person, situation etc. Focusing only on personal power, control, and a lack of ethics are all "Foes to our heart."

If our heart, according to the words of Solomon, is at the core of who we are and what we do then it’s the foundation for our life.  It is our morals and values, our ethics.  It is our courage, our fear, it’s the spiritual part of who we are. Somewhere along the path our lives take us, we make choices. It’s not just the movie stars, politicians, CEO’s, business people, ministers who have fallen off because their foundation isn’t strong, it can happen to anyone. I would suggest that if you, me, or anyone is not paying attention to the “cultivation” of our hearts; we can fall off that path just like the others.  If, however, we’ve made mistakes along the way, we learn from them, and we realize that our foundation, the “wellspring of life,” has been compromised we can “go back” and rebuild.

So how do we foster our heart? One of the messages Mathew relays to his grandson is that we must “discipline our lives to make room for the heart to constantly grow.” What I have been writing about in most of my blogs, I now realize, comes down to taking the time to foster my heart. We all get caught up in our business, our job, and life in general which leads to a lack of attention to our heart, our soul. “Most of life just happens. But the good stuff doesn’t seem to just happen. You have to make it happen. You have to discipline yourself to make it happen.”

My challenge for you this week is to take time to be alone.  Yes, I said alone. That means no music, no social media, no cell phone, no distractions…totally alone. Be alone with your thoughts. We are surrounded by technology and many more distractions which tend to keep us outwardly focused rather than inwardly focused. ”When we take away all the chatter and distractions, we can finally actually connect with all that is inside of us.”

I wish you a week of reflection on Solomon’s words, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”  As always, I enjoy hearing your thoughts and comments.